The Sunrise of My Heart

As the week passed by in a sort of blur, I began to feel this sort of clenching in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling, it was just strange. It was like my whole abdomen would just tighten, almost like I was intensely excited or frightened. Funny how those two emotions were very similar.
I also became aware of a subtle change in Draco. Day by day, he seemed to become a little more upset. He tried to hide it, of course, but I could tell. He would eat a little less, zone out a little more, and he didn't appear to be sleeping very well. He was also very determined not to talk about it.
"You okay?" I asked him Friday morning as we walked to breakfast.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, although he didn't quite look at me.
"I don't know. You just seem a bit...off."
"I'm fine," he answered. Still not looking at me.
I sighed and stepped in front of him, gazing into his eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Riley, I am fine. I'm just... Preoccupied with our work load. Snape really loves giving homework, doesn't he?" Without waiting for a response, he stepped around me and continued walking to the Great Hall.
I bit my lip, 100% sure he was lying to me. But pressing Draco to talk about his inner secrets was like demanding a wall to sing Italian. You would walk away very disappointed. With a soft sigh, a hurried to catch up with him.
"You know if you ever need to talk, I'll listen, right? Without judgement."
"Good to know," he said offhandedly, glancing at me. His expression was one of carelessness, but I noticed a sort of softness in his eyes.
"So," I said cheerfully, changing the subject, "I was thinking you could meet Aunt Iris some time soon. Maybe over the Easter break or something."
The look he gave me let me know he wasn't too eager about the idea. "I'm not very good at meeting relatives. Particularly relatives who don't like my parents and everything that they stand for."
"Aunt Iris is cool, though. She won't judge you. She's also given up magic, so she can't even hex you if she decides you're an insufferable prat."
"She gave up her magic?!" he asked, looking at me in shock.
"It's a long story," I answered. "I'm working on changing her mind. But back to my point. What do you think? Will you meet her?"
He frowned at me. "I'll consider it," he finally conceded.
I beamed and kissed him lightly. "Wonderful."
We made it to the Slytherin table at the Great Hall, sitting down across from Blaise. He still did not like me but ever since I had gotten Draco to sit at the Gryffindor table (even for just a few seconds), he had a level of respect for me. Not because he was into house mingling and status equality, he was definitely pro-pure blood, but because I had gotten Draco to do something shocking that he would never ever have done without me. I had managed to do the impossible, and Blaise respected that.
"Good morning," he said when we sat down. I would have been surprised that he had talked first, but I was too cautious. He never spoke to me, and the tone in his voice wasn't cheerful. It was more....smug.
"Morning," I said suspiciously.
"Tell me, what do you know of the Whore of Hogwarts?" he asked, staring at me.
I had been reaching for some pumpkin juice, but at his words, my hand froze. "The who?" I asked innocently.
"The Whore of Hogwarts. She's a woman spoken of in rumors and myth. They say she is the reason Slytherin grew to hate the rest of the world, especially those that Gryffindor favored. It is rumored that she is the reason Slytherin house is full of the prejudiced and the purebloods. Because she made him hate everyone else and only want the worthy to be in his house."
"Um," I said. "Can't say I've heard of her."
"Where did you hear these rumors?" Draco asked Blaise.
"I read them in a book in the restricted section of the library. It's very old, and I couldn't find anything new about her, so either people stopped believing the rumors, or they just stopped caring."
"It's probably all just folk lore. I mean, can you imagine Slytherin hating the world just because of one woman?"
"Well, if you do enough digging, you can discover that he had a wife. A woman named Cassandra who betrayed him by sleeping with Godric Gryffindor. Can you imagine? She had the great Salazar Slytherin as her husband, but she couldn't resist the temptation of sleeping with Gryffindor because he was an adventure. No wonder they call her a whore. She betrayed the man she loved for a quick shag with his enemy." He sneered, like the thought of Cassandra wanting to sleep with Godric was simply comical.
