Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

I went home. What else could I do? I went home, locked the front door behind me, and climbed up the stairs to my room. I left all the overhead lights off because I knew the light would just piss me off. When I got to my room, though, I turned on my side lamp and then flopped down to sit on the floor. I wrapped my arms across my stomach and finally took a deep, steady breath.

Robin? You are stupid for leaving Cora. You should have stayed and talked to her. I know, I know, brain! I know that! I just... I couldn't stay! Take up your beef with my freakin' heart! It's the one that's ruling over every messed up thing I do now.

I closed my eyes and leaned against my bed. I suddenly and weirdly actually wished that Glenn was here. I found myself kinda wanting one of his big dad hugs. I wouldn't tell him what my problem was (oh no, never, I'm bound by my teenage-hood to be secretive) but I'd sheepishly ask for a hug anyway.

I made a slight face. Because once I got the hug I wanted, Glenn would take it too far and hug me for too long and start rubbing my back and kissing my forehead and shit like I was five years old. Blech. Parental love. I sighed an un-amused laugh and closed my eyes tiredly. I'm alone; I might as well try and appreciate the fact that my privacy won't be invaded-

Downstairs the doorbell rang. I inhaled sharply and opened my eyes. What the hell? I hauled myself to my feet and jogged heavily down the stairs. I cautiously opened the door (it wasn't that late, but it was pitch black outside because of the stupid winter season).

Cora. I blinked and opened the door wider. Her car was sitting in my driveway. How had I not heard it from my bedroom?? Probably because I had been too involved in my pity party, fack-

"Hi," Cora said quietly, making me focus again.

"Uh... hey," I said.

"... can I come for a sec?" She asked, unsure. I immediately stepped aside, staring at her. I'd just put my heart fully and directly in her hands, so I was kind of nervous to have her in my presence. Cora entered my house and I closed the door. I turned on the hall light just... because.

"What's up?" I asked anxiously. Cora glanced at me and when she did she began staring at me. I stared back at her, my heart pounding with love for her and those freaking blue eyes-

"Where are your parents, anyway?" Cora asked, avoiding my question.

"Gone for the weekend to visit the future in-laws-" I said.

"Can I see your room?? You have a room don't you?" She asked me suddenly, sounding so gloriously close to her old self. But I could tell she was doing that thing where she covers up issues by being all playfully demanding as per her usual personality. But I knew better then to fall for it.

"Sure," I said. What the hell, I might as well fully fuck with my head by having Cora reject me in my own bedroom. I led her up the stairs into my room. Cora blinked and looked around.

"This is exactly how I pictured it, whoa," She said to herself. I crammed my hands in my pockets, staring at her.

Cora sat down on the bed and her expression changed to look nervous and upset, letting her pretense slip away. Oh... she looked so... vulnerable and sad. It immediately made me very sad; it made me want to fix it, despite the fact that I'd already spilled all of heart and guts to her. Oh well. That's what happens when you're in love: you constantly put the other person before yourself and give yourself the shaft. Siigh.

I don't know why I did it, but instead of sitting next to her, I knelt down on my haunches in front of her.

Cora wouldn't look at my face and just stared downward. Her hands were clenching and unclenching at the sides of my bed.

"Cor?" I prompted. Cora just kept looking at my floor. She rubbed one hand on her thigh.

"Hey," I said, touching her knee to get her attention. Cora slowly closed her eyes and then looked at me. Her eyes darted as they looked in mine. Wow, those blue eyes...

"What's the matter?" I asked straight-forwardly, concerned. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I pushed it aside. I had to let her talk.

"You are what is the matter," She said simply. I hear that, for sure.

"Why?" I asked, just as simply.

"You know why, Robin," She said. My real name: Cora's being dead serious.

"No. I don't... really. I'm in love you Cora. How is that a bad thing, I mean actually?" I asked. Cora rolled her eyes.

"It's a very bad thing," She insisted. I blinked and took a deep breath.

"How do you feel about me? Tell me the truth," I asked, my breathing going a bit haywire. I can't believe I just asked her that outright. Cora glared at me.

"Duh, I'm completely in love with you too, Robin. How could I not be?" She demanded of both of us angrily.

Cora's in love with me.

"But you don't know what you're talking about with the whole... first time thing," She went on. She was trying angrily to make excuses. I don't know what for, but she was struggling to make them.

"Yes I do," I said firmly. I knew damn well what I was talking about.

"Well... then... you don't know who you're talking to," Cora said, looking away from me again.

"Yes I do. I'm talking to Cora, the girl I'm in love with," I said. I was talking so simply, it was kind of liberating.

"Ugh, Robin, stop, please," Cora begged, pushing my hand off her knee. I caught her hand and just held it. She looked at me and her eyes were pleading. I'd never seen her be this vulnerable.

"You don't know what you're talking about, ok? I can't... I can't do this. What you want is something, like, forever. I can't guarantee tomorrow, I'm so, so.... messed up," Cora said. I don't believe that, she's selling herself short.

"I don't care," I lied.

"I refuse to let myself hurt you, Robin. Don't do this, don't make me," Cora said.

"You won't. I don't expect a damn thing Cora. Just... let me love you,"

"Oh shut up. You sound like Freddie Prince Junior movie," Cora snapped suddenly. I grinned, I couldn’t help it, and Cora smiled sadly back. Then she sighed and looked away quickly.

"Cora," I said. She ignored me. I took her face in my hands and made her look at me. She stared, bewildered by my forward actions. My heart was pounding, but I was determined. I was in love with this girl, ok? Everyone is going to have to deal with it, particularly the girl herself.

"I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, in every... sense. Do you want to be with me?" I asked, simple and clear as a bell again. Cora's lips parted and she looked like she was going to cry.

"I... yes," She said softly. Oh my God, my heart just about burst out of my chest. I smiled, completely breathless. Cora shook her head tearfully at me.

"You... you're... crazy! You want a girlfriend, one true love, soul mate and all that perfect stuff!" Cora repeated, grabbing my wrists and shaking them, trying to make me see something that she thought I couldn't see.

"I know I do," I told her.

"Well... then... what the hell?? I think we both know me well enough to know that I just can't give you any of that," Cora snapped. "... even if I wanted to," She finished quietly, biting her lip unhappily.

"You don't have to do anything, Cora. I just want to love you," I said.

"Oh my god," She said at the corniness of my raw confession. Cora groaned and turned her head to look away from me. I didn't care if she thought I was being corny. It was how I felt. Period.

I leaned forward on my knees, coming closer to Cora's face and she turned her head to look at me again. She was so close, she was so pretty. Her blue eyes were staring at me and they still looked tearful.

"All I want is to love you. Will you just... freakin' let me?" I demanded quietly. Cora stared at me and, to my surprise, her lips parted and she was having trouble breathing. I think... oh my God... I think I was sweeping her off her feet. ME. Robin, Boy Virgin, loser extraordinaire was winning over Cora.

"Fuck you," Cora whispered, giving up her unhappy fight. If that wasn't the most ill masked "I love you" I don't know what is, because I heard the sentiment as clearly as if she'd said that instead of her meaningless swearing. I leaned in and kissed her and she wrapped her arms around my neck.