Is This Worth Fighting For?

People constantly drift in and out of our lives, some appear and disappear within the day, others stay for a month or two, maybe even a couple of years and then there are those that stay for the majority of our lives.
Those that stay are the ones that will forever be imprinted on our minds, the ones that will always be there for a shoulder to cry on and the ones that are there with every corner that is turned.
They may be our closest friends or family, they may only be loosely linked the odd word exchanged here or there or on the contrary they may be dislikeable or in the rare occasion a true enemy.
All that is certain is that we never know what is round the next corner, we never know who we are going to meet or what impact they will have on our lives and we certainly will never know when our time with them is up and either we or they will have to move on or away.

If only we’d had a few more months together, a few more months and maybe he would have been able to stay with me, maybe he would have pleaded with anyone and anything that took him away, maybe he would have defied all the orders they placed over him. I miss him so much, but I know the chances of me ever seeing him again are oh so minimal, I know I have more chance of travelling to the moon and back before I ever clasp eyes upon his pretty little face again.
He was my torch through those darkened nights, he was the smile that lit up my life, he was the shoulder that I could lean on and he was the ears that I could pour all of my worries and fears out to, not once did he complain, not one single time and what for? Simply for him to be ripped away from me, for my heart to be torn in half and for his the same.
Half my heart belongs to him, forever will it belong to him and just a mere whisper or whimper and he could have the rest of it. Oh how I wish I could give him the rest of it, how I wish I could hear his voice again or see the twinkles and sparkles within his eyes when laughter escaped from him or when the most precious of smiles graced his lips.
Those smiles, those laughs they haunt me, they taunt me and they tease me, they make me beg absolutely nothing for just one more chance to be near him, to be with him or simply just to have any form of contact with him. No one has ever impacted my life as much as he has, no one has ever been imprinted upon my mind like him, no one ever had and no one ever will, he’s the only one in the whole world that is worth every second of every day, who is worth every millisecond of my devotion, of everyone’s devotion, but never will he get what he deserves.
Miss. It’s such a terrible word to describe what it’s meant to be, it makes everything sound so insignificant, like one simple, measly mistake that can be fixed within the second. Nothing like this can ever be fixed within the second; it can’t be fixed within the minute, the hour, the day, the month, the year or eternity. It’ll forever remain broken, broken and lost, but never forgotten.
My one and only, the person that no one will ever replace, that no one will ever match up to, the one that has left me as just half a person, a shell of my former self and at times even just a hollow body with nothing to give and no will to continue.
I’m hanging on for you, for that one chance that we’ll meet again, for the one chance that you will never forget me and for the one chance that I won’t just be regarded as another measly being in your life and that I’ll have a special position if only for the next month or so.

Lee. I’ll forever be awaiting your return, forever be missing you and forever be longing that you were here by my side every second.