The Sunrise of My Heart

Time passed, and as it did, I got caught up on the situation going on with the Daily Prophet. It angered me to no end, for more than one reason, but there was nothing I could do about it. After all, who would take the word of a not-quite-fifteen-year-old girl over the word of the Minister for Magic? No one who could help.

As the days passed, I began to realize more and more just how difficult a relationship with Draco might prove to be. His father, aunt, and probably mother were all Death Eaters. Everyone that I was close to was on Dumbledore's side, and would fight Voldemort's Death Eaters without hesitation. What would happen if, when we got older, we were still together and the battle was still going on? Would we then be enemies, forced to fight each other? Or would we just try to kill each others' loved ones instead? Either way, the outcome didn't appear bright. Because as much as he might loathe his father at times, I knew there was no way he would oppose his wishes on something this big. If it came down to a choice for him, he would almost definitely choose the dark side. And I would without a doubt choose the good side.

These thoughts constantly tormented me, adding to the rest of the turmoil going on inside my head. No matter what I did, I couldn't escape from my own mind. Not unless I were to go completely insane or simply die. And while I could discuss these thoughts with Ginny, they were the only ones I could fully express. Because no matter how close I was to her, I wasn't yet ready to share my more hidden secrets, the ones I only shared with my most trusted friends. Perhaps I would tell her everything one day, but I just couldn't do it yet.

More days passed, each one filled with laughter and joy, and a secret sense of worry underneath in all of us. Before I knew it, Molly Weasley was having us pack our bags so we could make the trip to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. I couldn't help but feel happier about that. Getting to spend the rest of the summer with my oldest and closest friend would be a wonderful treat, no matter how dark and sinister things had gotten in the magical world. Despite all of the things I had to worry about, I felt genuinely cheerful as we left the Burrow and headed off for Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

As we entered the house, I noticed how gloomy it was. Everything seemed dark and gray, as if the sour mood of its old tenants had seeped into the very foundation of the house. The entire setting seemed dull and dreary, which seemed appropriate considering how most of the Black family had been.

The first person I saw there was beaming at me, his face pale and drawn, but his eyes shining brightly.

"Remus!" I ran over to him and hugged him, grinning. "I haven't seen you in nearly two years. Why don't you ever visit the castle, just to make Snape insane?"

He chuckled. "Well, I would, but I'm afraid it would make Severus lose his mind and attack me. Don't want that much greasy hair flying towards me at one time," he whispered with a wink.

I laughed and nodded. "Well, okay, I forgive you then. So, let me guess. He's actually here, probably listening to us talk about him?"

"Yes, I am. If you were in school right now, I would deduct fifteen points from you for being so impertinent." Snape had stepped from behind a doorway, his black eyes glittering coldly.

"Aw come on, Sevy! Don't be so angry," I said with a pout.

He scowled at me, his eyes turning almost malicious. "That's Professor Snape to you," he said in a low, cold voice. His death-glare was so intense I almost shuddered. That man could be very intimidating when he wanted to be.

"Right, I'm just gonna go find Siri- Oh my god, I forgot Buckbeak is here! I have to go see him!" Without saying anything else, I dumped my bags on the floor and ran upstairs, calling occasionally for Buckbeak so I could hear him and see where he was. I was almost too excited to see the hippogriff to notice Kreacher. Not until I was two feet away from him did I notice him and stop.
"Hello, Kreacher," I said pleasantly, fully expecting a rude remark.

"The girl speaks to Kreacher. Kreacher will ignore the girl and go tend to Mistress. If my poor mistress only knew what scum and vermin is in her house..."

"Oh come now, Kreacher. I'm not scum and vermin! I'm a half-blood, which is totally okay. Besides, my father was a very esteemed wizard. You should be more cheerful. Eh?" But, of course, Kreacher only ignored me, still muttering to himself. With a shrug, I continued my search for Buckbeak until I finally found him.

"Hey, Beaky," I crooned softly when I saw him. He clicked his beak at me and ruffled his feathers, which I took as an invitation, so I walked over to him and sat down next to him, petting him gently. "Who's the prettiest hippogriff in the whole word? I'll tell you. You are! What a sweet little Beaky you are! What sweet, pretty Beaky you are!"

"I thought I might find you here. Or else following around Kreacher, terrorizing him and trying to make him your friend despite his wishes for you to go away and die." I turned around to see Sirius standing in the doorway to Buckbeak's room, a huge smile on his face. I got up and ran to him, hugging him tightly.

"Sirius! It's wonderful to see you again! How have you been?"

He smiled, hugging me tightly back. "I've been doing well, actually."

I stepped back, scrutinizing him for a second to make sure he was telling me the truth, then nodded. "Good. I've been doing well too, for the most part."

"For the most part? And what about for the least part?"

"Well, I just have a lot to think about. And a lot to decide. And it's really difficult. I mean, there's that whole thing," I glance at him to make sure he understood, and when he nodded, I continued. "Plus there's everything with Draco, and-"

"Wait, there's what with Draco? I thought you two had fixed things by faking a break up?"

"Yeah, we did. But you see, I was thinking, and he's almost certainly going to be a Death Eater, and then we'll be on opposite sides, and we'll have to fight, and it will all be very messy. Not to mention painful and just plain awful. Plus, I have everything else to worry about. Voldemort's return to power, the Order reassembling -which I know has happened, and I'm joining. No arguments.- and the Minister attacking Harry like this, and you're all hiding something that's on all of your minds, I can just tell because I know you guys, and you're all focusing on something that you don't want to talk about in front of us. And it's all just a lot to think about, you know?"

Sirius sighed softly and nodded. "Yeah, you definitely have a lot to think about. And I guess there's just no way we can stop you from joining, is there?"

"No, there isn't. So, when's my first meeting?"

"Come on downstairs, it should be starting soon," he said, sounding a bit defeated. I grinned and followed him happily, glad to have my way in this case.