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As it seemed to happen every time I visited Edmonton, it didn't take me long to remember why I left. At the very least, I was reminded of why I had moved out of my parents' house.

"Don't you ever want to get married?" Mom asked me in a soft voice as I helped her prepare dinner on our second night there. Josh was watching TV with my dad in the next room, and she was trying not to let him overhear her.

"Someday, I guess."

"But the two of you have been together for awhile," she persisted. "Aren't you going to make it official? Don't try and pull the wool over my eyes, Becky. I know that the two of you are... intimate," she used the word carefully, as if she were afraid that it would upset me. "Do you want to live in sin forever?"

Despite the potentially awkward feel of the conversation, I started to laugh. "Mom, I think sinning is the least of my worries right now. Since when does it bother you?"

She sighed. "It was a figure of speech."

"I didn't mean the sinning," I laughed. "I meant marriage."

"It doesn't bother me, Becky. I just think that you would be happier if you got to start a family. You're not getting any younger."

I held up a hand to silence her. "I swear Mom, if you say one word about my biological clock, I'm leaving. Just because you're impatient for grandchildren, that doesn't mean that I'm ready to be a mother yet."

Mom sighed. "Are you ever going to go back to school? Are you really planning on being a waitress for the rest of your life?"

I stirred a pot on the stove. "You know that I don't want to do it forever. But for now, I don't mind it. My boss is one of my best friends, and it's easy work. It's steady money, and I can take time off whenever I want. It works for me."

"And what about Matt and Josh? Is this rock star thing going to go on forever?"

"Yeah," I smiled a bit. "It's forever. Well, for as long as they can possibly keep doing it."

"I can see that you're still okay with it."

I nodded feverishly. "I have my insecure moments, but I want Josh to be able to do what he loves. If that means that he's gone for months at a time, then that's fine. As long as I'm still the one that he wants to see as soon as he gets home, then I have no problem with it."

"How's Matt? I haven't talked to him in far too long."

"Matt is..." I hesitated briefly. "He's great."

"Why did you pause? What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing's wrong with him, Mom," I put a lid on the pot and began tearing lettuce for a salad. "He's just with a girl that I don't care for. I want him to find someone that's worthy of him, and I just can't get past the feeling that she isn't."

Mom gave me one of those knowing looks that all mothers seem to have mastered. "You have a bit of a short memory, don't you?"

I threw the lettuce into a colander in the sink and began to rinse it. "What are you talking about?"

"It wasn't all that long ago that Matt felt that way about you."

I raised an eyebrow, turning off the tap so that I could hear her better. "I'm lost here, Mom. The last guy I dated was Matt. I doubt that he thought that about himself."

Mom sighed in exasperation and set down the knife in her hands. "I'm not talking about Matt, I'm talking about Josh. Matt tried to warn you about him, didn't he? And did you listen?"

"That was different," I said defensively, feeling myself grow rigid at the memory. "I was in love with Josh. Matt told me himself that he's looking for someone to take Shannon's place. He's not serious about her."

"Maybe he is, but he's too scared to tell you. Things got pretty rough between you two the last time. Now that you're living together, do you really think that he wants to put that strain back on your relationship?"

I scowled. I hated it when she was right. Mom knew how precious Matt was to me, and she knew that he felt the same way about me. Now that she had brought it to my attention, it made perfect sense. I resumed washing the lettuce in silence.

"Becky, I know that you aren't happy with his choices right now, but if it's really a bad idea he'll come to his senses. He's a smart boy."

I dumped some peppers into the salad. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you ladies need any help in here?" Josh asked, leaning against the door frame. He pulled his hands from the pockets of his red hoodie and walked swiftly across the room. He stayed a safe distance away, resting a hand gently against the small of my back. He was still extremely cautious about the way he treated me in front of my mother. Josh may have become exceptionally friendly with Dad, but he still had his suspicions that Mom didn't approve of him.

I flashed him a smile. "We're just putting the finishing touches on the salad. It's almost done; you'll get to eat soon."

"Are you sure that there's nothing I can do? It all smells so good," he peered into a pot on the stove.

