I Love You and Goodbye

Silence. Crying. Silence. Crying. Whispering. Grunts. Crying. Silence

That what I basically heard for the last two days. Nobody dared say anything, afraid something big would come out of it. Charlotte and Desi had refused to leave my house the last two days except get a new change of clothes. They was past pissed. Even thought they were, they couldn’t compare to Tom. He could barley look at me after I revealed who the father was. Oliver, oh my Oliver. He was to shocked to say anything, barley blinking. He didn’t even realize Tom was basically dragging him out the house, with the rest of the guys following behind.

For the past day all I could do was sit. I didn’t even both to leave my room, unless it was to feed the twins, bath them or put them to sleep. Other then that I was in my room staring at the ceiling, as if wishing for it to cave on me. I seriously was going crazy, god in no time I’d probably end up in an crazy hospital. You know, the one with the big guys, the puffy walls, and the big needles. Oh Mein Gott! I can picture it now me and all white, surrounded by big puffy white walls. Oh geesh, I’m not going crazy I am crazy, Guess I don’t need a doctor to say it now.

I stood up and shook my head, I really do have problems. I looked around my room, I knew I need to leave these solid four walls before I started to talk to imaginary people. Just thought had me scurrying over towards my room door. Slowly, I opened the door. Peeking out I could hears hushed voices coming from down the stairs, and I could tell there was more then three people downstairs. Deciding against going downstairs I tiptoed my way over to Caroline and Jayden room. I know they were most likely in the room, since this was about the times they were put down for there naps.

Once of the girls were probably in the room with them, which I knew it would be easier. Since, Charlotte and Desi got over the whole Oliver was the baby daddy, they’ve been supportive. So I knew they didn’t hold any grudge over me. If they did, basically WW3 would be erupting throughout the house.

As I got closer to the twins room, I heard soft humming. My eyebrows furrowed. It was odd to hear humming from the room. Usually, when the twins was sleepy all they need was a bottle of warm milk and they were out like a light. I pushed the room door open slowly, so I was able to see everything in the room. The sight in front of me shocked me to no end. Everything thing in my body just shut down, and my mind stopped thinking.

Standing there, swaying side to side, stood Oliver Sykes, swaying a sleepy looking Jayden. He was speaking softly to him, as if he was waiting for him to answer.

“My precious baby boy” He whispered. “God, how could I not know about you.”

At that moment I felt like crying. I felt even worse when he bent his head down and lightly kissed Jayden forehead. It felt like my whole word was crashing down. I felt absolutely horrible. Here was a man I thought couldn’t be compassionate to save his life, treating a child ,that he didn’t even know he had till a few days ago, like it was the most sacred jewel in the entire world. I was the worst person. I kept the twins away form their father, and most importantly I kept the twins from their of biological father.
What if, Tom and them weren’t ever at the restaurant? What if they didn’t come to California? What if Alex wasn’t marrying Kim, and she wasn’t pregnant? Would I have ever told Oliver he had two kids? Would Jayden and Caroline grow up calling the wrong guy dad? So much questions were floating through my head, and I was feeling to many emotions to name at the moment.

I didn’t realize tears were falling down my face until a chocked sob escaped my mouth. Oliver head snapped in my direction. Every emotion possible was flashing in his eyes. I felt my knees give out, and I dropped to the carpet covered floor. My body was hunched over as I sobbed into my hands. How could I do this to him? He never did anything bad? Yes, he drunk and sleep with so many girls, but he never held any sense of responsibility to care. I never gave him a chance to prove to him that he could be the perfect father figure to his two beautiful kids.

I heard muffled footsteps walk around the room, before stopping in front of me. I knew it was Oliver. I heard him crouch down in front of me. His skinny, stick arms, wrapped around my petite frame. Not caring anymore, I clung to him like a desperate child. I buried my face into his white t-shirt clad chest. His hands rubbed up and down my back in a soothing manner. He whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I know at that moment I was terribly wrong.