Shiny Celebrity Skin

"Matt?" I called, walking into the apartment and dropping my keys onto the end table. There was no reply. I shed my sweater and tossed it across the back of a chair, then headed into the kitchen. I went straight for the fridge and reached for a bottle of beer.

"Whoa, Becky, nice bum. Have you been working out?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Steve, I have. Thanks for noticing. Me and Josh just had some wild and crazy sex, and I really feel like I got my glutes in shape."

I cracked the cap off of the bottle and tossed it into the trash. Steve was smiling at me like an idiot. He leaned against the counter and raised his eyebrows. I felt like I was missing something.

"What?" I asked, taking a swig of my beer and then reaching up to see if I had anything on my face.

"Why are you here, Becky?"

I looked around the room, wondering where Matt was. Steve's question made no sense, and I was even more confused than I had been moments before. "Is this a trick? I live here, Steve. What are you doing here?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he laughed at me. "I meant that you're drinking my beer."

I held up the bottle and pretended to appraise it under the fluorescent kitchen lights. "Am I? Well thanks for the beer, then."

He reached past me and took two more bottles from the fridge. "We're watching darts on TV. Want to join us?"

The idea of watching darts was almost vomit-enducing. There was nothing more agonizing than sitting through a few hours of grown men tossing tiny pointed pieces of metal at a coloured corkboard. Why would they even put it on television? Did they really get enough ratings to make it worthwhile? Regardless, I agreed. I had nothing better to do.

I sat down on the couch next to Matt, who was so intensely focused on the TV that he didn't even notice me. "Do they ever miss the board entirely?"

Matt looked over, startled by the sound of my voice. "Oh, hey Beck. How's Josh?"

"I assume he's doing good," I smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm watching darts," his tone told me that he was far more interested in it than I ever could be. "That means that I'm great."

"There is something seriously wrong with you."

"Would you rather watch billiards?" Steve suggested. "I think they're on tonight, too."

"I would rather watch paint dry," I retorted. "So, yes, billiards are better."

Steve reached for the remote, but Matt snatched it away and shoved it into the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie. He gave me a mischeivous grin and wiggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"Really, Matt? You think that will keep me from getting the remote? You're getting sloppy in your old age."

"I'm still just as crafty as I ever was."

I dove toward him unexpectedly, tackling him back against the arm rest of the couch. After a moment of tousling, I pulled back and waved the remote tauntingly in front of him.

"And this is just proof that you were never very crafty at all."

Steve laughed loudly. "You know, Becky, Matt's craftiness is a matter of perspective. You say that he failed, but I say that he just got a good looking girl to feel him up."

Matt winked at me. I shook my head and tried not to smile as I began channel surfing. I had wanted to talk to Matt about my decision to move in with Josh, but suddenly it didn't seem important. I was really going to miss all of the stupid little things that we did together at home. But, as much as I hated the idea, we were growing up. We were going to have to go our seperate ways eventually. Now was as good a time as any. I just hoped that he would see it the same way that I did.

Once I had flipped through every station and found nothing else on, I gave Matt back the remote. "Darts it is, I guess."

Matt gave me a grin that clearly stated he had won. I didn't feel like fighting him on his victory, so I simply ruffled his hair and finished my beer. I got to my feet, and both Matt and Steve looked offended.

"I'll put it on golf if you want," Matt offered. "You don't have to run away."

I laughed. "Golf? That's your compromise? I will play golf with you any day, but you couldn't pay me to watch it on TV. And I'll only play it if I'm allowed to drink. Deal?"

"You know, Becky, I'm starting to think that you and I aren't good together," Steve said. "You're far too picky."

I rolled my eyes. "Gee, Steve, I don't know how I will get by now that you're over me. Good thing I have a boyfriend who neither watches nor plays sports. It means that there will always be a place for you two idiots in my life. I need someone who will watch hockey with me. But only hockey. No sneaking stupid soccer or baseball in there, Matt. I'm on to you."

"Yeah, yeah," Matt waved me off and refocused on the television screen. "I remember, Beck. You're prejudiced against all sports except for hockey and snowboarding. And ice dancing, for some weird reason."

