You Were the Last Good Thing About This Part of Town

I came home from my interview to find Pete standing in front of the sink. “Oh god not again!” I cried and made a fast move to cover my eyes.

“Fuck you!” Pete shouted. I uncovered my green eyes.

“Excuse me?!” I growled.

“This fucking sink is pissing me off!” a drop of water fell from the faucet into the sink “Fuck you!” Pete pounded on it. I rolled my eyes. The sink dripped again. Pete slammed the handle down as hard as he could. That seemed to work. “Ha bitch! Who’s your daddy?! Suck my dick!” I rolled my eyes again, Why had I been cursed with such idiots? I glanced at the couch and saw Patrick playing on his laptop.

“How long has he been at this?” I asked.

“Huh?” he asked pulling out a headphone.

“That long huh?” I laughed. Patrick gave me a weird look.

I heard the drip from the kitchen followed by “You fucking whore!”. Patrick looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Amber make him stop! Please!” he begged. I held back a laugh as I went back into the kitchen. I stood behind Pete and gazed over his shoulder at the sink.

“Maybe it’s mad at you after this morning?” I offered.

“Oh I’ll piss on it again if that’s the case!” Pete growled.

“No!” Patrick, Andy, and I yelled. The sink dripped again.

“Go to hell you fucking slut!” Pete yelled. I couldn’t help but laugh. Andy shook his head and went back to his comic. Patrick slipped his headphones back in. I realized someone was missing.

“Hey Andy, where’s your twin?” I asked.

“Not his twin!” Andie yelled from her room.

“Does that answer your question?” Andy asked not looking up from the comic.

“It does.” I nodded. I glanced back at Pete. He was now squatting on the edge of the sink growling viscously.

“Dude, just let it go.” I laughed.

“That’s wasting water!” Andy argued. Damn Andy and his damn awesomeness! Why did he have to be right?! Pete nodded at Andy.

“And it’s annoying!” he added. Andie slipped into the kitchen.

“You’re annoying.” she scoffed. She opened the fridge and took out a Mountain Dew.

“So are you sasquatch!” Pete snapped. I bit back a laugh. Andie dropped the plastic soda bottle to the floor.

“Did he just call me sasquatch?!” Andie growled. Patrick nodded. “Oh that’s it monkey boy!” she shoved Pete into the sink and began trying to flip the garbage disposal on. “Say goodbye to your dick!” she shouted. I tried to pull her away from the sink.

“Andie, calm, calm! He didn’t mean it!”

“Yes I did!” Pete yelled. Andie started struggling against me.

“Not helping Peter!” I yelled. Andie was almost out of my control now.

“You think I’m kidding Chimpy?!” I bit back another laugh. Andie’s monkey jokes could be pretty funny sometimes. I couldn’t think of anyway to distract Andie so I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“I got the job!” Patrick clapped and Andy gave me a thumbs up but Andie was still trying to murder Pete. Well at least his future kids. I heard the garbage disposal click on and Pete screamed in terror. I was running out of options. Then my miracle walked through the door. Joe came in carrying a bunch of grocery bags. “Joe! Your sister! Help me!” I shouted. Joe dropped the bags and came running over,

“Ah the eggs!” Patrick cried out.

Joe ended the war much faster than I ever could have. He simply poured Andie’s Mountain Dew over her head. It worked well enough. She stopped trying to kill Pete and started chasing Joe down the hall trying to kill him instead. Pete stood up and fixed himself. He glanced at the sink waiting for the inevitable drip. It never came.

“Hey the sinks fixed!” He cheered. “Thank you Andie!” I rolled my eyes and laughed. “So you got the job?” Pete asked pulling out a chair for me at the messy kitchen table.

“Yeah, I start next week.” I sat down across from Pete.

“Where at?” He asked. I bit my lip to hold back a squeal.

“AP magazine, I’m interning.” I smiled happily. I had always wanted to be a reporter. Pete didn’t smile back.

“But doesn’t that mean you have to travel and stuff?” he asked.

“Eventually, yes.” I admitted.

“So I won’t get to see you all the time.” he pouted. I smiled lovingly.

“We can still hang out and stuff. Besides it’s not like your not in a band yourself. I could end up interviewing you one day when you’re a big time rock star.” I tried to make Pete feel better. Instead he ended up on the floor laughing at the idea of becoming a rock star.