Love from, Hell

Julie slept in late the next morning, reluctant to open her eyes. Her bed was too comfortable, and her hair would need a shower, and her fantastic dream would go away. Malcolm was kissing her on the roof and it was so fantastic, and highly detailed for a dream. In fact, it was overly detailed and Julie wondered if she hadn't dreamed it and merely imagined the scene to perfection. She opened her eyes.

The sky was pearl gray today, a thin layer of clouds over the sun. Julie was hit with a more acute memory of the wedding. She was pretty sure everything was real up until the last dance. No, that had been real too, because he'd led her over to say good bye to Connie after that. And the smell of Malcolm, she couldn't have made that up: it was too potent and unlike anything she'd smelled before. It had all been real.

Julie sat up, her body feeling flushed and heavy. Her heart was pounding blood into her shocked limbs. Malcolm had kissed her on the roof! That really happened! Her mind sung at her. She had no idea what would happen next, what today would bring, but she couldn't wait to see Malcolm. She bounded out of bed and went to the bathroom and quickly washed her face and pulled her hair back. Then she lightly jogged down the stairs.

Her mother was at the kitchen table, eating raspberries and doing a crossword. Her father was sitting there too, sipping a huge mug of coffee and reading another part of the newspaper.

"Morning," Julie breathed at her parents.

"Good morning, Jules. There's some coffee there," Her dad said to her and turned a page in his newspaper. Her mom looked up at Julie from her crossword.

"Good morning hon. Could you get Malcolm and then you two pick some lettuce for sandwiches?" Heather requested. "It's nearly noon," She finished. Julie blinked and looked at the microwave. She couldn't believe it was so late.

"Get Malcolm?" Julie asked, frowning at her mom. Heather was doing the crossword again.

"He's upstairs. I haven't seen him all morning," She said. Julie froze for a moment and then quickly walked up the stairs, leaving her coffee. She walked down the hallway and knocked on Kyle's door. There was no reply. Julie bit her lip and opened the door. It was empty. She walked into the room. The bed was perfectly made exactly how her mother would have made it. Julie looked in the hamper. A small, carefully placed layer of Kyle's clothes lay in it. Malcolm's leather jacket was gone.

Her heart pounding, Julie crossed the room and pushed back Kyle's curtains and looked out on to the front yard. Malcolm's car was gone. Julie turned around and tried to calm her breathing but it was powerfully speeding up into hyperventilation. The clothes in the hamper, all of Malcolm's original clothes gone, no one had seen him, and of course the absence of his car. Malcolm had left. And Julie could feel, heavy and awful in her heart that this time he meant to disappear for good.

Malcolm's POV
Malcolm was racing along roads he didn't recognize. He was too impatient to get back to Hell the way he'd left it, and so he was waiting until he got to a high enough ledge on the mountain's highway so that he could just spin the steering wheel and go off the edge. He'd get to Hell quicker if he killed himself and would gladly take all the torture that awaited him. He deserved every bit of it now.

Julie's POV
Julie sat down on Kyle's bed that night, and confronted the fears she had been smothering all day. They came up on her one at a time, but still quickly became too much to handle. She put her head in her hands. What had she done? Why would Malcolm leave? Was there someone else? Had she been a toy to him? Had he used her and now left her wounded? Was it because of something she did? Had she…

Julie snapped her head up and wanted to smack herself. Why was she blaming herself? She had done nothing but be caring and kind to Malcolm. Suddenly, healthy anger flared up in her chest. This was a more rational reaction and Julie was almost happy for it. Malcolm may have been handsome and mysterious and brilliant… getting off track. He may have had some nice qualities, but he had been right. This kind of unreasonable and rash behavior was inexcusable.

