How To Loose A Father In 10 Easy Steps...Apparently.
The Randomer In The Pinstripe Suit.
I had left the guys to walk home on my own. I switched on my ipod and turned it onto shuffle. A Boy Brushed Red by Underoath came on.
“God I love this song!”
I was singing to myself, shuffling my old Vans on the pavement and fiddling with the bright rubber bracelets on my arms. Kids were screaming and laughing all around me, running about randomly and just playing. It was fun watching them run around, reminded me of when i was younger i suppose.
I walked down Main Street, it was jam packed as per usual. Everyone was just going about their business like normal, noone noticing me walk past them. Invisible.
Yeah invisible, that sounds like a good word to describe me. Katiee the invisible depressed emo girl. That’s probably something they call me. I don’t really care, but I have to admit it'd be nice every once and a while to get some peace.
I turned onto my street to be greeted by flashing lights. Probably the police or something. My street is a dump you see, it's normal to see the police here on a Saturday night. Someone probably got robbed or something. I sigh and looked to see what house they were at. Most likely it was the Robinsons. That family was deranged I swear to you. Just last week they let their dog try and mutilate my cat. Seriously they did, even though noone believes me about it, I know it’s true.
I had come closer to my house and Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance came onto my ipod. I was still looking for what house the flashing lights were outside, i'm just nosy that way. I saw guys in yellow jumpsuit things surrounding a house. There was shattering of windows heard and it was only then I noticed that the house was on fire!
“Holy fuck!” I shouted.
“Oh my god Katiee there you are, we’ve had people searching for you everywhere. Where were you?” my neighbour, Louise Robinson had run up to me.
“Oh hey Louise. I was out with the guys. Why?”
“Have you not noticed? Your house is on fire you stupid idiot!”
I looked at her face; she looks serious enough about it. I looked at the house again. There was the overgrown grass alright, and the roses that needed pruning. The ivy vines under the window that I used to sneak out of before my mom caught me at it. The broken bathroom window downstairs that could never be shut, so we had to board it up.
“My mom, where’s my mom? Is she in the McDonnell’s or something? Where is she Louise I don’t see her here, she must be somewhere? Did they have to take her to an ambulance or something?” My breathing was all over the place.
Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say.
“I'm sorry Katiee, she was found about 10 minutes ago.”
“Yeah okay so where is she then? She’s okay yeah?”
“No. Katiee she’s not okay.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
My eyes were beginning to water. Partly because of the smoke which was absolutely everywhere by now, and partly because I was afraid of what she was going to say next.
“Katiee, your mom was found in your kitchen. She’s dead.”
...............
“No. NO! MOM WHERE ARE YOU?”
“Katiee please calm down there is nothing you can do now.”
“YES THERE GODDAMN IS! MOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
One of the firemen came over to me, a very weird and mixed up expression on his face. Wait I know that expression. It's pity. My teachers gave it to me all the time. Long story, I might tell you some day if i'm bothered.
“Amm, I take it that you are Miss Richards yes?” he almost whispered to me, like I was some sort of time bomb about to go off in his face.
“Yes I am. Now where is my mother? I want to see her right now!”
“I am so sorry Miss Richards. Your mother was found dead around 15 minutes ago.”
“No! You’re lying to me aren’t you! This is Punk’d or something and Ashton is gonna pop out of a bush or one of those vans like right now and scare the shit outa me!”
He just looked confused. Genuine confusion. “Punk’d? I'm afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I was there myself I saw them take your mother out of the house.”
I took a look around me, that stupid fireman giving me that look. Louise was crying. There were people from my street looking on to our conversation, nosy fricking idiots.
“What the hell are you all staring at? Go the fuck away!” I screamed at them.
“Miss Richards, please calm down.” The fireman, i'm gonna call him Bill because he looks like his name would be Bill, was saying to me. Like I was going to calm down anytime soon.
“Excuse me. But did an idiot in a yellow jumpsuit that makes him look like a banana just tell you that your mother has died in a fire? Are you going to have to be put into some stinking care home? Are you going to be left an orphan? No? I didn’t think so! Think about that before you tell me to calm the fuck down again!”
Just then some complete randomer in a pinstripe suit came over to me. Haha he looked like an oversized pork sausage, he's so fat. And pink. Oh look there’s the pity face again. Yay for me I feel so loved. Not.
“Excuse me. Would I be right in thinking that this is Miss Katelyn Richards?”
“Yeah this is her. Please talk to her and try to calm her down because I have work to be doing.” Bill finally walked away. Now maybe I might get some truth out of someone. Maybe.
“So who the hell are you then and why do you know my name?”
“Please Miss Richards; stop cursing it’s not pretty.”
