Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

On Monday, I woke up and felt pretty good. Surprising right? Especially for a Monday, the day synonymous with hell and nightmare. I looked up at Pink Floyd's prism and tried to sort out why I felt good. It was actually pretty easy to pinpoint why:

1.) I'd gotten a little action this weekend. I haven't really kissed anyone since April, like, two years ago. So that was kinda cool.

2.) Even though Minnie had kissed me, we'd left on pretty clear terms: we were friends. That is something, just, great about Minnie: she's very, very clear and honest. She was a good friend and I'm, yeah, I'm glad that Minnie is my friend now.

3.) Minnie said there was a connection between me and Cora that she had noticed. Minnie, the honest more or less objective third party observer. That gave me this small rock of confidence in my stomach. Admittedly, to actually tell Cora how I felt about her was going to take, like, a monolith size of confidence. Something, I don't know that I've ever had.

But still. The small rock was a good start. It could maybe get me through the day. Because it was a Monday (with the Jazz band and the dinner with Linda) and I was going to be comparing date notes with Cora.

Because she had gone a date with that douche bag Brandon. But, you know, that small rock of confidence was helping me be mature and suspend my judgment on Brandon. A little. I still have a suspicion that he's a total douche. But I'm not so insecure that I'll keep harbouring that unfounded total hatred toward him.

I walked to school and listened to my frenchie rockers Second Sex and The Black Keys. At my locker, only two condoms fell out. Nice! This Monday was bucking the 'Mondays-are-shit' norm. I put the condoms in my backpack, with the rest of the condom stash, so that I could give all the condoms to Minnie when I saw her. I keep forgetting to do that- I had like twelve condoms to give her.

I didn't see Cora all day. I looked around for her, but she was either hiding from me (unlikely) or wasn't at school. Or we just kept missing each other. At lunch, Minnie sat with us at lunch, leaving some space for Cora to sit. But the damn girl never showed up! And we were all wondering where she was, even Minnie didn't know.

I hate it when Cora pulls a Houdini. It bugs me to be away from her. And I was starting to worry a little that Brandon had, like, raped her and left her in a ditch somewhere. I'm 90% sure that's not true, but 10% ready to murder him if that is the case.

I went to Music Composition and Cora was sitting at the piano, playing around on it. I felt a wave of relief wash over me, making me realize I'd been more worried about her than I thought.

"Hey. Where have you been all day?" I demanded. Cora shot me a quick smile in response to my parental tone. Well, I thought she'd been raped, ok? I'd panicked a little.

"Just around. I had lunch with Brandon," Cora said.

Oh. Ohhh. I felt my heart drop into my gut and my rock of confidence eroded just slightly.

"Ah. So then, the date went well?" I asked stiffly, sitting down in my chair and picking up my guitar. My shield.

"Yeah it was pretty good," She said with a shrug and another quick smile. She looked down at the piano.

"Where did he take you?" I asked. A friend can ask another friend, right? Let's just forget for a second I'm crazy jealous and protective and competitive and instead pretend that I'm just curious as her friend.

"We got some pizza and watched a movie," Cora said. Pft. Real original. I planned a better date with Minnie and I'm not even interested in having a relationship with her. Score one for Robin, big ol' goose egg for Brandon.

"What movie?" I checked.

"Um, that new movie with Matthew McConaughey?" Ha! The rom-com.

"Oh was it good?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"Mmm, it was ok," Cora said, wrinkling her nose too. Dude, I totally blew Brandon's lame ass date out of the water.

"But who cares about that. How did things go with Minnie?? I meant to call her this weekend but I didn't get the chance," Cora said, sounding excited and curious. Oh right, she would want to hear about my date.

"Uh, good. We saw that new Gerard Butler movie-" I began.

"Oh I want to see that!" Cora interrupted quickly and pressed her lips together, encouraging me to continue.

"Yeah it was good. Then I took her to get screamers," I said.

"... what's a screamer?" Cora asked suspiciously. I realized then that if you don't know what it is, a "screamer" sounds like a vibrator or something of that sexual nature.

"It's this slurpee and ice cream drink," I said.

