Love Was Easy When We Didn't Make It So Hard

I sat in the red and white striped chair in the living room of Eric and my townhouse. My aching feet rested gently on the glass coffee table as Eric hauled in my luggage from the airport taxi we had taken. My hands were folded over my large stomach as my son moved beneath the length of my fingers, fidgeting and occasionally rubbing up against my ribs in a way that made me want to squirm. Gabby laid next to me, eyes closed and tired after the excitement of being able to see me again. My parents had driven out to Chicago a week ago to the day in order to get Gabby and a few of my things along with the babies so that everything could be in order when I came home to Minnesota.

I was seven months pregnant and had hit the flying limit, making it a necessity for me to be home for the last two months of my pregnancy. It was saddening for me to think that I would need to say goodbye to Eric for that same duration of time. I hated that we had to be apart, but we both knew that this was for the best. We didn't want to spend more time than necessary in Chicago and we didn't want to drive or fly the baby back to Minnesota. That left one option- me living in Minnesota for two months without Eric's help.

A lot of my time here I would be kept company by friends and family just in case I needed help with anything, all of them perfectly willing to take up the role Eric would need to vacate until the playoffs were over. I sighed at that thought, hating but loving how good the Bears were doing in the playoffs. They were projected to go deep into January, making me worry that I would need to be alone with a new born, fending for myself with zero help from the baby's father.

"I think that's the last of everything." Eric murmured as he came to sit on the arm of my chair. I nodded at him, keeping my eyes looking out across the frozen lake. "You feeling okay?" He asked me, his large hand coming to rest atop of mine before drifting lower onto my stomach, cupping the baby softly.

"Yes." I answered, "I'm just tired. And my feet hurt." I added as an after thought, sighing and shifting around as my back started to cramp from the awkward slouched position I was sitting in. Eric grabbed my upper arm and helped me sit up, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and dipping his head to kiss my cheek. He nuzzled my cheek next making me sigh happily. I loved the affection he was giving me.

"I'll take care of that." He murmured to me, scooping his arms around and under my body, lifting me easily. I looked into his face and at the bulge of his biceps, wondering if he was having a hard time holding me as he carried me to the couch. "I bench press more than your weight." He told me as if he knew what I was thinking. He sat down on the couch, letting me lean against the curve of the L shaped couch. I sighed as I sunk back into the pillows as Eric took off my socks, beginning to work his strong fingers into the tender muscles of my feet and ankles.

"Look at my ankles. They're so fat!" I exclaimed with a giggle, no longer concerned that my ankles were twice their size.

"They look better than a couple of days ago." He reminded me. Last weekend we had gone grocery shopping and after walking around for an hour, I had to go home and be weighted down with a bag of frozen peas on one ankle and a bag of mixed veggies on the other. Needless to say, I was not amused with my ankles.

"True." I murmured to Eric. I sunk into the cushions as we fell quiet again, Eric massaging my feet with a delicate but firm pressure, while we just enjoyed the silence and the last few moments we would be allowed to spend with each other. I sighed quietly before crooking my finger at him. He smiled and leaned forward, allowing me to cup his chin and pull his face to mine.

"What are you going to do while I'm here and you need to go back to Chicago?" I asked him, looking into his soft brown eyes. He chuckled quietly, lifting a hand to tangle his fingers in the long and wavy strands of my hair.

"I'll spend a majority of my time missing you and 3 hours of the day using football to take my mind off of where you are and how you aren't with me."

"Good boy." I smiled largely at him before nuzzling our noses together.

"I already know what you'll be doing." He insisted, pulling back and looking down at my large belly. You're going to be resting and trying to convince our son that you're the better parent." I giggled and batted at his head, softly giving it a nudge.

"I don't need to tell him that. He's smart, which he gets from me, and already knows who's better."

"False." Eric stated.

"No!" I giggled, urging on the pout that was present on his precious face. "He is going to be a mama's boy."

