Blizzard Blackout

“Fuck you, I hope you rot in hell you son of a bitch,” I slapped him across the face, pushed him backwards out of my bedroom and slammed the door on him. I locked the door and ran for the bathroom. I sat against the door for a good hour and a half before I heard crying from above me, I closed my eyes for a second and then I stood up and hurried upstairs. “Kalia? Honey, you’re supposed to be asleep for mommy.”

Her face was red from crying and she was holding her hands out pitifully, reaching for me to pick her up. I leaned over the crib and lifted her in my arms. I dug my face into her dark brown hair and cried along with her. I leaned her back after a moment and smiled at her as I brushed her tears away. “Mommy,” she whispered one of the few words she knew.

“Its okay, mommy will make this all better,” I whispered to her. I pressed my lips to her forehead and sat her down on the ground, I handed her a toy from her toy box and went around the room collecting her things, throwing them in a duffle bag I found under her crib that we used for vacations. Once done with her things, the main things, I picked her up and carried the bag to the stairs, I sat it at the edge and went back in the room and started collecting things from Jayme’s dressers and started throwing her baby clothes in a small suitcase with Barbie on it that we bought her a month ago. Jayme wasn’t home; she was with Matt, Val and Trystan at the mall. I glanced at my wrist watch and came to the conclusion that they’d be back within the next hour. I used that next hour perfectly, collecting things around the house in two different bags I had found. Trystan’s was the heaviest because he had the most things. I was able to run around without dragging Kalia along after she fell asleep playing with her Elmo toy so I put her back in her crib and continued packing. I had just finished packing my necessities when I glanced at my watch. It was time to go, I reminded myself as I carried all five bags of our life to my Explorer and then went back to get Kalia ready for the monsoon happening outside. Kalia was still asleep when I put her in her car seat and drove over to Matt’s. I left in her in the car for a minute and ran through the rain to the front door. “Matt! Open up!”

“Kasey? Are you okay?” Matt opened the door in a hurry and stared down at me like I was insane for beating on the door and screaming like a banshee.

“I came to get Trystan and Jayme, I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry,” I called out over the loud sound of the rain. Matt’s worried eyes turned suddenly confused as he glanced back towards Val and Trystan who were at the table, playing Monopoly.

“You said Trystan and Jayme were staying, we’ve already—“Matt started but I rushed past him.

“Matt, we’ve got to go. Please just help me get Trystan in the car without getting him soaked,” I pleaded with him as I bent and kissed Trystan’s head. When I stood back up, Matt’s whole expression seemed to drop. He had noticed my eyes.

“You’re not doing anything stupid are you?” he asked.

“No, just help me Matt, I’d greatly appreciate it,” I told him quietly. Matt nodded and smiled down at Trystan.

“Let’s go get you in the car, say bye to Aunt Val,” Matt told Trystan enthusiastically. Trystan gave Val a hug and a kiss before he was wheeled away by Matt. I stayed behind for a second in complete silence before I turned to Val.

“I trust you not to judge me,” I whispered to her softly. “I know I’m being reckless right now but I feel this is what I have to do. I want you to know you have been closer then a sister to me and I will always regard you with the amount of respect of one. I hope I’m put in your good thought for years to come, I’ll miss you most.”

“Kasey what are you doing?” she stood from the table, a look of pure terror on her beautiful face. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“Just make sure Brian doesn’t screw over Michelle or make Daniella,” Brian’s daughter. “Hate him. Please, make sure Dan knows I love him and I’m sorry. I love you Val, you were always there for me.”

“Kasey you’re scaring me,” she whispered but I shushed her by hugging her tight. I let go after a minute and walked upstairs, knowing that Jayme was sound asleep in her nursery, the one Val had created for Kalia when she was little and now there were two beds in it. I lifted Jayme from her bed, still sleeping soundly and wrapped her in a pink fuzzy blanket. I came downstairs to find Val crying hysterically to Matt about me going insane. “Something’s wrong, Matt. We have to stop her, she’s not her.”

“I’m me,” I whispered stepping down the very last step. I smiled softly at both people and shook my head sadly. “I’m just not a very good version of me at the moment. I’m sorry I’ve upset you Val; I just wanted you to know how much you meant to me. Matt, I love you so much. Thank you for being the father Trystan never had to him, he’ll grow to respect that and treasure it. I’m sorry I’m leaving.”

“Your leaving for where?” Matt asked stepping away from Val towards me; he put both his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “You’re leaving Huntington?”

“I’ll call you and let you know we’re okay, like I said, I love you guys,” I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for everything.”

“Kasey, please don’t leave,” Val cried but I stepped past her as Matt held her in place. “Matt let go!”

“Good bye,” I let a few tears loose as I shut the door behind me.

My Life started with a winter wonderland, it bloomed like a rose in the spring, it got heated like the summer and it ended like fall, the leaves of our life slowly drifted away and were replaced with something new. The seasons were changing and we were changing with them, my children and I were starting off fresh—we were creating a new life, one free from the tornado we called our life in Huntington.