Status: Very slow.
Hear Me Out
The beginning.
It gets really lonely, once in awhile. All the silence around me.
I'm just sitting here, 18 year old Larissa Butler with little to no friends.
Of course there's Ashley, and Zack, but I can see they don't want to be around me for very long.
I don't blame them, though.
I flinch whenever they're voice rises an octave too high.
I'm surprised they put up with me at all. - I wouldn't.
They're my only source of basic human contact, though. So it is selfish of me to hang around them? Should I keep my distance to make their life better, and mine worse?
No. Not yet, atleast. They'll be off to college soon, anyway.
Me? I'm going to work with the deaf. I want to be able to help other people.
I feel like people do nothing but try and help me with my life, so I have some debt I need to pay to society.
I mean, my single mother basically has to live in a world of silence along with me.
I'm making her suffer from my own disease, and you don't call that selfish?
It's all my fault. The inevitable loneliness that surrounds my whole world and sucks people in with me.
She can't talk to her only daughter without it sending me into a panic attack.
She can't have a lover that will understand the situation without going crazy from lack of noise within the household.
You could hear a mouse in this place.
Could you even call that a home?
It's no home.
There's no laughter, no giggles, no good memories. Just a space of sleeping and eating.
And it's all my fault.
It seems everything is.
Maybe my dad wouldn't have left.
Maybe my mom would still be happy.
Maybe i wouldn't be such a burden.
It's not as if I've never tried. I do, and I notice my impact a lot. I don't want to be a nuisance onto my own mother.
But there's no use in it anymore.
I'm just a girl that's damned.
And with no way out.
I'm just sitting here, 18 year old Larissa Butler with little to no friends.
Of course there's Ashley, and Zack, but I can see they don't want to be around me for very long.
I don't blame them, though.
I flinch whenever they're voice rises an octave too high.
I'm surprised they put up with me at all. - I wouldn't.
They're my only source of basic human contact, though. So it is selfish of me to hang around them? Should I keep my distance to make their life better, and mine worse?
No. Not yet, atleast. They'll be off to college soon, anyway.
Me? I'm going to work with the deaf. I want to be able to help other people.
I feel like people do nothing but try and help me with my life, so I have some debt I need to pay to society.
I mean, my single mother basically has to live in a world of silence along with me.
I'm making her suffer from my own disease, and you don't call that selfish?
It's all my fault. The inevitable loneliness that surrounds my whole world and sucks people in with me.
She can't talk to her only daughter without it sending me into a panic attack.
She can't have a lover that will understand the situation without going crazy from lack of noise within the household.
You could hear a mouse in this place.
Could you even call that a home?
It's no home.
There's no laughter, no giggles, no good memories. Just a space of sleeping and eating.
And it's all my fault.
It seems everything is.
Maybe my dad wouldn't have left.
Maybe my mom would still be happy.
Maybe i wouldn't be such a burden.
It's not as if I've never tried. I do, and I notice my impact a lot. I don't want to be a nuisance onto my own mother.
But there's no use in it anymore.
I'm just a girl that's damned.
And with no way out.
♠ ♠ ♠
It's the first on, guys. So don't give up on me yet, please?I'm not going to update very often. I'm not much of a writer, more of a reader.
I'll probably get the second chapter out by next week. it kind of depends on the feedback, also.
Soyeah. Sorry if it sucks, i really don't know.
And i'm aware it's pretty short.
But in the next chapter, it'll be the actual plot line.
This was just an introduction into the story.
But i love feedback.
and if anyone wants me to read their stuff, i'll be happy too.
but be warned, i'm a bit of a bitch. ;)