Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

I opened my eyes Wednesday morning and took a deep breath. Pink Floyd? Since I'm currently mad at God, I'm turning to you for spiritual guidance. All I want are two things:

1.) For Trevor to forgive me and not let the wrath of the populars be unleashed upon me. Let Amanda be right about that one and have them let just let it go. Because I'm a little scared (and by 'a little scared' I mean scared right shitless out of my mind) and worried about that whole thing.

2.) Please... please let me be with Cora. Just... please. I am on my knees. I need her like I need freaking air. It's not that I'm sick of being a virgin specifically, it's not about that: what I can't stand is being a virgin and being completely, gong-show in love with Cora who has actually been attempting to get me into bed. Like, I'm ready to let the virginity go. I have no sentimental attachment to it. So, come on. Let's just... let's just do this.

I looked out my window as I crawled out of bed. The snow had been washed away by rain over night and it was appropriately gray and dull outside. You know, I wasn't that sad the snow was gone. I'd need at least a couple of weeks to be ok with snow again after yesterday. I picked up my cell phone as I rummaged through my closet, getting dressed.

"Guess what I did yesterday," I texted Harold. I wanted to savor telling Cora the story in person.

"What?" Harold texted me back.

"I punched Trevor in the mouth and split his lip," I responded.

"What?? Why??" Harold texted immediately. I proceeded to tell him the story. He told me that if I was truly was sorry, Trevor would let it go and forgive me. Pretty typical Harold response.

Once I was dressed, I trudged down the stairs and blinked to find Linda sitting in the kitchen, drinking some coffee and looking over the newspaper crossword. She was dressed (thankfully), but there was no Glenn with her. So that's a little awkward. Just a little.

"Morning," I said audibly, heading over to the fridge for the juice.

"Morning Robin," She said warmly. I poured myself a glass of juice (since I didn't want to chug from the carton in front of Linda) and leaned against the counter, gulping my drink.

"How are you this morning?" Linda asked conversationally, filling in a word on the crossword.

"Uh… ok," I lied. Linda glanced at me and looked back at her newspaper.

"Um, can I ask you something?" My mouth decided to say out of the freaking blue. Linda looked at me again and blinked.

"Sure," She encouraged. I sat down at the kitchen table, picking at my juice glass with my index finger.

"What's up?" Linda asked curiously.

"Um. I punched someone yesterday," I said to my juice glass. "And I feel really bad about it," I went on. Why was I telling my dad's fiancé about this? Well mostly because when I got punched by Brandon, Linda handled it much better than Glenn did and was even a little helpful. So… yeah. Let's see how this plays out:

"Why did you punch him?" She asked. I'm glad she assumes I wouldn't hit a girl. But, er, I don’t like my answer.

"Um. Well I was just… having a bad day?"I understated, glancing at her briefly. "And, um, he threw a snowball at my face and I kind of freaked out," I finished up. Wow, saying it out loud makes me seem even pettier and more retarded than I’d thought.

"Hm. Well," Linda said thoughtfully, looking up at the kitchen cupboards for inspiration. "If you didn't mean it, and you feel bad," She said looking at me again. I nodded to both things.

"Then just say,' Look-" She paused.

"Trevor," I quickly supplied the name.

"Look, Trevor," Linda began. "I'm truly sorry I hit you. I was having a bad day and I regret taking it out on you. I hope you'll forgive me," She said. Hm, well if I said that word for word, Trevor would probably laugh at me. But I got the gist of how to approach him. I nodded.

"Ok… I can do that," I said. If I can superman up, I can do that. But I really couldn't live with this guilt, so I'd have to just get the guts to talk to Trevor. "Uh, could you do me a favor and not tell dad?" I asked warily, kneading my eyebrows hopefully. Linda smiled.

"Sure. It'll just get him all worked up while we're at my parents' place anyway," She said, revealing slightly selfish intentions. That actually made me chuckle.

"K, thanks," I giggled. Linda grinned. Not bad: so far she's doing pretty good as a step-mom type figure.

I finished my juice, donned my jacket and backpack, and headed out the door. As I was walking down the driveway, I blinked and suddenly stopped in my tracks. No Charger, no Cora. Uhh. Well, now, I didn't know what to make of that: since Cora and I have never verbally laid out plans for her to pick me up in the mornings. She used to do it sporadically but lately has been picking me up more often. It's just… I'd kind of started to fall into a habit of expecting her. Hm. Well that's strange she isn't here. I'll have to deal with that after the Trevor thing.

I walked through the school parking lot, but the Charger wasn't there. At least not yet. I frowned a little, perplexed. I went to my locker by myself (and feeling a little alone and vulnerable without Cora) and six fucking condoms fell out. I groaned quietly and shoved them all in my backpack. I want Cora by my side. This sucks.

I wandered slowly around the school, looking for Trevor. I found him by some lockers, talking with Jake and Carlton. I felt my stomach clench with nervousness and I almost turned around and walked away. But I made myself walk over to them: I couldn't call myself a man if I kept hiding from confrontation behind Cora (not that it makes me weak to let a girl defend me. That's not the point. I just gotta, you know, fight my own battles. Or, er, apologize for fighting my battles).

"Uh oh! Look out, Robin might attack!" Carlton fake-screamed. Jake snorted with laughter. Trevor just looked at me. Damn popular boys: they punch my eye, I look like a punk-ass dork; I punch his mouth, and he looks all tough and scarred and cool.

"What do you want?" Trevor asked me tiredly.

"Look, I, um, I wanted to apologize for, you know, hitting you," I said just as tiredly. "I was having a shitty day and I took it out on you. I'm sorry," I went on quietly and exhausted. I looked at Trevor, who was trying to figure out if I really was sorry.

"Oohh, I get it now. Robin's a virgin cuz he's actually a faaag," Jake giggled to Carlton who burst out laughing. Ack, homophobia! Makes me want to barf, I tell ya. Asswipes.

"Shut. Up," Trevor suddenly grouched at his friends, looking over his shoulder. He looked back at me.

"It's alright. It's over," He actually forgave me, his voice tired again. A considerable weight lifted off my chest. I breathed.

"So we're ok?" I checked on my exhale. Trevor nodded.

"K. Thanks. See ya," I said, nodding to him and sparing the other two assholes a glance.

"See ya," Trevor said after me as I walked away. I widened my eyes and blinked. In that moment, I was thankful I was guy. I imagine that wouldn't have gone so smoothly and cleanly were Trevor and I a couple of warring girls. I hear those issues can get very drawn out and nasty.

I went to Geography and listened to my iPod the entire class. I watched as Amanda handed in our poster and she smiled at me. I returned a micro-smile. I was all mixed up inside: I was very relieved that Trevor had forgiven me (and was allowing me to be stupidly proud of my violence without fear) but I was also feeling weird about Cora. Because (as always) I love her, so I don't like it when she's away from me; I want to have sex with her, so that makes me hate it when she's away from me; and her absence was just plain worrying me.