Secret Wickedness

Flick.
Flick.
Flick

She flicked her lighter on and off, on and off, over and over again, watching the bright flame as she walked through dirty streets, on the way to her one place of comfort. A bar. Any bar. Didn't matter where. Just as long as there was alcohol, she was absolutely satisfied. Her heels click-clacked on the crumbling concrete as she thought about the night ahead and her plans.

Her plans...

Her rotten plans.

She was so beyond ready to follow through with them, or at least that's what she told herself as she saw the dilapidated "bar"'s neon lights looming ahead. It wasn't truly a bar, unless the definition of a bar was a place full of hopeless losers, just waiting for something good to happen. People who drank their sorrows away, like the rare businessman who came in and complained about how their wife never puts out anymore, or how their boss is a dick head who they couldn't wait to outshine them at the next presentation. But those men were rare occasions in this disgusting establishment. It was mostly full of young druggies, who ran out of money to feed their addiction, and now where resorting to the cheaper source of liquid courage, or whatever it was these twenty-sums got out of shooting up. The other main occurrences were old perverts, waiting for some barely legal pussy to come in so that they can get their filthy paws on them. And ones, just like this woman now standing before the door, who truly had nothing to do with their lives. They were unfortunate individuals, full of emptiness and discouraging thoughts. They were the meaningless percentage of mankind, completely despondent and so ready for the end.

Which brings us back to this woman's plans.

Tonight, she would take her life.

She would end it all in one fatal swish of a blade.

She finally had summoned up the guts to follow through with it. She felt, that by continuing to live, she was just causing herself more pain and suffering. Her life had nothing to it and she felt that she didn't need to continue on. She sure as hell didn't mind being alive, and surely no one else cared for her and her life. She was a hopeless nobody.

But first, before she went through with her plans, her rotten plans, she needed something special in her system. The one thing that she ever loved on this unkind earth.

Alcohol.

"Well, if it isn't pretty little Bailey Sue." Said the scraggly bartender.

"Hey Gerry," Bailey Sue said, giving Gerry one of her rarely seen smiles.

"What'll it be tonight, darling?" He asked her.

"Something strong." Bailey Sue said, as she climbed onto one of the few bar stools that would stay upright if weight were to be put on it. "May be my last."

"Oh, well, good for you, I guess."

Bailey Sue knew, that without a doubt, Gerry believed that she was going to get clean. It was the only way he could process what the words she had said actually meant. He saw her as this lively girl, who had been going through some rough times, and sought out alcohol to solve her problems, or at least make them distant. And she was lively, but only when she was around Gerry.

He was her best friend.

When she needed a smile, he was sure to give it to her. When she needed a shoulder to cry on, he never seemed less willing. And best of all, when she ran out of drinks, he was there to fill 'er up.

She would always appreciate the impact he made on her life. She would have disappeared from this world a long time ago if he hadn't have been there for her to sort some things out before she finally chose to follow through with her plans.

But she would never tell him of these rotten plans. Bailey Sue never could. It would break his heart. He saw her as a young, beautiful, kind-yet-troubled woman, and that's all she planned to show him. She couldn't bare to see the hurt expression his withered face would hold if she broke the news to him.

So she was not going to.

After all, she couldn't risk having her plans being foiled.

Her rotten plans.

She was thankful to have come to the bar about in hour earlier than her usual time. All the more time to drink before she was gone. That, and the fact that some of the assholes, who would sit at the bar and either gawk at or hit on her, had yet to arrive. She would be able to drink and waste away in peace, instead of pondering whether or not it was the guy on her left or right who had pinched her ass.

So there this lonesome woman sat. Chatting with the aged bartender, trying not to let herself fall apart. Usual routine. One, DRINK! Two, try not to break down in front of Gerry. Three, never ever, ever tell him your plans.

Her rotten plans.

The whole surreal reality that she was about to die had yet to sink in, though, Bailey Sue knew it would come after she downed a few more drinks. But she would not break down. She would not allow her self to fall apart at the seams. One part of her was advising that she not follow through with it, and move on with her life. Become more of the person she'd always dreamed of being. But Bailey Sue didn't think that chance would ever come. She would be haunted by her past her whole life, so what was the point of even attempting to cover it up by fame or fortune. Those traits would never be acquired by her.

So she followed the voice in her head which told her to just give up. There was no way of getting around her shame or abashment. She could not be saved, could not be helped. She was a hopeless being. And she didn't need this anymore.

Her thoughts seemed too stray once she caught sight of three men coming through the door.

They were obviously newcomers. They seemed extremely disgusted by the revolting appearance of this once upbeat establishment, which was clearly the reaction of someone who had never once been in the vicinity of this place, let alone inside.

