Life to Live

He sat quietly at her tombstone, slow, silent tears cascading gently down his cheeks.

Why, why, why did I let her die? Why couldn’t I run fast enough to save her?

This same thought ran through his head a million times, blending into a monotonous mantra echoing in his mind. Tormenting him like it had been all this past year.

The bell in the tower near the cemetery began ringing, marking midnight. The witching hour – the moment at which her life had departed, her soul escaped the broken shell of a body. One year ago.

He raised his head, eyes closed. Remembering the moment, the blaring horn of the truck, the blinding headlights.

The sound of the impact, of steel tearing flesh crunching bones shattering a life.

And suddenly, she was with him.

For a single instant, he felt her arms about him, warm and safe, her lips at his ear, whispering:

“Don’t cry, don’t cry for me. It was painless. I didn’t suffer, I promise. Don’t mourn for me; you did all that you could.” The voice became fainter. “I am gone, but you still have your life ahead of you. Don’t waste it. Just always remember I am watching over you and I love you…”

The feel of her, with him, vanishes. He sat frozen, unmoving for a moment, before letting out a cry of frustration. Was he to have her for but a moment, before losing her again?

A sight flashes before his eyes. The love of his life as he’d never seen her before. A vision she was, in a splendid flowing white dress, soft long golden hair trailing down and framing her face, her face that was aglow with happiness. Bright blue eyes reflected this happiness tenfold.

And – most astonishing of all – two blindingly white wings behind her. Huge feathery wings the color of ivory, stunningly beautiful.

He reached his hand out towards her. He wanted to join this vision, to be with her, like that…

“No.” She gently pushed his hand away. “It is not your time yet.”

He wanted to cry. Would she deny him this? Would she deny him this Heaven, this wonderful spectacle which taunted his eyes? What he saw, but could not have.

“You will have this one day.” She smiled at him fondly. “But not yet. You must live out your life as it was meant to be lived.”

“But my life ended when yours did,” he whispered desperately. “My life is meaningless…”

“Meaningless?” She looked at him quietly. “Since when did any life have meaning?”

He shook his head, trying to keep his composure. Trying to keep the tears from bursting out in a torrent. “My life had meaning when you were with me. Now you are gone and I am slowly dying inside…”

She stared at him, silent for a moment, perhaps at a loss for words.

“I cannot live without you,” he pleaded. He fell on his knees. “Anything. I would do anything to join you.”

“Anything?” Her eyes searched his, eyes like piercing knives. Not cruel, but oh so sharp.

He nodded, swallowing. Was this possibly his chance?

She sighed and closed her eyes. “There is a way.”

He smiled broadly. Happiness flooded his soul like it hadn’t done since before she died. “There is a way?”

She nodded, pain twisting her features like a mask. A mask he’d never seen her wear before.

“I must warn you now, it is very dangerous and painful. And it involves giving up your life.”

He shook his head. “Anything, I said. The danger is worth it. If I turned down this chance I would be a madman. I would go mad and kill myself, which I have been restraining against since the moment you died.”

She shook her head sadly. “I must leave you now. Another angel will guide you…”

As she spoke these words, her voice was growing faint. The image dissolved and he found himself, once again, in the empty graveyard, surrounded by silence and dust.

There was a whispering sound. He turned his head and saw a cloaked stranger beckoning to him at the gate.

Even at this distance, he could see the faintest outline of wings protruding from his back, like a light shimmer in the darkness.

He stood up from beside her grave, walking towards the stranger. He absolutely had to succeed, had to go through whatever obstacles, whatever he had to do to be with her again, in that Heaven…