"You can't play football and be a mama's boy." Eric insisted, his brows and nose wrinkling cutely.

"He isn't playing football." I told him with a straight face. Eric's fingers stilled and he slowly turned towards me. His face held a look of shock and confusion as he tried to figure out what to say. His mouth dropped open and then shut again as he looked at my belly.

"Baby boy, mama is already depriving you of your masculinity." I snorted and began to laugh as he set his mouth against the moving bump. A foot drifted across my skin, making me shiver and press into it. "Hey! He was voicing his opinion. He wants to play football. Stomp his tracks into the grid iron." I rolled my eyes at that and the fact that Eric seriously thought the kid already knew he wanted to play football.

"He isn't even here yet and you're already trying to make him daddy's little star." I teased lightly. Eric, finally understanding the sarcasm in my no football comment, let out a relieved chuckle before continuing to massage my feet.

"I'll love him no matter what." Eric mused softly.

"But if he had been a girl..." I trailed off with a smirk.

"I would have loved her all the same." He finished. "I'd love a boy or a girl just as much as long as you are their mother."

"I better be the only mother to your children." I told him with a warning tone.

"About that..." I reached towards him despite my slower movements and gave him a hard, loud slap on the shoulder. "Of course you're my only baby mama. No one does it like you." He winked at me while a large, wild grin stretched his lips apart.

I felt a faint blush creep up my neck and flushing my cheeks. A surging head moved across my breasts and then down my body. I felt a flutter that wasn't the baby along my stomach. Eric, sensing my change in mood, gave me a slow, sensual smile before he pushed my feet from his lap, and crawled along the couch until his face was directly over mine. His lips pressed against the soft skin behind my ear lobe, making my eyes flutter shut. I bit the corner of my lip as I gripped his thick muscles greedily. I let out a breathy sigh as his lips moved along my jaw before dipping into the nook of my neck and shoulder. I dug my nails into his back as one of his hands ran along my side and then across my chest, softly squeezing my breast. I moaned loudly and then pressed my forehead in the crook of his neck. My lips sucked his skin into my mouth as Eric softly pressed his hips into mine.

"I think..." I paused to take in a breath, "this needs to move upstairs." I finished, balling my hands into fists, taking his Bears shirt into my hands. He pulled back, eyes glazed, breathing heavy and lips looking thoroughly kissed.

"Don't play me like that. Don't joke right now, Ry." He wheezed out, speaking of the previous moments that things had escalated only to come to a quick stop from my doing.

"Shut up and take me upstairs." I demanded, locking my arms around his neck and holding my breath as he hoisted me up. We both looked down, noticing how our chests weren't pressed together like usual. I frowned and sighed, but Eric just smiled and looked into my eyes, brown orbs loaded down with love and lust.

"I wouldn't want you any other way right now, than the way you are." He whispered before leading the way up the stairs so he could remind me how beautiful I was, and how he would love me no matter how skinny I was or wasn't.

Life couldn't get any more perfect when Eric was around.
***

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the edge of the jacuzzi tub, sighing as I felt the luke warm water wrap around my body. My arms came up and wrapped around my large stomach. I held the baby as me moved and kicked beneath my hands, using his motor skills, but this time I could appreciate it because it wasn't three in the morning and I was trying to sleep. I clutched my nine month pregnant belly, trying to get my mind off the fact that is had been a month n and a half since I had seen little Decker's father.

Eric left me here two days after I moved back to Minnesota, in a subbing mess and trying to cling to him. We both knew it was the hormones that ere giving me such vicious separation anxiety, but that didn't make it easier on either of us when Eric walked on to the plane. I could still visualize his retreating back through the blurry vision of my tears. I could still remember the way I had clutched on to Jake and baby Decker, wondering how I was going to make it through the next two months with out my love.

