Front Porch Story

Billie and I had been split up for a good month. I was taking the boys to Billie's for the weekend.
"Mommy, is Dad going to come home?" Joey asks on the car ride, "I don't like this."
"I know baby, I don't like this either." I sigh, "But I don't want us to be fighting all the time."

I get Jakob out of his car seat and the three of us take the elevator up to the right floor. Joey runs ahead to the right door and waits for me and Jakob. I knock on the door and we wait patiently.
"Adrienne what are you doing here?" An obviously hung over Billie Joe asks. His hair is a mess, he's not wearing a shirt and he smells like beer and cigarettes. I glance inside to see Mike passed out on the couch and the place was covered in beer bottles and other garbage.
"I'm going to take the boys to my sister's," I say sternly, "Take a goddamn shower, I'll be back in ten minutes so we can talk about this." I grab Joey's hand, adjust Jakob on my hip and walk towards the elevator.

"What's wrong with Dad?" Joey asks as we walk down the street, Tanya's building was only a block away.
"He drank too much beer so he got sick."
"I'm never going to drink beer then," Joey states.
"Good for you," I say optimistically, "Because when you get beer sick you also do dumb stuff, like start fights and act like an idiot." He nods as we continue to walk briskly down the street.

We get to Tanya's building and I knock on her door.
"Adie, what are you doing here," She says as she adjusts Christina on her hip.
"Jay-jay!" The toddler squeals at the sight of Jakob.
"Umm Billie is . . . I'll tell you later, can you watch the boys for a half an hour or so?"
"Yeah sure," She says as I stand Jakob on the floor.
"Thanks." I walk back to Billie's apartment rather quickly.

I let myself into his apartment and hear the shower coming from the far end of the apartment. I see Mike is still passed out on the couch. I go up to him and shake him awake.
"Mike, Mike, get up," I say, somewhat pissed.
"Huh, huh?" He asks as he comes to, "Adie, what are you doing here?"
"Could ask you the same thing," I say crossing my arms as he sits up.
"I came over yesterday and had a few drinks."
"Well, I'm here to have a talk with Billie," I say as Mike pulls on his left shoe, "Alone."
"Alright, I'm going," He says scratching his head, "Do you know where my other shoe is?" I glance around the room to see the shoe under the kitchen table. I go over and retrieve it for him.
"Here."
"Thanks," He mumbles as he puts it on. He heads out of the apartment just as Billie comes out of the washroom, looking somewhat improved.

"You knew I was coming with the boys today, how could you just get drunk like that?" I ask pissed, but not yelling.
"I was depressed, I've been fucking depressed without you," He says looking me in the eye.
"I can't," I whisper as I hold back tears.
"I'm sorry," Billie whispers.
"Sorry, doesn't change things," I say quietly as I start picking up the beer bottles.

"Adie don't," Billie sighs as he starts picking up the bottles and other garbage, "It's my apartment, my shit."
"Yeah well our sons are dying to see you," I mumble as I take the random trash and put it in the garbage can.
"They're at Tanya's?"
"Yeah," I say running a hand through my hair. I go over to the window and open it to get the smell of cigarettes out. "I thought you only smoked outside."
"I usually do," Billie sighs, "Just yesterday was-well, a shit day."

I feel a couple of tears rolls down my cheek as we finish cleaning up the apartment.
"Adie, don't cry."
"I'm not crying," I lie.
"Then how come your mascara is running," He asks coming up to me and wiping away a few tears with his thumb.
"I'll go get the boys now," I say pulling away and heading over to the door.
"No, I'll go get them," Billie says scratching the back of his neck.

I go straight out to my car and cry my eyes out before driving back home.