Julie stood up and began pacing the room. He'd kissed her. Did this mean that had he led her on? Did Malcolm like her? What kind of signals was this jerk sending? Even though her brain gladly ranted such thoughts, it went against the grain thinking of Malcolm as anything but amazing. Julie gritted her teeth though. She was too nice and forgiving, that was her problem. Maybe Malcolm had an explanation for why he'd run off, but it would have had to be a damn good one. He'd held her close, spent all that time with her, kissed her passionately on her private roof.

She stomped on the ground. She was glad he was gone. If this was his true shifty nature, Julie wanted nothing to do with Malcolm. She held her head up and walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door smartly behind her. If Malcolm was this flighty and inconsiderate, it was a good thing he was gone. She never wanted him to come back! Julie thought dramatically.

Of course, this wasn't entirely true: in all honesty, Julie wouldn't have turned him away without talking to him if Malcolm did return. But Julie couldn't let Malcolm or anyone walk all over her. She wasn't that kind of person to lie down and take it. Although deep down, her missing Malcolm pained her bones, Julie had more self respect than to blither on and put all the blame on her shoulders.

So Julie was very busy the next few days. She threw herself into chores around the house. And although her parents didn't give up the questions about Malcolm, Julie answered in curt monosyllabic replies and then would take over whatever task her mom or dad was doing. Julie also checked her email and answered the back log of mail from her college friends in Cancun.

She took her mom's sedan and drove around town, running errand after errand gladly and when her parents ran out of things for her to do, Julie invented her own. She took it upon herself to hose down the deck and clean the den from top to bottom and polish her mother's slightly rusted silverware. Julie was pathetically OCD and knew it full well, but continued on anyway, enjoying her productivity.

On Wednesday night, when things to do on her own were seriously drying up, Julie gave in and called up Matt. He was glad to go out with her to grab a movie and McDonald's. Julie insisted on driving and went to pick him up at his house. She held back a sigh while he came hurrying down the driveway and then ducked into the sedan.

"Hey Julie," Matt grinned at her. Julie smiled back with effort.

"Hey Matt," She replied less enthusiastically. Matt didn't care. He chattered on with her while she drove them to the Cineplex. They parked and walked into the movie theater. Matt insisted he pay for their tickets and Julie only gave in because she didn't want to fight with him. Julie bought them popcorn though.

They sat through an OK horror flick, scarfing down their popcorn and sipping their Coke noisily. When it was over, Matt subtly took Julie's hand when they stepped back out into the light of the Cineplex lobby. He blinked and squinted. Julie let him hold her hand, but imagined it must have looked strange because she still kept a distance from him. Matt didn't seem to care as long as he was holding her hand.

Julie drove them through McDonald's and he bought a double cheeseburger meal. Julie ordered a chocolate milkshake. She drove a short distance to a lit up baseball park. The trees were really nice there, so she parked and leaned back in her seat, sipping her milkshake. Matt ate his McDonald's with vigor, as if the large popcorn had been a minor blip in the quest to satisfy hunger. He asked her about college and Julie gave him the rundown of what it was like bunking at KU with roommates. He seemed intrigued.

"How come you decided not to do college?" Julie asked him conversationally, gulping down her thick shake.

"I dunno. I was stupid at first, thinking I hated school and I would just work my way up in the world," Matt said, polishing off his burger. "But now that everyone's been in school for awhile and I've actually become a working stiff, I sort of wish I'd taken a different route," He confessed a little anciently and took a sip of his coke.

"You could still go back you know. There's like all ages in first level classes, it isn't as awkward as people think it will be," Julie told him. Matt put his coke down and looked at her.

"Really? If I went to KU, would you show me around?" Matt asked. Julie shrugged.

"Sure," She replied with a smile. Matt wrinkled his nose.

"I'm too stupid though. Could you tutor me if I was failing?" He asked her. Julie laughed humorlessly.

"Depended on what subject you need tutoring in. I'm terrible at math," She told him. Matt grinned while he looked at her.

"Yeah? I'm sure you could tutor me in something else…" He trailed off. Julie swallowed a mouthful of chocolate milkshake painfully.