Eric had called twice a day, everyday since he had been gone, each time expressing how difficult it was to be without me. He would also request some time to speak to his son. I would put him on speaker and he would coo to our unborn child anything that came to his mine. He would tell him about practice, eating, and of course how much he loved and missed him. I smiled softly at that thought, giggling at Eric and how soft his son was making him.

I closed my eyes as the tears began to form, instead focusing on finding something positive to think of. I thought of my doctor's appointment two days prior, and the good news Dr. Barnes had delivered. Baby Decker was developing perfectly and was scheduled to actually be born on his due date in a week and a half. Eric would be spending the week with me in order to stay on his toes, flying to Chicago for the game only if it was 100% necessary that he be there. But with his absence, the Bears could give their rookies a shot to shine in the spotlight.

I reached for a loofah and the bottle of lavender body wash, squirting the light purple soap onto the rough fabric. Moving my hands, I worked the soap into a lather before spreading the white suds along my body. I paid special attention to the worn and stretched skin of my belly, thinking back to last week when Eric had called with the news that he finally finished the nursery. He had complained about setting up the crib, painting, and loading all the furniture in, but I knew that doing all of that secretly made him more excited about the baby coming.

I cupped my hands full of water, dumping the liquid on my belly to wash away the white soap. I giggled and pressed my hands against my son, reaching forward to kiss him lightly- yes my stomach was that big. I leaned back again, wincing slightly at the stitch of pain that shot through my lower abdomen. I closed my eyes, sitting forward, hands on my stomach and pushing out a breath against the pain.

"Not now." I whispered to the baby before groaning. "Not when your dad is in Denver." I felt my chest tighten from the panic, not moving, just thinking, before grabbing my phone and dialing Eric's number. I knew it was severely close to his game time in the Mile High City, but I needed to catch him before he was completely out of range.

"Honey, I can't talk right now. Coach is about to-"

"Eric, shut up." I snapped, my emotions grabbing ahold of my voice and making me croak.

"What's wrong?" Eric asked, suddenly very alarmed. I waited until the background noise of the locker room disappeared before speaking. "Baby."

"I think its time." I told him carefully stroking my stomach with my free hand.

"Babe, are you sure?" He asked, stress coating his voice.

"The pain just started, but I'm 99% sure that its today." I told him, feeling the pressure beginning to build.

"Well, has your water broken?" He asked after a heavy sigh.

"I wouldn't know. I'm in the bath tub." I let out a nervous chuckle as Eric sighed deeply again before a small groan escaped. "Honey, it's not that big of a deal. All you have to do is get on a plane and meet me at the hospital. I'll call Jake and have him bring me." I smiled softly before moving to sit up. It was a much harder task than it should have been to make my way to my feet, but I made it. I carefully climbed out of the tub, wrapping my body in my plush to be before moving to the bedroom to get dressed. Eric was quiet as I slowly walked around, checking that my bag was packed and then began to grab my clothes. When a few moments had passed without a word from my husband, I paused my actions.

"What?" I asked him, wincing at a slice of pain and grabbing the door frame. It wasn't that it was terribly painful, but to the point where it was too uncomfortable to not bend over and clutch at my stomach. "Ow." I whimpered quietly as Eric let out another strangled sigh.

"Baby, I don't know how to tell you this without freaking you out. But honest to God, a huge snow storm just moved into the area."

Panic grabbed at my stomach and gave it a big hard tug, making me groan loudly as I felt the uncomfortableness turn into a sharp pain that made me want to scream. I bit my lip, tears forming in my eyes as I thought that this was the worst possible scenario that I could every think of happening.

"So what you're saying..." I had to stop because I was starting to cry, "is that you're going to make me do this by myself?" I pushed out, my face starting to flush and then my heart starting pounding and breaking all at the same time. "Eric, please." I cried out to him.

