Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

"Thunder! Ar-rar-rar-rar-rar-rar-rar! Thunder! Ar-rar-rar-rar-rar-rar-rar! Thunder!" I sang drunkenly at the top of my lungs.

"It was cold, in the middle of the railroad tra-ack!" Cora sang too. It didn't matter that neither of us could sing, AC/DC, super-Aussie party rock music, was playing at top volume out of the speakers in my family room.

Dude. How der-unk am I? I am soo drunk. I can't even, like. Hahaha! Ok, this is how I drunk I am:

I was dancing outrageously to AC/DC. Freely flailing around. Yeah, I was that drunk.

Cora and I (God, how I love her! I am sooo in love with her. Like, so in love. So, so, so in love. Wow) we had taken many shots of tequila. Like, ok, it started out kind of civilized. We took a couple shots, with some time in between shots, you know? And we listened to music and, and stuff. But THEN as we got, like, drunker we took more shots at shorter intervals. That's, um, kind of stupid isn't it? But we were drunk, so stupidity is kind of implied.

"Shatterin' of the drums! Beatin' in the heart!" Cora sang, sexily swinging her hair around and a little bit lost in her own world as she danced around.

"The thunder begins! Tore me apart!" I sang, air guitar-ing. Yeah, I was really drunk.

"You been-" Cora said spinning around and glaring sexually at me.

"THUNDERSTRUCK!" We both shouted along with Angus Young. Actually, it was just kind of raining boringly outside. I rushed Cora, grabbing her around the waist, picking her up, and swinging her around.

"Don't! BW, I'll throw up!" She shrieked/giggled. I put her down.

"How awesome would it be if it were actually thundering outside??" I shouted over the music while we wiggled our hips. Cora has great, great girl hips, man. Like. Shit, fuck, whoa. Um, yeah.

"So awesome!" Cora agreed with me, still dancing away. We danced out the song. When it was over, I flopped theatrically to the floor. Oh that was nice. I don't think I could get up again.

"Nothing is better than AC/DC," I said dramatically. That is so untrue, but it felt true in that drunken moment. Cora was laughing at me.

"Ok, my pick, slug," She said, teasing me kindly as she went over to the computer, bracing her arm against the table to keep her balance. I looked at her long, fantastic legs. Oh those freaking legs.

The opening notes of Styx's Come Sail Away came twinkling loudly out of the speakers.

"Oh my God! Cora, you make my life!" I stated honestly, if rather dramatic and drunk. Cora giggled at me as I hauled myself to my feet. I grabbed Cora's hand and pulled her into a classic, closed position to dance with her.

"I'm... sailing away!" I serenaded Cora. She kept giggling.

"Set an open course for the virgin sea," I went on, twirling her around.

"That's you!" She interjected between lyric lines and pointed at me. I grinned. Yes I was a virgin sea.

"Cuz I've got to, be freee," We both sang as I kind of waltzed her around. I don't know how to waltz, but Cora just let me guide her around haphazardly.

"Free to face the life," I stage whispered. "That's ahead of me," I said, dropping my voice low again. Cora snorted and giggled at me. I giggled too. I was pleased she found me so amusing all drunk.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. Cora gasped and clutched my arm.

"Oh my God, don't answer it!" She panicked. I stumbled over to the computer to turn off the music. I was stumbling, partly because I was hammered and partly because I had one hundred and, I'd say, twenty pounds of girl weight trying to stop my actions.

"Why not?" I laughed at her. Cora threw her arms around my neck. Well, ok, gorgeous girl, if you really don't want me to.

"It's a psycho killer! Who else would be here at... um..." She stopped and frowned at the computer clock. "11 at night?" Cora demanded of me.

"The pizza guy," I remembered. Oh, yeah, I'd called him, by the way, at some point between songs on the long playlist. I kissed Cora's forehead.

"Don't fret, my darling," I said. Cora giggled huskily at me calling her my darling. She still tugged at my arm as I walked to the front door.

"Cora! Get off me!" I snapped, not at all angry because I was drunk and in love. And, whoa, I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth. But, thankfully, Cora ignored me and kept clutching my arm. I opened the front door. The pizza guy offered us a pizza.

"Oh whoa! Thanks homie," Cora said, switching gears suddenly, taking the pizza box, giving the guy a beautiful Cora grin, and then dancing off with our pizza. The pizza guy grinned reflexively, actually blushing a little. I completely understood and chuckled at him.

"Hang on," I said holding up my index finger. I went to the kitchen, grabbed the twenty, and handed it to him.

