How To Loose A Father In 10 Easy Steps...Apparently.
The Minute Of Initial Shock?
The words I never thought I’d hear. That I never wanted to hear.
“You’re father. He’s got in touch Katiee. He’s looking for you.”
They’re ringing in my ears. Why now? It’s been what? 14 years? Why couldn’t he come when I was younger, when I actually wanted him to? Not know.
“Katiee, you there? Hello?”
Huh? Oh right yeah, Sarah. Forgot she was here. Her mouths moving….oh right yeah she’s talking.
“Your dad. When you came here, Malcolm was looking around for foster families for you. And in your file, he came across your original birth certificate.”
“And that means what to me?”
“Well, you’re father’s name was on it. Malcolm took down the name and called some people and got a number. It took a while, but he talked to your dad, and he’s on his way to get you.”
“I don’t want him to.”
Sarah looked confused now, I mean I would be too, if a kid in care had told me she didn’t want to leave with her father. Sounds kinda kooky. Like a mental exam is needed. But meh that’s just me.
Oh wait; I’m the kid aren’t i?
“Why the hell is he coming here? I don’t want him here.”
“Don’t you want to leave? Go live with him? He doesn’t live that far away. Just in Newark actually.”
“You’re forgetting, I haven’t lived in Jersey long. I have no idea where Newark is.”
“It’s near enough.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“But, you won’t have to stay in Riverdale any longer?”
“I said no.”
“Katiee come on, just think about it. Do you not want to meet him or something? You have the chance to get to know him here.”
“I really don’t care Sarah.”
I stood up and pushed past her to get out into the hallway. Sarah followed me and called down to me, loud enough for most kids to hear, “Katiee please, he’s your father!”
“I couldn’t give a fuck! Tell him to piss off, because I don’t want to meet him!” I shouted back, before leaving her standing to go find Charlie in the TV room. Or so I thought anyway. Because she followed me to the staircase.
“I think you are gonna want to meet him.”
Grr…”And why do you say that then?”
“You’ll see. He’s on his way. He’ll be here in around an hour. Be ready eh?”
And then she walked on down the stairs, leaving me standing instead.
So, he’s really coming. The asshole is really coming, he’s actually on his way. I guess I can’t do anything about it now eh? Except maybe egg him when his car pulls in (good idea actually….hehehe.)
I’m gonna meet my father. In an hour. After 14 years.
I mean, I don’t even remember him? When I was younger, all I could remember when I thought back was singing. He sang to me. I remember music most of all. And warm hazel eyes. That’s about it.
Oh, and the way he held me. I can remember feeling safe. He’d rap his arms around my little body, holding me close and not letting go. I think that was my favourite place to be, in my father’s arms.
Before he left that is.
He’s just another fucking asshole who breaks his promises. I’ve had my own fair share of those and I don’t want him back to make and break more.
May as well look good for him though.
So that’s why I strolled back to my room. I pulled off my old jeans and squeezed myself into my favourite blue denim skinny jeans and slipped through a cube checker belt. Then I pulled on a My Chem skinny band tee and slipped on a pair of vans. Then I turned to my mirror. Backcombed my hair a bit more, some more hairspray. Thicker eyeliner.
I don’t really know why I’m doing myself up. He’ll probably have a heart attack. That’s a good thing though, coz then I wouldn’t have to live with him.
That’s my aim then, to give the bastard a heart attack; evil looks a plenty tonight then.
I’ve been told I look evil when I give people dirty looks. Fun!
“And I, JACK, the Pumpkin King…”
“Aww I love this movie! It’s mint!”
“Yeah I suppose.”
Charlie looked at me from the other side of the sofa, where he was curled up with the bag of skittles.
“What’s the matter? You love The Nightmare Before Christmas. There’s something wrong, you’re not singing along.”