"Ah! Yum!" Cora exclaimed. She grinned at me and then her face grew thoughtful. My small rock got it's eroded pieces back. She was totally wishing that she'd gone out with me and not lame ass douche puppy Brandon. (No, I don't know what a douche puppy is. A douche bag and a love sick puppy mixed?)

"So did you kiss her goodnight?" Cora piped up again, grinning slyly at me. Her dark eyes were shining and beautiful and for a second I couldn't process her question.

"... huh? Oh, uh, she kissed me, actually," I admitted. Cora slapped my leg.

"You've got so much play for a virgin, it's unbelievable," She said, blinking. "So are you guys considering itemhood?" She asked.

"Um, no. We mutually decided that we'd stay friends," I said. Cora blinked, looking surprised.

"No spark," I explained. Cora blinked again and her face became thoughtful.

"... what about you and Brandon?" I forced myself to ask, and literally felt nauseous saying that.

"Oh, uh, yeah he kissed me and we're gonna hang out again on Tuesday evening," She remembered. My brain practically exploded when she said that Brandon kissed her. I wanted to kick him in the nuts and rearrange his lame ass face with my fists!

And my heart kind of imploded unhappily in my guy. So... she was still going out with him. They were pursuing something. I was at a loss at what to do or say or feel. I felt both disappointed and angry; disheartened and competitive. For the rest of class, Cora played around on the piano and gave me quirky little comments. I just played my shield guitar and nodded.

When class ended and Cora bid me good bye, I sat inside the practice room for as long as I could, putting off going to Jazz band. Here are the specific reasons why I hate Jazz band:

1.) We play the dorkiest Jazz music. Like certain jazz is awesome and makes you want to drink gin and rock out on the slide guitar. But the jazz we play is like mediocre, happy-happy, President's ball type shit.

2.) People in Jazz band are quiet, dorky, and stuck up. That's not judging them before I know them, I know them. Oh, exclude Minnie from that. Cuz she's quiet and dorky, but really cool, so.

3.) It's just completely un-cool to be a member of Jazz band. Like bottom of the food chain. Lower than the LOVE club even. So, I can't really afford to be in Jazz band since I have no coolness about me to balance it out.

Eventually, I dragged my ass out of the practice room and set up my bass guitar next to Minnie. I plucked the strings quickly and it sounded out of tune. I sighed and started tuning it.

"Hello Robin," Minnie said when I sat down in a chair next to her and beginning fiddling with the tuning knobs.

"Hey Minnie," I said, giving her a quick smile.

"Why the long face?" She asked me, concerned. I sighed and was about to confess my problem when I realized that I'd have to tell Minnie that I was way into Cora. And Minnie and Cora are friends, so Minnie could potentially tell Cora what I'd said. On the other hand, Minnie would probably keep my secret if I asked her to.

"Oh uh... nothing," I lied. I felt bad for lying, since I think that Minnie and I are closer now since our date/hang out.

"Was Cora in Music Composition?" Minnie asked me. Crap! She's like Harold with the questions that drill into my problems past my pretenses.

"Um, yep, she was," I said casually. I was finished tuning the bass and turned up it's volume on the amp.

"How did her date with Brandon go??" Minnie asked. I was tempted to snap at her and ask why the crap I would know that. But Minnie doesn't deserve that kind of shit from me.

"Um... good I guess. They're going out again on Tuesday," I replied in a barely coherent mumble. I jammed out a couple angry notes. Mr. Giraldi was setting up his conductor's stand with his binder of lame Jazz music.

"Hmm," Minnie said thoughtfully. I glanced at her, but I had no idea what she was thinking.

"Our date was like way better though," I said suddenly. Minnie grinned at me.

"Really?" She said.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," I said, nodding. Minnie giggled. I smiled and then looked down at the bass guitar. At least I could make her feel better.

"... it's alright, Robin. You and Cora will work out somehow, in some way," Minnie said. She hesitated and then patted my shoulder, a little stiffly. It made me feel a tiny bit better, actually, and I decided to be mature and not deny that I wanted Cora. I decided to reward Minnie for her good behaviour and reached into my backpack.

"These are for you," I said and offered her the condoms. Minnie smiled and took them.

"This is better than flowers," Minnie said. I chuckled sadly. Minnie put her condoms away carefully in her book bag.

Mr. Giraldi called the Jazz band to attention and I stood up, reluctant but ready to play.