The first man to walk through the door was a quite attractive. He was quite tall, with slight muscles adorning his severely tattooed arms. He reeked of superiority and dominance. The glasses placed on his nose were the only thing that toned down his obvious love for himself, but that barely showed.

The second man too walk through the door had the same sense of superiority about him. He was shorter than the first man, but that did not seem to down-size his supremacy at all. He looked like a destructive man. His ego was surely too large for many too handle, but he didn't care. He was just as gorgeous as the first, with shiny black hair on his head, his obviously toned body covered by a black button down shirt carelessly tucked into a pair of tattered jeans. He had a serious aura about him. Like he had a job to do and he wouldn't leave until it was down. A great quality, if used for good.

The last man to walk through the door was anything but the least. He was quite burly, and so obviously the leader of the pack. Just by the way the men looked at him once he walked through the door, eyes asking what to do next, anyone could tell. He was better than everyone in this place, and he knew it.

Bailey Sue tore her gaze away from them and gulped down her drink as they passed behind her, finding a place to sit. They chose three stools which were separated from Bailey Sue's by merely one. She kept her eyes glued to her glass until she finally downed the entire thing and waved Gerry over.

"You know those guys?"She said faintly, being careful that the intimidating men didn't hear her.

Gerry shook his head, then said, "You?"

"No,"She said,"but they seem kind of spooky."

She wouldn't admit that she was insanely turned on by these strangers, or that they made her anxious too. Especially to Gerry.

"You want some more of that?"He asked her, nodding towards her empty glass.

"Yes, please."She said, giving him a smile, amid her anxiousness.

Gerry poured her another drink, and she promptly went to work avoiding the gazes of the strangers, who must of heard her softly spoken words, because now they were staring at her intensely. She felt like the men could see right through her, into her soul. She felt as if her whole being was on display to them. She felt naked, all thoughts, hopes, and dreams barred for all to see.

Damn those mysterious men.

So she sat there, avoiding their gazes as best as she could and downing drink after drink. She even felt somewhat relieved when T-Bone walked through the door and made a beeline for her. Which was odd, because she rarely ever felt comfortable around T-Bone, the "drug dealer" degenerate.

She was just thankful for a distraction.

"How have you been, Kitty?"T-Bone, who's real name was Timothy, was quite the character.

He was a young man who was in more deep shit than an average twenty-five year old should be. But he had wanted Bailey Sue ever since she walked through that damned door. He had even told her once that she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

And boy, has T-Bone seen a lot of so called "creatures".

But he never got her.

And never will, due to the events that she planned would happen tonight.

Her rotten plans.

Bailey Sue of course, did not plan to share this crucial information with the man who had pined for her for the past three months, even if it would leave him empty. Or cock-blocked, at least.

"Same as usual, T-Bone. Shitty."Bailey Sue said, thankful that T-Bone had sat on the empty seat to her right, rather then her left. She was certain that if he had sat on the left side, she would end up catching the eyes of those mysterious strangers. And she did not want that.

"I could brighten up your day, Kitty."He said, grinning naughtily.

He just never gives up, does he?

T-Bone had settled on calling her Kitty after she came to the bar a second time and continued refusing to accept any drugs from him. He thought it might help her... Shall we say, warm up too him, by giving her a little nickname, which only he called her by.

"I know you could, but I'd rather you didn't." She said giving him a flicker of a smile.

"Why not, Kitty Cat?"He said, frowning a little.

Why not?

Why not... Why not have one last good fuck before I die, Bailey Sue thought.

"I'm not sure." She said, suddenly uncertain.

"Ah, that's more like it. Gonna give me somewhat of a chance?"He pouted at her.

Come to think of it, Bailey Sue didn't really think T-Bone was too bad. She actually, hard to admit but true, kind of liked him. He was great company. He can make her laugh, smile, and even cry. He was truly a kindhearted kid, who really seemed to like Bailey Sue, or Kitty, as he preferred to call her. That made him and his antics seem even more hilarious too Bailey Sue. A thoughtful and quite attractive man, liking a corrupt and untrustworthy nobody who was planning on killing herself as we speak? Unheard of.

Bailey Sue found her self letting out a slight giggle at her own thoughts.

"What's so funny, Kitty?" T-Bone asked her, slightly confused.

She giggled one last time before looking up at T-Bone. Like really looked at him. Stared into his eyes, which were much more gorgeous then she ever remembered them being. He... was gorgeous.

Right?

No.

No no no!

Bailey Sue averted her gaze as she mentally scolded herself.

Little girl, you can not be thinking of these things!! They will ruin your plans! Think of only death. Peace and happiness can only come to you through death!

Bailey Sue sighed and opened her eyes, not realizing she had clamped them shut.

"I'm sorry, T-Bone. Just not tonight." She sighed, picking up her drink and downing what was left.