That’s true. I’m always singing along. Not tonight though, I’m not in the mood. Charlie doesn’t know about my visitor yet, and i’m hoping I won’t have to tell him. That the dude will just take the hint and leave before Charlie notices anything. 5 minutes left roundabout. Biological father…meeting...5 minutes…coming here…Somehow the idea just doesn’t seem real. I mean, I’ve had a lot of “fathers” over the years. Pretty much whoever my mom brought home at night. It’s another reason why we moved around a lot. Because a lot of those fathers didn’t seem to take the hint when shesays said no. That’s in the past though.
“I’m fine.”
How could I be fine? I’m such a liar, but no-one ever notices when I lie. I’ve gotten good at it I suppose. Years of practice.
But he doesn’t believe me. Why should he? He said he can always tell when I’m lying about my feelings. Something about my eyes gives it away apparently. He’s the first to have noticed though. Thing is though, I’m not really sad, I’m confused.
Why would he want to come for me now?
“Katiee, there’s someone here for you,” Sarah calls from the entrance hall. It’s time then. He’s here. No more dodging it, or denying it.
Charlie never looked up, too engrossed by the movie. “Well go see who it is then you idiot.”
A few minutes of silence. I don’t know what to do! I can hear mutters in the hall.
“Katiee come on he’s here.”
At this Charlie looks over, “Who’s here then?”
Ahh… “No-one Charlie. Don’t worry. Just watch the movie.”
The door to the TV room opened and Sarah came through, the voices in the hall got momentary louder, and then dimmed when the door was closed.
“You’re not still on about not seeing him, are you?”
“Yup.”
“See who?”
Just watch the movie would you? “Just shush Charlie. Watch the movie.”
“Come on Katiee, just come out and see him. Please?”
I looked up from under my fringe. I like my fringe. It just covers my right eye, goes to just above my chin. It’s really cool.
“Katiee are you listening? He’s right outside.”
“Who’s right outside? Who’s here to see her?”
“Katiee please.”
“I said no.”
Sarah stood for a few moments, and then I guess she gave up and went back to the hall.
I’m not seeing him. I’m not talking to him. I’m not gonna like him and I’m DEFINITELY NOT living with him!
That’s when the row started.
“What do you mean she doesn’t want to see me? I’m her father for crying out loud!”
My eyes automatically swivelled to the living room door. Charlie shifted uncomfortably beside me, I guess he knows now who the man is that was here to see me.
I could hear Malcolm mumbling something about “her own choice.”
“I don’t care! She’s my daughter and I want to take her home. I’m not leaving until I see her!”
Whoever the guy was, he could fairly shout. His voice sounds familiar. I just don’t know where from.
“Let me see her!”
Malcolm was mumbling again. Sarah came back into the living room.
“Katiee please. He is your father after all. Just come out and see him. You don’t even have to say anything to him. Just be there. He wants to see you, please.” She was begging me at this point, I could tell.
“I don’t want to,” I whispered. I don’t even know if they heard me.
I glanced up to see Charlie standing in front of me with his hand held out. “Come on, I’ll come with you.”
I smiled uneasily. I guess there is no way out of it. I f I don’t come out and see him, he’ll most likely bust his way through the TV room door to see me.
I took Charlie’s hand, his own clammy palm in mines, and we followed Sarah out of the living room and into the hallway. I could feel him in front of us, but I didn’t have the guts to look up. I could hear Charlie gasp beside me, and his grip on my hand tightened. I think I was kinda loosing circulation.
“There she is. Are you happy now? Katelyn dear? This is your father.”
I could hear him shuffle around on his feet. I looked at them; he was wearing beaten up navyblue chucks.
Converse? I don’t think that’s normal somehow.
Curiosity got the better of me I suppose. Mom always said I too nosy for my own good. So I began to look up, taking in each detail on my way. Black jeans, studded belt, dark t-shirt, leather jacket. This couldn’t be my father, he looks almost…cool?
I kept my eyes on his jacket, until I plucked up the courage to look at his face.
Dark brown or black hair, longish, bit curly. Or “windswept and interesting” as an old friend would say. [A.N. British Head & Shoulders advertisements xD love it.]
Bit of stubble.
Soft hazel eyes.
I remember those eyes.
It takes a minute of initial shock before I realise I know this guy.
