The Sunrise of My Heart

During break after DADA, I took the time to cool off and reflect on my actions. With a loud sigh, I decided I had to go and apologize to Draco in earnest. After all, my statement about him blowing Voldemort really was uncalled for. I set off, hoping I would find him alone. Apologizing to him in front of his friends would so not happen.
When I did find him, he was sitting alone in an abandoned classroom, staring absently at the wall and twirling his wand in his hands. It took him awhile to notice my presence, but when he finally did he aimed his wand at me and narrowed his eyes. He stood up swiftly from the desk he had been reclining on.
"What do you want, Riley?" he asked harshly.
"I came to apologize."
"You already did that." He sat back down on the desk, looking at me boredly.
"Yeah, but I only did because Snape was subtly hinting that I should. This time, I'm apologizing because I really am sorry for being so rude and for almost killing you."
"Fine. You can leave now." He turned away from me, twirling his wand absently again.
I crossed my arms and sat down next to him, refusing to be dismissed like that. "So what are you doing in here?"
"Sucking the Dark Lord's cock," he answered scathingly.
"Oh, come on, it was a little bit funny. You're just touchy about things. Are you secretly gay?"
"Riley, we've snogged. What about that makes you think I'm gay?"
"I don't know, you got all touchy about the thought of going down on a guy. Usually closet gays who aren't secure enough to admit their sexuality to people are really touchy about gay jokes and hints."
"I'm not gay."
"So then it was the Voldy aspect of the joke that made you touchy."
"Why are you bothering me, Riley?"
I was silent for a long time, thinking that over. "Because you're worth bothering," I answered.
"That makes no sense. Are you sure you don't have some sort of head trauma?"
I rolled my eyes. "I mean, you're not hopeless or a lost cause. If you were, I wouldn't bother bothering you. You're savable."
"I don't need saving," he snapped, standing up very suddenly. He started to walk away, but I reached out and grabbed his wrist to stop him.
"Yes, you do. We all need saving now and then. Some of us are just better hiding it than others. Like you."
"And what do you need saving from?" He looked at me, his sneer present. One of these days, I was gonna slap that sneer off his face. "The filth that you spend your time with?"
"I'm cursed, you brainless dolt. I would like to be saved from that. But I'm unsavable. You, however, are not. Don't push away those that want to help you."
"I don't need help." He jerked his wrist out of my grasp and stormed off.
I sighed softly and followed him more slowly. By the time I made it to the door, he was turning the corner at the end of the hallway. I wandered around slowly, seriously contemplating skipping my next class. But I knew that would be a bad idea. Thankfully, I still had time before it started, so I headed out to the Black Lake to relax for awhile. While I was there, I closed my eyes and thought of the Marauders. How many times had we sat under this very tree, laughing and enjoying being irresponsible kids (even, at times, Moony)? How often had Sirius and I sneaked out to fly around the Quidditch pitch? How often had we shared stolen kisses in the hallways?
With a sigh and a sad smile, I opened my eyes, gazing over the lake. Not very often did I desperately miss the life I'd had before, but this time I longed to go back in time and relive my days as Roxanne. I wasn't worried about being late for my next class since I had plenty of time, so I let my thoughts wander as far as they pleased.
I was dimly aware that, now that Sirius was dead and the truth had come out, I spent most of my time reminiscing over my days as a Marauder, but I hardly cared. Roxanne was my favorite life, and Sirius was the only man I had ever loved as mush as I'd loved Godric. I had so desperately wanted the curse to miraculously break, to be able to spend my whole life with Sirius, or at least more than I had gotten. But the curse was as strong as ever, so I had died long before anyone was ready.
"Riley? Are you okay?"
I looked up to see Neville standing near me. I smiled softly at him and nodded. "Yeah, I suppose. I'm just thinking."
"Oh," he said, looking like he wasn't sure whether he should leave or sit down and talk to me. I patted the ground next to me, so he sat down. "What are you thinking about?"
"Being Roxanne. How much I miss Sirius. Things like that."
"Is it hard, always dieing and coming back, seeing people you once knew?"
"Excruciatingly. I thought it would get easier with time, but it still feels like I'm being punched in the gut when I see an old lover, actually old. It's like I'm seeing a glimpse of my past life, but I can't enjoy it because I'm no longer a part of it."
