Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

After Geography, I shuffled slowly behind Amanda as she walked with Erica and Carlton, laughing happily about who freaking knows what. I glanced up and caught Erica looking over her shoulder at me. When she saw me looking, she looked away and started whispering into Amanda's ear with a smile. I was thankful I couldn't hear the bitchy venom spewing out of her mouth. Yeah spewing.

"Shut up!" Amanda shrieked playfully at Erica, who just cackled. Point for Erica: if she's gonna be the wicked witch of high school, she has worked out a primo cackle.

Outside, even more popular kids glommed on to Erica and Amanda. I felt like this Geography project was a chain around my neck that Amanda was yanking me along with it. I looked across the parking lot and could see Cora walking to the Charger with Minnie. I wanted to cry out to her to save me. As it was, they looked over at the big group crossing the parking lot (and probably noticed me dragging my ass and bringing up the rear). Minnie gave me a sad, little wave and Cora climbed into her Charger.

A moment later, I got a text message from Cora:

"You look like you're about to be executed. Cheer up or they'll feed off your misery," She said.

"Let them-" My texting got interrupted when a snow ball knocked my cell out of my hands. What did I tell you? Without Cora's force field of cool and confidence, I am just a sitting duck for abuse.

"Quit sexting, Robin! It doesn't count," Erica smiled, her hands securely in her jacket pockets, and her friends laughed and laughed. I can't believe that got an A on any exam.

I picked up my cell phone from the ground and brushed off the slush sharply, glancing around myself suspiciously. But I couldn't tell who'd actually thrown the snowball

"Fucking assholes did you see-" My texting got interrupted again when another snowball hit me, this time right against my face. OW! Shit motherfucker that was hard and sharp! I snapped my head around to look in the direction it came from. Trevor (popular wiener) came giggling towards me.

"Dude, sorry, I didn't mean to hit your face-" He laughed.

I'm not sure what came over me then. I think it was the lethal dose of sexual frustration mixed with being in love mixed with blatant popular kid abuse; I had all these raging hormones and I didn't know where to channel them.

In any case, I did mean to hit Trevor right in the fucking face. I just, I pulled my free arm back and WHAM! Punched the mother fucker right in the freaking mouth. The girls screamed. The boys did nothing, they stood there like the stupid Neanderthals they are-

Oh my God.

"OW! What the fuck?!" Trevor yelped, clamping his hands over his split lip. I stared at him, my brain short circuiting and shooting sparks. I couldn't make my mouth say sorry, because I wasn't sorry. Which is incredibly sociopathic because all the guy really did was throw a stupid snowball at me. He wasn't cock-blocking me from having sex with the girl I'm in love with. Maybe I oughta just, like, roundhouse kick Amanda while I'm totally out of my fucking mind...

Instead of hitting me back or anything, Trevor went over to the girls and let them twitter over his slight injury.

"Jesus, Robin, you better calm the fuck down," Brandon said sharply from over at his car. I looked over at him, my eyes crazed. You want a piece of me, douche puppy?! Come here! Come on! I'll take you! You might be stronger than me and Trevor put together, but I am one bad ass mother fucker right now-

"Robin I think we better go," Amanda said nervously, standing behind the open driver's side door of her Acura. I didn't say anything and hastily climbed into the passenger seat. Amanda sat down, closed her door, turned on the car and quickly pulled out of the parking spot.

Breathe Robin. Breath. Inhale, exhale. Yes, you just attacked a popular kid because he playfully threw a snowball at you, but it's not the end of the world-

Unless, of course, they collectively decide to kill me for it. Breathe! Breathe. Can you believe I did that?? Holy shit! I'd be much prouder if I wasn't scared shitless of the possible ramifications that could come from the other popular kids tomorrow. The shock of it all was turning my brain to total mush.

Amanda drove slowly and carefully through the snow up to her house. I hyperventilated quietly the whole way. She parked in her driveway and climbed out of the car. I followed her up to her house. She opened the door and let us in, immediately kicking off her fashionable snow boots. Jet came streaking over to us, barking her head off.

"Shut up, Jet!" Amanda commanded. Jet stopped barking but started sniffing me aggressively. Was the dog wheezing from that big sprint across the foyer-?

"... um, are you ok?" Amanda asked me. I blinked and looked at her. Oh that wheezing noise was me. I consciously steadied my breathing.

"Uh... yeah. I, um... don't punch people very often," I explained. And I was freaking out about it now, so there you go. Amanda gave me a funny look and led me into a large family room. The poster was spread out on her coffee table. I sat down on her couch and then felt a little weak and leaned back against the couch heavily.

Loser boy virgins have no place punching popular kids for out of the blue. I was as good as dead.

"You want some water or something?" Amanda asked, both worried and apprehensive.

"Uh no..." I declined, cradling my growingly sore hand against my stomach. An idea suddenly sparked in my swamp of a brain. "Can I ask you something though?" I said to Amanda. She blinked, surprised, and sat down next to me.

"Sure," She encouraged. Her tone was weirdly eager, but I ignored it.

"Just be straight with me: are your friends going to fucking murder me for punching Trevor?" I demanded, frowning, and staring straight at her. She stared back at me for a moment and then blinked and looked away.

"... no," She said confidently. "The stupid revenge isn't worth getting into trouble," She said. A glimmer of hope shone in the total blackness.

"... are you sure?" I insisted, narrowing my eyes. Amanda nodded.

"They give you shit all the time. You were bound to freak out-" She said. I took a breath to protest but then couldn't. Because I had freaked out.

"They'll let it go," She assured me. I breathed easily for the first time in fifteen long minutes. As the fear ebbed, both overwhelming pride and guilt engulfed me. Pride because I'd fought back and decked a popular person and guilt because I'd punched a guy who'd thrown a freaking snowball at me.

"Anyway," Amanda started to say a little uncomfortably.

"Oh yeah," I said, blinking. I leaned over the coffee table and started looking over our poster while Amanda turned on her laptop. Well, I pretended to look over the poster; my brain couldn't focus on anything except my punching someone for the first time in years.

"Everything looks good, yep," I said shortly as a song started playing from Amanda's laptop. Some punk-pop shit... I dunno I wasn't paying attention. I had just given a guy a fat lip and I wanted to have sex with Cora. I was preoccupied. I braced my elbow on the couch's arm rest and held my head in palm, squishing my cheek and staring off into space. I held my sore fist against my stomach lightly.

"Do you like them?" I heard Amanda ask me.

"Sure," I answered. What was she talking about? Oh the music. Oh, no, I didn't like it all, but I couldn't take it back now.

"I have tickets to a Simple Plan concert this weekend," Amanda was saying, propping her legs up on the couch and looking at me.

"That's nice," I said absent-mindedly. I planned to apologize to Trevor tomorrow as soon as I could (I felt really guilty, I couldn't help it). And I also couldn't wait to tell Cora about my semi-crazy punch.

Amanda sighed and turned to her computer.

I bet Cora's going to be proud of me. I mean, she'd probably chuckle and scold me for punching him for no real reason, but she'd be proud, nonetheless.