Which is why next thing I saw was the entrance hall floor, before I blacked out.
“You’re father. He’s got in touch Katiee. He’s looking for you.”
They’re ringing in my ears. Why now? It’s been what? 14 years? Why couldn’t he come when I was younger, when I actually wanted him to? Not know.
“Katiee, you there? Hello?”
Huh? Oh right yeah, Sarah. Forgot she was here. Her mouths moving….oh right yeah she’s talking.
“Your dad. When you came here, Malcolm was looking around for foster families for you. And in your file, he came across your original birth certificate.”
“And that means what to me?”
“Well, you’re father’s name was on it. Malcolm took down the name and called some people and got a number. It took a while, but he talked to your dad, and he’s on his way to get you.”
“I don’t want him to.”
Sarah looked confused now, I mean I would be too, if a kid in care had told me she didn’t want to leave with her father. Sounds kinda kooky. Like a mental exam is needed. But meh that’s just me.
Oh wait; I’m the kid aren’t i?
“Why the hell is he coming here? I don’t want him here.”
“Don’t you want to leave? Go live with him? He doesn’t live that far away. Just in Newark actually.”
“You’re forgetting, I haven’t lived in Jersey long. I have no idea where Newark is.”
“It’s near enough.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“But, you won’t have to stay in Riverdale any longer?”
“I said no.”
“Katiee come on, just think about it. Do you not want to meet him or something? You have the chance to get to know him here.”
“I really don’t care Sarah.”
I stood up and pushed past her to get out into the hallway. Sarah followed me and called down to me, loud enough for most kids to hear, “Katiee please, he’s your father!”
“I couldn’t give a fuck! Tell him to piss off, because I don’t want to meet him!” I shouted back, before leaving her standing to go find Charlie in the TV room. Or so I thought anyway. Because she followed me to the staircase.
“I think you are gonna want to meet him.”
Grr…”And why do you say that then?”
“You’ll see. He’s on his way. He’ll be here in around an hour. Be ready eh?”
And then she walked on down the stairs, leaving me standing instead.
So, he’s really coming. The asshole is really coming, he’s actually on his way. I guess I can’t do anything about it now eh? Except maybe egg him when his car pulls in (good idea actually….hehehe.)
I’m gonna meet my father. In an hour. After 14 years.
I mean, I don’t even remember him? When I was younger, all I could remember when I thought back was singing. He sang to me. I remember music most of all. And warm hazel eyes. That’s about it.
Oh, and the way he held me. I can remember feeling safe. He’d rap his arms around my little body, holding me close and not letting go. I think that was my favourite place to be, in my father’s arms.
Before he left that is.
He’s just another fucking asshole who breaks his promises. I’ve had my own fair share of those and I don’t want him back to make and break more.
May as well look good for him though.
So that’s why I strolled back to my room. I pulled off my old jeans and squeezed myself into my favourite blue denim skinny jeans and slipped through a cube checker belt. Then I pulled on a My Chem skinny band tee and slipped on a pair of vans. Then I turned to my mirror. Backcombed my hair a bit more, some more hairspray. Thicker eyeliner.
I don’t really know why I’m doing myself up. He’ll probably have a heart attack. That’s a good thing though, coz then I wouldn’t have to live with him.
That’s my aim then, to give the bastard a heart attack; evil looks a plenty tonight then.
I’ve been told I look evil when I give people dirty looks. Fun!
“And I, JACK, the Pumpkin King…”
“Aww I love this movie! It’s mint!”
“Yeah I suppose.”
Charlie looked at me from the other side of the sofa, where he was curled up with the bag of skittles.
“What’s the matter? You love The Nightmare Before Christmas. There’s something wrong, you’re not singing along.”
That’s true. I’m always singing along. Not tonight though, I’m not in the mood. Charlie doesn’t know about my visitor yet, and i’m hoping I won’t have to tell him. That the dude will just take the hint and leave before Charlie notices anything. 5 minutes left roundabout. Biological father…meeting...5 minutes…coming here…Somehow the idea just doesn’t seem real. I mean, I’ve had a lot of “fathers” over the years. Pretty much whoever my mom brought home at night. It’s another reason why we moved around a lot. Because a lot of those fathers didn’t seem to take the hint when shesays said no. That’s in the past though.
