Faulty Affection

For once I actually had the day off. Which was quite unfortunate for me. My therapist was constantly telling me to fill my time so my mind wouldn’t have time to drift into..unpleasant thoughts. I use to be so creative and fun. However, when I met Andrew my life became very technical. Which wasn’t entirely a bad thing. Andrew is a wonderful man. And I do have a lot of fun with him.

“Things are just different between us. That’s all. “ I said silently to myself.

I glanced at the clock. It was already noon. And yet I still had on my seventy five dollar slippers. I’ll never understand why Andrew insisted on these slippers. I don’t pay for shoes over fifty dollars. But that’s him I guess. Always has to have the best. Even if he forces it on you.

“He’s just concerned about me. that’s all.” I said. Trying to convince myself.

I walked into the computer room and fell into the chair. I quickly scanned through my email, which contained only junk mail from “friends” at work, and moved on. I pulled myself out of the chair and dragged my feet across the floor as if they weighed fifty pounds each. I walked towards the coffee table and grabbed my cell phone, searching for my therapist’s number. Since she was the only person I would say I was close to.

Ring….ring….ring…

“Hello?” Came the calm voice of my therapist, Aimee.
“Hello Aimee.” I said just as coolly.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Completely and utterly useless. It’s…”that day” and I’m stuck in my house.
“Well…why don’t you go for a jog. Or go out with some friends?”
“I don’t have friends Aimee. I have people that consider me worthy enough of getting a picture of their family for Christmas and then never speak to me again.”
“Oh that’s right…Well how about art? You’re very creative.”
“Andrew doesn’t think art is good for my psyche.”
“Well it is. Andrew doesn’t control you. I know just the way to get your frustrations out. Be dressed and ready by seven. I’ll come get you.”
“But Aimee!”
“No excuses! Goodbye Josephine!”

She hung up before I could utter another excuse. I rubbed my head and walked into the kitchen for some soup. The warm liquid would warm me up.

***

I pulled at the stray strands of hair as I stared at my reflection. I had on a large off white tunic and black tights with short gray boots. Andrew had bought me so many nice clothes. He was such a nice man. I dabbed on some Romance by Ralph Lauren and grabbed my purse. I felt odd going out. Most of my time consisted of working and spending time with Andrew. I saw Aimee’s beige Santa Fe sitting in my driveway.

I locked the doors and passed my flower garden rather quickly. When I got to the car I opened the door and got in. She had soothing classical music playing lightly in her car. Always thinking of me. I thought.

“Can’t we just stay here?” I said with a slight whine in my voice.
“No. You need to get your emotions out and this is the best way.” She said as she pointed to the back seat.

In the back seat was a dark brown acoustic Ibanez guitar. The wood was glossy and it had fresh strings.
“ Oh no Aimee! Please no!” I said pleadingly. But she was already stomping the gas.

The rest of the car ride was silent and awkward as I tried to protest without speaking. Aimee just drove with a slight smirk on her face. She was actually a great therapist and woman. It was odd not seeing her in the office though. Her light blonde hair was normally clipped back. But tonight she let her blonde curls dangle around her small round face. She was wearing a indigo knee length dress with white slip ons. She was actually very pretty. She just didn’t look right in a business suit.

“Well here we are!” Aimee said, sighing slightly.

I tried to look at the sign but all I saw was, “Open Mic Night!”

“Oh no.”