Shiny Celebrity Skin

Josh led the way into his apartment. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, but I had learned that Josh's surprises weren't always obvious. I tossed my jacket over the back of a kitchen chair.

"Alright, what is it this time? A cruise around the world? A train ride through the mountains? Or have you finally found out where you can buy a fully-functioning jet pack?"

He cocked his head to one side. "Do people still ride trains?"

"I feel like you would make it happen, Josh."

He smiled. "I'm glad that you have so much faith in me. But there are no trips this time. We just got back from Edmonton; I figured that you should probably stick around for awhile. Plus, I'm focusing on getting some writing done."

I fought to keep my face from falling into a pout. "Right."

Josh took my hand and led me down the hall toward his bedroom. He pushed me down onto the edge of his mattress and gave me a happy grin. "I'm hoping that this might make the transition easier for you. I know that sometimes it's hard for you to deal with us being gone all the time. I have something for you that might give you an insight as to where my head is at while I'm gone."

I raised my eyebrows, intrigued. "And what might that be?"

He picked up his acoustic guitar and sat down next to me. My breath caught as I realized that he had written me another song. He started plucking out a beautiful tune.

"This is just the acoustic version," he explained as he continued to flawlessly play the notes. "It'll be a relatively fast song when the rest of the band is involved."

I couldn't find a voice to reply before he began to sing.

"So here's another day
I'll spend away from you
Another night I'm on another broken avenue
My bag is ripped and worn
Then again now so am I
Take what you want to take
What you wanna take
What you..
I miss the stupid things
We'd go to sleep and then
You'd wake me up and kick me out of bed at 3 AM
Pick up the phone and hear you saying dirty things to me
Do what you wanna do
What you wanna do
What you..

Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me home
I don't wanna be alone tonight

And I do want to show you
I will run to you to you till I
Can't stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die
Cross my heart and hope to die
Cross my heart and hope to..

Hotels are all the same
You're still away from me
Another day
Another dollar that I'll never see
Can I get a piece
Of the piece of the
Piece of something good
Lie just a little lie
Just a little lie
Just a..
I wonder what your doing
I wonder if you doubt it
I wonder how we ever used to go so long without it
I don't know where to go
I'm going back to you
Be where I ought to be
Where I ought to be
Where I..

Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me home
I don't wanna be alone tonight

And I do want to show you
I will run to you to you till I
Can't stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die

Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you
Take me with you
I start to miss you

Take me Home
I don't wanna be alone tonight

And I do want to show you
I will run to you to you till I
Can't stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die

And I do want to show you
I will run to you to you till I
Can't stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die

And I do want to show you
I will run to you to you till I
Can't stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die

And I do want to show you
I will run to you to you till I
Can't stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die"

I was stunned. I sat there wordlessly for a long moment, gaping at him like an idiot. "That's for me?" I whispered softly.

"Who else?"

"Oh, Josh," I whispered. "Thank you."

He smiled proudly. "I thought you would like it."

I placed my hands on either side of his face and kissed him sweetly. When I pulled away, he looked smug. I couldn't even find it in me to tease him about being full of himself. My eyes were full of tears, and when I tried to blink them back they spilled over.

"Are you okay?" His tone was lighthearted and joking.

"Push broke my heart, you know," I said. "This one changes everything. I'm sorry for ever getting jealous over stupid girls. Deep down I knew all along that it was silly of me."

"Push wasn't ever meant to break your heart. It was an apology. But Cross My Heart isn't like that. It's simply a song to remind you that I'm always thinking about you. Even when you think that I'm too focused on life on the road."

I grinned suddenly. "I thought you said I was being greedy when I asked for a new song."

"You were," he shot back. "But I didn't write this because you asked for it. I wrote it because you were having a rough time, and I felt like you should have a reminder that you've always got me. No matter what."

"I always knew that, Josh."

"Maybe, but now you'll never forget."

He set the guitar aside and I pulled him into an embrace so tight that I was crushing the air from his lungs. My tears had returned. Josh waited patiently for me to calm down, and when I looked at him next I was breathing normally again.

"You mean everything to me," I told him sincerely.

"Even more than Matt?"

"Don't tell him," I murmured in a low voice, as if I were sharing a scandalous secret. "It'll break his heart." We both laughed, knowing full well that if Matt had asked me that very same question about Josh, I would have answered in the exact same way. I could never admit to loving one more than the other. They both knew that they had no competition for their roles in my life.

"Have you given any more thought to your Christmas present?" Josh asked, sounding a bit timid.

In truth, I had been considering it a great deal over the past few days. Since Shannon seemed to be completely out of the picture, it seemed safe for me to move out. And the band was gaining fans and success; Matt wouldn't have such a hard time paying the rent on his own anymore. There really seemed to be no reason for me to avoid moving in with Josh any longer.

"What if you hate me when I live here? I have some really annoying habits." It was a fear that had been lurking in my mind for months. I didn't want anything to drive a wedge between us if we lived together.

"Like what?" Josh challenged, meeting my cautious eyes with his confident stare. "The way that you do my grocery shopping and pick up after me? How will I ever survive?"

I rolled my eyes. "I meant more like the way that I sing in the shower. Or the way that I get frustrated and give up halfway through doing puzzles. Or the way that I talk to myself when I'm looking for something that I can't find. I get moody, and I only listen when I want to. Why would you want to live with someone like that?"

"I won't be the only one singing in the shower anymore," he said, as if that made my argument nonexistent. "I hate puzzles. And I love it when you can have an entire conversation without me. I never have to deal with awkward silences. And I get moody, too. I'm a real bitch sometimes. And half the time I won't even be here for you to ignore me. You always listen when we're on the phone. Unless something good is on TV. I can handle that."

I stared at him in awe. "If I live to be a million years old, I will never understand how I got so lucky. How did I ever end up with you."

I was expecting Josh to make a witty comment, but instead he was genuine. "You stood by me when the rest of the world was ready to cast me aside. You inspired me to go on. And you still do. Every single day. I love you, Becky."

My bottom lip quivered slightly, but I refused to cry again. "I'll break the news to Matt tomorrow. I'll stay there until he finds a replacement. Or until he decides that he wants to live alone. And then I'll move in with you."

He gave me a triumphant smile. "I knew you couldn't say no after you heard that song."

"You cheated."

"I did not!" He replied indignantly. "I gave you a nice present!"

"With false intentions!"

He tackled me, causing me to fall across his mattress. He balanced his weight on his hands and knees and hovered above me, his lips almost touching my own. "If I had false intentions, I probably would have chosen to get you in this position. I knew that you would move in with me eventually, but I wasn't completely sure that I would get any action tonight," his smiled, and his entire presence radiated with his glee.

I leaned up and kissed him quickly. "You knew damn well that I would give in to both."

"Well, I was kind of hoping."

"I love you, Josh."

"For your sake, I sure hope so. Because you're stuck with me forever now."