She's Got You High.

I tried my hardest to avoid being alone with John for the next couple of days. I stuck to Garrett like gum on a shoe - I refused to go anywhere without him. It's not that I didn't want to be around John - I just didn't trust the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't trust my own head to stay away from him, to not fall for him. Garrett's speech from the first night of the tour still played constantly in my mind.

"You don't know what he does to girls, to people. I just don't want you getting hurt." Again and again and again, ringing in my ears. I felt terrible - I was old enough to make my own judgments about someone, and yet I was force feeding Garrett's words down my throat, till I believed them myself. Sure, John was a flirt, but what good looking guy isn't at some point. I liked to think that I knew John on a different level then Garrett did. The John I knew was kind, listened to me, knew his boundaries, and got me to try different things. John got me to feel alive. And I couldn't thank him enough for that.

We were in North Carolina, after doing shows in Florida and Georgia. A few members of the Fearless Records team were in town, and they were treating us to an early dinner, at a semi-decent restaurant. I was excited - it was going to be the first time in at least a good 3 weeks that I wasn't eating something fried, or greasy, or cheap for that matter. And it wasn't like any of us were paying for it, either. However, we were under strict instructions to "dress nice" and "not to make asses of ourselves."

Dressing nice on the road had definitely taken a spot on the back burner after the first few days of tour. Once my hair started to get greasy from lack of showering, and once I had discovered that it was really hard to take a power nap in cute shorts and flow-y beady tops, I dropped them for the comfiest jeans possible, and plain tee's or sweaters. So for me to actually be able to dress up for a night, it felt like a luxury.

We had about an hour till we had to leave, so it was about time to get ready. I pulled my luggage out from the back of the trailer, and started to dig through it - Eventually I found the one nice dress I had packed, just in case something like this would occur. It was a light sundress, and was definitely meant for Arizona weather, and not the cold air we were currently facing. But it would have to make due. I found my single pair of brown Oxfords and made my way back inside the venue we were at for the night, finding the nearest bathroom and changing. Garrett and the other guys were all getting ready together in another part of the building. And after being around him practically non-stop for the last few days, it felt...odd to not have Garrett around. Like a part of me was missing.

I had forgotten how lovely it felt to wear something besides jeans, to feel cold air rush against my legs. I took a decent amount of time on my makeup for once, and failed miserably at curling my hair for the night. I looked at myself in the mirror when I was finished - I felt like I looked presentable for once, instead of mediocre.

I stepped out of the bathroom, almost running into Pat in the progress. He apologized profusely, before he looked at me, giving me a quick glance over, jaw slightly dropping open.

"Wow, June, I uh- gotta go." He stuttered, before starting to run off.

"Wait, Pat, have you-" He had already left the building by the time the words made their way out of my mouth. I sighed. I was never going to be able to find Garrett. I started to walk down the hallway absentmindedly, till I got to a room that sounded like I was going in the right direction - Pat had come from that way, after all. There was a piece of paper taped on the door, with "The Maine: Dressing Room" on it. I opened the door, only praying that Garrett was in there.

I was anything but right. In fact, the one person I didn't want to see was there. My heart started racing, and my palms started sweating.

John turned around at the sound of the door opening. His eyes widened, and a smile graced his face a moment later. Only then did I remember that I wasn't in the usual jeans-and-a-tee ensemble. I could feel the blush making it's way to my cheeks, and I stared down at the ground, not sure what to do about any of this - especially the feeling in my gut. I shut the door behind me, standing against it.

"You look..." John started, walking towards me, slowly. "I mean, you're...Ah, fuck. You look beautiful tonight, June." He stuttered, flustered, his words all mixed up. He kept backtracking, making his hole deeper and deeper. "I mean, not that you're not always beautiful, but I mean..." I was laughing at this point, my hand covering my mouth to suppress my giggles. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I should just stop, shouldn't I?" He asked, and I nodded.

"You look nice, too." I noted. He was wearing a black dress shirt, with black pants and shoes, and white tie to offset the overbearing the dark color. He was close at this point, standing only a few feet in between us. He smiled down at me, and moved even closer, grabbing my right hand, his other hand going to rest on my hip.

"What are you doing, Jo-" I stopped talking, when he started moving us to an imaginary beat. I had never been the smartest, or best dancer for that matter. Usually Garrett and I stood awkwardly away from the crowd at dances, laughing at the ridiculous dresses and hairstyles that everyone sported. Occasionally him and I would bust a move, but nothing this serious. Garrett didn't send my heart into a flurry.

We "danced" for what felt like ages. He twirled me around, my dress spinning out perfectly. Eventually we were at a standstill, my hands now wrapped around his neck, head resting on his chest. We were silent, except for the sound of our breaths. So I was started when I felt John's head move down towards my own, only to have it make contact with with my ear, and his voice enter my system a moment later.

"Porcelain doll, your mother runs an antique shop. She takes some stuff, I take a lot. We sleep all day..."

It took me a moment to realize what the fuck he was singing - Ryan Adams. I didn't even know he listened to Ryan Adams, let alone know the words. I didn't even know how to react, as we started to move again, swaying in time to his own voice. It was like my own personal lullaby - Garrett was tonedeaf, and couldn't sing for the life of him. It felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest - this wonderful feeling left me feeling full and just plain happy.