"Keep the change," I told him. He blinked. I guess I was giving him a big tip. He saluted me with the money.

"Have a good night, man," He chuckled at me. Oh. I intend to. Wait, what did he mean? Did he mean...

"Robin! Come ON!" Cora yelled.

"Yeah!" I said and closed the front door as the pizza guy walked to his car. I went back into the family room. Cora was polishing off a slice of pizza.

"Thanks," She said, toasting her crust of pizza at me with one hand and covering her full mouth with the other.

"You're welcome," I said, widening my eyes at her and kissing the top of her head as I leaned over her to grab a slice for myself. Oh, man. That was some fucking good pizza. Like, wow. I bought a large, and Cora and I ate the entire thing. I mean, I hammered back more than half, but Cora ate a lot too. She's skinny, but she's tall, ok. So I guess she had to, like, fill up her girl tallness. That doesn't make sense. Whatever.

"You want another shot?" Cora asked me, pouring two shots of tequila before I could answer.

"Shoot me up," I said. Cora laughed. We clinked glasses, threw back the liquor and chased it straight from a two litre bottle of Coke. Oh, yeah, we started off pouring the Coke into separate glasses but that, um, stopped at some drunken point. We weren't really doing anything right: I didn't have lime wedges so we couldn't do the lime wedges and salt and tequila thing. I mean, well, of course I have salt in my house but... like... without the lime... oh forget it hehe!

"Wanna dance?" I offered, my head swirling from the fresh shot of alcohol.

"Hellz yeah!" Cora sang, getting to her feet and holding the back of the chair to keep her steady while I put on more music.

"Awww! Robin! I didn't know you were a thirteen year old girl!" She said, coming over to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. Oh crap. I'd put on an Owl City song. That's, that's embarrassing.

"Sorry you had to find out this way," I chuckled drunkenly at myself, putting my arms around her waist.

"Better this way than the other way," Cora sang suggestively, looking at me out of the corner of her eyes. Oh sex she means. Sex. Yeah, ok, that sounds good.

She giggled at me. I must have had a funny expression on my face. I grinned at her. Can we have sex now, sexy, scary Cora?

"You are so cute, Boy Wonder," She laughed, growling the word 'cute'. Oh, well, cute is not sexy. But it's something.

I leaned my head down and kissed her. Like, immediately sliding my tongue in her mouth and everything. She kissed me back. We made out like crazy drunken kids during the Owl City song.

It was one in the morning. Cora and I were lounging on my couch, drunk as fack, and drinking water. I remembered that water was key to avoiding a hangover. Cora was lying down, her legs strewn over my lap. I was sitting up, but my feet were stretched out on the coffee table. I was kind of massaging Cora's legs. Because that is the kind of guy I am- really, really nice. And nice guys? Yeah, they finish dead freaking last. Siigh. Oh well.

"Robin?" Cora spoke up, sounding sleepy, wasted, and really hott.

"Mhm?" I hummed, rubbing her shin.

"Will you walk me home?" Cora asked, pushing her hair off her face. "Because, I think I'll fall in a ditch," She said and chuckled huskily.

"... Cor? I'm not, like, trying anything when I say this. But, um, I can barely walk and you, my dear, can barely stand. I think you'd better stay here tonight," I said, running my hand up to her knee.

"... You're right. You're always right," Cora said, hauling herself to sit up and bending her knee to help her balance. I kept rubbing her shins while she leaned on her legs and her face was near mine.

"How are you always right?" She asked me, tilting her head and resting the side of her head on her arm.

"I'm not always right. Not by a long shot," I chuckled at the ridiculousness of that.

"Sure you are," Cora disagreed, lightly pushing my face with her hand. I smiled sleepily at her. She grinned sleepily at me.

"Robin?" Cora spoke up again.

"Cora?" I said back.

"You wouldn't take advantage of me while I was drunk in a million years, would you?" Cora asked. Well, she wasn't really checking or asking, she was making a statement about my character.

"No, Cora, I wouldn't," I sighed. And it was the truth. Why wouldn't I take advantage of Cora and make drunken love to her? Because I'm a retarded nice guy, that's why. Cora grinned at me.

"I know you wouldn't," She said and grabbed the side of my face and smooched my cheek. "You are the best guy I know," She told me. Well, that's... really nice. Wow.

"Thanks," I chuckled at her. Cora kept holding on to my cheek, looking at me. God, she is freaking beautiful.

"Because you could you know," Cora said suddenly. I looked at her, blinking sleepily.

"Could what, dear?" I asked kind of sounding like a grandmother. Cora grabbed the front of my shirt and flopped back to lie down. I followed, leaning on my elbow next to her.