"Riley, calm down. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it might take awhile for me to get there, and if something happens with the baby, you're going to have to forget about me being there and focus on getting him out safely." He talked to me in a calm voice that I knew was supposed to give me reassurance, but instead made me feel like he was patronizing me.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I screeched at him, standing back up and beginning to rip out my clothes in a frantic matter. "Your husband isn't states away when he promised he would be there for this moment!" I screamed at him, sobbing every few words.

"You're right. It's so much easier being here when I know you need me, when you're crying and I can't calm you down, and there is a fuc- a blizzard outside preventing me from getting there on time. Gee, I'm so glad this is the position I'm in." Eric countered. He wasn't angry, but he was frustrated and it shone through his voice.

"Decker! What the hell are you doing?" A voice came from the other end.

"Sorry coach, family thing. Riley, I'll call you back in a few minutes. Call Jake so he can come get you." Eric told me quickly.

"Okay." I whimpered, still crying as I hung up the phone. I very slowly put my clothes on, having to take breaks so that I could take in a deep breath and try to ignore the pain. It took me closer to ten minutes to get my clothes on, just a pair of sweats, and begin to dial Jake's number.

"Hello?" Jake asked into the phone, the sound of soft crying heard in the background. It seemed as if every time I called, one of his children was crying.

"Jake." I croaked out.

"I'm on my way. Don't move, don't go down the stairs, don't do anything. Get in bed and I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up the phone right away, leaving me to do as he told. I climbed into bed, curling up around the baby and beginning to cry softly. I couldn't do this without Eric. I needed him to be here with me, to talk me through this. I couldn't have our son enter the world and not be able to look beside me and not have Eric there. I didn't want our son to grow up and ask about the day he was born, and have to tell him that his dad wasn't there. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, trying to stop the tears. He wasn't going to miss this. He wouldn't because he knows if he does, I'll never forgive him.
***

"Riley." Jake panted from his spot clinging to the doorway. His cheeks were red and bitten by the wind and exertion. My mom was right behind him along with my dad, all three of them taking in the sight of me with swollen eyes and curled up around the baby. My mom hurried across the room, sitting down next to me and softly rubbing my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asked me, brushing my hair away from my face.

"No! I'm in pain, the baby is coming, Eric is stuck in Denver, and I have to do this all by myself." I sobbed, my chest heaving and my words getting lost in the other sounds that escaped my throat.

"Oh honey, it is going to be okay. You need to focus on yourself and the baby, not on Eric."

"How am I not supposed to focus on the father of my child!? He need to be here, mom!" I exclaimed, borderline hysteria as Jake came and sat on the other side of me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his body, softly cooing in my ear.

"Eric is doing everything he can to get here. He called me and said that he isn't taking no for an answer from the airlines. He said he will fly out of Denver the moment they let him."

"What if that is tomorrow!? What if the baby is born in a few hours!? He won't make it." I choked out, tears slipping from the corners of my eyes as I looked at Jake. His soft blue eyes looked down at me with a confident shadow in them.

"He's going to be here Riley." He stated calmly. I studied him for a minute, noticing how positive he was that Eric would make it and I felt my body uncoil, relaxing into his body as he smiled reassuringly at me. "He wouldn't miss this. No snow storm or airport is going to stand in his way. He'll be here." I nodded to Jake, pressing my face into the crook of his neck. "But until then, our job is to get you to the hospital and all cozy in your room for when Eric arrives." He kissed my forehead softly as I nodded before him and my dad helped me up.

On the way to the hospital, I couldn't help but think about the next couple hours and how it would go down. I figured that Eric would try to fly out within the hour, and if they told him no, he would find a way to talk them into letting him on a private plane or something to that affect. I imagined him walking into the hospital with hours to spare and help push me through the contractions. I imagined him giving me sweet kisses while the doctor told me it was time to push. But I was slapped back to reality when I was dilated to seven centimeters and counting, with Eric still in Denver waiting for a flight.

"The meteorologist says that Denver is just about through the worst of it." Kara told me from her seat in the chair next to my bed, watching the weather channel.

