Back of Your Head

Andy Clemmensen lay on his bed in the three star hotel they had been allocated while on tour around Sydney. He stared at the ceiling; opting to count the tiles out of boredom. 2412. He counted again and again.

"Oh fuck, Shaun! Right there!"

Andy groaned and rolled onto his stomach: stifling the echoing moans from the room next door. It didn't stifle them completely.

"Jesus fucking Christ! You're fucking amazing! Keep going!"

The calls continued. Andy groaned and pulled the pillow tighter over his head. He considered suffocating himself, anything to not hear what he was hearing anymore. That would just be stupid. So what if Shaun was fucking some random chick in the room next door? It was he did; every night. So what if that stupid bitch was so loud that people in Melbourne could probably hear her? So what if Andy and his step brother were in the rooms either side of Shauns? Shaun knew his friends and band mates disapproved of his behaviour. But did he give a damn? Of course he fucking didn't.

"Oh yes! Shaun! Fuck me harder! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Andy had had enough. He sat up onto his knees, stood up on the bed and thumped his fist against the wall. The vibration and pounding shock even him.

"Enough already! For fucks sake, there's other people in this fucking hotel! Not everyone wants to hear you two fucking each other!" Andy screamed at the wall.

"Suck a fat one, Andy!" Shaun’s voice bitterly yelled back.

"I think that sluts doing a perfect job of that for me!"

Andy pounded his fist against the wall one more time before letting himself fall onto his back onto the bed. He was defeated; absolutely and completely defeated. The moaning continued next door.

"You're fucking insane!"

That was the girls voice again. What she said shocked Andy? Insane? What could he possibly be doing to her? He let his mind wander again. What would Shaun do to me in that situation? Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Andy rolled off his bed; pulling on a pair of tracksuit pants. He crossed the room and walked out. He had really had enough. He needed to talk to someone, tell someone about the feelings he was having. He needed someone to tell him they were wrong; what he was feeling wasn't normal. He needed someone to slap him across the face and tell him to get over it. It was essential. Who better to do that than his younger step brother?

He knocked on Bradie's door; nothing. He knocked again; still nothing. Bradie couldn't possibly be sleeping through what was going on. Andy turned the handle, finding it unlocked he let himself in. Andy saw Bradie's silhouette sit up on the bed.

"Who's there?" Bradie demanded in a stern tone. Andy shook his head. He knew his brother would have no chance in a fight against one of their female fans, let alone someone breaking into his hotel room.

"Chill dude," Andy said aloud. "It's just me."

Andy turned on the overhead light and saw Bradie pluck his head phones from his ears. He cringed.

"Are they still going at it?" Bradie asked putting his ipod down on the bedside table and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Andy moved to sit next to his brother.

"Yep, been doing this for the last 2 and a bit hours," Andy told Bradie sadly, sitting heavily.

"Fucking hell," Bradie shook his head; scratching at the birds nest of hair that had formed from lying on it. "So what's up Andy?"

"I need to talk to someone," Andy turned, pulling his legs up in front of him, crossing them. Bradie did the same, facing Andy. "It's about Shaun."

"Come on you big pussy! Just spin the damn thing," Shaun's voiced urged Andy from the opposite side of the circle.

Andy looked up at Shaun. He had a girl on either side of him. It was Bradie's 16th and Shaun had insisted on playing spin the bottle. Andy was 18 already, so he was the one pushed into supplying alcohol to Bradie and his underage friends. They hadn't know Shaun long, but he and Bradie were close friends by that stage. Their parents always told Andy and Bradie that Shaun was a bad influence on them. Andy could see the truth in this.

"Come on, Andy!" Bradie's voice urged him from somewhere to his right. "Spin!"

What if he landed on Bradie? What if he landed on someone he didn't know? His head was filled with unanswered what ifs that were driving him crazy. Andy took a deep breath and spun the bottle on the wooden floor boards of the Webb's basement. It spun fast. He lurched forward in anticipation of who it would land on. The knot in his stomach was huge; it churned nervously and the butterflies went nuts. The bottle started to slow and Andy's eyes grew wide. He looked up to find Shaun Diviney
smirking at him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't kiss Shaun. It was Shaun. He's a guy. He watched Shaun remove his arms from where they lay around the girls shoulders. Shaun moved to his knees and shuffled his way to the centre of the circle. Andy did the same; not looking up. His knee banged into Shaun's and he looked up; the butterflies had grown bat wings and were flying loops in his stomach.

"Relax," Shaun whispered. "And close your eyes."

Andy did what he was told. He felt Shaun brushed his finger tips across Andy's cheek; snaking his hand slowly around the back of Andy’s head. He moved them into Andy's dirty blonde hair and pulled the boys head to his. Shaun pressed his lips to Andy's. Andy's heart jumped to his throat. Shaun moved his other hand to the small of Andy's back keeping him from moving. Andy wrapped his arms around Shaun's neck. He felt Shaun's tongue begging for entry into his mouth; he obliged, separating
his lips slightly. Shaun's tongue entered Andy's mouth. Andy tasted the salty tang of the chips Shaun had been eating earlier as well as the bitterness of the six pack of beer Shaun had consumed. Andy allowed his tongue to rub against Shaun’s. Shaun smiled into the kiss before pulling away. He wiped him mouth free of the saliva that had built up on his lips.

"Not bad Clemmensen," Shaun shuffled his way back to sit down.

Andy felt a blush creep on to his cheeks. He was thankful for the darkness in the basement to say the very least.

"So, you're telling me you're into Shaun?" Bradie looked at his brother, bewilderment clouded his expression.

Andy looked up; noticing Bradie had back away from him slightly as he was telling his story. He nodded slowly.

"You're gay?" Bradie scratched his head again. This had floored him. Through all the flirting, he never saw this coming.

"Well, I don't know," Andy shrugged half heartedly.

"What do you mean, 'I don't know'?" Bradie suddenly felt uncomfortable. He stood up, standing over Andy. "You're into a guy. That makes you gay."

"Not exactly," Andy explained, not looking at Bradie. He moved, placing his feet on the floor. "There are still chicks I think are hot. So, I guess, if anything I'm bisexual."

"And you think that solves everything?" Bradies voice was raised slightly; Andy looked at his brother pained expression.

"There's nothing to solve," Andy sighed. "I'll just have to get over this shit with Shaun. I mean, listen to that. There's no way in all hell he feels the same way as me."

"You never know," Bradie said, sitting back down next to Andy. "He could have some hidden homosexual desires."

Andy looked at Bradie like what Bradie was saying was crazy. Shaun was the biggest flirt in the world; as well as a sex crazed maniac. Andy tried to block out the continuing grunts from next door.

"I highly doubt it."

Now it was Andy's turn to stand up. The noises next door subsided and the room was thrown into silence.

"You could always tell him," Bradie shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Um, hello Bradie?" Andy shook his head at Bradie’s naivety. "The friendship; the band? It'd be over and he'd hate me."

Bradie looked at the floor; not hating himself for what he suggested. They both listened to the murmured chatter next door. They heard some bustling, footsteps and then the hotel room door slamming shut.

"Well, that's..." Bradie started to say.

They were interrupted by some more bustling, a hotel room door opening and slamming again. They heard stomping and then banging on a door. The banging continued.

"Maybe I should..." Andy started this time.

"Just wait," Bradie told him, shaking his head.

The banging stopped. There was stomping again and then more banging. Bradie's door swung open. Shaun stood there; hair disheveled, t-shirt was a crinkled mess over his torso, jeans were on but not buttoned up. Andy looked at his face. He was pissed.

"How fucking dare you?!" Shaun shouted at his band mate and stormed across the room.