Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

Ok. I was, like, marginally drunk. It turned out that the bottle in the brown paper bag was not whiskey, it was Malibu rum. We settled in Harold's games room and Cora handed out the shots of liquor. Minnie, since she's all brave and junk, openly said she didn't know how to take a shot. Cora explained it to her and, I think, all of us were listening very carefully:

1.) You just gotta relax your mouth and throat.

2.) And toss the liquor to the back of your throat. Don't let the liquor stay on your tongue cuz the taste burns and it'll make you gag. That's what happened to Clarissa her first shot. It was freaking hilarious.

3.) If you can, try and not gulp the liquor in one blob. Stream it out. I can't, I can't really explain it. You have to let the liquor go down in a stream, not a gulp. Cuz then again: the gagging.

Cora was a freaking pro at taking shots and swallowing the rum. It hinted at possible oral sex skills and I noticed that in my drunken state but it didn't bother me that much. Because I was drunk and everything.

Hehe. Blowjob. Hahaha!

So then we broke out the beer and coolers. Me and the guys, I think, felt the pressure to drink the beer. The girls willy nilly drank the coolers and beer, whichever they wanted. Max stole lots of sips of coolers from Clarissa's coolers, and I stole from Cora, and Harold and Minnie shared co-operatively.

Eventually, I got to being that marginally drunk that I spoke of, um, before. Me, Harold, and Max started playing Rock Band and since alcohol had gotten rid of our inhibitions we were taking that shit really seriously. It was crazy awesome. I played the guitar, Harold was on drums, and Max was the lead singer.

"A modern day warrior; Mean, mean stride; Today's Tom Sawyer; Mean, mean pride!" Max sang drunkenly into the microphone. I rocked out the guitar highlight and flailed the guitar neck around to get the star points. Harold stuck his tongue out and rapped off the drums next.

When the song was over, we hooted and high fived and hugged each other. I looked over my shoulder and elbowed the guys to get their attention. We looked over at the girls.

They were being girly. Cora had brought the girls together and they were standing at the other end of room. But they were cackling with laughter and whispering like crazy. Minnie said something and Cora burst out laughing. She put her arms around the girls' shoulders and forced them into a giggling group hug. They stumbled a little to the side.

"Take off your tops!" Max cheered suddenly. I snorted with laughter and Harold just grinned and turned red. Clarissa came darting over to Max and kicked his shin and then wrapped him in a hug. He stumbled a little, since she was throwing her weight around and he couldn't really keep up.

"You girls wanna play?" Harold offered and banged around on the drums. Minnie came over and picked up the microphone.

"What do I do?" Minnie asked, a quick hiccough escaping her. She looked at me, curious. Um, Harold was the one who... oh whatever.

"You just try and sing along. You don't gotta be like in the right key just when the note goes higher try and go higher. Look at that little arrow thinger," I instructed. Minnie nodded, dead serious.

In Harold's house, the electronic system is set up so that when someone rings the doorbell, the ring is broadcasted in pretty much every single room. So, like, we heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it! Harold where's your candy?" Cora asked. Harold's mom and dad had gone to a Halloween party and his grandma was sound asleep in her bedroom. So it was up to us to hand out candy.

"It's in the closet right by, um, Robin you show her," Harold said, going through the song selections with Minnie. Minnie watched me put down the guitar and then I lead Cora downstairs.

And then, yes, I embarrassed the crap out of myself. I miscalculated one of the steps near the bottom of the staircase and I slipped and fell on my ass and slid down the rest of the stairs. Cora burst out laughing and held on to the stair case railing for support.

"I'm so- I'm sorry," She managed to apologize for laughing. She came down and hauled me to my feet. I couldn't quite gain my balance and I half meant it but half exaggerated a stumble and pushed Cora towards a wall. She kept laughing and slapped my shoulder as I pushed her. I stopped pushing her and spun around to the closet that was just off of the foyer. I grabbed the big bowl of candy and handed it to Cora.

She opened the door. These adorable kids sang trick or treat at her and she 'aww'ed at them and gave them candy. I snuck up behind her while she was finishing handing out the candy and stole her cat ears off her head and put them on my own head.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. The kids giggled that annoying high pitched little kid laughter. I leaned around Cora.