"She don't even know what time it is anymore. Dressed up like it's World War 24..." John spun me around again, and then stopped me quickly, looking at me, almost cautiously. Suddenly everything felt different - the happy feeling disappearing, and a feeling of uncertainty taking it's place. John stepped closer, standing directly in front of me at this point. He reached a hand out and cupped my cheek - he was touching me like I was fragile. Like I would break apart in two. He was looking at me dead-on in the eyes, almost as if he was asking for approval. I knew what was going to happen next. I could just tell what was going to happen next.

John's head moved closer towards my own, slowly but surely, his hand still on my cheek, pulling back part of my bangs, his thumb slowly stroking a repeating pattern. I closed my eyes, and just waited for our lips to make contact. For the start of something new between us. I could feel his breath tickling my face - I didn't dare check to see how close he was. I couldn't focus on anything, or keep my head on straight. No coherent thoughts were running through my head, and all I knew was I had never felt like this before. This-

My cellphone suddenly started to buzz in my pocket, causing me to jump from slight shock. I opened my eyes, feeling John's hand leave my cheek, seeing him step away. I pulled the piece of technology out, seeing Garrett's name flashed across the screen, I sighed, and hit "Accept".

"Where are you?" I heard him ask, almost worried, anxious. "Pat said he saw you a few minutes ago, and I went looking, but-"

"Relax. I was finishing getting ready. Is the cab here?" I replied, running a hand through my hair, attempting to fix my bangs. I looked over at John, who was already putting on his jacket, walking slowly towards the door.

"Not yet. We're waiting outside by the van though, so come join us. Say, you haven't seen John have yo-"

"I'll be out, Garrett." I said quickly, cutting him off, and hanging up a moment later. John offered an apologetic smile at me, before opening the door.

"I'll show up first, so we're not as-"

"Conspicuous?" I finished, and John nodded, before leaving me behind in the room by myself. My hand found it's way to my cheek, and all I could do was feel my face, where his breath had hit, where his hand had been. And all my brain could focus on was how much I wanted to punch Garrett Nickelsen at the moment.

----

I went outside a few minutes later, making sure to space out John's entrance from my own. Garrett's face lit up when he saw me, a grin spreading quickly to his face. He grabbed my hand almost immediately when I finally made my way over to him.

"I forgot how well you clean up, Junebug..." he murmured into my ear, looking over at the rest of the boys. I could feel John's eyes on me, and I quickly turned around to avoid them.

Maybe it was a good thing that Garrett called - I didn't want to get involved with John, not like that. He was just a good friend, a guy I could sit with and share a cigarette. Nothing more, nothing less. Why would he even be interested in someone like me? It made no sens-
"June, c'mon!" I heard Garrett yell, and I blinked. I had spaced out - a yellow cab was now parked by the curb, and Garrett was pulling me towards the door. sighing. "I swear, you can be so out of it sometimes..."

"What was that?" I asked, stubbornly, and all he did was quickly grin at me. I was sitting on the seat farthest right in the cab - Garrett to the left of me, and Kennedy on the other side of him. It was a quiet ride for the most part, with small talk being made every once in a while. I could tell Garrett was nervous, from the way he was holding my hand, to his lack of conversation for once. He was focused on something, though I couldn't exactly tell what.

The restaurant that Fearless had picked out was surprisingly nice - It was well kept from the inside out, with lovely work staff. We all sat at a giant table - Garett to the right of me, and John across from me - almost like he did it on purpose. I grabbed Garrett's hand under the table, giving it a tight squeeze. I didn't even want to look John in the face at the moment.

I ate in silence, if you could count picking at my salad as "eating". Usually I had a huge appetite, but a tight knot in my stomach replaced my usual sense of hunger. I was barely paying attention to the conversation that was going on between most of the members at our table. Garrett could probably tell something was wrong with me - I didn't want to worry him, or John, or anybody for that matter, so I ate as much as I could, before excusing myself to the bathroom, just to get away from the noise and the combustion.

When I got to the bathroom, I looked at myself in one of the mirrors for the longest time, trying desperately to calm myself down, believe that everything would be okay. I could just explain to John that it was a mistake, that we really shouldn't do anything, and that-

I felt the familiar buzz of my phone going off in my pocket. Of course Garrett's name and face were flashed across the screen, with a short text - "Are you feeling okay? Do you want to leave?"

I sighed, sending back a quick reply, telling him I'd be right out. I gave myself one last glance in the mirror, before heading back towards the table. I could feel John's eyes practically burning a hole on me as I sat down next to Garrett, immediately lacing my fingers with his own, trying to get my sense of security back.

We left soon after - the boys had a show to play, after all. When we got back, I got away from Garrett, and I quickly undressed, going back to bum casual - jeans and a tee, before heading outside and locking myself in the van. I laid down in the back section, pulled the covers over my head, and figured that I was going to call it a night. My head was spinning, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted John's lips on my own, and then how badly Garrett would react. Or maybe I didn't want anything to happen with John. It was a constant battle, back and forth, back and forth. And it took me a while, but eventually I dozed off, leaving all other thoughts behind me, into the night.