"No, it's all under control. You can go hang out with Dad some more. I promise that I'll call you when it's ready."

Josh turned back to me and gazed at me meaningfully. He had clearly picked up on the tension in the room. I shook my head slightly; it was really nothing for him to worry about. He already knew how I felt about Matt dating Shannon, and I didn't want to exhaust the topic any more than I already had.

"You're sure?" He glanced from me to my mother, and then to the salad bowl in front of me.

"Positive. Actually, if you want to do something useful, you can go on the computer and check the movie times. Markie asked us to go to one with her and Ian, remember? She wants to see that new Will Ferrel one."

Josh nodded, but his eyes were immersed in shadow. "Right. I'm already getting confused. Can't we give the guy a nickname? He's just not Ian to me."

I laughed airily. "Believe it or not, your drummer isn't the only person in the world with that name. It's not like I didn't want to acknowledge you as Josh just because I'd met another one before I knew you."

Josh shrugged and left the room, shaking his head a bit. I smiled after him before I took the remaining lettuce and returned it to the refrigerator. Mom was watching me closely when I turned around.

"What?" I asked, bringing a hand up to my cheek. "Is there something on my face?"

Her eyes were sparkling with a smile. "You really love him, don't you?"

"You know I do."

"Yeah, I knew it, but I never really took the time to notice before. I still had this crazy idea that something was going to go wrong again, and maybe you would come home to me. It's still hard for me to go so long without seeing you, Becky. You're still my baby, even if you're all grown up. I want you to have a family of your own one day, yes, but I still want to be involved in your life. I see now that you're not going to be coming home. This isn't even home to you anymore. Your home is wherever he is."

I leaned against the counter behind me and crossed my arms, thinking over her words. "That's true, I guess. But I'm a big girl now. If something were to happen and Josh and I split up, I still don't think that this would be home to me. I don't even live with Josh, in case you've forgotten. Home is the place that I feel loved and where I want to rest my head every night. I spend a lot of time at Josh's apartment, but my home is still with Matt. And I know that he would still want me there if Josh and I broke up."

Mom's grin grew and became triumphant. "And you still want him there even though he's with this other girl, right? He's still your Matt, Becky. He'll always be that boy for you."

I dropped my arms and stood up straight. "Why must you be right all the time? You've proved your point." I walked out of the room.

"We can probably catch the show at seven forty-five," Josh said promptly as I approached him. "If we miss that one, we have to wait until nine twenty for the next showing. Unless there's another theatre around here. I'm just looking at the one that you took me to last time we were here."

"You know what? Screw the movie."

He spun around in the desk chair, raising his eyebrows at me. "Excuse me? Since when are you not up for a completely retarded comedy that makes absolutely no sense?"

I leaned forward and placed my hands on either side of his face. "Ian bothers you, and I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Being in this house is bad enough. So we can do whatever you want tonight. I can deal with Markie; she'll understand if I explain it to her."

"But I kind of want to see that movie."

"We can still go, if that's what you want."

"But you have to either sit on the end, or sit between me and Markie, okay?" He clarified. "I don't even want the possibility of him touching you. No reaching for the popcorn at the same time, got it?"

I giggled at his absurd fear. I pecked him once on the lips and released him. "Got it. Tomorrow I'll get a tattoo that says Property of Josh Ramsay so that no one will ever doubt it."

He rolled his eyes. "That's not quite what I meant. I just don't like the idea of someone being skeevy enough to date your friend to get to you. And I don't like the way he looks at you. It's unsettling."

"You have nothing to worry about. I hardly miss him at all."

"You still miss him after all this time?!" Josh's voice was multiple octaves too high in his outraged disbelief.

"No. The only boys that I ever really miss are you and Matt. Ah, Matt," I paused to stare off into nothingness. "How I wish that he was here."

"I hate you right now."

"Dinner is ready!" Mom called from within the kitchen.

"Come on," I grabbed Josh's wrists and heaved him to his feet. "Mom makes the best pork chops in the world!"

He followed me eagerly. "If they taste as good as they smell, I might have to move in here."

"I sincerely hope you're joking. I've already told Mom that I'm not moving back in, and I'm not going back on my word."