Blizzard Blackout

“You did that to yourself because all you think about is you,” I told him and shook my head. “It wouldn’t have ever worked out between us; you can’t handle any responsibilities that are harder than taking out the trash.”

“I agree,” he nodded his head pitifully. “I’m a world class fuck up and I deserve everything you throw at me. I really do, but I’m trying to make it better. I have been trying really hard to do better. I wasn’t going to bring Kalia back because I wanted to be able to sooth my daughter! She wouldn’t stop crying and I know it hurt her because she was turning red in the face; I fought between pride and the right thing to do. I brought her here; give me that at least that. I did do that right thing.”

“Thank you for that,” I told him quietly. “We can’t go back in our past, Brian but we can go forward. If you stop acting like everything is horrible and actually care, maybe we could be friends again.”

“I really do miss you, I want to be friends again,” he told me nodding. “I know I can’t ever have you again, Dan has your heart now. I wish it weren’t so, but you’re happy and that’s enough for me. I just want to be your friend.”

“We can do that,” I nodded and held both hands out. He took them hesitantly and stared at me blankly. “I do love you. I loved you before we got together because you were one of my best friends and I love you now because you gave me two precious gifts. We can’t ever be back together but we can be friends, like before.”

“I would rather that then nothing,” he told me honestly. I smiled at him, reached up and kissed his cheek. “What was that for?”

“Being man enough to know when giving up the past is the right thing to do,” I told him and slowly turned, still holding his hand and walked towards the door. “Everything will be okay now. I promise.”

Epilogue—

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him to come back!” Dan was bawling, but he was angry too as he paced around our living room. “I knew this would happen! You love that idiot way to much for us to ever be happy!”

“I’m so sorry,” I cried into my hands and leaned over my knees, threatening to fall on my face. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I never meant for that to happen, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You slept with your ex-husband!” Dan whirled around and screamed at me, throwing his hand out to point off to the back room, where Brian still was. “In our bed, Kasey, where we have made love, you had sex with someone you hated.”

“I still love him,” I whispered the truth, glancing up into his blood shot red eyes, that shined with tears. “I tried not too, I really did. I just couldn’t help it, Dan. He’s given me children; he was my first real love.”

“I was your first real love!” he screamed again, leaning down to come closer to my face. “Do you not remember losing your virginity to me! I was the one that treated you like a queen! He couldn’t even stand to be around you when you were pregnant with his children! What kind of a man is he!”

“He’s not a very good one but I love him, Dan. I can’t stop loving him because he was a horrible person, he’s better now. I will always love him because he gave me my children, like I will always love you for giving me Jayme,” I started crying again, covering my face so I could calm down.

“You don’t love me enough though, to be happy. I’ve given you everything in this world that’s there to offer, I have made you feel just like a princess. I have been there for everything and this is how I’m repaid, by you cheating on me with the son of a bitch that’s broken your heart more times than you can count,” Dan laughed cruelly as he started pacing again, back and forth before me. I stopped watching him long enough to glance towards the bedroom door, where Brian was standing, listening. “I don’t know what more I could have done for you, I done everything humanly possible!”

“You treated me like gold and I love you for that,” I whispered standing up. “I never should have hurt you like this; I didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t know how to explain what happened besides I just needed Brian. He still has a hold over me that I can’t explain, you were amazing in more ways than one and you will make some girl, or guy happy. I can’t be that girl because I will never be good enough for you; I can’t be with you knowing that I could choose someone else over you, that is not what love is.”