"Okay, first of all, she wasn't in love with Slytherin. It was an arranged marriage, and he was older than her. Second of all, she didn't sleep with Godric just because it was an adventure. She fell in love with him. And it wasn't just a quick shag. It was an actual relationship conducted in secret."
Blaise looked at me with one eyebrow raised. "And how would you know that?" he asked, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Well, I-- Shit," I said, rolling my eyes. "Walked right into your little trap. Congratulations on being too damn smart for my own good."
"So, what does the Whore of Hogwarts have to say for herself?"
Draco gave Blaise an icy glare. "Stop calling her that."
I smiled, glad he was protecting my honor. "I say, what Salazar did to me is far worse than what I did to him. My curse is eternal. His was only during that one life time."
"You call cheating death a curse?" He looked at me like I was stupid.
"Yes," I answered firmly. "That's what it is. Salazar knew this fate would be the worst possible hell to put me through. That's why he did it. Because I put him through hell first."
"How is it hell?" Blaise asked mockingly, looking on the verge of sneering at me.
"I will die young. Most likely before I reach twenty-five. For all of eternity. I reawaken in a new body, but I bear the same soul and memories. I make attachments and then I die. Over and over and over."
"Hmm," he said, looking bored. "I suppose I can see how that would bother you some." Despite his manner, I thought I noticed just a tiny hint of pity in his eyes for the briefest moment. So maybe he wasn't completely heartless after all.
Breakfast ended then, so we all got up and headed out of the Great Hall. Blaise, apparently done talking to me, walked ahead of me and Draco. Just as well. Talking to him had been weird. He was usually quiet, preferring to observe instead of participate. Probably so he could gain useful information and file it away for later use. Classes were mostly boring (I mean, come on. I've heard most of these lessons at least a dozen times) but at least it was Friday, so the weekend was practically upon us.
"You know who Blaise reminds me of?" I said to Draco when the day was finally over and we were relaxing in the Slytherin common room. He was in an arm chair, I was in his lap.
"Someone long dead, probably," Draco answered, eliciting a small chuckle from me.
"Well, not exactly. He just reminds me of the Blacks. All of them combined, minus your fucking psycho aunt."
"Riley," he warned. "If I'm not allowed to badmouth your little creatures--"
"Friends, Draco. They're called friends."
"--then you can't badmouth my family," he finished as if I hadn't interrupted him.
"Okay, I will avoid talking bad about your mom and your asshole father, but Bellatrix did kill my ex husband. I think that gives me special bitching rights."
He frowned, thinking that over. "It's really weird to think of that old man as your ex husband," he said. "But I suppose you're right. You can bitch about her. Some."
I smiled. "Thanks. Because, seriously, one of these days I'm gonna light her hair on fire."
He chuckled, the sound vibrating through me because I was leaning against him. "She might enjoy that, actually. She is a bit odd."
"That's one way of putting it," I said.
"I would ask how you would put it, but I'm not sure I want to know."
"Probably not," I agreed.
"And why does Blaise remind you of the Blacks?" Draco asked, bringing me back to my original point.
"Oh, right. Well, just how he acts. He's intelligent, clever, totally prejudiced, but too careful to actually pick a side in this war. So no matter who wins, he'll be on good terms with the victor. And the Blacks were like that. Well, some of them. Admittedly, quite a few of them turned out to be major Voldie freaks. But the way they act is similar to the way Blaise does. All cold and "I think I'm better than you but I have too much class to actually say it so I'll just insult you in a clever and scathing way." You know what I mean?"
"I think so," he agreed. "I suppose I see where you're coming from."
"I wonder what he's like when he's drunk..." I started.
"No. We are not getting him drunk, Riley."
"Why not?" I pouted.
"Because he'd never agree to it, so you'd have to slip him alcohol without his knowing."
"So?"
"We are not going to drug him with alcohol!"
"Fine," I said, crossing my arms. I could only pretend to be mad for about three seconds, though, before I smiled and pressed closer to Draco, leaning my head against his shoulder.
We sat in silence for awhile, Draco idly running his fingers through my hair. I didn't think he was even aware of doing it, but I definitely wasn't going to say anything. Anytime I called him out on doing something affectionate, he had a tendency to stop doing it, and I liked the feeling of his fingers playing with my hair.
