Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

Ok. So, in all of the scenarios that I fretted over and worked up in my head, I never imagined the one I was currently in now. Like, one would like to think when they are worrying about something, that the thing that is bothering them will eventually get resolved one way or the other. You know, so either the outcome is shitty, or what you wanted, or something that is at least substantial. What Cora had done here, leaving things unsubstantial and totally confusing… well, Cora had managed to be more creative than the worrywart extraordinaire. And you gotta give her props. Because that is quite a feat to accomplish.

For instance, at lunch, ok, the four of us were sitting at our table (minus Max and Clarissa, right) and Cora behaved as though everything was normal and we hadn’t had a crazy animal make out session during Music Comp. She was so damn cool about everything; I was starting to seriously question my sanity and memory. Maybe I had made the whole thing up… no. No, we had made out in this morning. That really happened. But now Cora was acting all normal.

Like… why?? Why was she doing this, I dunno. I did not understand whatsoever. Because, you know, it’s not like Cora ignores me ordinarily right? Like, she was still talking to me and touching me and joking suggestively with me and making me crazy because I love her. But, you know, there wasn’t… like…

I guess what I wanted was for her to be as crazy as me. Which, the more that I think about it, she kind of is, just in her own way. I was completely crazy in love with her and she was just simply completely crazy.

But as I was sitting there next to Cora, going crazy because she was acting both normal and totally screwy at the same time, I did notice that, on the occasions we looked at each other in little private moments, the feeling was intense. Like, take-me-right-here-right-now-in-the-cafeteria, intense. So that was… more confusion. And craziness. Because I was having a hard time freaking keeping it in my pants, let me tell you.

I wanted to grab Cora and kiss her fantastic mouth so passionately… oh my God, I can’t even describe it. It’s just, it’s Cora and she’s so hott and I’m so in love with her. And now, on top of the love, I’m in the throes of total lust as well. So to sum up, I was crazy because:

1.) Cora said she couldn’t be in a relationship because… well I don’t really get why. Something about being my best friend or something? Anyway, that rejection hurt like fuck.

2.)… even though she said no way to the relationship, she had made out with me in the practice room. Like, a kiss or two, I can just let slide as friendship feelings. But, as I’m sure you recall, there was moaning and tongues and severe hottness. So… what’s up with that?

3.) And the thing that made me the craziest: I am so in love with Cora and so damn attracted to her, the urge to make out with her is nearly overpowering and won’t go away! Like, it’s lingering inside me, as strong and messy as it was when we were actually making out!

Because we did actually make out… right?

Cora elbowed me gently. I turned my head sharply to look at her. You love me? You hate me? You’re totally nuts? What?? I stared at her, but she wasn’t looking at me. She nodded at Minnie and Harold and I tore my gaze away from her to look at them.

“Flagellum,” Minnie said.

“Excuse me?” Harold said. Oh, yeah, he’d noticed my eye and I’d told him basically what happened (minus the epic kissing Cora part). Yeah, he was all concerned and gave me wise advice and called Brandon a colossal jerk and praised Cora for punching him. Blah, blah, blah. Did I mention Cora smells like peppermint and some kind of flower?

“It’s the hole in Darwin’s Natural Selection theory,” Minnie explained.

“… you’re going to have to explain it to me, Minnie. I’m not familiar with the, the flagellum,” Harold said. Minnie grinned knowingly and ha! Pulled out a diagram from her messenger beg. Oh, she is so weird!

“It’s a part of a cell’s structure that is crucial to the cell’s functioning. It’s like a machine, it runs just like an outboard motor, and propels the cell where it needs to go. If even one piece of the flagellum was taken away or altered even slightly, it wouldn’t work. And we would not be sitting here, existing, were the flagellum ever in a lesser state than what it is now,” Minnie explained triumphantly. I don’t know about you, but I had no clue as to what the crap she was talking about. I can tell you Cora smells fantastic, though.

“Hmm. So you’re inferring that…” Harold asked, looking over the diagram.

“The flagellum? Had to have been intelligently designed,” She said elegantly. Harold puckered his lips, his smarty-pants mind whirring away.

“I concede your win, again. I have no rebuttal,” He admitted easily. Minnie smiled, pleased.

“Well, take your time, do some research. You can get back to me,” She quoted Harold back to him. Cora pinched my arm. Yeah I know, crazy and gorgeous girl, I remember when Harold said that. Harold grinned. He remembered too.

“… this thing kind of looks like a sperm,” Actually came out of his wise, zen mouth. And he was just as shocked as the rest of us because he clapped a hand over his mouth. Too late, buddy. You just said the flagelfloogan thing looked like a sperm! I stretched my neck to get a better look at the diagram. Oh, hey, it did kind of look like a sperm.

Minnie started giggling and Harold chuckled, totally mortified. Then they both cleared their throats slightly and calmed down at the same time! Oh they are so cute and so fucking weird.

Cora looked at me and I felt her look at me instantly and turned to look right back at her. She raised her eyebrows slightly and, oh my GOD, bit her lower lip a little. I hate her! Why do I love her?? I hate her! She makes me crazy! Yeah, yeah, calm down, penis, I know you love her, too. The only tiny rational part left in my brain knew she was making the wildly attractive and sexual facial expressions because of Harold and Minnie. But, like I said, the rational part of my brain was very small now.

When lunch was over, Cora walked me to my locker. Have you ever thought about (sensually) throwing someone down on the floor and making out with them in the middle of a crowded school hallway? It’s actually quite painful, especially when you’re walking next to the person who is making you have those psychotic impulses.

This had to end. Not the psychotic impulses. Ha! I know better, those will never go away. I meant the crazy, unknowing confusion. I had barely gotten through today, never mind trying to live with this uncertainty and attraction for the rest of our friendship.

“Cor?” I asked, trying to sound casual while I dug out my Geography binder.

“… yes, BW?” She replied carefully. Don’t call me BW! I mean, I love that dumb nickname, don’t get me wrong, but don’t call me that now when I’m trying to be serious.

“I think we should talk,” I managed to get out simply. I know that sounds like nothing, but I was really impressed with myself that I said that.

“… you’re right. Of course,” Cora sighed suddenly, agreeing with me. I looked at her. Well, wait, do I want to talk if the talk is going to lead to more heart shredding?

“Tomorrow, ok? I have to go meet my mom now. So… tomorrow. We’ll talk. For real,” Cora promised.

“Um… ok,” I agreed. Since I didn’t have any other option. Cora smiled at me and began to walk around me toward her locker’s hallway. She reached up and scratched the back of my head gently as she walked by. I watched her walk away.

… I wonder if maybe she actually does know how crazy she makes me.