Inspiration.
3.
Date- 1/24
I haven’t written anything in a while. I’ve been busy stressing over boys, finals, my bad skin. Meeting with a Psychiatrist who told me I have a mood disorder. My Mother admitted to both the Psychiatrist and I that I have a younger sister...
I’ve grown up having foster sisters; foster brothers, but they never stayed around for long. They were never my age, either really younger, or really older and would only hang out with Rachel and Nate.
I was never in the picture.
I adored the younger siblings I had. Yes, the got annoying at times, but when they were having trouble, I was always there to help.
I loved having someone younger than me feel like they could talk to me, I loved helping them.
Well now my Mother has decided to quit the foster care. She was getting too stressed, depressed, and anxious. I believe the last time there was a foster kid living with our family was when I was in the fourth grade.
-
On January twentieth, the year two-thousand and nine. Four o clock. My Mother drove me into Astoria for an appointment. I was going to see a Psychiatrist.
I was nervous, but at the same time I was slowly starting to become relieved. We walked into the building where my Mother had been many times before. My Psychiatrist is a family friend. His daughter is best friends with Gilly, his wife is a good friend of my Mothers. I’ve known him since I was three years old.
I sat in one of the four chairs outside of his door. My Mother and I were filling out the paper work. It was windy outside, the river was starting to get a little crazy, I could see it through the glass in the door about five feet away to my left.
-
When I sat down on the dark blue couch in his office, the nervous feeling immediately disappeared. My Mother came in with me, she stayed for the first five, ten minutes as the Psychiatrist asked me questions.
“Nope.” I would always reply to his questions. I’ve never drank, never smoked, never been arrested, nor broke a bone. He told me I was healthy. I couldn’t remember what I ate for dinner the night before, but I could remember things from when I was three, four years old.
“So, how many biological siblings do you have?” he asked as he looked at me. I looked at my Mother, “Is it three?” I asked just to make sure. I counted with my fingers, “Rachel, Seth, Nate.” I said. And that’s when the truth came out.
My Mother turned to the Psychiatrist, “She actually has a younger sister, on her Father’s side, I believe she’s about one or two years younger.”
I couldn’t believe it. A younger sister. I wanted to cry because I was so happy, but then I got angry. Why hadn’t she told me that before? She had many chances to.
I stayed in that room with my Psychiatrist for over an hour. He told me that I have insomnia, and a mood disorder.
I knew it! There really are things wrong with me!
I wanted to bring up my problems that I’m having with boys, three of them actually. I talked a little bit about Adam, but I’ll explain more about him in the next chapter, he’s old news.
The new news is Derek, who I love to call DerDer. He’s lovely, absolutely lovely. I love him dearly; he’s my best friend.
As I’m writing this, I’m laying in Gilly’s old bedroom on her bed. I can’t sleep in my room anymore, literally can’t sleep. At least in this room I get to fall asleep by three in the morning.
Mother’s been getting in my business a lot lately. Always wondering who I’m talking to, she asks me about five times a day if I have homework, she never believes me when I say that I don’t. She questions me about why I don’t sleep in my own room, I tell her it’s because I can’t sleep in there... simple as that. But she still keeps asking.
She’s becoming very annoying, very fast.
-
I want to leave here. I never want to go to school again. I want to be home taught by my Aunt in Virginia. She home schooled my cousin Andrew, who is one of the smartest people that I know. She called this morning, my Aunt did. She only talked to my mom, I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. My mom brought it up, the homeschooling thing, it was sorta even my Mom’s idea.
It was after the appointment on Wednesday, I asked her if I could be home schooled. She said that she couldn’t do it, but that Julie, my Aunt, could. I asked my Mom to e-mail her, since Yahoo and Hotmail are blocked at school.
I hate most of the teachers at my school, and most of the students with a passion. Even though there’s less than two hundred students in my High School, there’s a lot of hatred that I have towards them. I just don’t know where it’s all coming from.
The only teacher I like is Mr. Randall. He reminds me of Rory, I think it’s because they’re so close in age.
-
I’m going to end this very short chapter with a little bit of a sneak peak of the next one.
In the next chapter I will be talking about Adam, a sixteen year old boy who moved to my school a little over a year ago. He’s an ex-boyfriend, an also a friend, just not a best one anymore. He has problems... lots of them. He’s annoying, pathetic; and ugly. But he’s a great friend.