"But Kitty-"He began but was suddenly cut short as a large hand clasped his shoulder in a tight, menacing grip.

Bailey Sue swallowed the lump that had decided to take place in her throat. She did not find this hand very friendly.

"She said no."

"Who the fuck are you, and what do you have to do with this conversation?!" T-Bone shouted, sounding completely enraged.

Nonono, this is not happening, Bailey Sue thought as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.

T-Bone was gonna get himself killed.

"She said no."

"Why are you ignoring my question, you fucking cunt?!"

Bailey Sue jumped at the sound of fist hitting skin.

Oh please God no. I haven't had enough to drink. Please just let me drink some more and I'll leave before anything happens. I do not need this shit tonight.

Obviously, the blow had been unexpected by T-Bone, and he quickly got up, clutching his jaw, and glaring at the stranger.

So while everyone sat and watched, an all out bar brawl was taking place in front of Bailey Sue. She noticed that the man beating the living daylights out of T-Bone was the last man to walk in, the leader of the pack of unknown men.

Bailey Sue thought of what he did as a kind gesture, if not completely unnecessary. If it would have any of the other scum that walked into this bar to hit on her, it would have been fine, but not T-Bone. T-Bone would never hurt her, or force her into anything she didn't want to do. He would just nag like a three year old, asking the same question over and over, just waiting for the answer to it to change. But it never had. And Bailey Sue thought it was somewhat brave of T-Bone to come in here every night and ask her the same question once again. Albeit annoying, but still brave. T-Bone was lucky Bailey Sue didn't sock him whenever she got the chance.

On that thought, Bailey Sue instantly went to work trying to break up the fight that was going on before her. And somewhat because of her.

"Stop it! Stop!"Bailey Sue screamed trying to pull the bulky man's arm away from T-Bone as he punched him repeatedly after T-Bone laid a good one on him, right in the eye.

The stranger just ended up elbowing her in the stomach, the force of the blow sending her flying back into the bar. She held her back in pain as she tried to regain her breath, which had been knocked out of her due to the elbow in the stomach. Gerry, seeing she was in pain due to the fight, quickly came out from behind the bar and proceeded to break it up.

T-Bone, who was still writhing on the floor in agony, had blood gushing from his nose, and Bailey Sue immediately went to him after the man had been pulled off of him, by the help of Gerry and the guy's mates.

"Are you okay, T-Bone?"Bailey Sue said, running up to him after grabbing napkins to wipe of the blood.

"Jeez Kitty, that hurt. He punches fucking hard." He wheezed trying to talk through the pain and breathlessness.

"I'm sorry, T-Bone. I did not see that coming. We weren't even really arguing..."Bailey Sue said, somewhat disappointed that their conversation had ended despite that fact that he would have been begging most of the time.

"S'okay..."He mumbled just before passing out cold.

"Shit."Bailey Sue said.

Tonight was not going as planned! All she wanted to do was drink then die, and now it was all fucked up!

"Don't worry about him, Bailey Sue. I'll take him to the bed in the back."Gerry said to her.

"Oh... Okay."She said as she watched Gerry pick up T-Bone and carry him to the back room.

Bailey Sue had a sudden burst of rage as she saw the still unknown man cracking his slightly bloodied knuckles.

"What the fuck was that, you cunt?"Bailey Sue screamed at him.

"You said no."He said, somewhat amazed at her sudden shriek but at the same time excited.

"Is that all you fucking say?! 'She said no', 'You said no'. I fucking know that I said no, but what did you have anything to do with it?!"

He seemed somewhat defeated at that and just shrugged.

"You just beat my friend to a bloody fucking pulp and all you can do it shrug and say 'You said no.'? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of person are you?"

"The kind of person that likes to fight people."He said, grinning.

This only seemed to make Bailey Sue more angry.

"Oh, you are just-"

Wait. Did I just say T-Bone was my friend. Oh God... Attachment is dangerous!! Not a good thing if you plan on dying tonight.

Bailey Sue continued this battle in her brain over her stupidity as the men stared at her like she was crazy.

"Just what?" He asked her, breaking her train of thought.

"Just the worst kind of person."She spit out, before turning back and climbing back onto her stool, suddenly realizing how bad her back actually hurt.

She sat up straight and arched her back, cracking it in the process, while saying, "Jesus, man, you fucked up my back."

The guy chuckled at her mood change, then proceeded to sit beside her on the stool that was earlier occupied by T-Bone, who was now passed out in the back, hopefully not bleeding to death.

"Sorry 'bout that. Didn't meant to hurt you. I was just trying to get you out of the way." He said, still grinning.

It was then Bailey Sue noticed how adorable he was when he smiled. He had the most adorable little dimples on the equally adorable face that was somewhat covered by the aviators he still had placed on his nose. Bailey Sue found him very attractive, to say the least.

