Dead Lover's Lane

I could see him so clearly...I could even touch him. Then, he ripped my heart out of my chest.

My eyes shot open. "Jesus fucking Christ..." I muttered.

I looked over at the clock. 11 am?
Shit, it's a damn good thing I prepacked or else I'd be fucked! I have 2 hours until my plane leaves. That means I've got to leave soon.

I washed up and did some pill popping. Not much...only 6. I downed half a bottle of vodka.

Jimmy was driving me to the airport anyway. They'll let you on a plane a little buzzed.

Well, we piled into the car a bit later. Off to Philly which meant like an hours drive.

I have to admit to myself, I am ecstatic to be seeing Ville within 12 hours. I felt like a teenager again. The first time you go to your girlfriend's house. You have all these butterflies in yous stomach and you feel like your going to vomit.

I was nervous on top of all that. Nervous as to what's even going to happen.

I know what's happened in the past...
Normally good things. I smiled a bit at the thought of not being able to walk right for at least a day.

"Bambi," Jimmy said, "if you need me, I'll keep my cell on."

I nodded feeling like a teenager for the second time today.

"I mean, I can't fly to Finland of nothing, but I can talk to you."

"I know." I said. I swear he's like my mom or something.

Jimmy turned on the radio. "Don't mind do you?"

"No."

But, of course, I would be listening to a station that would be playing HIM. "Heartache Every Moment" alright...

"From lashes to ashes , And from lust to dust
In your sweetest torment, I'm lost
And no heaven can help us.
Ready, willing and able, To lose it all
For a kiss so fatal, And so warm.

Oh it's heartache every moment, From the start 'til the end.
It's heartache every moment, With you.
Deeper into our heavenly suffering, Our fragile souls are falling.
It's heartache every moment, Baby with you.

And we sense the danger, But don't wanna give up.
'Cause there's no smile of an angel, Without the wrath of god..."

I shut the radio completely off and held back tears.

As if life wasn't close enough to a musical.

xxx

I boarded the plane dodging glances. I'm sure seeing Bam Mar-fucking-gera this way will be great for all the paparazzi outside...

I called Ville quickly as I got to my seat.

"Hello?" Ville asked.

"Hey Ville, it's--"

"I know your voice and number, dear. Hello."

"I'm just getting on the plane. So, what time is it there?"

"4 pm."

"I should be there by ten I suppose."

"Right then. Be careful."

"Okay. I love you." I said on accident. "I mean, uh bye." I hung up.

"Please turn off all electronic devices."

I turned my phone off.

How can I be so stupid as to just blurt things out like that? Am I trying to make hell for myself?

I sunk back in my seat. This is gonna be a long ride.