I had already had my epidural and was basking in the sweet relief of the drug. I didn't want to feel anything as horrible as what I had been feeling when I was put into my room. The pain was too much for me to handle without Eric here. I had been at the hospital for 6 hours and it was currently 2:30 in the morning. I was exhausted, upset, and ready to break down. Kara and Blake had shown up around 10:30 after Eric called for Kara to go help me out. Maddi was staying with Kara's parents for the night.

"Turn it off. He isn't going to make it." I snapped at her, tears forming in my eyes before the trickled over the edge. The hot droplets slid down my cheeks and made my head pound as I looked over at the machine monitoring my contractions. I wanted them to stop, but I knew if they stopped, baby Decker would come even faster via a c-section.

"Riley, he's going to-" Kara started but I cut her off.

"No, Kara, he isn't going to make it. He is still in Denver and the doctor said that I am dilating too fast to be able to wait for him. So stop telling me that." I hissed out to her." My emotions were frayed and I was taking out my frustration on anyone who was within talking distance.

Kara didn't say anything. She just flipped the TV off and sat back in her chair, looking at my phone. I looked down as well, noticing it vibrating against the table with Eric's name flashing on it. I bit my lip and sighed quietly, grabbing it and picking it up.

"If you're not out of Denver yet, hang up right now." I snapped at him before he even had a chance to speak.

"I just landed, I'm on my way!" He exclaimed into the phone, making my heart begin to pound lighter in my chest. "Hold on, don't have him without me."

"Just get here, please." I whispered to him as he chuckled softly.

"I just went through the scariest flight of my life. I'm feeling lucky." He told me before murmuring an I love you, and hanging up.

"So maybe I was right?" Kara asked me, giving me a large grin as I smiled sheepishly at her.

"I'm sorry! But I'm just stressed to the max and just the thought of having to do this without him makes me want to throw up." I ran my hands over my face and calculating that Eric should be here within twenty minutes. What I didn't know, was that I didn't have twenty minutes.

"Riley, you're fully dilated and pretty close to crowning.." Dr. Barnes told me, making my eyes grow wide.

"I can't push yet." I tried to tell her when her and the nurses began to prep me. "My husband isn't here."

"I know but you need to push."

"But he landed! He's on his way. I can't push. I can't have the baby without him."

"Your son's head is about to crown. We can't risk it." She told me, beginning to scrub her hands down. I closed my eyes, trying to think of something other than how bad the urge was to push. He needed to get here. He needed to tell the taxi driver to get his ass in gear. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands as the doctor got situated between my legs. I bit my lip and looked at the nurse who was trying to get me to put my feet up.

"Just five more minutes. Please." I insisted, shaking my head. Dr. Barnes sighed and looked up at me.

"Riley, we don't have five minutes." She told me, looking down before looking back into my eyes. I gritted my teeth and grasped the handles of the bed, doing everything in my power not to push the baby out.

"I can't. I can't. I told him I would wait. And the baby has to wait too." I gritted out between my teeth, looking at the door before back at the doctor.

"The only thing we can wait for is for your friend who is in the hallway to scrub in and stand next to you. Eric is going to be too late and it could risk both yours and the baby's health if you don't push." She explained to me. I felt tears brimming in my eyes when I realized my relief that Eric was here was celebrated too soon.

"Fine." I snapped, tears tracking down my cheeks. No matter how bad I needed Eric here for this moment, I knew that he would want me to take the baby's health over him being there. I looked up at the ceiling as the nurse walked out to tell Kara to hurry up and scrub in. Tears flowed from the corners of my eyes as I silently cursed Denver, snow, the Denver airport, and whoever else fluttered through my mind.

"Ry! Ry! Baby! I'm here! I made it! I'm here!" Eric yelled as he burst through the door. "Holy shit!" He screeched, eyes as wide as dinner bowls when he looked at my spread legs. "What the hell is that!?" He yelled.