Just no one likes him.
I haven’t written anything in a while. I’ve been busy stressing over boys, finals, my bad skin. Meeting with a Psychiatrist who told me I have a mood disorder. My Mother admitted to both the Psychiatrist and I that I have a younger sister...
I’ve grown up having foster sisters; foster brothers, but they never stayed around for long. They were never my age, either really younger, or really older and would only hang out with Rachel and Nate.
I was never in the picture.
I adored the younger siblings I had. Yes, the got annoying at times, but when they were having trouble, I was always there to help.
I loved having someone younger than me feel like they could talk to me, I loved helping them.
Well now my Mother has decided to quit the foster care. She was getting too stressed, depressed, and anxious. I believe the last time there was a foster kid living with our family was when I was in the fourth grade.
-
On January twentieth, the year two-thousand and nine. Four o clock. My Mother drove me into Astoria for an appointment. I was going to see a Psychiatrist.
I was nervous, but at the same time I was slowly starting to become relieved. We walked into the building where my Mother had been many times before. My Psychiatrist is a family friend. His daughter is best friends with Gilly, his wife is a good friend of my Mothers. I’ve known him since I was three years old.
I sat in one of the four chairs outside of his door. My Mother and I were filling out the paper work. It was windy outside, the river was starting to get a little crazy, I could see it through the glass in the door about five feet away to my left.
-
When I sat down on the dark blue couch in his office, the nervous feeling immediately disappeared. My Mother came in with me, she stayed for the first five, ten minutes as the Psychiatrist asked me questions.
“Nope.” I would always reply to his questions. I’ve never drank, never smoked, never been arrested, nor broke a bone. He told me I was healthy. I couldn’t remember what I ate for dinner the night before, but I could remember things from when I was three, four years old.
“So, how many biological siblings do you have?” he asked as he looked at me. I looked at my Mother, “Is it three?” I asked just to make sure. I counted with my fingers, “Rachel, Seth, Nate.” I said. And that’s when the truth came out.
My Mother turned to the Psychiatrist, “She actually has a younger sister, on her Father’s side, I believe she’s about one or two years younger.”
I couldn’t believe it. A younger sister. I wanted to cry because I was so happy, but then I got angry. Why hadn’t she told me that before? She had many chances to.
I stayed in that room with my Psychiatrist for over an hour. He told me that I have insomnia, and a mood disorder.
I knew it! There really are things wrong with me!
I wanted to bring up my problems that I’m having with boys, three of them actually. I talked a little bit about Adam, but I’ll explain more about him in the next chapter, he’s old news.
The new news is Derek, who I love to call DerDer. He’s lovely, absolutely lovely. I love him dearly; he’s my best friend.
As I’m writing this, I’m laying in Gilly’s old bedroom on her bed. I can’t sleep in my room anymore, literally can’t sleep. At least in this room I get to fall asleep by three in the morning.
Mother’s been getting in my business a lot lately. Always wondering who I’m talking to, she asks me about five times a day if I have homework, she never believes me when I say that I don’t. She questions me about why I don’t sleep in my own room, I tell her it’s because I can’t sleep in there... simple as that. But she still keeps asking.
She’s becoming very annoying, very fast.
-
I want to leave here. I never want to go to school again. I want to be home taught by my Aunt in Virginia. She home schooled my cousin Andrew, who is one of the smartest people that I know. She called this morning, my Aunt did. She only talked to my mom, I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. My mom brought it up, the homeschooling thing, it was sorta even my Mom’s idea.
It was after the appointment on Wednesday, I asked her if I could be home schooled. She said that she couldn’t do it, but that Julie, my Aunt, could. I asked my Mom to e-mail her, since Yahoo and Hotmail are blocked at school.
I hate most of the teachers at my school, and most of the students with a passion. Even though there’s less than two hundred students in my High School, there’s a lot of hatred that I have towards them. I just don’t know where it’s all coming from.
The only teacher I like is Mr. Randall. He reminds me of Rory, I think it’s because they’re so close in age.
-
I’m going to end this very short chapter with a little bit of a sneak peak of the next one.
In the next chapter I will be talking about Adam, a sixteen year old boy who moved to my school a little over a year ago. He’s an ex-boyfriend, an also a friend, just not a best one anymore. He has problems... lots of them. He’s annoying, pathetic; and ugly. But he’s a great friend.
Just no one likes him.