"Take advantage of me. I'm freakin' defenseless. I'm really, really drunk," Cora confessed, chuckling and touching my cheek. I smiled at her.

"Yes you are. And so am I, actually. Drunk, I mean," I said, frowning. "What were we talking about?" I asked. Cora giggled at me.

"You taking advantage of me," She reminded me. Oh yeah.

"Right. Well, I won't. But if you wanted to take advantage of me, I wouldn't complain," I said, grinning. Cora laughed and ruffled my short hair.

"You are such a cute, drunk virgin, my friend," She said. "Maybe I should take advantage of you," She said, giving me a sly sexy look. I decided to help her decision along by leaning down and kissing her. Cora tasted like peppermint and tequila. How did she still taste like peppermint? I probably tasted like garlic from the pizza and tequila. Gross.

Cora didn't seem to mind, though, as we continued to make out. She held my face with one hand and ran her other hand on my upper arm. I hope I was flexing it. I don't know if I was, though, but I hope I was. I ran my free hand up her thigh to her hip. And I got a sneaky, even though I wasn't thinking about being sneaky at the time, and just kept running my hand up her shirt. Whoa, to touch her actual side, her actual skin. Wow it was soft. And wow it was very Cora-y skin, if that's possible. Once I started, I wanted to touch more. My hand just moved further up her side to her rib cage-

Cora's cell phone rang. That stupid, cursed, fucking thing! Cora and I detached from one another and I heaved myself off of her. Cora reached for her jacket (it was on the floor next to the couch) and I hauled myself to my feet.

"I'll get us more water," I said. Cora nodded at me and pulled out her cell from her jacket pocket. I grabbed our water glasses and went to the kitchen. I refilled the glasses and brought the water back to the family room.

"-spend the night at Minnie's," Cora was saying. I could hear her mother talking very kindly to Cora through the phone. I handed Cora her glass. She raised it to me in thanks.

"... baby please, I didn't know that you would back so early," I could hear her mother saying.

"That's not really a reason for not telling me about him," Cora said obviously, frowning.

"I know, I know, babe. Please, come home so we can talk about this," Her mom went on.

"It's a little late, mom," Cora reminded. She's incredible: drunk as fuck, but still the rational one.

"... Yeah. Ok, alright. You stay at your friend's. But be home early tomorrow, ok? Because I don't want to be secretive, I want to talk to you alright?" Cora's mom was saying. Cora was focused on drinking her water. She swallowed hastily.

"Yep ok, mom," Cora said. I wondered if Cora had actually heard what her mom had said.

"Ok. Goodnight, babe,"

"Good night, mom," Cora said and hung up her phone. I watched her turn it off and then drop it on the coffee table.

"No more damn interruptions," She said finishing her water and putting her glass on the coffee table too. She lay back on the couch. I sat down on the edge of the couch and took a swig of my water.

"Come here," Cora commanded, sleepy but insistent.

"I think I'd better go to bed," I said reluctantly, putting my glass on the coffee table. But I was freaking tired and Cora looked like she was falling asleep too.

"Noo! No, no, no. Don't leave," Cora begged. Well... if you insist. I let her pull my shirt and thereby pull my torso down on top of her. I propped myself up on my elbows and smoothed her hair from her face.

"Do you need a blanket?" I checked, frowning. I sounded so damn parental... I don't know what my problem was.

"No. I need you. Please don't go," Cora pleaded. I guess because I was still half off of the couch she thought I was going to leave her. I just kept running my hands through her dark hair.

"I have to go to bed, you know," I said. Cora clutched my shoulders.

"No! Robin, please don't leave! You're the only person left in the world that I'd do, like, anything for," She confessed without thinking about it. ... really? Cora that's so... I dunno what to make of that.

"Aw, Cor," I slurred, feeling sleepy.

"I love you Robin," She explained, shrugging one shoulder. Now, you have to remember, I was drunk out of my mind and so I was unable to properly register what she'd said.

"Awww, Cor," I said again, drunk and obviously completely retarded. I lay down on the couch next to Cora, my back facing out. Cora was nestled between me and the back of the couch. She put one arm around my waist and the other was touching my shirt/chest. She tucked her face against my collarbone. I wrapped my arms around her, my outer arm acting as a blanket I guess.

I opened my eyes heavily, realizing that my eyes had closed. Barely thirty seconds had gone by.

"Cor?" I muttered and looked down at her. She was sound asleep, cuddled against me. Well that's... just perfect. I closed my eyes and fell asleep immediately.