Love from, Hell

Malcolm could tell Julie felt tense and awkward in the silence. But after an hour she surprised him when he felt the atmosphere calm. He glanced at her and saw that she was relaxed in her seat, gazing out the window. He couldn’t recognize the feeling at first. He was driving down the empty highway and the noon sun was directly overhead. The car’s temperature was cool of course and the tinted windows kept the sun’s harsh glare out. Malcolm gripped the steering wheel with one hand tightly for a moment, confused by the atmosphere. Then it came to him. She was comfortable.

Hell had many temporary comforts and pleasures- pride, conquest, sexual. But this kind of comfort was not like anything Malcolm knew. This was some kind of peaceful comfort. And Malcolm realized as he easily maneuvered his car around a long bend, that he was feeling the comfort too. Malcolm tried to shake off how just the knowledge that he was comfortable made him feel strange and not in control. How did all these people deal with this? But being comfortable has a way of calming you down and Malcolm let himself give in to feeling comfortable so he blinked and relaxed his muscles a bit in his seat.

The seats were made from some sort of leather meets synthetic material. It looked like the kind of material that absorbed heat and released cool air. Like those expensive sweat socks that soaked up sweat and left your skin feeling fresh. Julie had spent the first leg of the trip looking at the car’s interior, pretending like she wasn’t sitting on pins and needles. She tried to think of conversation and even when she did happen to come up with a not completely stupid question she struggled with the notion of whether or not Malcolm would receive the question. So she ended up saying nothing and instead took in the silver lines on the dashboard.

Once she’d established that she couldn’t figure out where the time piece was in the car and that the buttons and dials wouldn’t tell her how to tune the radio, Julie let herself drift off and look out her window at the scenery. Eventually she became relaxed and felt herself drift off into that familiar place of imaginative thought.

Right now, she was thinking about Native Americans. She didn’t usually give much thought to them- having grown up in a predominantly white neighborhood with an unworldly sense of close knit community. But right now as she was looking at the trees and the hills, she was romanticizing Native Americans- thinking about some lone warrior trekking through these woods silently; maybe off on one of those soul searching, coming of age missions. Julie didn’t have much else to add on to the little fantasy so she moved on to think about jack rabbits, when her stomach grumbled quietly.

Yanked back to reality, Julie’s face flushed but she tried to pretend she hadn’t heard it, although she was sure Malcolm had. She didn’t know how much time had passed but she gathered that it was well into lunch time. Malcolm didn’t make a sound but got off the highway at the next exit and pulled up to a sandwich shop. He got out and Julie quickly followed him to the restaurant. He stood in line, gazing uninterested up at the menu above the counter. Julie looked also- trying to pick something that was cheap. When it was their turn, Malcolm went up to the counter then turned and looked at Julie. His eyes were so blue; Julie swore she was drowning in them.

“What can I get you today?” The pretty cashier asked Malcolm.

Malcolm acted like she hadn’t spoken and waited for Julie.

“Um, the roasted turkey club. And a small coke please,” Julie said.

The cashier tucked her blonde hair behind one ear and punched in the order. “What about you?” she smiled at Malcolm.

He looked at her with such an intensely bored expression that Julie had to stifle a smile. It seemed that Malcolm didn’t like anyone.

“A regular coke,” he said.

The cashier faltered at his expression but kept going. “That’s it?” she asked like she was worried about him.

Julie looked at Malcolm amused. ‘He doesn’t eat, he’s a robot’ she thought. Malcolm simply nodded at the cashier in reply. She gave him the total and Malcolm handed over the money without hesitation then stepped to the side. Julie followed. Malcolm leaned lightly against the counter and looked around at the crowd. Julie looked up at Malcolm. He watched everyone openly but managed to do it without staring. However, Julie was definitely staring at Malcolm, but he didn’t look at her.

