Love from, Hell

Malcolm's POV

Malcolm very slowly pulled up to the curb in front of Julie’s parents’ home. The rest of the hours in the car had been completely silent. Just like Malcolm had wanted, in theory.

What he hadn’t anticipated was hurting Julie’s feelings. He’d never in his life managed to hurt anyone’s feelings since no one had ever offered vulnerable enough feelings to hurt. It took a few hours of serious thought to figure out that he’d hurt her- that the new atmosphere in the car was defeated and upset. Julie took it gracefully, didn’t stew angrily or cry.

Once Malcolm had discovered that he'd hurt her, a sudden wave of unrecognizable emotion had erupted over him. He felt… guilty; remorseful, regretful, and generally disappointed with himself. Although he kept his face and body language composed, inwardly he was battling with this new powerful feeling. Why did he feel so disturbingly guilty at hurting Julie’s feelings? Really, it was the best thing for him… and for her if they just weren’t anything. Not friends, not acquaintances, nothing. That was the absolute truth.

And even though his brain knew this full well, it still kept trying to think of ways to make it up to her. Malcolm felt that anger returning. Because why he should want to make her feel better was something he had to stamp out of his system before it became real. He kept this emotion under control, gritting his teeth to keep from turning his car into a bullet again.

When he pulled into Cedar Falls, Malcolm felt very out of place- but was also mildly curious. He’d never been in a place like this. Every house was neat and welcoming- every lawn well kept. What really made him feeling alienated was the feeling he was getting from Julie. Julie felt overwhelmingly relaxed and eager to be in this place. It was so foreign to him. Malcolm gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment then pulled up alongside Julie’s parents’ warm home. He looked at the house and felt like ice was slipping down his throat. He had to get out of this place and these feelings.

Julie's POV

Julie took a deep breath as she looked out past Malcolm at her parents’ home. Her home. They’d lived here for 10 years and counting now. Julie loved this place and realized just how much she’d missed her home while she’d been away at school. Julie looked at Malcolm. He was staring at her house too. Julie leaned back in her seat and slowly unhooked her belt. Malcolm turned to her.

“Well… thank you. For everything. I don’t know how I’ll pay you back…” Julie began.

Malcolm looked away out the windshield. “Don’t think of it,” he said and he sounded like he meant it quite literally- like he wanted her to forget about it completely.

Julie nodded awkwardly. “Well, good bye,” she said and she could hear the slight sadness in her voice. She slid out of the car and walked around the front of it.

Julie could feel Malcolm watch her as she hurried up her driveway to the front door. Julie smiled in spite of herself. It felt so good already to be back here. She rang the doorbell twice.

Her mother opened the door. Julie grinned at the sight of her mom, her laugh lines and permanently short, ash blonde hair, and her mom beamed back.

“Julie! Hey honey!” she exclaimed, opening the screen door and hugging her daughter tightly on the front porch. Julie hugged her back. Her mom released her, looking thrilled to pieces.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you. How did you get here?” her mom asked curiously. Julie painfully remembered Malcolm.

“Um,” she began.

Her mother looked past her. “Is that your friend? Did he drive you? Wow what a car.”

Julie turned quickly. Malcolm’s car was still humming quietly at the curb, waiting, Julie supposed, for her to go in the house. Friend, Julie thought acidly, was not the word.

“Yeah he drove me,” she admitted looking back at her mom.

Her mother looked at her, eyes widening. “All that way? Invite him in, Julie,” she said hospitably.

Before Julie could stop her, her mother waved at Malcolm kindly, gesturing for him to come. Julie looked over her shoulder again and wondered if Malcolm would just drive away. But she wasn’t surprised when the car turned off silently and Malcolm stepped out of the vehicle. Of course he would torture her a little longer.

“Wow. Is he… just a friend?” her mother asked, eying her daughter speculatively.

Julie sighed. She wanted to start forgetting how handsome Malcolm was, not be reminded.

Malcolm walked up the driveway and stood carefully behind Julie.

“Hi, I’m Heather Ennis,” Julie’s mother introduced herself.

Julie glanced back at Malcolm. He extended his hand.

“Hello. I’m Malcolm,” he replied; polite, but distant as always.

Julie’s mom smiled. “Please come in. That’s a long drive from the university,” Heather invited stepping aside to omit them to the house.

Julie walked in immediately and took a deep breath, smelling the clean familiar smell of her home. She heard Malcolm step in behind her. It was impossible to say no to her mother- she was too sincere. She shut the door and waved for them to follow her.

“Where are your bags, Julie?” her mother asked curiously.

Right, no luggage. “It was… kind of a spur of the moment decision to come here,” Julie explained.

Heather frowned a little, contrasting with her usual cheerful, smile lines. She led them into the kitchen and gestured for them to sit. Julie plunked down into a chair in the kitchenette and touched the table, feeling the smooth finish. Malcolm sat carefully and rested his arm casually on the table.

“Spur of the moment to drive out here? You’re lucky Malcolm could drive you all this way. Are you hungry?” Heather asked them as she began bustling around the kitchen.

Julie squirmed- yes she was very lucky Malcolm had taken her here. “Do you have any thawed apple strudel, mum?” she asked hopefully.

Her mother quickly scooped the container out of the fridge. “Would you like some Malcolm? I make it myself. I’ve had a lot of time to finally get ahead on my baking since my kids have been all grown up out of the house,” she said.

Julie glanced tentatively at Malcolm.

“A little, thank you,” Malcolm accepted.

Julie got caught up in staring at Malcolm, admiring him against her will. He looked so strikingly dark and good-looking sitting at her table. The contrast of mysterious dark Malcolm and her familiar home setting meshed well. Everything seemed to go well with Malcolm. Julie looked away and tried to focus on her mother.

“Where’s Dad?” Julie asked curiously.

Heather put their two plates in the toaster oven and pressed some buttons. “Oh, he’s up at the hardware store. He positive that there is a nest of crows up on the roof, you know near the chimney…” she said, pointing toward the chimney. “They’ve been squawking at five in the morning and so he wants to knock the nest off the roof and be rid of them, thank goodness. Anyway, he has to get a new ladder, because you know the red one-” Heather came around to the table and gave Malcolm and Julie the two plates of food.

Julie looked gratefully down at her large portion of pastry.

“-it’s not tall enough. It only reaches the windows. So apparently we need a taller ladder,” Heather said with a sigh and sat down at the table. “I’ll be glad to have those crows gone, but really your father climbing up on that roof gives me the heebie jeebies,” she finished.

Julie dug into her strudel and popped a large forkful in her mouth. From a peripheral peak she could see Malcolm take a smaller, more experimental bite. Julie noticed he must have previously mastered using a fork.

“How is it?” Julie’s mother asked them.

“Ace, mum.” Julie mumbled through her mouthful of food.

“It’s delicious,” Malcolm agreed quietly.

Julie saw Malcolm give her mom one his small smiles. She looked at her mother and saw her turn a little pink. Julie grinned as her mom stood flustered.

“I’m glad you like it,” Heather said and went to the fridge.

“Can I have some milk please?” Julie called.

Her mother pulled the carton from the fridge. “Malcolm would you like a drink?” she asked.

Julie looked at him. He looked up.

“Just water thank you,” Malcolm requested.

Heather poured the drinks and handed the glasses to them. Julie smiled at her mom. She’d clearly been missing mothering children. She sat down next to Julie and the two chatted a little about school. Malcolm was quiet, and Julie noticed that he ate up her mother’s strudel quickly.

Julie heard the back door open and slam. She leapt up.