Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

On Monday morning, I woke up and wished I was dead. It's hard, you know, when you're a virgin in love with your cool best buddy who's dating, like, your mortal popular enemy. And even though I was finally going to be proactive today and apologize to Cora, it was a lot to make yourself face on a freaking Monday morning. But face it, I must. I don't think I could take another minute of wondering if Cora hated me and would never speak to me, anyway.

I got out of bed, dressed, and went downstairs. Glenn was there in the kitchen, eating some toast.

"Morning kiddo," He said.

"Hey pop," I said, sounding depressed.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concerned. Why is everyone so concerned when I sound depressed? I'm a teenager, I'm always freaking depressed!

"No. But I might be later," I said. Glenn raised an eyebrow at me, hoping I'd explain further. But I wasn't going to throw him a bone.

"I gotta get going," I said, slinging my backpack carefully up on my shoulder. I didn't want to mess up the contents inside.

"Oh, uh, hang on kiddo, I wanted to talk to you," Glenn said.

"Can it wait until later, dad? I kind of have something I really, really, really need to do," I said. I have to salvage the wreckage that is my life. Please, dad, please.

"Well...ok... here, have some toast. You never eat breakfast, kid," Glenn said very parentally. I took a slice of toast to appease him and saluted him with it.

"Have a good day, Robin! I love you!" He called after me. I kinda stalled, he says I love you pretty often (more often than I'd prefer), but he doesn't usually remind me of his dad-love before school.

"Uh yeah, you too for both!" I called back awkwardly and headed out the door.

I didn't eat the toast. I threw it in the ditch that borders our front lawn. I was too nervous about the day to eat. I mean, c'mon! I had a lot riding on the line today. Pretty much my whole life depended on today and how I handled it. That's a crazy amount of pressure, but I had to do deal with it. Me and Cora depended on it and I don't know if you've noticed but I'm crazy about her, so if I've ruined things with her... I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

I walked through the school parking lot. There was the Charger. That was a good sign: it meant that Cora was both at school and not riding with Brandon. Good, those are good things. Of course, she could still hate my guts, but let's just not think about that. Because I might throw up if I do.

I went to my locker, opened it, and seven goddamn condoms fell out! The average per day is about four, so plus three was a rather depressing spike. I sighed, feeling even more baggage sag on my already overloaded shoulders. I looked up, inexplicably, and over to my right.

My heart pounded both out of nervousness and with stupid, stupid love as Cora walked toward me, looking at me. Her eyes were set on me and she didn't look angry. Just reserved. The neutrality of her look made me crazy. I just tried to breathe. You gotta inhale and then exhale...

"Hi," Cora said when she was standing in front of me.

"Hi," I said back. As we looked at each other, I noticed that she looked less reserved and just kind of sad. Her fantastic hard blue eyes looked around in mine and my head was a heavy mess.

"Look, Robin," Cora began with a slight sigh. "I was thinking about what you said all weekend-"

"Cora, I'm really sorry," I interrupted abruptly. I slid my backpack off my back and unzipped the zipper. I pulled out the jumbo size bag of corn chips I'd bought at the grocery store and held them out for her. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. You didn't do anything wrong at all. I was just angry in general... at Brandon I guess," I said, only lying a little bit.

For a long moment, Cora was just still. She didn't move at all. Then she took the corn chips from me, looking at them and holding them delicately.

"I'm sorry Cora," I apologized again. For some reason, I figured if I just kept saying it, she'd break down and forgive me.

"Aw, BW. It's ok," Cora chuckled suddenly. She looked at me and we looked at each other. Suddenly, everything was just, like, really intense. But good intense. I sensed I was forgiven. But I was sensing other stuff, stuff I didn't get and couldn't put names to.

Cora cleared her throat a little and looked to the side at the crowded hallway. I glanced out reflexively too. We were probably a little too intense for a school hallway. Now was not really the best time for long explanations and apologies. And, yeah, ok, I was hoping for hugs too.

"... we'll talk about this later. In Music Comp. Ok?" Cora said, reading my mind.

"Ok," I nodded, breathing a little easier. Cora smiled a little.

"We'll... have a party," She joked gently, holding up the corn chips. I smiled and she smiled more. She hugged the bag of corn chips very lightly against her stomach, just kind of holding them.

"I'll see you later, ok?" She said.

"Ok," I said again. Cora smiled and then started to walk away.

"Cor?" I spoke up. She turned around.

"Just so it's clear, am I forgiven?" I asked. Please, Cora, just put me out of my misery. She grinned and chuckled.

"Of course, Boy Wonder, don't be dumb," She said. There was Cora. I half smiled awkwardly. And she just shook her head and kept chuckling and walked away.

Well, I felt about one million times better. I wanted to do a victory dance and make balloon animals out of the stupid condoms that had been stuffed in my locker. But I kept my cool (high school is successful at suppressing those crazy joyful impulses. Fack how I hate this place!). And I just headed to Geography, elated.

In Geography, I listened to Under Pressure by Queen and Mr. Bowie. Because I wasn't under pressure, I could really enjoy the song. I wanted to stand up on the desk and sing to the Heavens (or at least the other students) "Can we give ourselves, one more chance?? Can't we give love, that one more chance?!" But I wouldn't have been received well. So I just settled for slightly dancing in my seat while I studied for the upcoming exam.

Mr. Jeffrey is very considerate in that he just preps us for exams and then gives us lots of time in class to study. He makes himself available for assistance and help in a way that actually feels accessible. Like, teachers always say that they are available and want to help, but you don't really believe them. Mr. Jeffrey is different. He genuinely wants to help. That day, though, the dumb popular bitches were occupying his attention. Like, I realize that since they are stupid, they need more help, but they were sucking up all of his attention. Awful queen of evils Erica had Mr. Jeffrey pretty much permanently next to her.

But I don't care. I haven't a freaking care in the world! Cora has forgiven me; we're buddies, and who cares that I'm crazy in love with her? This'll be figured out. Or at the very least, I'll still have my buddy even if I am secretly harbouring love for her. That's not too bad, right? Right. Er... no, yeah let's stick with the delusion that things aren't too bad.