"So," I said after a few minutes. "What are we doing tomorrow?"
The fingers stilled. "Tomorrow?" he asked.
"It's Saturday. You know, weekend. Relaxation. Party. All that good stuff."
"I'm actually busy tomorrow," he said. I shifted slightly so I could look at his face, but he was gazing down into his lap. Well, technically my lap since I was in his.
"Busy with what?" I asked.
"Just busy," he said, looking up to meet my gaze. "Spend tomorrow with your nasty Gryffindors and Sunday we can do whatever insane thing that pops into your mind. As long as it doesn't involve any Gryffindors."
I smiled and nodded. "Deal."
He began playing with my hair again, the feeling so relaxing it was starting to lull me to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I noticed that I was laid out on the Slytherin couch and no longer curled up in the arm chair. I went to rub at my eyes tiredly, but my hand was entwined in something. I smiled when I realized it was Draco's hand, and that he was sleeping underneath me. Instead of waking up and sending me to my bed, or going up to his own bed and leaving me alone down here, he had stretched us both out on the couch. I laid my head back down on his chest and drifted off again.
Saturday morning, I woke feeling happy and rested. I knew it was still pretty early, probably around 7:00, but I wasn't tired anymore. I smiled down at the peaceful form beneath me, kissing Draco lightly before getting up and heading to my dorm. I got dressed quickly, being a little less courteous to my roommates than was polite, and then left.
I headed to the Gryffindor boys' dorm, where I knew Ron and Harry would still be sleeping. With an evil grin on my face, I silently snuck into their room, glancing the five beds. Most of them had their curtains tightly shut, although Seamus had his arm hanging off the edge of his bed, creating a gap between the curtains. Silently, I moved from bed to bed, searching for the right one. Who did I want to surprise this morning? Harry would be no fun because he would be used to it by now. Ron might have a fun face and a startled noise, but he was pretty used to my invasion of personal space too. That left Seamus, Dean, and Neville. I picked Seamus, mostly because his curtains were already partly opened, and carefully crept into his bed.
I got close to his side, the evil grin still spreading my lips. Feeling just a little bad for what I was about to do, I leaned in close to his ear and said, "Seamus!" loud enough to wake him. He woke with a start, saw my face right next to his, and yelled in shock, falling backwards off the bed. The commotion woke the others in the room, who all very tiredly peered through their curtains to see Seamus on the floor and me in his bed, giggling like mad.
"Bloody hell, Riley!" Seamus said, getting up off the floor. "What are you doing in my bed?"
I pouted at him, making my eyes big and watery. "Don't you remember the amazing night we had together?" I asked sadly.
He spluttered. "What? We didn't-- Nothing-- I don't--"
"Wish you two would've kept it down some," Dean said, giving me a subtle wink. "Couldn't get any sleep with all that racket."
"Don't you know any silencing spells?" Harry agreed, shaking his head at me.
Ron nodded. "I can sleep through anything and even I had trouble sleeping."
Seamus looked at me with huge eyes, his mouth hanging open. I could only hold my serious face for about three seconds longer before I cracked up, the other boys doing the same. Seamus looked on in confusion for only a moment longer before realizing we were all messing with him.
"You had me bloody worried there for a minute! If I'm gonna shag you, I'd better remember it!"
I laughed and smirked at him. "Trust me. If we had shagged, you'd remember it."
There were noises of appreciation and cat calls from the boys mingling with laughter because really, we all knew there would be absolutely no shagging with me and any of them.
"Now that you're all up, go get dressed! You get to spend the day entertaining me."
"Won't that Slytherin of yours mind?" Dean asked.
"Funny, Draco calls you lot my Gryffindors. Guess it works. But no, he won't. I have been given today to spend with all of you, and tomorrow will be spent with him. Now get dressed! I'm not above forcibly stripping you five."
