She's Got You High.

To say that the next few days were a challenge would be an understatement.

After the night where I woke up over in John's room, Garrett kept watch over me like a hawk - he wouldn't leave my side, unless it was absolutely necessary. Conversations with John in person were few and thin - however, thanks to the modern day marvel known as texting, we could still talk. But words on a cheap screen weren't the same thing. I missed John's voice, the way his hand fit with my own, and most of all - his lips upon my own.

The tour had made it's way into the very northern states - New York, and now Massachusetts. The drive to the venue in Boston had been uneventful, same with soundcheck. It was late in the afternoon - I was sitting in the dressing room next to Garrett, reading the news on my laptop - we had been in there for a while, and The Maine didn't go on stage for another 3-4 hours. John was on the other side of the room, and every once in a while we'd make eye contact - he'd smile at me, I'd blush.

I felt my phone vibrate from where it was sitting on the couch. I looked down, and saw the gleaming words "NEW TXT MESSAGE".

From: John
You look amazing today, just so you know.

If my cheeks were considered red moments before just because John smiled at me, I was sure they were burning off by this point. I hardly considered what I was wearing "amazing" - a baggy sweater, a pair of jeans, and my hair messily pulled into a bun completed the look. I didn't have time to re-apply makeup from the previous night, so I was sure it was smeared, caked on. I felt like a zombie.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, over analyzing myself, I didn't even feel Garrett stand up, or poking me, or calling my name for that matter.

"June!"

Finally, I snapped out of it, and looked up towards Garrett.

"Hm?"

"I said I was gonna go take a nap in the van. You gonna be fine by yourself?"

I nodded, giving him a small smile. He returned it, and then began to walk out of the room. I resumed reading my celebrity gossip on my laptop, and didn't think twice about Garrett leaving, until I could see someone faintly standing in front of me.

As soon as I realized who it was, I stood up, wrapping my arms around him. John smelled just like I remembered him, and let out a laugh as he squeezed me tightly.

"I've missed you..." he mumbled into my hair, and I attempted to nod. He let go of his grip, just enough so that we were facing each other, my arms still around his back. His left hand went to my cheek, his thumb tracing mindless patterns on my cheek. I made eye contact with him - and I knew what I wanted, more then anything else.

His lips connected with my own, then, and the butterflies that had been collecting in my stomach escalated. It had been 4 days too long, and I missed this more then I thought I ever would. It was like a natural high - and I never wanted to come down. I could feel him grin against my lips, as the kiss became deeper - excitement quickly giving way to desire. I was so thankful that the rest of the bands had gone out to eat, or were still soundchecking. I didn't want anyone coming in on this.

I didn't remember when exactly John pulled me down onto the couch, but he did - our lips now moving at a much faster pace then before. My hands found their way down his back, resting softly upon his hips. Things were moving so fast, but I didn't mind. The butterflies had been replaced by a pool of warmth down by the base of my stomach. I had never felt like this before.

John's lips disappeared from my own suddenly, and I let out a whimper of protest. I heard him laugh, before I felt his lips somewhere completely new - my jawline, and then they slowly made their way down to my neck. My grip on his hipbones suddenly tightened, and I didn't think things could get much better then this. One of his hands was now snaking it's way underneath my shirt, up towards my-

I didn't think I'd ever be one of those girls, but when that hand placed itself on top of my bra, and squeezed ever so softly, I lost it - his name finding it's way past my lips, suddenly. It wasn't a moan - but it was loud enough that he heard, and his mouth removed itself from my neck, where it had been busy just moments before. He had stopped practically everything, and was looking at me, both concern and curiosity in his eyes.

"Are you alright? Do you want me to stop? I mean, are you su-"

I cut him off by my lips meeting his own again, and we both smiled. I just knew that I wanted him, I wanted this and-

The sudden noise of the door handle twisting and turning caused both of us to jump. I didn't remember either of us locking the door, but I'm thankful that it was.

"Anybody in there?" I didn't recognize the voice as being someone from The Maine, thank god. John was busy making his hair look like I hadn't been attacking it, and I fixed my sweater, my fingertips tracing over my lips.

"Coming!" John yelled, standing up, and running towards the door. A minute later, a few members of Danger Radio came strolling in - thankfully, none of them even glancing over towards me. John followed a moment later, and sat back down next to me. I awkwardly shuffled around, refusing to look him in the face. I had never had my feelings overwhelm me like that - it was crazy, to say the least. I was embarrassed - I felt cheap, like a whore.