“I’m fine.”
How could I be fine? I’m such a liar, but no-one ever notices when I lie. I’ve gotten good at it I suppose. Years of practice.
But he doesn’t believe me. Why should he? He said he can always tell when I’m lying about my feelings. Something about my eyes gives it away apparently. He’s the first to have noticed though. Thing is though, I’m not really sad, I’m confused.
Why would he want to come for me now?
“Katiee, there’s someone here for you,” Sarah calls from the entrance hall. It’s time then. He’s here. No more dodging it, or denying it.
Charlie never looked up, too engrossed by the movie. “Well go see who it is then you idiot.”
A few minutes of silence. I don’t know what to do! I can hear mutters in the hall.
“Katiee come on he’s here.”
At this Charlie looks over, “Who’s here then?”
Ahh… “No-one Charlie. Don’t worry. Just watch the movie.”
The door to the TV room opened and Sarah came through, the voices in the hall got momentary louder, and then dimmed when the door was closed.
“You’re not still on about not seeing him, are you?”
“Yup.”
“See who?”
Just watch the movie would you? “Just shush Charlie. Watch the movie.”
“Come on Katiee, just come out and see him. Please?”
I looked up from under my fringe. I like my fringe. It just covers my right eye, goes to just above my chin. It’s really cool.
“Katiee are you listening? He’s right outside.”
“Who’s right outside? Who’s here to see her?”
“Katiee please.”
“I said no.”
Sarah stood for a few moments, and then I guess she gave up and went back to the hall.
I’m not seeing him. I’m not talking to him. I’m not gonna like him and I’m DEFINITELY NOT living with him!
That’s when the row started.
“What do you mean she doesn’t want to see me? I’m her father for crying out loud!”
My eyes automatically swivelled to the living room door. Charlie shifted uncomfortably beside me, I guess he knows now who the man is that was here to see me.
I could hear Malcolm mumbling something about “her own choice.”
“I don’t care! She’s my daughter and I want to take her home. I’m not leaving until I see her!”
Whoever the guy was, he could fairly shout. His voice sounds familiar. I just don’t know where from.
“Let me see her!”
Malcolm was mumbling again. Sarah came back into the living room.
“Katiee please. He is your father after all. Just come out and see him. You don’t even have to say anything to him. Just be there. He wants to see you, please.” She was begging me at this point, I could tell.
“I don’t want to,” I whispered. I don’t even know if they heard me.
I glanced up to see Charlie standing in front of me with his hand held out. “Come on, I’ll come with you.”
I smiled uneasily. I guess there is no way out of it. I f I don’t come out and see him, he’ll most likely bust his way through the TV room door to see me.
I took Charlie’s hand, his own clammy palm in mines, and we followed Sarah out of the living room and into the hallway. I could feel him in front of us, but I didn’t have the guts to look up. I could hear Charlie gasp beside me, and his grip on my hand tightened. I think I was kinda loosing circulation.
“There she is. Are you happy now? Katelyn dear? This is your father.”
I could hear him shuffle around on his feet. I looked at them; he was wearing beaten up navyblue chucks.
Converse? I don’t think that’s normal somehow.
Curiosity got the better of me I suppose. Mom always said I too nosy for my own good. So I began to look up, taking in each detail on my way. Black jeans, studded belt, dark t-shirt, leather jacket. This couldn’t be my father, he looks almost…cool?
I kept my eyes on his jacket, until I plucked up the courage to look at his face.
Dark brown or black hair, longish, bit curly. Or “windswept and interesting” as an old friend would say. [A.N. British Head & Shoulders advertisements xD love it.]
Bit of stubble.
Soft hazel eyes.
I remember those eyes.
It takes a minute of initial shock before I realise I know this guy.
Which is why next thing I saw was the entrance hall floor, before I blacked out.