“Do I look like I give a fuck what’s pretty or not at this moment in time?”
“Not really no, but it’s not very polite. I’m Mr Simmons. I am your new social worker. I’m now in charge of you until we find you somewhere to stay.”
Oh yay. I told you I’d be sent into care didn’t i? He doesn’t look fit to look after a fricking goldfish never mind me.
“Amm don’t mind me. Have you ever had any goldfish before?”
“What sort of question is that Katelyn? Your mother is only after dying.”
“It’s a question that I want answered.”
“Yes I did have goldfish before. But they died i'm afraid.”
You see I told you. I can’t believe he’s going to look after me. I’ll be dead within a week i'm serious. Maybe two if I’m lucky.
“Okay then.” I was just going to humour him. Good impressions and all that. Because i'm such a well mannered, polite and good humoured person after all. Yeah right.
“Well Katelyn, you’re going to have to come with me. I have a home all set up for you.”
Jeez that was quick, I’ve only been an orphan for about 20 minutes and already I have a prison to be sent to.
“You guys don’t waste any time do you?”
“No not really. Actually social services have been looking into your family situation for quite some time now. We were going to take action eventually, but I guess your mother’s death has just saved us time I suppose.”
How much like a robot can you get? Seriously this guy is a freak.
“Dude my mom is only after dying. Can you be just a little bit more sympathetic maybe?”
“Why? It’s not like she took good care of you. You were left on your own for most of your life anyway. I'm surprised you know who your mother is at all. Only time you saw her was when she was sleeping off hangovers. You should be glad that she’s dead really.”
Did he seriously just say that? Unbelievable. How cold can you get? Yeah it’s the truth but come on the woman is only after burning to death! And she is my mother!
“Dude that’s my fucking mother you’re talking about! Shut up or be shut up!”
“Now Katelyn there is no need for violence here, i'm only trying to help you.” Oh my god, is he smiling?
“No violence needed trust me. One scream from me and I could have you up in court for molestation charges.”
“Oh naughty naughty.” Yeah he is smiling. Pervert.
“Eugh no chance dude, keep the hell away from me i'm warning you!”
“Either way Katelyn, you have to come with me. To your new care home. I'm sure you’ll like it there. The kids are all like you. You’ll fit right in, trust me.”
This will be fun. I have to go to a care home full of delinquent, emotional, foul-mouthed teenagers. Yayness.
“Lead the way Mr Blobby.”
“Come along then.”
“God I love this song!”
I was singing to myself, shuffling my old Vans on the pavement and fiddling with the bright rubber bracelets on my arms. Kids were screaming and laughing all around me, running about randomly and just playing. It was fun watching them run around, reminded me of when i was younger i suppose.
I walked down Main Street, it was jam packed as per usual. Everyone was just going about their business like normal, noone noticing me walk past them. Invisible.
Yeah invisible, that sounds like a good word to describe me. Katiee the invisible depressed emo girl. That’s probably something they call me. I don’t really care, but I have to admit it'd be nice every once and a while to get some peace.
I turned onto my street to be greeted by flashing lights. Probably the police or something. My street is a dump you see, it's normal to see the police here on a Saturday night. Someone probably got robbed or something. I sigh and looked to see what house they were at. Most likely it was the Robinsons. That family was deranged I swear to you. Just last week they let their dog try and mutilate my cat. Seriously they did, even though noone believes me about it, I know it’s true.
I had come closer to my house and Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance came onto my ipod. I was still looking for what house the flashing lights were outside, i'm just nosy that way. I saw guys in yellow jumpsuit things surrounding a house. There was shattering of windows heard and it was only then I noticed that the house was on fire!
“Holy fuck!” I shouted.
“Oh my god Katiee there you are, we’ve had people searching for you everywhere. Where were you?” my neighbour, Louise Robinson had run up to me.
“Oh hey Louise. I was out with the guys. Why?”
“Have you not noticed? Your house is on fire you stupid idiot!”
I looked at her face; she looks serious enough about it. I looked at the house again. There was the overgrown grass alright, and the roses that needed pruning. The ivy vines under the window that I used to sneak out of before my mom caught me at it. The broken bathroom window downstairs that could never be shut, so we had to board it up.
“My mom, where’s my mom? Is she in the McDonnell’s or something? Where is she Louise I don’t see her here, she must be somewhere? Did they have to take her to an ambulance or something?” My breathing was all over the place.
Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say.
“I'm sorry Katiee, she was found about 10 minutes ago.”
“Yeah okay so where is she then? She’s okay yeah?”
“No. Katiee she’s not okay.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
My eyes were beginning to water. Partly because of the smoke which was absolutely everywhere by now, and partly because I was afraid of what she was going to say next.
