Blizzard Blackout
When I Look At You
“I think something’s wrong with the baby,” Val whispered breathlessly, speaking the words no one wanted to hear.
“It hurts, he’s hurt!” I screamed trying to clutch my stomach. No one had known the sex of the baby, it was supposed to be a surprise but I found out, I had asked the doctor. It was a boy, my little Trystan James Haner and I could tell that he was hurting. “Something’s wrong, something’s wrong—“
“What do we do?” no one could believe that Brian was actually crying, holding my hand like if I let go, I’d vanish.
“Let me through!” Dean pushed his way through the crowd and dropped to his knees, he went to pull off my pants and two people grabbed him. “You want this baby out alive, let go. I’m in residency to be a doctor in the neo-natal intensive care unit at the hospital, I can help her.”
“Let him!” Samantha pushed through and sat beside me, on the opposite side of Brian. “I’m a nurse, we can help her.”
“I need towels, I have to break her water,” Dean ordered people around; I only caught some things, not much. “This is going to hurt, Kasey, I’m sorry.”
The pain was horrible, but not as bad when you’ve gone completely numb from the neck down. I think most of the pain was mental, I was thinking of how bad it could be, especially when everyone started making noises. Not that I wanted them all to look up my crotch and see but no one would leave. “Everyone but Val, Matt and Zacky need to get out!” Brian shouted and everyone listened, the door didn’t shut but they all left the threshold. “Baby, it’ll be alright, I promise.”
“He’s too early, he wasn’t supposed to be here until January,” I cried as Dean went to work, he didn’t have much to work with but he made due.
“Her water has been broke, we just have to get him out,” Dean explained and soon enough, I felt the contraction hit me, thirty seconds apart. It felt like forever, it had only been an hour. “Val I need someone to go to the baby store down west wing and get baby squeegees so I can get the blood from his nose and mouth, I need oxygen pumps from the first aid station and scissors.”
Val shouted out the door and everyone went running. I think I passed out for a few minutes because when I woke up, they were yelling at me to push. “Kasey push!” Val shouted as she fell to her knees beside Brian. Zacky and Matt were against the wall, staring in horror and fascination. Like a car crash in slow motion, you want to watch to see the outcome but you want to look away because it’s just to traumatic to see.
Finally, five minutes later I felt pressure release and I heard everyone cry out. My baby boy was delivered but he wasn’t crying. “He’s not healthy,” Dean explained once he handed my son off to Samantha to tend too, she was a baby nurse and she knew the protocol. “He was blocked of air for a long time; his umbilical cord was around his neck. I’m not sure if he’ll make it, Kasey.”
“No,” I cried, grabbing hold of Brian’s hand. I screamed letting my legs and everything go weak and fall to the ground. I squeezed his hand as I screamed, I couldn’t stop. I buried my head in Brian’s shirt and sobbed, screamed and sobbed some more. I could feel him crying, I could hear everyone crying in the room but Dean. I couldn’t let go of Brian, but I had to so I could see my son, even for a moment. “Let me see him.”
“Honey, I don’t think—“Samantha murmured.
“Let me see my son, if he dies I want to at least say I knew him,” I sobbed a little as she handed him over; I stared at his weak face. He was purple but he was healthy size, not eight pounds healthy but good enough. He was shallowly breathing, but it was obvious he wasn’t very much alive. “I’m so sorry baby; I tried everything to make you healthy. I loved you so much…”
“I’m—I’m so sorry,” Brian stood, crying so hard he couldn’t breath and he walked away. Zacky watched, pitiful and then he slid in Brian’s spot.
“Hey there buddy,” he whispered rubbing my head, trying to comfort me and him. “You better hang in there, you got an awesome mom to look forward too and your dad isn’t too shabby on his good days. You have to hang in there; I have plans to teach you things you’re not supposed to do. I have to teach you to say damn and shit and hit baseballs at windows—“
“It hurts, he’s hurt!” I screamed trying to clutch my stomach. No one had known the sex of the baby, it was supposed to be a surprise but I found out, I had asked the doctor. It was a boy, my little Trystan James Haner and I could tell that he was hurting. “Something’s wrong, something’s wrong—“
“What do we do?” no one could believe that Brian was actually crying, holding my hand like if I let go, I’d vanish.
“Let me through!” Dean pushed his way through the crowd and dropped to his knees, he went to pull off my pants and two people grabbed him. “You want this baby out alive, let go. I’m in residency to be a doctor in the neo-natal intensive care unit at the hospital, I can help her.”
“Let him!” Samantha pushed through and sat beside me, on the opposite side of Brian. “I’m a nurse, we can help her.”
“I need towels, I have to break her water,” Dean ordered people around; I only caught some things, not much. “This is going to hurt, Kasey, I’m sorry.”
The pain was horrible, but not as bad when you’ve gone completely numb from the neck down. I think most of the pain was mental, I was thinking of how bad it could be, especially when everyone started making noises. Not that I wanted them all to look up my crotch and see but no one would leave. “Everyone but Val, Matt and Zacky need to get out!” Brian shouted and everyone listened, the door didn’t shut but they all left the threshold. “Baby, it’ll be alright, I promise.”
“He’s too early, he wasn’t supposed to be here until January,” I cried as Dean went to work, he didn’t have much to work with but he made due.
“Her water has been broke, we just have to get him out,” Dean explained and soon enough, I felt the contraction hit me, thirty seconds apart. It felt like forever, it had only been an hour. “Val I need someone to go to the baby store down west wing and get baby squeegees so I can get the blood from his nose and mouth, I need oxygen pumps from the first aid station and scissors.”
Val shouted out the door and everyone went running. I think I passed out for a few minutes because when I woke up, they were yelling at me to push. “Kasey push!” Val shouted as she fell to her knees beside Brian. Zacky and Matt were against the wall, staring in horror and fascination. Like a car crash in slow motion, you want to watch to see the outcome but you want to look away because it’s just to traumatic to see.
Finally, five minutes later I felt pressure release and I heard everyone cry out. My baby boy was delivered but he wasn’t crying. “He’s not healthy,” Dean explained once he handed my son off to Samantha to tend too, she was a baby nurse and she knew the protocol. “He was blocked of air for a long time; his umbilical cord was around his neck. I’m not sure if he’ll make it, Kasey.”
“No,” I cried, grabbing hold of Brian’s hand. I screamed letting my legs and everything go weak and fall to the ground. I squeezed his hand as I screamed, I couldn’t stop. I buried my head in Brian’s shirt and sobbed, screamed and sobbed some more. I could feel him crying, I could hear everyone crying in the room but Dean. I couldn’t let go of Brian, but I had to so I could see my son, even for a moment. “Let me see him.”
“Honey, I don’t think—“Samantha murmured.
“Let me see my son, if he dies I want to at least say I knew him,” I sobbed a little as she handed him over; I stared at his weak face. He was purple but he was healthy size, not eight pounds healthy but good enough. He was shallowly breathing, but it was obvious he wasn’t very much alive. “I’m so sorry baby; I tried everything to make you healthy. I loved you so much…”
“I’m—I’m so sorry,” Brian stood, crying so hard he couldn’t breath and he walked away. Zacky watched, pitiful and then he slid in Brian’s spot.
“Hey there buddy,” he whispered rubbing my head, trying to comfort me and him. “You better hang in there, you got an awesome mom to look forward too and your dad isn’t too shabby on his good days. You have to hang in there; I have plans to teach you things you’re not supposed to do. I have to teach you to say damn and shit and hit baseballs at windows—“
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Question: What was Brian's deal now?