Love from, Hell

Malcolm's POV

Malcolm pressed his foot firmly on the accelerator. The car was already racing along, but he could still feel his impatience burning his mind. The quicker he got Julie to her destination, the sooner he could leave. He considered punching in the location for an airport on the GPS. Maybe he could cut this agonizing trip in half if he could fly her there.

That stunt at the gas station. Malcolm floored the accelerator. He could see Julie grip the door handle, frightened at his speed, but Malcolm had to ignore her. He tried to push the memory from his mind; to suppress it and then pretend successfully that it hadn’t happened. But that feat was proving to be difficult as it kept replaying itself annoyingly in his head.

The first time he’d ‘saved’ Julie it had been totally unintentional. Ripping down the road, he had only seen some idiot coming into his headlights a second too late. He’d watched the one fall off the side of his car and then only heard the second go flying up over his windshield. Malcolm had initially gotten out of the car to make sure he hadn’t actually killed them. Not that it really would have mattered. He was going to Hell anyway.

When he’d stepped out of the car and seen Julie, he put two and two together. And then the girl had to go and faint and look all pathetic and fragile. The two men had been ok. At least, they’d been breathing when he had looked at them while assisting Julie into the passenger’s seat. He hadn’t meant to save her, the scene had just happened to take place in his way. At the gas station…

Malcolm pealed around a corner, pulling the steering wheel easily. Julie braced herself against the car door. He’d seen that car coming and had just acted out of pure instinct and practicality. He couldn’t just let Julie go flying up over the car. She would have fared much worse then those other two guys. It was the practical, rational thing to do, Malcolm tried to tell himself. Gentlemanly even. There was nothing else to it, Malcolm attempted to convince angrily in his head. But it wasn’t working.

And the reason why he was annoyed. It was simple really. He didn’t want Julie to grow attached to him. He couldn’t have any baggage- he wanted to affect no one’s life. Saving this girl’s life twice was not helping his cause- so getting her away from him as soon as possible was what he had to do. Malcolm repeated this over in his head, building the case.

But, said a stupid little voice in his brain, you weren’t in this hurry the first time you saved her. Malcolm wished he could tell that stupid voice out loud to shut up. Something has changed, continued the little voice. Malcolm growled very quietly to himself. Nothing had changed!- roared the rational part of his mind. Why are you so angry then?- the little voice continued. Malcolm took another turn so sharply Julie was tossed to the left and would have ended up in his lap if her seat belt hadn’t held her in place. Thinking about this just made Malcolm even angrier.

Julie's POV

Julie was terrified- she would openly admit it. Malcolm was driving like a maniac. But this also made her more irritated and angry. It couldn’t be plainer that Malcolm wanted to be rid of her. Julie couldn’t believe that this had stemmed from the gas station incident- but there was no other conclusion. Pre gas station Malcolm had been completely devoid of emotion. Post gas station he was practically exploding with annoyance.

It made no sense! How could he have cared less about driving her across the state and rescuing her from rapists and then erupt with anger at pulling her out of the way of a speeding car? It was ridiculous was what it was. Maybe, Julie thought, she’d finally crossed some invisible line. Maybe it wasn’t just the one event; it could be the accumulation of all the events she was putting him through. Julie cringed. That was probably it.

But still- it didn’t quite add up. He’d hated her from the very start- before she had given him reason to not like her. Pushing aside the fact that now he had every reason to be annoyed with her- Julie felt guilty about that- he had still loathed her from the start. She could feel her frustration adding up fast. Her pathetic raging curiosity in him coupled with his rude and irrational actions toward her did not make a good combination for keeping her calm.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Julie blurted out angrily.

The car lurched to a complete stop. Julie was flung forward and was thankful for the seat belt that kept her in the car. She was pleased that her question had shocked him so much it had made him stop. But then she realized he’d stopped for a red light and felt embarrassed- surprised that he would stop for a red light.

However, Malcolm was staring at her. “Excuse me?” he asked, like he hadn’t heard what she’d said properly.

Julie wasn’t sure she had the guts to repeat herself, but forced the words out without the same emotion.

“Why do you, er, hate me?” she asked, losing her angry edge.

Malcolm frowned deeply. He looked pained and confused. The light turned green and Malcolm accelerated again, although this time, Julie noticed, he kept to the speed limit.

“Why would you say that?” Malcolm asked the windshield.

Julie felt incredibly awkward. She should have kept her mouth shut. But her brain was now shouting out the reasons, demanding answers. “Well, I mean… I was just wondering what it was I did, that made you not like me,” Julie said.

Malcolm blinked several times. “You didn’t do anything,” he said finally.

Julie snorted without thinking. This surprised Malcolm and he looked at her. She felt caught under his gaze.

“What?” he wanted to know.

“Um, well, I don’t really believe you,” Julie explained.

Malcolm frowned again, his handsome face pained. “Why not?” he demanded.

“Oh…uh…” Could she really accuse him of not liking her because of the way he acted? After all, his recent heroic actions indicated otherwise- the cowardly part of her brain said. Maybe it was all her head. But another smaller but still persistent part of her told her that she hadn’t made it up.

“I must have done something. Did I offend you or… or… am I making you do too much?” Julie began, unsure. “I mean, I just can’t see why you are acting… I mean being so, um, antagonistic towards me.”

“And I just… I’m sorry for what I did whatever it was. I just want to know what it was I did,” she finished lamely.

Malcolm looked at her again. His eyes were boring down on her, as though trying to see through her. Julie felt incredibly self conscious and could feel her cheeks turn pink.

“Julie,” he began.

Julie felt her heart flutter up like a hummingbird’s into her throat when he said her name.

“You didn’t do anything. I-” Malcolm paused again and looked back out at the road. “I apologize, if I came off… like an antagonist,” he said.

Julie stared at him. “Are you sure?” she asked him quietly.

“Yes I’m sure,” Malcolm said impatiently.

Julie had to suppress a sudden rush of laughter at his tone, and was shocked at herself for suddenly finding him funny. But a giggle escaped out of her mouth anyway. Malcolm looked at her, frowning.

“Sorry,” she apologized quickly, composing herself.

Malcolm frowned more and looked back at the road. Julie pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. They continued to drive in silence. As Julie calmed down, her raging curiosity got the better of her.

“So, then what is it?” Julie asked timid, but insanely interested.

Malcolm frowned again. “What is what?” he asked, patiently now, though.

“What is it that… is bothering you?” Julie explained. She felt incredibly nosy; it was none of her business. She looked away; feeling embarrassed, but then glanced at Malcolm anyway.

He was doing that thing, where he seemed like he hadn’t heard her. But Julie was learning pretty quickly that this was simply very good acting. At least she thought maybe he was acting…

“It’s… nothing,” he said finally, as though choosing the word carefully.

Julie nodded, completely unsatisfied by his answer. She wondered if Malcolm could tell.

“It’s nothing that you did or said,” Malcolm continued. “It’s not your fault.”

Julie looked away to hide her smile. They were driving through town again, off the highway. Julie let the conversation hang there for as long as she could, letting it sink in that he wasn’t angry with her.

“So you don’t… not like me?” she asked, trying to joke gently, but she actually was concerned.

Malcolm paused for a moment, deciphering, Julie realized embarrassed, her poor grammar.

“No. It’s not that I… don’t like you,” Malcolm said.

Julie was glad that it was dark now and he couldn’t see her blush. If it wasn’t that he did not like her then the opposite of that was that he did… actually… Julie forced herself to stop the thought. She couldn’t get carried away.