"It's your son's head." Dr. Barnes told him, a slight smile on her face. She shook her head and gestured for Eric to get over to my side.

"Baby." I greeted him with a deep kiss. He smiled against my lips, both of us so happy he had made it that nothing else mattered.

"I made it."

"I would have killed you if you hadn't." I grinned at him before sucking in a quick breath.

"Riley, now." Dr. Barnes told me. "We're going to do this at a ten count interval. When I say push, you need to push as hard as you can until I hit ten. If I say stop, stop. Okay?" She asked me. I nodded that I understood and grasped Eric's strong hand tightly. The feel of his smooth yet callused skin holding my hand made my whole body relax and allow me to find strength in him.

It took two counts of ten before I was told to stop, huffing and puffing and feeling a very uncomfortable pinching through the drug induced numbness. I didn't even want to think of what I could feel if I hadn't had any drugs. Eric whispered softly into my ear as I held back from pushing, gritting my teeth in determination.

"The head is out." The nurse told me, looking down. "He's got a lot of hair!" She laughed as I tried to hold back my excitement and my own laugh, fearing I would push the baby the rest of the way out.

"Ow!" I yelled as the doctor twisted the baby in order to pull his shoulders out.

"One more push." Dr. Barnes told me. I did as was told and before I could even feel the relief of the baby being out, he was placed on top of my chest. My breath was stolen from my chest as I looked down at him, tears of extreme joy streaking down my cheeks. His tiny hands were balled tightly into fists, mouth open as the nurse suctioned out his throat so he could take his first breath. He did so greedily before screeching out a loud cry. Eric, who had cut the umbilical cord, tentatively reached out for him, pressing his finger against our son's closed fist.

"Oh my god." I exclaimed softly, sobbing quietly as I looked up at Eric. Wet tracks trailed down his face as his eyes remained on our son.

"I can't believe I almost missed this." He whispered, emotion making his voice rough and forced. He turned to me, both of us crying as the nurse took him away to measure him and clean him. "I have never, ever, loved you as much as I do right now. Oh my god, Riley, you blow me away." He mused so quietly to me, barely heard over the cries of our son. I reached for his neck, bringing his lips to mine and kissing me with the small amount of energy I had left. I gripped his neck and the side of his face as he carefully held me to his chest.

"I love you, Eric." I cried softly, a large grin on my face.

"I love you too. Both of you." He smiled as the nurse walked over.

"I think he needs a name." She murmured as the baby looked up at me when he was placed in my arms. His large, dark eyes took in my features and then he very slowly and jerkily moved his gaze to Eric. His father gave him a large smile before softly murmuring to him.

"Hey buddy. Do you know me? I think you do." He murmured, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead. The baby reached it's hands up and patted at his face, eyelashes closing as one of Eric's tears slipped off his face and onto the bed behind our son's head.

"What should we name him?" I asked Eric after he pulled away, the baby's eyes opening slowly again, trying to grasp the people around him. He knew our voices, but his eyes were revealing very little to him.

"We liked Jordan?" He asked more than said, eyes not leaving our soon.

"Jordan Thomas Decker." I murmured to both him and the nurse who was waiting to write it down. I spelled it for her and then she told me his weight making me chuckle- 8 pound 11 oz. "He's fat like his dad." I laughed as Eric scowled at me before taking our son gently into his arms. The baby looked lost in his father's thick upper body, surrounded by so much warmth, love, and muscle. The baby slept quietly, falling asleep after he was done being poked at, and laid peacefully in his dad's arms.

"We made a perfect baby." I told Eric as I moved to the side, letting him climb up into the bed and sit beside me. I rested my head against his other shoulder, looking down at our son. At the moment, I didn't care that my hair was a mess, my eyes were having a hard time staying open, or that the nurse was trying to get me to get up and shower. All I cared about was that my family was finally complete.

For now.