With grumbles about my insanity, they conceded, getting dressed rather quickly. Next, I went and woke Ginny and Hermione, although I did this by gently shaking them instead of startling them out of their wits. The hours that followed were filled with fun, laughter, and happiness. My Gryffindors kept my spirits cheery, with their light attitudes and usually bright personalities. I'd be lost without them.
Around 5:00 p.m. though, they began to disperse. Ginny and Dean went off to have some alone time, Hermione wanted to get her homework finished, Ron and Harry decided to get some Quidditch practice in, and Seamus had caught the eye of a rather pretty Hufflepuff girl who was smiling at him flirtatiously. Left alone to my own devices, I wandered the school aimlessly, not really bored, just having nothing better to do. I was still in high spirits until I ran into Brendan Dove.
"Carson," he said, giving me a very icy look.
"Brendan," I answered, not really pleased to see him.
"How's your boyfriend?" he asked with a smirk. "Ready to kill himself from spending so much time with you?"
"How's your daddy?" I countered. "Still pretending you don't exist because you're a pathetic disgrace to the whole Dove family?" His eyes filled with rage, proving I'd hit a sore spot. "Oh, don't be so touchy. Not fitting in with their asshole mania isn't the end of the world. In fact, it could be the beginning of a brand new world for you, if you let it."
"What would you know about belonging to a family as esteemed as mine?" he sneered. "Sure, the Carsons are respected by some and have money, but no one really cares about them. And the line is going to die with you before you can produce an heir."
"Excuse me?" I asked, because I could clearly detect a threat in those words. "And what is that supposed to mean?"
"It means I wouldn't put too much stock in a future if I were you."
"Did your darling daddy tell you he has evil plans for me? Well, I have a message for him, and you be sure to deliver it for me. Tell him to bring it the fuck on, because I'm gonna kick his pureblood ass for all the grief he's caused me. If he wants a damn fight, he better prepare himself. I'm pissed off, I'm a little bit insane, and he's a fucking dick." Without waiting for him to respond, I turned on my heel and stalked off.
So Adrian was trying to threaten me? Well good for him. Now that I knew he was a pain in the ass, I was ready to kick his ass. A part of me still ached at the thought, though. My brother, my twin, wanted me dead. Had, in fact, seen to my murder when I was still his sister. No matter how angry I was, it still hurt to know he hated me. With a sigh, I decided to head for the Room of Requirement. I frowned, not really sure what I wanted the room to become, so I just asked it to find me a place where I could disappear for awhile.
When I stepped inside, I was surrounded by a maze of junk. This must be the room where things went if you wanted them to stay hidden. I was staring at the towers of various items when I heard a noise from deeper in the room. Gripping my wand tightly, I cautiously crept further in, peering through the junk for signs of life. When I found the source of the noise, I froze, not sure what to do. Draco was huddled on the floor, sobbing. He noticed my presence and looked up quickly.
"Riley?" he asked, wiping at his tears.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know you were in here. I'll just go." I turned around and started to leave.
"Wait," he called out. "Please. Don't leave me alone."
I nodded, walking back to him and sitting down beside him. I did not ask him what he was doing in this strange room or why he was crying because I knew that wasn't what he needed from me. In that moment, he needed me to simply be there for him, no questions asked. So I pulled him into my arms and held him close while he cried. And as I held that beautiful, broken boy in my arms, I knew why my gut had been tightening and clenching around him recently. I was painfully, devastatingly in love with him.
After awhile, his tears subsided and we were just holding each other. He kissed me, a desperate, longing kiss, like he was clinging to his sanity through that kiss. When his hands began to tug at my clothes, I did not stop him. Instead, I let him lay me down on the floor and explore my body. When his shirt came off, I pretended not to see the bitter truth branded on his skin like a tattoo. I covered the mark with my hand and kissed him again as he made me his. It was sweet and slow and tender, although not without pain. But he kissed me when it started to hurt, being as gentle as possible. I knew, as I stared into his eyes, that I was the one thing that was his and his alone. No one else could manipulate me or change me or bend my will to match theirs. I was myself, plain and simple, and I was his. To Draco, that meant everything.