Life to Live

Under normal circumstances, Solaire would have tripped and fallen as he flew forward, but he easily caught his balance. Too easily. But these were not normal circumstances. He was a ghost, spirit, something that had a mind but no body.

He straightened up and glanced about the room. Aline was still sleeping in her bed, her chest moving up and down slowly with each rattling breath.

Solaire, now sure no one could hear him anymore, began cursing furiously under his breath, trying not to let tears burst out of his eyes. How could he lose Arianne again? How could he do such a thing?

“Why, why, why did I have a chance but lose it?” he whispered. “What did I do wrong? Janus tried to get me to kill Aline, I almost did but stopped, and Arianne showed up to kill me herself!”

Which reminded him. He was dead now. No longer part of the living world but still able to wander it, apparently. And after everything that happened, he couldn’t really be bothered to be panicked about it.

He glanced down at himself. Was he much changed by his lack of a body? He was now a ghost, of sorts. Did that mean he could walk through walls?

Solaire looked at the wall beside him. Dare he try it?

Was he just imagining all this and sleeping in the cemetery, hallucinating from an overload of grief by Arianne’s death?

No. That couldn’t be. His imagination was not that creative.

So what had happened?

Solaire reached a hand up and touched the wall hesitantly. He pressed his palm against it, fingers splayed out.

Nothing happened. That is, nothing that had never had before. His hand rested on the solid wall, clearly unable to go through it in any way. Apparently the laws of the physical world still applied to him, even though he wasn’t really part of it.

Then what am I?

Solaire sighed disconsolately. He left the room of the sleeping Aline, glancing back once at her to see her still breathing in and out deeply.

But for how long?

As he stood outside the room, wondering what to do next, a tiny light floated in his direction, from the hallway where Adelaide slept. He paid little attention to it at first, thinking it to be some sort of firefly or other insect.

It did catch his attention when the pinprick of light grew and transformed into a glowing person.

“What the–” Solaire just barely managed to keep a curse word from coming in amazement, staring at this new spectacle. He wondered, was this a message from Arianne? Maybe all wasn’t lost, maybe she’d heard his voice and sent this child after him!

The light dimmed slowly, revealing a teenage boy, not much older than Aline, with soft black hair that spilled about his face, framing it neatly. Long silk violet robes adorned his body and a huge pair of white wings swung out from behind him. He looked up at Solaire, who was staring at him in a vague fascination. He looked slightly familiar…

The boy gazed back at him a long moment, regarding him solemnly with light brown eyes.

For a time the pair simply stood opposite one another, gaping back and forth. A staring contest.

Finally, the boy broke the long silence. “I am Deus,” he said.

Solaire blinked. “Ah, hello, Deus,” he said uncertainly, not expecting such straightforwardness coming from this young child. “My name is Solaire. Nice to meet you,” he added, not quite sure how to act with this strange angel child who had suddenly appeared before him.

“Solaire,” Deus repeated, a smile curving his lips slightly. “Child of the sun.”

“Yes,” Solaire answered, startled that the child knew what his name meant. “Are you…from Arianne?” he asked hesitantly.

Deus shook his head. “Our Holy One barely knows you are here, and she cannot come back here.”

The young man closed his eyes for a moment, controlling the urge to burst into tears. “Then why are you here?” he asked, in a remarkably steady voice.

“I am here,” Deus replied, “for an entirely different purpose.” He nodded his head at Aline's door. “Do you know my relation to that child?”

Solaire shook his head. He’d gotten some inkling of shared blood between Deus and Aline, but he was unsure of what it was. “Brother?” he suggested. Maybe the poor Adelaide had lost another child before Aline?

“No,” said Deus. “I am her uncle.”