"I'm sorry, Riley."
"It's okay. I have lifetimes of memories, wonderful stories to tell, and incredible accounts of things that I've been able to do over the past generations."
"Were my parents brave?" he asked softly.
I smiled. "They were a lot like you. A little quiet, sometimes shy. But within both of them were heroes, brave people who would do what it took to oppose evil. And I have seen that same hero rise up within you, fighting for what's right even in the face of death."
He turned pink and mumbled something under his breath. "I'm not brave, and I'm not a hero," he said louder.
"Neville, you most definitely are brave. You fought valiantly last year. And a hero is not a man that never feels afraid. He is a man who feels utterly terrified, but still does what he knows is right. You, Neville Longbottom, are a hero."
He smiled, still pink but looking more convinced. "You were a prankster in those days, right?"
"I definitely was."
"What was one of your best pranks?"
"Oh, that's difficult. There's six years of pranking to choose from. I once turned Snape's hair hot pink. Although I felt a bit bad about that, because we were friends."
"You were friends with him?" He looked at me as if I were crazy.
"He wasn't always so... No, he was always so bad. He wasn't bad to me. We got along. James and Sirius never could understand it, and I'm pretty sure they really wanted me to sever all ties with him. We stayed pretty close until the middle of our sixth year, when we hit a very rocky patch in our friendship."
"What happened?"
"It's a long story. Sirius played an awful prank on Severus that almost resulted in his death. And in retaliation, Severus played a prank on Sirius that almost killed both me and Sirius. Although he hadn't intended to hurt me, I just happened to be there at the time so I got caught up in it."
"What did he do?"
"Sirius and I were sitting up in the Astronomy tower after hours, talking. We didn't know that Sev had followed us. He hexed Sirius, causing him to fall off. We were holding hands, so I slipped with him. I managed to cling on to the edge of the tower with my free hand, but I lost my grip and fell. Thankfully, Severus saved me, and Sirius's brother saved him. It was one of the scariest moments of my life, because I was so sure I was going to lose Sirius."
"Professor Snape was even scary as a teenager," he said, his eyes wide.
"Needless to say, I didn't talk to him for a long time. But then Sirius and I had some relationship problems, and Sev was there to comfort me. So I forgave him for trying to kill us."
"He comforted you?"
"I know, shocking, right? He made me promise not to tell anyone, so you have to pretend like you don't know. If he knows that you know that he has a nice-ish side, he'll kill you."
He gulped. "I won't let him know," he promised.
"Your mom was actually a total gem when I was going through issues with Sirius. She found me crying in the girl's bathroom, and she hugged me and let my cry on her shoulder. And then she made me tell her what was wrong, so I vented to her, and she was just so sweet and understanding. I felt a lot better thanks to her."
He smiled, albeit somewhat sadly. "I'm glad they were good people."
"I'm so sorry you didn't get to spend time with them before Bellatrix got to them. They would have loved who you are. You would have made them so proud."
"Riley...?" He paused for a moment before continuing. "You said you witnessed your father's death, right? So you were right there?"
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you die too? Why were you spared?"
"I think Greyback was under the Imperius Curse. It would take someone very skilled in the Dark Arts to control a werewolf's mind, so I have no doubt that it was a Death Eater. I just don't understand why. My father was a part of the Order, sure, but this was long after Voldemort had been defeated. Someone must have really hated my family."
"Do you think it's right to get revenge on the ones that destroyed our families?"
"Yes. I'm morally against murder, but these people are so rotten and evil inside, it wouldn't be murder. It would be a service to the world for getting rid of such menaces. If I find out who ordered my father's death, I will deal with them the way they dealt with him."
"You're scary sometimes," he said, looking at my determined expression.
"I know. Good thing I'm on Harry's side and not Voldy's, right?" I smiled at him.
He nodded. "Definitely. I'd be terrified of you if you were planning on becoming a Death Eater."
"Don't worry, I plan on taking out as many Death Eaters as I can before the curse takes over and kills me." He gave a minor flinch when I mentioned dieing. "Don't be so squeamish about my death, Neville. It's going to happen no matter what I do, so I fully intend to go out with a bang. And I'm gonna be taking some Death Eaters out with me. Mark my words."