"English maybe. I'm doing pretty good in that," Julie said casually, trying to ignore Matt staring at her while she looked determinedly out the windshield.

"Or psychology. I got an A on my final paper," She plowed on, resting a hand on the steering wheel. Matt chuckled and kept staring at her.

"What about Biology?" He wanted to know. Julie tightened her grip on her the steering wheel slightly.

"Mmm, not taking it. High school biology bored me enough," She babbled roughly and she clutched the steering wheel a little more. Matt shifted next to her raising his arm.

"Are you alright?" He asked her in a chuckle and placed his hand over hers on the steering wheel.

"Yeah. 'Course," Julie shrugged off, glancing at him.

"You're white knuckling the steering wheel," Matt informed her. Julie immediately made her hand limp and slip off the steering wheel. Matt caught her hand in his.

"I might not be an overly educated guy, but I can tell something's bothering you," He persisted.

Julie chewed on her lip and leaned her arm against the door, holding her head in her hand.

"It's… well it's… Malcolm I guess," Julie hedged. Although he probably was partially responsible for all her odd behavior, Julie felt guilty blaming everything on him.

"What happened?" Matt asked guardedly, pulling his hand away, but turned to face her in his seat.

"I'm not sure really. He's kind of disappeared off the face of the earth," Julie said with a dark casualness.

"You two aren't together are you?" Matt asked. Julie felt bad when his tone sounded hurt, but he also sounded a little angry.

"… no. We aren't. But we were… friends. Sort of…" Julie trailed off. "Either way, he just left suddenly with no explanation and I haven't… um, talked to him since he disappeared," She finished. Matt was quiet for a second.

"That's not good. It made you sad," He observed. Julie shrugged, although it was plaguing her severely.

"Come on Julie. Don't be sad," Matt consoled and touched her shoulder. Julie looked at him apprehensively, raking her hand through her hair. Matt shifted in his chair, leaning closer to Julie. She raised her eyebrow slightly, so that only she knew she was doing the action.

"I could help you feel better. Tutor you…" He trailed off, his voice thick. He was leaning closer and it was only when he was an inch from her face did Julie realize what he doing.

"Oh, er Matt?" She said awkwardly, but placed a firm hand on his chest stopping him from continuing.

"What?" He breathed.

"You're a sweet guy and all," Julie began, feeling like an utter jerk. Matt's eyes flashed suspiciously at her.

"I don't get it…" He said, frowning a little. Julie swallowed with difficulty. Matt was nice, and sweet, and pretty cute. Julie wouldn't have gotten it either: but she did know that she was absolutely obsessed with Malcolm. It scared her to wonder how long it would take until she was over him.

"I'm sorry, Julie," Matt apologized politely and leaned away. Julie blinked, refocusing.

"It's ok. I'm… sorry too," She said and cringed a little inwardly.

"Do you think things'll get better for you?" Matt wanted to know. Julie paused and then turned the ignition in the key.

"I hope so," She sighed honestly and backed out of the parking lot. Matt grinned.

"Cool. I like you, Julie," He said straightforwardly. Julie glanced at him, startled.

"I want things to be good for you," Matt finished. Julie made herself smile.

"Thanks," She mumbled. She drove him back to his house and sat back in her seat, and looked at him awkwardly, waiting for him to get out of the car. Matt smiled at her.

"Call me if you want. I'll be around chilling, waiting," Matt told her. Julie felt bad that he was promising her that, but she didn't know what to say. No forget about me because I'm a big jerk? Hmm, yeah she probably could have said that.

"I'll see ya," Julie said thickly. Matt climbed out of the car and walked up to his house, turning and waving back at Julie. Julie turned and sped off back to her home. She grumbled quietly to herself while she drove down the wet roads. A light rain was picking up. Julie turned down her street and absent mindedly drove up to her house. She was about to pull into her driveway when she slammed on her brakes.

Sitting there by the curb was Malcolm's car.