The Sunrise of My Heart

After carefully examining my wrist the next morning, Madame Pomfrey said that injuries like that needed time to heal, so I should spend the next week or two in the Hospital Wing until it was all better. Which was her way of letting me avoid dealing with people since I was emotionally unstable.
I didn't spend all my time there, though. When people were in classes or eating, I would wander the halls aimlessly. Thoughts flooded my mind, becoming a dull blur that swirled around and around in my head. One thought continued to surface, allowing me to examine it and contemplate it, turning it over and over until I had decided what to do with it. I stopped my pointless wandering and turned around, heading back for the Hospital Wing. On my way there, I ran into Harry. He, too, seemed to be avoiding people if he could help it.
"Harry," I said. "I need you to come back to the Hospital Wing with me. I need to talk to you."
"I was actually just on my way to visit Hagrid," he mumbled, trying to slip past me.
I grabbed his arm to stop him. "No, you weren't," I said softly. "Listen, I know you don't really want to be near anyone right now. Neither do I. But this is important. The more I think about it, the more certain I am it's time for me to tell all of you what I've been hiding. The truth needs to come out. It deserves the chance to be revealed."
He sighed and nodded, following me. When we got there, I was pleased to see that Umbridge, who had been rescued from the centaurs by Dumbledore, was sleeping very soundly. Most likely from a sleeping potion given to her by Madame Pomfrey. Harry and I walked over to Ron, Ginny, Hermione, and Neville, sitting down near them.
"So, I feel like I need to tell you all a story that reveals the truth about me. Hermione, you might as well take a nap, I imagine you've figured it out long ago."
She turned slightly pink and smiled, nodding. "Yes, I have."
"How long, though? I'm curious."
"Over the summer. You were talking to Remus and..." She trailed off, casting a quick glance at Harry before continuing, "and a few other from the Order. I had already suspected, but that's when I was convinced."
"Have you figured it all out, though? Starting from the beginning? Cassandra, even?"
"Yes, but I still haven't figured out how."
"What are you two bloody talking about?" Ron interrupted.
"The story I'm about to tell you is very long, so bear with me. It is also one hundred percent the truth. You have all earned the right to hear it, so I implore you to listen while I talk." They nodded, all of them staring at me, waiting to see what I would say. Even Hermione and Ginny, who both knew at least some of my story, looked eager to hear my tell it. I sighed softly and began talking. "Long ago, in the days of the Hogwarts founders, Salazar Slytherin had a fiance. It was an arranged marriage, but such things are common in pure-blood families. The girl, Cassandra, didn't love Salazar, but she liked him enough. And she knew she would be happy with him. Or she would have been, if she had never met his closest friend and greatest rival, Godric Gryffindor. Godric and Cassandra instantly fell in love, but they tried to hide it. Around Salazar, they were mere acquaintances. But at night, when Salazar was in a deep sleep, Cassandra would sneak off and meet Godric. They conducted their affair under the moonlight for many weeks, but Salazar was clever. He discovered their treachery.
"He pretended not to care, saying it was merely an arranged marriage that Cassandra had cheated on, not a real betrayal at all. But in truth, he was furious. His best friend and the woman he loved had turned against him, enraging his already dark heart. So, he plotted his revenge. For no one would get away with betraying him.
"One day, he took Cassandra and Godric to the school that the two men had helped build. There, he led them to a hidden chamber that Godric had not known about. He grew apprehensive, but he wanted Salazar to forgive him for his treachery, so he said nothing. It was there in that chamber that Salazar attacked them. His rage and hatred fueled his power, and before long he had them shackled to the floor on opposite sides of the chamber. There, he proposed two deals.
"The first was to Godric. The key to their chains was hidden somewhere within the chamber. If Godric could tell where it was, Salazar would let them both go unharmed. If not, he would move on to offer his next deal. Godric tried his hardest, but he could not find the key. So Salazar moved on to Cassandra. If she promised to leave and never look back, never to seek out Godric again, Salazar would let her go. If not, he would curse her into Hell. She didn't know what to do. To live without Godric would be like living without her heart. But she was also afraid of Salazar's wrath. In the end, she decided that she couldn't leave Godric behind.