"Well, I wish you could've done it in a less painful way."

Truthfully, Bailey Sue didn't care. Pain brought her closer to death it seemed, and she'd been waiting for death her whole life.

By now, Bailey Sue was getting antsy.

"Fuck, why can't the clock move faster!"Bailey Sue whined as the man chuckled. It was not even after nine o'clock and Bailey Sue had arrived just before seven thirty. "I feel like I've been here for at least four hours."

"Well, too much excitement, I guess." The guy said, chuckling.

What the hell did he find so funny? Bailey Sue thought to herself as she watched the man smiling while talking to his friends. Why is he so happy, and I'm just emotionally dead?

"So is your name really Kitty, or is that just a pet name." He grinned.

"Only T-Bone calls me Kitty, thank you very much. And my real name is Bailey Sue. What about you? Is your name really Douche Bag?"She said, dead serious, causing all three men to laugh.

"Nope, I'm pretty sure it's Matt."He said, still lightly laughing.

"Well, hello Matt. I want to kill you."

Apparently they thought that was hysterical, because they all three burst into laughter that ricocheted off the walls.

As they continued to tremble with booming laughter, Bailey Sue downed one of the drinks that was setting in front of her, not caring that it was Matt's. She saw him bring it over, and Gerry was still on the back, so it was the only drink available. And damn was it good.

"Now why is that?"He said, trying to catch his breath.

"Because you keep laughing at me. And you're too goddamn adorable to be that fucking annoying."She pouted.

"I'm adorable now, the big scary man with the gigantic muscles is adorable? Never heard that."

"It's clearly the dimples."She stated simply, before suddenlyDouche Bag's Matt's lips were on hers. She sat in her stool, completely frozen in shock, before she suddenly felt this wave of electricity pull through her. Bailey Sue immediately wrapped her arms around Matt's neck and began to kiss him back with an unusual force and need.

She hadn't been kissed like this in years. Hell, Bailey Sue didn't even believe she'd been truly kissed after the one this behemoth laid on her. She was beyond amazed. She suddenly felt very giddy and like a complete airhead. She started to see things behind her eyes. First, little white dots, then they slowly progressed into several colors ranging from magenta to gray. She felt woozy and mesmerized.

Could this possibly all be from the kiss?.. Damn he's good...Bailey Sue said as they continued to attack each others lips, pressing them together so hard it seemed like they would burst.

She was so mesmerized that she didn't feel the cold metal of a gun being pressed to the back of her head. She hadn't realized how the two other men where quickly running around, stealing money from the cash register and also many bottles of alcohol. But she was quickly snapped out of her daze as Gerry came through the door, shouting.

"What do you think you're doing?! I'll call the cops! I will repor-"Gerry's words were cut short as one of the men silenced him with a bullet to the head.

Bailey Sue suddenly began to choke and tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She watched as Gerry eyes rolled to her, staring at her, eyes questioning and shocked, before turning blank.

Gerry was dead.

His death seemed to flip a switch in Bailey Sue's brain.

"What the fuck are you doing?! You just... Just..." Bailey Sue was suddenly hit with a wave of drowsiness, and she couldn't even seem to form words as her vision became hazy. "You... You did this... to me.."

She saw Matt, or rather, a blurred Matt, stand before her and faintly felt him pick her up as he said, "Sure did, Kitty."

Bailey Sue awoke with a start. She couldn't seem to get enough air in her lungs and she was soaked to the bone with sweat. She tried to rid her mind of the terrible thoughts leftover from her all to real dream.

"You okay baby?"

"Yes." No.

"Well then, go back to sleep." Matt grumbled, loudly snoring again within minutes.

Bailey Sue couldn't move. Her muscles refused to move. It was as though her brain had stopped working all together. All though she wanted too, her brain would not send out the message to her muscles. Bailey Sue was stuck, one moment in time replaying over and over again in her mind, torturing her more and more every second.

That one moment.

Gerry looking at her. Staring into her soul. Several unasked questions in his eyes. His pleading eyes.

Suffering.

That brilliant yet humble man. All caring thoughts silenced with a gruesome bullet to the head.

Bailey Sue lost her best and only friend that night. She would never have a connection with some one like that ever again. Every time the thought of Gerry dying came to her mind, she couldn't help but plead that it had been her instead. Gerry had so much more to give to this world. So much happiness to offer to any other hopeless girl that wandered into his bar.

Bailey Sue wanted to be the dead one so terribly that sobs racked her body, all of her pent up aggravation spilling forth. She wished it all could be so simple and it could truly be just a dream. Just a dream.

Bailey Sue knew that was impossible. She knew her life would never be the same. She knew she would never be happy, healthy, or sane ever again.

She was stuck in this nightmare forever.