"Getoughttahere!" I growled like a crusty old grouch and swiped my arm at them. The kids wisely took off, but kept giggling. Pffft. Dumbasses couldn't recognize the danger I posed. You know, like, I am a mean, drunken part man part jungle cat. Not a scrawny teenage boy with kitty ears on my head.

"Sons a bitches," I muttered and closed the door. Cora was giggling at me and selecting some candy for herself. Oh Jesus Christ- she picked out a lollipop. Yeah, too freaking sexy Cora sucking on a lollipop.

"The sugar in that lollipop you are suckin' on will rot your teeth," I warned her while we headed back up the stairs. Cora unwrapped the lollipop and gave it an experimental lick.

"Oh, Boy Virgin. Do I make you nervous with my lollipop?" She asked me, pretending to be coy. Um, oh shit.

"Ha! As IF," I said to her. I sounded like freakin' Spice Girl. Cora gave me a knowing smile and her eyes were shining.

"Oh really?" Cora said. She abruptly put her hand on my chest and pushed me up against the wall. I blinked a few times. It happened fast and my head was spinning a little from the alcohol, making me dizzy.

But suddenly, Cora was leaning against me and was far too close to keep my heart rate calm and my head cleared up nicely so that I could fully process what was going on. I swallowed and blinked. Cora blinked too, her eyelids half open and giving me sex kitten looks. My heart was pounding up in my ears. Cora opened her mouth a little and put that damn lollipop partway in her mouth. Holy God. Was she, like, the one white girl in 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" music video?

"Do I make you nervous?" She asked me again, her voice very soft and very clear.

"You wish you did, Cora," I lied right to her gorgeous and far too close face and then raised an eyebrow. Cora grinned and, fuuuck!, she looked too sexy. She licked her lollipop with the tip of her tongue and it was so sexual I actually felt all the blood change direction in my body to head below my waist.

"Want some?" She offered and touched her lollipop to my lips. Ohhhh screw her!

"Ok, alright, I give! You're making me crazy!" I gave in. Cora grinned in triumph and snatched the kitty ears off my head.

"Touch my ears again and die," She told me, continuing up the stairs. I shook my head and exhaled, trying to calm down, and then followed her back to the games room.

Ok. I was totally drunk. We polished off all the liquor (yes, the entire bottle of rum) and everyone was plastered. Everyone, except Cora. While the rest of us had slugged back booze and got drunker, Cora drank water and sobered up. Why? Because she's a good friend and wanted to be able to drive us home. Isn't that so nice?? She's so nice.

There was more Rock Band and as we got more inebriated our scores suffered greatly. There was a horror movie that no one paid attention to and a Foosball tournament that involved a lot of jovial yelling and swearing.

At two thirty in the morning, and we were watching this fantastic infomercial for ExtendX, a pill that enlarged a man's dick, the natural way. Max and Clarissa were making out sloppily in an over-sized leather recliner and the rest of us were lounging on the huge L shaped couch. Harold was falling asleep and his head was on a pillow on Minnie's lap. Minnie was leaning on my arm, her head on my shoulder and she was falling asleep too. Cora was on the other side of me, her legs tucked up on the couch and her knees resting lightly on my legs. She had her elbow on the back of couch and was propping her head up on her arm. I took a sip of the dregs of beer at the bottom of the bottle.

"Would you ever take herbal enhancement?" Cora asked me curiously. I burped in my throat and sighed.

"You know... I don't think so," I said.

"You're satisfied with your size?" She asked me. I could hear the teasing grin in her voice.

"Mmm. Well I mean, I feel like taking that stuff is, like, you're lying. And, you know, if the ladies aren't satisfied then... well that's too bad," I said, shrugging the shoulder that Minnie wasn't sleeping on.

"Wow. That's very mature, BW," Cora praised me, ruffling my short hair. I started chuckling like a dumb drunk.