"Furious, Salazar killed him right before her eyes. But his revenge for her was so much worse. He cursed her, condemning her to walk this earth for all eternity, feeling the pain she had caused him. Over and over and over again, she would feel the torment of a broken heart. Until the end of time, she is doomed to reawaken when she should sleep peacefully in the arms of Death, always remembering what she did to deserve her fate. And, if she should fall in love again, she would die at a moment of great happiness with that love. And so she lived out the curse, her appearance changing a thousand times. Her names became a blur within her head, ranging from Cassandra, to Cora, to Roxanne, even. But one thing about her always stayed the same; her eyes, so unique and distinguishable, would always be the same eyes she had in her first life as Cassandra. Forget-me-not blue with swirls of molten gold in them."
I grew silent, looking at all of them. They were all staring at me, their eyes wide. Hermione's expression was just one of pity, though. I stood up, turning my back to them and tugging down my shirt to show the scar on my shoulder blade.
"Dark curses leave traces," I said. "Things to mark those that bear them. Like your lightning bolt, Harry. And like the slash on my back, always there no matter what I look like. This scar and my eyes are my only two constants within this world. And my dreams. Salazar made it so that I have dreams to warn me before I'm going to die. So I will always be filled with dread."
"Roxanne," Harry said very softly. "Your name was once Roxanne."
I nodded, seeing the knowledge glowing in his eyes as he realized what I was saying.
"You're Roxanne Dove. You were friends with my dad and..." He trailed off, staring at me in the numb shock of those who can't take much more emotionally.
I nodded. "Yeah, I was friends with your dad. I was a Marauder. My name was Fangs, because I had a tendency to nip the others if they got a little to rowdy on our monthly adventures."
"What was your animagus?" Hermione asked.
"A lion, like my patronus is now. Except my patronus is male and I was obviously a female lion."
"If you were a Marauder, why aren't you on the map?" Harry asked.
"I used to be. But I took myself off. When I started having dreams again, and I knew that I would be dying soon, I removed as many traces of myself as I could. I knew Si-- Padfoot wouldn't be able to let go very easily, so I did what I could to help him."
"Uh, who's Roxanne Dove?" Neville asked.
"She was a girl who went to Hogwarts when Harry's dad did. She became really close friends with James Potter and his three best friends, and eventually fell in love with and married Sirius." I said his name quickly, spilling it out before I could choke on it.
There was a long silence before Ginny spoke up. "What's it like to reincarnate? Are you aware when you're dead?"
I shook my head. "No. It's like having a lot of memories, with black spaces between each set. When I'm dead, it's short oblivion until I'm reborn. And then it's all fuzzy and unclear until I'm about five, when I start remembering. For awhile, it seems like a dream, but usually by the time I'm seven or eight, I completely remember who I am and what I've gone through. Last time, I tried to convince myself it was all a story I'd made up in my head. I repressed my memories, not wanting to deal with the truth of what I would have to deal with. But I stopped pretending my third year of Hogwarts."
"Why?" Ron asked. "What changed your mind?"
"I figured out that Remus was a werewolf, and I wanted to make him feel less alone. I wanted some way to help him feel like someone else shared some of his pain. And then I realized I could make him feel less alone by telling him my story. So I did."
We once again trailed into silence, each of us thinking our own thoughts about my lives. I suddenly felt like someone was watching me from behind, so I turned around and gazed out the slightly ajar Hospital Wing door. Had I left it partially opened? I didn't think so. When my eyes met icy blue ones, I realized that Draco had been snooping and must have heard my whole story. We stared at each other for another moment before he turned away, quietly retreating.
"So..." Ron said, trying to think of a question to ask me about my past life. "Did you ever pull any really good pranks?"
I smiled at him and nodded. "Tons of them. Once, I filled like fifteen huge bowls with chocolate pudding and put them in the Slytherin common room and in the dorms. They had firecrackers in them, and when they exploded, practically all of Slytherin house got covered in pudding. It was brilliant."
Everyone gave some variation of a smile or a laugh at that. Even Hermione had to smile at the thought.
"So were you still in love with him, then?" Harry finally asked.
I sighed softly. "Yes and no. I remembered how much I loved him, and I remembered what it was like to be with him. I was in love with the memory of what I had once been at what I'd once had. But I wasn't actually still in love with him. And the same goes for him. He was in love with the memory of what we once were, but not in love with me as Riley."
"Will you tell me stories about my parents?" he asked softly. "About all of them?"
I smiled softly and nodded. "Give me some time. Mentioning even his name is painful right now. But once we've both had time to heal a little, I'll tell you stories about the Marauders and your mother. Enough stories to fill a lifetime."