Stay With Me, Forever and Always

Shadows -- no, they were people. Sitting around a bonfire; words and laughter coincide. One figure stands out from the others: a brunette girl stares into the distance with a vacant expression.

"Hey, Peridot?"

"Yeah?" I responded, and turned to the speaker, Milana.

"You okay? You've been kinda... out of it today."

Ben threw his hot dog at Tristan, which started an all out war.

"I guess...." I replied. My thoughts swarmed around me, making reality hazy and unnatural-looking.

"Where do you want to go after this?" Michael asked quietly, so quietly I almost missed his words.

I stared into the distance, seeing but not really seeing. My mind took me back to another place, with a scene so similar to this one I had to really focus to see the differences between the two. My brain rushed a memory, one that was not too old and dusty, and my eyes projected it as if it were happening right in front of me. I saw myself, and.... and....

"Mom?" I whispered. "Dad?"

In my peripheral vision, I saw Milana and Michael look in the same direction I was, but I knew they'd never see what I was seeing.

They were smiling and laughing, appearing to have not a care in the world. They were cooking dinner together in a kitchen that was no more than a pile of ashes and dirt, blissfully unaware that their daughter was crying before them.

"Peridot! What's wrong?!" Milana exclaimed, alarm ringing through her voice. The rest of the group silenced and turned to look at me.

I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing myself to look away from the heart-warming and yet -crushing scene before me. As I looked Milana in the eye, I saw in my peripheral vision the memory blown away by a gust of wind. "I know where we're going from here." When no one said anything, I continued. "I want to go back to my old house."

The silence dragged on for minutes that felt like hours. Finally, Ben spoke up. "Don't you think she'll be waiting for you there?"

"I don't care." I said, a rough edge to my voice. "I have to go back. I have to --" A sob tore through by body. "I have to visit them one last time." I closed my eyes, reveling in the memory of their smiling, happy, carefree faces. When I opened them, my mind was set.

No one said anything, apprehension and fear present in their eyes. I got up and strolled to the edge of our makeshift camp, and stared up at a full moon. They appeared once more before me, in the midst of a food fight.

Peridot stared at the fluttering image before her. I could see them too, and also feel what she was feeling: anxiety in a torn heart.