A few moments later, their food came. Malcolm took the tray without hesitation and walked to a table and waited. Julie couldn’t get used to his strange approach to manners. He didn’t ask her where she wanted to sit, but she guessed he would always wait for her to take her seat before he did. Julie sat down. Malcolm took his coke from the tray and Julie unwrapped her sandwich from its paper. She took a bite. It was a little soggy from the tomato but otherwise good. She watched Malcolm take a sip from his coke. She was pretty sure that all his diet consisted of was liquids and nicotine.

“Thank you,” she remembered, putting down her sandwich.

He looked at her and nodded. His eyelashes were long and dark. Julie took a sip of her coke and looked down at the napkins.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” she asked the table suddenly. Julie looked up at Malcolm.

He was swishing his cup around in his hand a little. “I’m fasting," he replied.

Julie smiled and then tried to press it back. She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. “What for? I mean why?” she asked. Why did all of her questions sound completely idiotic?

Malcolm sipped his coke and didn’t answer. Julie felt a little confused. That, she was pretty sure, wasn’t such a personal question for him to shut down about. But then she thought of how people fasted because their parents had just died and stuff like that and she felt embarrassed again. She finished her sandwich and coke in silence. When they were done, Malcolm took the tray and set it above the trash can and went outside. Julie followed him. At the curb he stopped and took out a cigarette.

“That’s really bad for you, you know,” she told him and shoved her hands in her sweater’s pockets.

Malcolm blew smoke from his mouth. “I didn’t know. Thank you,” he said quietly.

Julie looked at him and sensed that, for some reason, he wasn’t making fun of her. She smiled a little. “I mean smoking on an empty stomach is especially bad for you," Julie elaborated.

Malcolm looked down at Julie from the corner of his eyes. “Why the concern for my diet?” he asked.

Julie noted that this was the first conversational question he had asked her. Julie shrugged one shoulder a little. “You might get really sick,” she said and wondered if he would stoop to a ‘why do you care?’

But he didn’t. Instead he took his preferred silent route. Julie scratched her neck the put her hand back in her pocket. Then took her hand out again and scratched her neck again. It was really itchy. She heard a buzz by her ear and saw a bee fly across her face.

“Ah!” she exclaimed and waved her hands at the bee. But it flew over to the back of her head. Julie ducked but she could still hear it buzzing around her hair.

“Hold still.” The command turned Julie into a statue. She watched Malcolm swipe away the bee in one movement.

“Thanks. I’m allergic to bees, actually,” Julie said smoothing her hair and giving Malcolm a grateful look

“When were you first stung?” he asked.

“I’ve never been,” Julie said immediately, surprised that he had asked her another question.

Malcolm looked at Julie. “Then how do you know you’re allergic?” he said then started walking to the car.

“Um,” Julie began and hurried after him. “I got bit by a spider once on my wrist and it swelled up and made me break out in a rash so my mother took me to the doctor. They took a couple tests and I’m allergic to bee stings and spider bites,” Julie explained climbing into the car after Malcolm.

He turned the car on and it immediately hummed powerfully to life.

“You can see the scar from the bite on my wrist," Julie said and lifted her hand from the seat.

Malcolm glanced at it.

“And I’m actually terminally allergic to fire ants," she continued.

Malcolm nodded and drove out of the parking lot.

“Literally it’s over for me if they bite me,” Julie confessed. She couldn’t think of a less romantic and lamer conversation then this one.

Malcolm looked at Julie then back at the road and turned on to the highway. Silence passed for a few minutes.

“What happens if you touch one?” Malcolm asked.

Julie looked at him, surprised. “I break out into hives and my tongue turns purple?" she tried.

Malcolm smiled and Julie thought she could actually hear her heart beat faster. “No way,” he accused and looked at her.

Julie raised her eyebrows, pretending to be calm while her heart raced. “You don’t believe me?” she challenged.

Malcolm looked at the road and shook his head.

“Yeah, you’re right. Nothing happens when I just touch one.” Julie admitted, looking out at the road also.

Malcolm gave one involuntary laugh and Julie could definitely feel her heart move to hummingbird speed as the beautiful chuckle washed over her.