I Never Got The Chance To Even Tell Him…

“Wake up!!” I see an anxious Sam with her blonde hair bouncing, shaking my whole body trying to get me up. I roll over and groan.

“I’m up! I’m up!” Which really I was just throwing the pillow over my face, hoping that she could just give up. God this is going to take some getting used to. I should have just gone to the guy’s house last night. Then, I could have been sleeping in strong and burly arms with them around my waist. Yeah, that sounds so much better to me, but then it would get a little weird with my video chats with Alex. So here I am stuck in a hot pink room with a real life Barbie. She is Warren’s sister so maybe I could get a little dirt on him and his buddies. I get out of the bed and get my bathroom necessities and head into the bathroom, which I am shocked by. It’s not pink! I can tell that she obviously got the money for and to decorate the house from her parents, which hey if you can there is nothing wrong with that. I take a shower and when I get out I look through my suitcase for an outfit, but before I can choose Sam comes hopping in my room and reminds me of my Barbie makeover. Fun. Fun. Fun. I just put on my white bathrobe as she leads me into her huge closet. She keeps grabbing pieces of clothing off the rack and holding them up to me, but always shrugs her head no. I can barely even stand this just standing here, but somehow she manages to find my Barbie outfit. She hands me the clothes and I throw them on. God, why pink, I’m totally not a huge fan of pink, I’ll where some, but this to me is too much pink. She plops me down into her chair for the vanity mirror and wastes no time at all plastering my face with pink makeup.

“So, I know we talked about this last night, but what are your feelings for my brother again?” She asks. I sigh and rattle them off for her again.

"Are you sure this isn't awkward for you?" She nods her head no and I start to tell her, "When I'm with him it's like there is no one else on the whole planet expect him and me. When I wake up and see he is sleeping next to me I automatically smile and I'm in my seventh heaven with him. My skin burns when he touches me, our hands fit perfectly together, he is all I think about and dream about, thinking of him makes my heart race, and I don't know what to do because I feel like one day he is going to be to true and just disappear." I say in one big breath causing me to take a huge deep breath at the end. She has a smile on her face when I'm done ranting on.

"I don't get why do guys don't just get married right now."

"You know my feelings for him and you know how I'm dating Alex and have the same exact feelings just a few of them varying." I sigh.

"So, then how is fair you date Alex, but my brother gets no chance?"

"Honestly, I do not know. Life just isn't fair." That's all I could say because honestly I have no reason minus Alex to just jump right on top of Warren and kiss him wiith as much passion as I could ever pour into one kiss. Sam continues to interrogate me on my love life until the Barbie makeover is done. She spins me around in the chair towards the mirror and I gasp. I look exactly like one of those fake cheerleaders, the exact people I hated in High School.

"So...what do you think?" Oh god what do I say in response.

"I like it, but it's just not anything I would have chosen by myself." I say trying to avoid hurting her feelings. I liked it some what, but it would be too much to do everyday. Now, I just need to nail down the bitchy attitude. Just kidding, Sam does this everyday and she isn't a bitch.
We walk out of the house after she puts her makeup and outift on and decide to go on a little shopping spree. Apparently after I got my makeover I still wasn't done so now we are going shopping for more Barbie clothes. Sam pulled me into numerous boutiques I had to beg her to bring me into the Roots store.

"Whyyyy? It's all like sweatpants and sweatshirts!" She whines.

"Pleaseeeee just for me can we?" I say pouting.

"Ugh! Fine!" She says and we walk in the store and right away someone grabs my eye, Warren. I turn and smirk at Sam.

"See, this is why I wanted to come here!" I say with a smirk. I practically run slamming my body into his pulling him into an embrace. "It was so weird not waking up next to you." I say looking up at him.

"You know you could have came over."

"I know, but I'm staying with your sister now. Leighton and I aren't on the best of terms now." I say fast, but he still understands me because I can see the confusion on his face. "Its a long story, I'll tell you tonight?" We hear Sam clear her throat and I turn around, but Warren's arms are still wrapped around my waist.

"Actually you won't because we are going to the clubs and flirting with all the guys we see." I groan at her.

"What if I don't want to. Can't he come with us?" I ask.

"No. It's girls night and your are coming with me." She argues back.

"Maybe I should just move in with him instead." I look up at him, "You wouldn't mind would you?" He gives me a smirk.

"No, I wouldn't mind one bit." I just smirk right back at him.