“Katiee, your mom was found in your kitchen. She’s dead.”
...............
“No. NO! MOM WHERE ARE YOU?”
“Katiee please calm down there is nothing you can do now.”
“YES THERE GODDAMN IS! MOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
One of the firemen came over to me, a very weird and mixed up expression on his face. Wait I know that expression. It's pity. My teachers gave it to me all the time. Long story, I might tell you some day if i'm bothered.
“Amm, I take it that you are Miss Richards yes?” he almost whispered to me, like I was some sort of time bomb about to go off in his face.
“Yes I am. Now where is my mother? I want to see her right now!”
“I am so sorry Miss Richards. Your mother was found dead around 15 minutes ago.”
“No! You’re lying to me aren’t you! This is Punk’d or something and Ashton is gonna pop out of a bush or one of those vans like right now and scare the shit outa me!”
He just looked confused. Genuine confusion. “Punk’d? I'm afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I was there myself I saw them take your mother out of the house.”
I took a look around me, that stupid fireman giving me that look. Louise was crying. There were people from my street looking on to our conversation, nosy fricking idiots.
“What the hell are you all staring at? Go the fuck away!” I screamed at them.
“Miss Richards, please calm down.” The fireman, i'm gonna call him Bill because he looks like his name would be Bill, was saying to me. Like I was going to calm down anytime soon.
“Excuse me. But did an idiot in a yellow jumpsuit that makes him look like a banana just tell you that your mother has died in a fire? Are you going to have to be put into some stinking care home? Are you going to be left an orphan? No? I didn’t think so! Think about that before you tell me to calm the fuck down again!”
Just then some complete randomer in a pinstripe suit came over to me. Haha he looked like an oversized pork sausage, he's so fat. And pink. Oh look there’s the pity face again. Yay for me I feel so loved. Not.
“Excuse me. Would I be right in thinking that this is Miss Katelyn Richards?”
“Yeah this is her. Please talk to her and try to calm her down because I have work to be doing.” Bill finally walked away. Now maybe I might get some truth out of someone. Maybe.
“So who the hell are you then and why do you know my name?”
“Please Miss Richards; stop cursing it’s not pretty.”
“Do I look like I give a fuck what’s pretty or not at this moment in time?”
“Not really no, but it’s not very polite. I’m Mr Simmons. I am your new social worker. I’m now in charge of you until we find you somewhere to stay.”
Oh yay. I told you I’d be sent into care didn’t i? He doesn’t look fit to look after a fricking goldfish never mind me.
“Amm don’t mind me. Have you ever had any goldfish before?”
“What sort of question is that Katelyn? Your mother is only after dying.”
“It’s a question that I want answered.”
“Yes I did have goldfish before. But they died i'm afraid.”
You see I told you. I can’t believe he’s going to look after me. I’ll be dead within a week i'm serious. Maybe two if I’m lucky.
“Okay then.” I was just going to humour him. Good impressions and all that. Because i'm such a well mannered, polite and good humoured person after all. Yeah right.
“Well Katelyn, you’re going to have to come with me. I have a home all set up for you.”
Jeez that was quick, I’ve only been an orphan for about 20 minutes and already I have a prison to be sent to.
“You guys don’t waste any time do you?”
“No not really. Actually social services have been looking into your family situation for quite some time now. We were going to take action eventually, but I guess your mother’s death has just saved us time I suppose.”
How much like a robot can you get? Seriously this guy is a freak.
“Dude my mom is only after dying. Can you be just a little bit more sympathetic maybe?”
“Why? It’s not like she took good care of you. You were left on your own for most of your life anyway. I'm surprised you know who your mother is at all. Only time you saw her was when she was sleeping off hangovers. You should be glad that she’s dead really.”
Did he seriously just say that? Unbelievable. How cold can you get? Yeah it’s the truth but come on the woman is only after burning to death! And she is my mother!
“Dude that’s my fucking mother you’re talking about! Shut up or be shut up!”
“Now Katelyn there is no need for violence here, i'm only trying to help you.” Oh my god, is he smiling?
“No violence needed trust me. One scream from me and I could have you up in court for molestation charges.”
“Oh naughty naughty.” Yeah he is smiling. Pervert.
“Eugh no chance dude, keep the hell away from me i'm warning you!”
“Either way Katelyn, you have to come with me. To your new care home. I'm sure you’ll like it there. The kids are all like you. You’ll fit right in, trust me.”
This will be fun. I have to go to a care home full of delinquent, emotional, foul-mouthed teenagers. Yayness.
“Lead the way Mr Blobby.”
“Come along then.”