World War Against Two Men

What we have isn’t allowed in this country anymore. I am a pure German but because of what I am and feel and stand for I am considered and outcast. Just because of one man’s hopes and dreams have been drilled into so many people’s minds they have all become his puppets and they look down upon me. They all look down upon my lover and I.

His head rested on my bare chest as we hid in the cellar on the one squeaky bed that was in the darkened room. His warm arms held me close as my bitter skin got used to the eclipse that constantly hung around the room.

“We still have each other”

Watching everything that has been happening to our country has been something to complain about. For a day or two I thought Hitler would save us. He seemed like the answer to all of our problems. My dad now has a job and so does Gerard’s. Our mothers don’t have jobs. They have to stay at home.

My mother is now pregnant. We have more money now. Hitler is rewarding us.

“Always.”

We’re not the only ones in hiding. I’ve heard that the Jews are suffering. So are the gypsy’s and anybody disabled. Apparently someone was taken because was he had one blue eye and one green. That’s what I’ve heard. I don’t know how harsh this Hitler is.

All I know is that we have to hide our love for as long as it takes to live through this.

Where they will be taking us is hell. Like I said before, I’ve only heard this from other people. I have no idea what day it is. We’ve been hiding for around 6 months. People have passed through trying to hide as well. Mostly Jews. I feel for them. They share some of their food with us and that’s how Gerard and I have lived.

We are living.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight Frank.”

“We both have Gee. Why are you crying?”

“Frank don’t you remember? It’s your birthday today.”

I looked at Gerard in disbelief and then wiped the tears that were falling down his cheeks.

One year older. I am now 19 years old. This is the first year I have spent my birthday without my parents. I hope they remember. I wish I could tell them where I am but I can’t risk it. Everyone knows I am in love with a man up there.

I bet that the SS soldiers are looking for us now.

“Happy Birthday to me. There’s no need to cry Gee. There’s nothing to celebrate until this war ends”

“Frank, I just love you so much and I…”

I put a finger on Gerard’s sweet lips as I heard a lot of noise coming from upstairs. Gerard’s tears flew more and my heart began to race ahead of me and it felt like the room was being sucked away.

I flung off of the bed and grabbed the two woollen jumpers we had recently taken off. I threw one over to Gerard and he put it on quick. I put mine on and welcomed the warmth I suddenly felt. (We don’t wear them during the day so then the night feels warmer)

Gerard stretched his hand out and grabbed onto it as he led me through a small tunnel that we had created in the room in case something like this would happen. We knew they would come. We just never knew when.

But it’s happening. Its happening now and I think my heart is about to come up through my throat.

“Quick Frankie”

I hate small places. I hate this. Why can’t they leave us be? I don’t see what’s so wrong about us. What is so wrong about love?

Gerard ducked and went in first. I took in a deep breath and followed him. I put my hand out and shut the wooden door on us surrounding us with darkness once more. Gerard’s arms laced around my waist as he buried his head into the crook of my neck and I could feel his body tremble. I held onto his hands and closed my eyes imagining us anywhere but here.

I am not in a bleak aphotic tunnel. I am in my house with Gerard over with his brother Michael and we’re having dinner to celebrate my birthday. Gerard leans over and kisses me on the cheek and Michael makes a funny face and mum just laughs. Dad rubs me on the back telling me what a great man I am growing up to be and Gerard tells me he loves me.

This war isn’t happening.

“Search the place!”

Gerard’s grip on me got tighter and I could feel his uneven breath pounding against my skin. The tears from his cheeks dampened the skin on my neck. I hate the fact that this war has turned a man into something like this. Hiding in the dark holding onto to some guy for dear life. I say some boy; I think I’m something more. I know I’m something more. I’m not just a lover. I’m his anchor.

“ Officer, there’s nobody here.”

Gerard let out a long breath and I could feel my self get calmer. They’re going. We’ve fooled them. We’re going to be fine.

But then, something had to happen. It happened and everything stopped. The darkness stopped, the heartbeats stopped, the breathing stopped. Everything froze.

Gerard’s leg slipped and kicked mine. My leg shot forward and kicked the wooden door slightly. It was enough to bring attention though.

“ Officer!”

I looked over to Gerard and I could just make his eyes out. They were full of tears and he was staring straight back at me with fear drowning in his eyes. What do I do? They can’t catch Gerard. I don’t know what they would do to him.

“There’s a wooden door!”

I can’t let them take him. I can’t. He wouldn’t survive. He can barley cope with being in here in hiding.

“We’ve found them.”

I grabbed Gerard’s head and pressed my lips onto his. One last kiss before I go. I know what I have to do I just hope it works. I really hopes this works.

Gerard pushed me away and shook his head.

“Frankie please don’t do what I think your going to do.”

Tears erupted from my eyes and I brought my shaky hands to his gorgeous face and kissed everything. His cheeks, lips, eyelids, nose, everything. I just needed him one last time before this all ends.

“Gerard I love you. Look after your self”

“Frankie you can’t go! I’m sorry, I had pins and needles and I-I am so so so sorry I …Frankie please don’t go.

“Gerard tell me you love me.

“ Kick the door down!”

“ Frankie I-I-I can go...I’ll try and I….”

“Gerard, please!”

“ We’ve got the little scum’s!”

“Frank you can’t go…

I kissed Gerard one last time and them pushed him back with so much force that all my energy had gone and the tears dropped from my eyes like rocks.

“ Now!”

The wooden door shot down and the light from the outside shone on my face. Gerard was safe. That’s all that mattered.

Hands dove in and grabbed me by my hair. They dragged me out and that was it. Gerard was gone.

They shoved me onto the ground and they punched me in the stomach as they laughed at my quivering form. I looked into the tunnel and I could see Gerard’s face. He was looking at me and he was crying. He was crying so much.

He mouthed the words I love you.

Everything was fine.

The pain I felt from the men’s fists and legs didn’t hurt as much as watching Gerard crying there. He looked so helpless. I wish I could do more. We don’t have each other anymore Gerard. My birthday is still nothing to celebrate.

“ Take him to the van. He’ll be on the way to the camp tomorrow.

Once again the grabbed my hair and pulled me up. My gaze was torn away from Gerard. The last time.

Goodbye Gerard. I really love you. I apologise for all of this. Just stay alive. Please just stay alive.

Give me a reason to live through this.