Tension.

With the feelings of fingers on the top of my spine, I get goosebumps. legitimate goosebumps. Warm, friendly embraces seem to metamorphosis into so much more so quickly. It seems as just yesterday we had never met once before in our lives, and we went along just fine. But now, we can’t go a day without meeting up somewhere, seeing each other, talking. It seems as if my day isn’t complete unless iIve seen your face or heard your voice. It’s just weird without you.

With the feeling of something unfamiliar in my hair, I freeze as you twist strands around your fingers. Running your hands through, I feel happy, even though I should stop this before we both do something we’ll regret. To ruin a friendship so lovely and to soil something so amazing would be pure murder. But you can’t seem to help yourself and I can’t seem to stop you.

Shameless flirt you are, you grin at me and I have to look away, because I straight up refuse to get sucked into what so many others are.

“You’re really pretty.”, you say, but I try to ignore the words. shaking like I’d never felt like this before, like I’d never felt attracted to you. I have, I’m not going to lie. that time we almost held hands on my couch when it was just you and me, no one else, it was what some might call electrifying.

You’re such a pretty face, with such bad intentions.

Your arms slink around me in a hug, but not a normal hug. This isn’t a friendly embrace. You’re staring into my eyes with those lovely orbs and I’m taken. I want to look away but I’m completely in a trance, and I want to feel nothing so horribly bad but I can’t. I can’t stop feeling things.

You could cut the tension in this room with a knife.

Out of my mind, to the far left, was the feeling of perplexmxent as I wondered where everyone else in the room had gone. That’s when I noticed the door shut, and no one here. I didn’t even notice you shut the door. I didn’t even know anyone left.

“You set me up.” was all I could say. You kept looking at me with those pretty light orbs and that adorable grin and I was back to being in a trance, with your hypnotic ways that you must practice in front of the mirror every night.

“You know, I always promised myself I wouldn’t fall for you,” you started off, “I always promised myself that I could find someone else because I didn’t want to ruin, well, this.” It was like you were telling me it was against your will to even like me.

“And?” I ask, waiting for you to continue your declaration. You just keep smiling at me as you’ve trapped me in the prison of your embrace.

“And I hate to say it, but I did.”

“Oh, so you hate to admit that you might have fallen for someone that isn’t up to your standards?” Offended, I stand, wanting to put my hands on my hips, but you’ve trapped my arms.

“No, I just didn’t want to ruin this.” you say sheepishly, rubbing my arms, looking into my eyes and attempting to make me melt under your hypnotic trance. But stubbornly, I stood my ground and refused.

“This, right now, in this particular juncture, isn’t what you’d be ruining.” I said. “This is completely different from everyfuckingthing we’ve ever been through.”

“But this, right now, is what I want.” you insist. You switch it up and pull me closer to you. Our hips are touching and my brain is screaming at me, you don’t want this. You don’t want this.

Pull away.

I try to tug back with the least force I could. Honestly, all I wanted to do was rest my head on your shoulder. But I wouldn’t give in. I couldn’t ruin what we had.

“Please, let me.” you begged like a child asking to go somewhere. I mouthed “no” to you.

“But I lo-like you. a lot.” you said, stammering on the “like” part. “You’re beautiful.”

If you weren’t so adorable and weren’t such a sweet talker, this whole denial thing would be so much easier.

“You need to stop. I’m not who you want.” I insist, like an innocent man about to be executed.

“Yes you are.” you say, softly. I look away, but you pull my attention back to you, to look you directly in the eyes. You pull my face towards yours, and with one moment, everything changed. Things that I wondered about for a while were coming true. I wanted this, I couldn’t deny it. Soft lips on soft lips, bare on chapstick layered. Close to open, tongue enthralled in tongue.

Destroying the innocent beauty of a flirtatious friendship.

Skin on skin, bone on bone. Guilt dripping with resentment and lust filled desires that just seem to creep into your head when things like this happen.

Fate is just something you can’t deny.