"You alright?" I heard his voice cut through my thoughts, and I looked over at him - did the last 10 minutes really just happen to us?

"I'm fine, really...just a bit-"

"Flustered?" he asked, and I nodded. His lips pressed themselves against my forehead a moment later, and I leaned my head on his shoulder, sighing softly to myself.

"It's alright, Junie. We can go as slow as you want to - I'm not pressuring you in any way. Not saying I didn't mind getting a feel or anything. I want you to be comfortable though. I want both of us to be comfortable."

If it had been anybody else to say that to me, I doubt I would've believed them - but John. John was different - he had never lied to me before. He was a gentleman in and out, and I found his hand, squeezed it tightly within my own. We were quiet then, with the conversation between the members of Danger Radio filling the room.

"But June," John started, and I looked up at him. "You might want to um, cover up your neck. In case Garrett sees."

I moved my free hand up to the spot on my neck where John's lips had been, and sure enough - I could feel a bruise starting to form. I guess I had been so focused on what John was doing beneath my shirt, that I never even noticed him getting so rough. I felt the red come flowing to my cheeks, as my fingers danced over the spot.

"Thanks, John..." I mumbled. He chose to laugh, however, and brought his lips down to my own, softly. But instead of relaxing into the kiss, all I could think about was what Garrett would do if he saw, if he walked in right now - if he found out. A nervous feeling formed in the root of my stomach, and my grip on John's hand tightened. He didn't say anything, as my head found it's way back to his shoulder.

I just needed to relax, right?

------

Pat was the first to find out.

When I was getting dressed after taking a shower 2 days later, the door opened unexpectedly. Clad in just my underwear and a bra, I guess he thought I was done getting changed. I screamed at him to get out, and Pat's eyes went wide, quickly shutting the door behind him, shouting apologies along the way.

It wasn't until later in the night, when Garrett was in the shower, that he brought it up. We were both watching TV silently, with no conversation between us. When his voice cut through a mindless commercial for cereal, I jumped slightly.

"So, June, I don't mean to sound rude - but who gave you the hickey?"

I was in the middle of devouring a Choco Taco that Garrett had brought me from Taco Bell, and I felt sick to my stomach. My heart froze. How did he even find out? The shower scene from earlier came to my mind, and I knew I had been caught. I had also been wearing scarves and turtlenecks night and day - I should've known someone would've suspected this.

"What are you talking about, Pat? There's-"

"There's a reason I brought it up now, June. I know Garrett would flip out, and possibly kill you. So just spill." He sounded serious, and I could hear my heart beating uncontrollably in my chest.

I remained silent, however - keeping my poker face as best as I could manage. I couldn't risk one person knowing, and then it spreading to the others, and then to Garrett himself.

"It was nobody, Pat, seriously."

"Bullshit. I promise I won't tell, June. I'm just looking out for you."

I thought about it for a moment. And then a few moments more - the tension in the room was thick. And finally, when I let the words slip out of my mouth, I felt like I had made a huge mistake.

"It was John." The words fell flat, and I watched, to see how Pat would react.

For the second time that night, his eyes widened. His mouth dropped open in shock, not sure of what exactly to say. And after a minute or two of stunned silence, he spoke again.

"How long has it been going on?"

I was unsure of what to say - how much to give away. I still wasn't sure that even telling him was the right decision to begin with. I was getting sick of telling him about everything - I ran a hand through my hair, trying to dissolve the tension I was feeling in my veins.

"A while, Pat. I don't know. Just...you promised, okay? Can we just let it go now?"

Pat nodded, and I sprang up from my bed, getting ready to go somewhere, anywhere, just so I could get away - clear my head. My hand was on the door handle, when I heard Pat call my name.

"June!"

I turned around, and saw he had stood up, off the bed he was sitting on moments before.

"Just...be careful, alright?" He asked, and I faked a smile. I had to play it cool.

"We are, Pat. You don't have to worry."

But inside my head, fear was running rampant. I didn't know what to say, or what to do - I didn't know if I should tell John or not. As I made my way down to the lobby, tears started flowing at some point or another. I just wanted to be back home, in warm Arizona, with no Garrett to watch me and judge me, and no John to love me or adore me. I just wanted to be alone.