"You know, when you call me that, it sounds like you're making an Arthur reference. You know, the kid's TV show?" I managed to say and then started giggling hysterically. "Real cool, Cor," I said and then began howling with laughter, startling Minnie out of her nap.

"Ook. I think it's time to take you home," Cora chuckled at me, straightening her legs out and getting ready to stand up.

"Claris?" Cora said. Clarissa disengaged herself from Max and looked over at Cora.

"Do you and Max need a lift?" Cora asked.

"Harold, can we spend the night?" Max called drunkenly over to Harold. Harold grunted his permission gently in his sleep. Max grinned and started, like, sucking the life out of Clarissa's neck. She giggled and scrunched up her shoulders.

"I'm not staying here with you! You're gross!" Clarissa giggled. But she didn't mean it, apparently, because she went back to making out with Max. Cora raised her eyebrows at me and smiled. I raised my eyebrows back at her.

"Come on," Cora chuckled at me. I heaved myself to my feet and held on to Minnie's arm to try and get her to stand up.

"Oh no. I can't do it. Just, just leave me here to... die..." Minnie sighed, lying down on the couch.

"Alright, Boy Wonder. Show off your muscles," Cora said, picking up her purse.

"Are you kidding? I mean, Minnie's like nothing, but I'll drop her going down the stairs," I said, blinking as the alcohol oozed around in my stomach and brain. Cora rolled her eyes and handed me a purse. It kind of took me off guard and I almost dropped it. Cora leaned down and tugged Minnie to sit up.

"Come on darlin'," Cora said, turning around and helping Minnie get on her back. Cora stood up and piggy backed the little Minnie out of the room.

I followed them down the stairs and out of the house. I closed Harold's front door and then opened the back seat door of the Charger when we got down to the curb. I helped Cora as best as my drunken self could to put Minnie in the back seat. Minnie just flopped down and sighed. I crawled in the front seat and hiccoughed and then coughed. Frick I was drunk.

Cora drove Minnie home. The nap on the way to her house sobered Minnie up just enough so that she could walk with Cora's help up to her front door. Minnie waved good bye to me from her porch before going in her house. I waved back and then hiccoughed again.

Cora returned to the Charger.

"Alright, to the Bat cave," She said. I chuckled then sighed. I leaned back in my seat and my drunken eyes looked over at Cora while she drove. The streetlights broke through the dark of the night, sliding over Cora intermittently and glowing on her profile. Have I, um, have I mentioned Cora is beautiful?

Cora pulled into my driveway.

"So that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Cora demanded kindly of me.

"No. That was a lot of fun," I admitted easily, scratching my head and then pulling my hand forward and rubbing my face.

"...look, um, I'm sorry about the thing on the stairs. I was just goofing around, but I don't want to make you nervous," Cora apologized, since she'd sobered up some since then.

"Oh pft. S'all good. You make me nervous all the time even when you don't mean to," I admitted honestly. I hiccoughed.

"I do?" Cora chuckled.

"Yep. But, um, I kinda like it, you know?" I admitted with a shrug. Cora chuckled some more.

"I like you," I went on, sounding drunk out of my skull. Which I was.

"Cool. I like you too, BW," Cora said and then giggled huskily.

"No. I mean. I like, LIKE, like you," I said. Now, at the time, it seemed like a good thing to say. I was drunk as fuck and I didn't think at all about the consequences. If I was sober, I wouldn't have said it. I wouldn't have even let the thought surface in my brain.

"K, now I know. No more rum for you," Cora said.

"It's not the rum, Cora. It's you," I said. Oh the dark veil of night, in Cora's car, she was so pretty and I was so drunk. I am STupid. With a capital 'ST'.

"... ok, alright. Time to go in your house now," Cora told me.

"I want to kiss you first," I said. FUCK! Robin, sober up! You're ruining your life.

"No, Boy Wonder. Out of the car. I'll see you on Monday," Cora insisted.

"Cora," I began.

"Out, BW. Don't make me get physical with you," Cora said.

"Go ahead, please get physical,"

"Goodnight, homie," Cora said firmly, putting her car in reverse and then waiting. I reluctantly climbed out of the car. I waved good bye at Cora through her windshield. She still waved back.