"Blair, he is not coming, and you are coming with me for girl's night out. Come on we are leaving." She says in protest grabbing my arm. I mouth to him that I will call him later and I wave goodbye. "I told you that was a bad store!" She yells at me.

"Come on what happened to why not go for it with your brother?" I ask innocently.

"When I said that I meant go for it, but not in front of me. We will have fun tonight and get so
wasted we will forget all of the drama in your life with guys and Leighton."

"Fine, but we better find a killer outfit to do it in."

"Oh, trust me we will!" And sure of enough we did. I ended up with a dress with magenta sequins on top and plain black on the bottom and it went a little higher than mid-thigh. After we found our outfits we went and got our nails done. We headed back and I told her I was exhausted and was going to take a nap if I wanted to party hardy tonight, which was lie, I just
wanted to call Warren with out her confiscating my cell. Gladly, he answers on the first ring.

"Hey there Williams."

"Hey to you too, White. I saw earlier you got a Barbie makeover from Sam. So, what happened so bad with Leighton you had to torture yourself in life in Barbie's Dream Castle?" I laugh at his comment.

"You got time, it's a long story?" I say throwing myself down on the bed. I explain everything, but keep the part about him out.

"Wow. I have one question though? Why would you go to my sister and not me, it hurts me deeply." He says sarcastically pretending to cry as if he was offended.

"Oh, that's simple I like your sister way better than you."

"Oh really now?"

"Yep, really."

"I'll have to prove to you sometime that your wrong." My mind right away goes through all of it's dirty thoughts that could prove me wrong in and instant. Now, I don't know what to say due to my dirty thoughts and quickly said goodbye and called someone else, Alex. Now, it felt like every time I was talking to a friend, not my own boyfriend. I quickly ignored the thought and threw myself into random conversation with him. We talked for quite a bit until he had to go to sound check or something my mind was off in lala land at the time so I really couldn't tell you much about our conversation, which is pathetic and sad it's my boyfriend!

I end up actually taking a nap after that and it's about Leighton. All of our memories, inside jokes, awkward moments, it was all good, but now I think will I ever get a chance to talk about them again with her? When I try and picture, I can't. I get up out of bed and head into the bathroom and splash water on my face and think what is wrong with me which causes me to have a complete meltdown. I just slid my back down the wall until my ass hit the floor, that's when I just started balling my eyes out, attempting to let it all out. I was in a complete break down with me in hysterics probably due to Alex, Warren, Leighton, being so far away from home, I just couldn't handle it anymore. Some point during this Sam walks in with a sympathetic face and just slides down next to me wrapping her arms around me, trying to soothe me, but it's not working. This is the time where I need a best friend, but she isn't here anymore. Sam just doesn't know what to do so at some point she just leaves the room and all I hear over my sobs is hushed whispering, that's right before Warren comes in. He bends down and scoops me and my shaking body into his arms and carries me to the bed where he lies me down and wraps me in his arms.

"Shhh. It's ok, it's ok." He repeatedly says in a soothing tone while kissing my forehead and rubbing my back. At some time after that I finally regulate my breathing and just curl up into him and let my body melt away. "Wanna talk about it?" And I whisper later as I just soak up his warmth in the moment just lying there looking out my window at the snow falling on the mountain, it's so peaceful, calm, and serene. Why can't my life be like that?

I start to talk to him with my back still remaining against his chest. "I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like each day I'm here it, it feels like it is leading to more and more pain. I already lost my best friend I knew since the day I was born. I barely even feel like I know my boyfriend anymore. But most of all I'm falling more for you each and everyday and it scares the crap out of me. I've never felt scared like this. I feel the longer I'm with you the more it will hurt to leave you."

"Then don't." He whispers.

"See, but you don't get it. I can't this isn't my life. I can't live in this fantasy world forever. And you. You just add to the fantasy, you seem to good to even be remotely real. I feel in a blink of an eye you'll disappear and leave me."

"Would never leave you, Blair."

"I guess I know that in my heart, but I just can't get my mind to believe it. I'm scared of what's going to happen when I leave. How will I know if when I leave, I'll never see you again in my life?"

"I would never let something as good as you slip away from me like that." I finally turn my body to face him and I can see in his eyes he actually means what he says. I can't stand it anymore and I push myself further up against his body and kiss him with passion. It takes a second for him to actually respond, but when he does he matches the passion. My body feels totally different and I can't think straight at all at the moment, but I try hard to burn this memory into my head because I never want to forget it.