Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

Five times.

Cora and I have kissed five times. We've made out three times. And there's too many kisses involved in making out to count them all individually. Wow. I might be a music geek. I might be a messed up child of divorce. I might be a white boy virgin that crawls around at the bottom of the social food chain. But I am freaking blessed by some strange... force...

I looked up at Pink Floyd's prism Monday morning. Did you guys do this for me? Cuz, like, way to look out for your disciples. I blinked and sighed contentedly. Linda and Glenn were on some kind of pre-honeymoon kick. She hadn't left our house all weekend. And, you know, I didn't mind really. Well, I mean, I freaking hope not right? I'd better get used to her being around.

But my dad. God, Glenn was practically farting rainbows he was so happy. Ordinarily, I would have been dreadfully sarcastic and disgusted by his display. But, since I too was in love, I let it slide. Man, loving Cora was making me lose what little edge I had.

I got out of bed, dressed, and went downstairs. Glenn had Linda in his lap. Ew, they were giggling and kissing and sharing an apple. There was a plate of orange slices in front of them

"Could you at least eat your own apple?" I remarked, mostly to my dad, but Linda was guilty too. Linda chuckled and held up the fruit plate to me. I walked over to her.

"You better watch it, kiddo. I let that tequila and strange girl thing slide. But I could bring it up if provoked," Glenn threatened, wagging his eyebrows at me. I picked up a slice or orange and stuffed it in my mouth.

"Yeah. Uh huh," I said, seeing right through him. He was too happy to get angry. I hiked my backpack up on my shoulder and headed out of the kitchen. Linda kept giggling at me. You know, I'm liking her more and more.

"And she's not strange. Cora's, like, my buddy," I understated, calling over my shoulder.

"Your buddy lets you French kiss her?" Glenn retorted. I heard a burst of laughter from Linda. I opened the front door.

"Yeah it's a super arrangement!" I finished and lied as I walked out the door, closing it behind me.

I walked to school. The sun was making a repeat appearance. November would be over soon, whoa. And then it would be December.

For some reason, a shock of dread ran through me. I have no damn clue why, but something about the end of November just sounded completely terrible. I shook it off, though, and walked through the school parking lot. The Charger was sitting its spot, shining in the sun the way it always should, forever and ever Amen.

I went to my locker and opened it up. Oh. My. God. Not a single damn condom fell out. Not one! I glanced around myself abruptly, paranoid that I'd suddenly get pelted with condoms. But nothing. People still wouldn't look at me, like, no one looked at me, but I was (sadly) used to that now.

But... no condoms!

"Hi," Cora was at my side. Now the no condom thing was throwing off my premonition.

"Hi," I said, grinning at her. I wanted to pick her up and twirl her around and kiss her all over. But, um, I couldn't do that? Well, now that I think about, I don't know what the rules are for best friends with benefits when it comes to PDA. I'm thinking, though, Cora wouldn't go for it.

"Cora, look!" I settled for and gestured at my locker. Cora looked inside my locker, her eyes wide, and then she looked at me.

"... it's a very nice locker, honey," She said, talking to me like she was a nurse and I was a mental patient. I sagged my shoulders at her, momentarily defeated, but then I perked up again.

"No condoms," I prompted. Cora blinked and did a quick sweep of the ground in case I'd missed some and they had just fallen on the ground.

"Well... would you look at that," Cora said, grinning at me. I grinned at her and shut my locker. I wanted to kiss her sooo bad. But she's not my girlfriend, I can't do things that! ArACK!

"Come on," She chuckled at me, tugging my arm. She walked me to my Geography class. Outside of the class she smacked my arm with her binder as a goodbye.

"I love ya that much," She joked and then departed. I grinned and walked into the classroom.

A sudden memory blinded me and I nearly had a heart attack and almost collapsed right there in an aisle between the rows of desks.

When Cora and I had gotten shit-faced on Friday, did she say she loved me at some point? Like, right before we went to sleep, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm right about that. Unless my brain is playing tricks on me, unless that was wishful thinking, Cora said "I love you Robin,".

Oh my freaking God! Pink Floyd be fucking praised! Cora said she loved me! I sat down in my chair stunned. I was in shock, wow.

And then, goddamnit, my worrywart negative side crept in there. And the worst part is, it was worrying and negative and rational:

1.) I love Cora. Now, when I say I love her, I mean, in love kissing and sex and forever kind of love.

2.) I also "love" my dad. And that's a different kind of love, obviously. And I "love" Harold too, in a way, cuz he's been my good friend for a long time.

3.) So, then, when Cora said she loved me, what did she mean? Did she mean in love-love, like how I feel? Or... did she mean love like 'I love you like a friend' love?

I pressed my lips together, my brain kicking into hyper drive.

1.) Drunk words equal sober thoughts correct?

2.) Cora could have meant, aw I love you like a friend.

3.) BUT, generally, you know, when a heterosexual girl tells a heterosexual guy that she loves him, she doesn't mean I love you like a friend. At least, that is not what is implied. What's implied, here, when Cora said "I love you Robin" was that she implied that she loves me in a similar fashion to the way I love her. Probably not exactly the same, since I'm a hopeless romantic virgin, but in that same vein, you know?

4.) BUT, Cora pretty much defies all rules and all expectations. It would be very unwise of me to assume she meant one thing. Because Cora marches to the beat of her own drum, so assumptions are always a bad idea when it comes to trying to predict her actions.

"After the exam on Wednesday, we're not gonna really have class. Because no one wants to have class after an exam," Mr. Jeffrey was saying, sitting on a stool at the front of the classroom. I wasn't paying attention. I was having a silent crisis at my desk.

"But I'm gonna put you in partners for your poster project. Just so you can kick around some ideas or, like, sleep I guess," Mr. Jeffrey said, shrugging and invoking giggles from the class. He continued on with the lesson.

I sunk low in my seat, pouting. You know, I have this growing suspicious that Cora is purposefully being difficult. She is purposefully being perplexing, confusing, and throwing up blockades. She's working me to the bone to win her love. And that sucks. I've never been one of those guys that like to pursue girls that seem to hate their guts. I'll just stick with girls that like me from the get go, thanks. I sighed and skimmed aggressively though my iPod. I know in my heart, of course, that Cora wouldn't purposefully be difficult with me. I was just incredibly frustrated because she was being difficult nonetheless.