Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

The day started out like any other Friday. I looked at the Pink Floyd Prism and prayed for my virginity not to be an issue today and for me not to do anything really dumb in front of Cora. Some idiocy is expected of me, pretty much, but nothing really dumb, ok Gods of Punk? Anyway.

I got to school and was in a pretty good mood, since it was a Friday. I saw Cora’s car in the parking lot, which further heightened my pretty good mood, since that meant that she hadn’t ridden with Brandon. I got to my locker and only a couple condoms fell out. Even that didn’t bug me; I’d just give them to Minnie.

I walked down to Cora’s locker, but she wasn’t there. Minnie was at her locker, so I just kept walking to her locker.

“Hi Minnie,” I said to her. She looked at me.

“Hello Robin,” She said a little stiffly. I was a little confused by the attitude, but decided to ignore it.

“I have some prophylactics for you. I think there’s even a polyurethane one in there,” I said, reaching into my backpack, taking on the condoms and quickly sorting through the ones I had. Yep, there was the latex alternative.

“Thanks Robin,” Minnie said, giving me a very brief smile before putting the condoms in her locker.

“… are you ok?” I had to ask, frowning slightly.

“Oh yeah. I was just… reading this book,” Minnie said vaguely, selecting a binder from her locker and putting it in her messenger bag.

“What book?” I asked, wondering which book had put her in a sour mood. She picked the book out from her locker and showed me. It was ‘The God Delusion’.

“Oh Harold was reading this,” I remembered. He’d accused me of having a delusion that day, I remember.

“Yeah, he lent it to me,” Minnie said.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked. “Not buying into the God delusion?” I went on lightly, smiling crookedly.

“No, I am, you see, although I don’t call God a delusion. But that’s the problem, is that Harold holds this book’s beliefs more or less,” Minnie said. Oh. Well, Harold may be an atheist but he still has a heart. I mean, he is like ridiculously nice, right?

“Well…” I began. Minnie looked at me. But I didn’t really know what to say. “You can bring it up with him in the cafeteria at lunch and sort it all out,” I decided to say. Minnie smiled, breathing a laugh. I hope I’d made her feel better. I walked her to class… only a little bit for the reason that I couldn’t find Cora. But, hey, Minnie is my friend; I didn’t mind walking her to class.

At lunch, I was sitting in the cafeteria with Harold, picking at a gross plate of macaroni. Why do they even serve freaking macaroni in cafeterias? Honestly. Harold was peacefully reading his German book, although I’m pretty sure the text had been translated into English, since, uh, Harold doesn’t speak German. He had his mp3 playing U2 songs quietly for both of us to hear. I don’t really like U2 (so shoot me. I didn’t say I don’t like Bono. I do like Bono. Saying you don’t like Bono is like blasphemy for today’s generation), but I didn’t say anything about the music and let Harold listen to his music out loud.

Minnie walked into the cafeteria and came and sat down pointedly next to Harold, making him look up, mildly surprised that she was sitting next to him. Since, you know, she usually sits on the other side of Cora… who usually sits next to me. And who wasn’t here. I hate it when she does that, don’t you? It’s like, where the crap is she? And what’s going to happen when I see her next? Fack.

“Hello Minnie-” Harold began peacefully. Minnie put ‘The God Delusion’ on the table and slid it over to him.

“Oh did you finish it?” He asked, kind and curious.

“Yes and I think it’s a load of baloney,” Minnie said. Harold blinked.

“What? Why?” He asked, fascinated.

“I have three words for you and they are The Big Bang Theory,” Minnie said.

“… that’s four words,” Harold pointed out.

“The ‘the’ doesn’t count,” Minnie said shaking her head. “Anyway. The Big Bang Theory is pretty much the most up-to-date scientific explanation for the beginning of the universe, right?” She said, wanting Harold to agree with her. He nodded his head, urging her to continue.

“Well, the Big Bang theory proves that the universe is not in fact infinite and timeless. It had a beginning,” Minnie said.

“… and you think that there’s a creator, since the universe hasn’t always existed, it began to exist at some point and someone started its existence?” Harold concluded.

“Well, that’s half right,” Minnie said. Harold was never only half-right. He was always completely and totally right.

“Half? What’s the other half?” Harold said.

“It’s pretty simple. All things that exist had to have come into existence at some point,” Minnie stated her first premise. Harold nodded his acceptance of her premise. Minnie went on, but since I haven’t read ‘The God Delusion’ and am not up to date with the latest in theistic proofs, I didn’t follow the conversation.

Instead, I was the normal teenager at the table and just obsessed about where the girl I had a crush on was. I mean, Cora wasn’t at the populars’ table, and she wasn’t anywhere else in the cafeteria. And, now that I really look, Brandon wasn’t at the popular table either. Which means, we can conclude that they are probably together. Ooohh, that makes my crazy. Like, why? He’s an asshole. And I actually have a legit reason to think that now. Why was Cora paying him any attention? Fuck, it was pissing me off.

When lunch was over, and Minnie was still lecturing away about God to Harold, a very attentive audience, I bid the two crazy kids good bye and stomped off to Music Composition. If she wasn’t there, I was going to throw a fit.