I snorted. "They're so graceful!" I pretended to gush. Shaking my head at him, I headed for the hallway. "I'm sure I'll come back out here later. I only have a couple of new CDs to keep me occupied."

"I should actually be going," Steve stood up and set his empty beer bottle on the coffee table. "I have a date in an hour."

I stopped and turned to him with my eyebrows raised. "You had to come here and drink before going on a date? I'm scared to ask what this girl is like."

He winked at me. "She's a lot like you, actually."

I laughed appreciatively. "Good one."

Steve waved at Matt and I, then threw on his jacket and headed for the door. As soon as I heard it close behind him, I bounded back to the couch and plopped myself back down next to Matt. I looked up at him with wide, unblinking eyes. I hoped that it would give the illusion that I was innocent, but I was almost positive that it probably seemed creepy. Matt seemed to be avoiding looking directly at me; he had to have known that something was up.

"What is it?" he asked finally.

"I love you, Matt," I said sweetly.

He sighed and tossed the remote onto the coffee table, where it landed with a loud clacking sound. Matt turned to me and ran a hand through his hair. I noticed then that he needed to get it cut. Even for Matt, it was getting pretty long.

"Beck, what do you need to tell me?"

"You aren't even going to say that you love me too?"

"Fine. I love you. Now what are you doing that's going to hurt me?"

I froze, taken aback. I gaped at him in sudden horror. "Do I hurt you?"

Matt's eyes widened as he realized what he had said. He put his hands gently on my shoulders and rushed to cover his words. "No, no, that's not what I meant. We're good, Becky. We have been for a long time. Don't read into things so much. You know that I talk out of my ass all the time."

I cleared my throat. I had known what he meant, but his choice of words had scared me. I was worried about how he would react to my decision, and he only exacerbated my fear. Slowly I nodded my head. "I know. Sorry. I just... this is kind of big, Matt."

"You're moving out?" He guessed.

I nodded again. "Yeah. But I'm staying until you find a replacement for me. I'm sorry, Matt."

To my delight, he started laughing. "Beck, we both knew that this was coming. Hell, I thought you would have been engaged and gone months ago. It's really okay. I'll be fine. You'll still live close by, and you said yourself that you need me to watch hockey with you. Nothing has to change."

"Promise?"

He was still grinning, but now I was sure that he was trying not to laugh at my childish need for reassurance. "I promise. You'll still be my best friend."

I reached up and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. For everything."

Matt hugged me back. "Stop making it sound like this will be goodbye forever. If you keep talking like that, I'll never find another roommate so that you can never leave."

I laughed lightly, feeling my mood lift. "What a shame that would be."

Matt suddenly pulled back, eyeing me suspiciously. "Why do you make it seem like you're not one hundred percent happy with this decision? You're doing this for yourself, right?"

"Yes," I told him, hoping that my tone was as confident as I wanted it to be. "I made this choice on my own. It's just that... I don't really know how to live with anyone but you. I've been back in Vancouver for almost two years, and I've never had any desire to live on my own or with anyone but you. It's just going to be really weird not to be able to run across the hall and see you. And you know that I never call as often as I should. I hate talking on the phone. It just scares me a little to be changing something so big in my life. This is my home."

Matt was smiling the entire time that I was talking. "This was a temporary home. You always knew that you wouldn't stay here forever. I mean, I won't even stay here forever. But just because the location was temporary, that doesn't mean that everything else was. I hate the phone almost as much as you do. It's only en enemy because we all have to depend on it for entire tours. So we'll visit face to face instead, okay? So what if you live somewhere else? You'll be with Josh, and you know that I hang out with him from time to time. I'll see you so often that you'll get sick of me. And, come on Beck, we all knew that it was going to end up this way. Even when it wasn't supposed to, we knew that it had to."

I gave him a watery smile. "Thanks."

"Yeah, well, if I'm good for anything it's knowing how to make you feel better."

"I'll tell Josh to go to you for advice," I joked.

Matt pulled me into a warm, safe embrace once more. I held on for a bit longer than usual. It felt almost symbolic when, at the same moment, we both let go.