Velvet Stars.

It was happening again. Words as sharp as knifes were chasing through the air, right in front of my tight eyes. The sweat that trickled down my forehead had nothing to do with the rare rays of sun warming the cold atmosphere.
Katie stood, hands on hips, glaring at Milly for reasons i was unaware of. Sucking in air, I tried discreetly edging away from my sun spot on the little wall nestled beside the path way, to escape the scene that had landed in front of me.
Milly obvious shared my thought and tried to dodge round Katie, her dirty blond curls shimmering in the light that could have been pleasant some where else. It wasn't a wide path and her movements pinned me back down to my seat.
“Where you going BrandTIT?” Katie shoved her back and a slight smirk painted her face as her friends chorused in laughter. Admiration. It made me sick. I shivered again and tried to arrange my thoughts to understand why little situations like this disturbed me so much more than your average teenager. It wasn't the bullying that chilled me, it was the fact I was sitting in the middle of it all watching like it was a blockbuster film. I hadn't chosen to sit myself there, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time – as usual. I wonder if these accidents wouldn't ever work out in my favor...
Milly was trying to stop tears brim over as the group of girls behind Kate started to join in.
“Ahhh, is Millie willy upset because mummy isn't there to tuck her in at night?”
I wanted to shout and scream at how unfair it was.
My Dad didn't die like Milly's mum (from cancer), but I know how it feels to loose a parent because I pretty much lost my mum over the years and now presume dad is dead. There are so many secrets about him, but have no idea how to find them out... secrets I need to know, secrets that lead to destiny's. Or how to get out of this mess. Screaming and shouting simply wouldn't get me any where. I was always the one to sit and watch the play. So instead I sat and concentrated on my breathing, trying simmer the anger bubbling inside me.
My mum used to take me to plays. Beautiful plays that formed a tapestry of colours and patterns in my mind. I remember Beauty and the Beast. The singing voices rang out brushing my consciousness and imprinting my soul like a flower touched by spring. I remember the velvet red curtains. When I was very young I loved to dream that I would live in a huge house with four poster beds and winding stair cases, but most of all I wanted huge crimson velvet curtains draped every where, “Just like the ones in the play!” I used too tell mum at night, bouncing up and now on my bed.
At the time I was five or six or something. I only know now that the reason we went to so many plays was so I wouldn't question why dad was never home, maybe mum didn't want to ask the question herself – all she knew was that his job was dangerous. I only now know that she afforded them with dads money not hers.
And on that magical night when I peered out the silver frosted glass at the huge glimmering moon embedded in the velvet sky (if only the sky was red, I had thought, then we would have a huge red velvet curtain protecting and lighting up the whole world), was the night I sighed and told my self what a wonderful place the world was. I loved my red bricked house, and the food that god lay on my plate.
We used to live by this forest. One of those forest's with the high lean, leafless trees that were tinged blue in the light with dark musty ground and climbing moss and vines. Very mystical. And I loved to look out into it from my window.
But that very night, the night I felt so blissful and filled with bubbles of happiness, I started to hear it. The shouting. My mum was worried. It was so obvious, like ice cracking through the air.
It was always about his job, but it sounded to me as if she wasn't even sure what he did do and this, despite my young age, would make my blood cold. What was so dreadful about his job that he wouldn't tell us about? The augment started when he came home with a deep, purple, injury slashed into his flesh. They had decided to speak about it after I had gone to bed so I couldn't hear... and it had spiraled from there. Every single night.
I snapped back into reality and tried to stop my mind drifting else where so I wouldn't have to cope with all of this.
Mrs Wicket was storming toward the little scene as the mummy remarks started to turn some what nasty and dirty and had broken Millie who was yelling back. Her eyes were blazing.
“Millie wants her Mummy, Millie wants her Mummy.” the group of stupid girls were chanting after a M.I.L.F joke. I actually couldn't believe how immature they were being.
It seemed the more Kate hurt her the more she was bind into saying more things.
Every one froze like a freeze frame, like a photo graph holding dark secrets and reality.
“What on earth is going on here?” she spat, eye balling Kate, then me.
I felt like walking off, like melting into the ground. I wished a balloon would appear and I would grab the end and float off away from every worry and fear.
What ever.
This, some how, would not happen.
Mrs Wicket smoothed her already flat hair down as if she wasn't quite sure what to do with her hands,
“you two,” she indicated to me and Katie, “if you would please follow me.”
The other girls had scampered.
Well what was the worse that could happen? I thought as we followed behind her, with our heads down, I've been expelled before haven't I? So why are you so bloody shaky!?
But I think it was because I felt like I have never progressed in life. I'm never in the action – how ever much I lounge on the sofa watching endless bond films. How ever much I suspect and pry. I always watch! Never act. But it wasn't a matter to be pressed at the moment.
Hell? Why was I talking to myself? First sign of madness. I sighed, maybe I was mad for getting myself so worked up. We had walked into the shadow of the building where it was cooler and damp.
I felt the change of texture under my pumps and realised we were inside on the carpet. My head snapped up, we were in the hall already? Wow time goes faster when you want everything to slow down. She walked up to a wide blue door and she checked her gold watch hastily.
“Wait here!” She commanded us as she tapped on the door, then rapped a bit harder.
“Come in.” a deep almost bubbly voice replied. She pushed the door open, closing it softly behind her. I glanced up at Katie who had that same smirk on her face.
“Gutted.” she said to me, still grinning. I frowned. “What?”
“Well you 'ain't do nufin did ya?” Her eyes brightened as she said it. “Like I said, gutted.”
How can she be not be flinched about hurting another person? I wasn't expelled for bullying. No where near. Ugh, it made me sick. And when she spoke it was as if her mouth was full of saliva, it was thick and slow and the words that came out her mouth pretty much disgusted me. Ugly.
The door opened, as Mrs Wicket shuffled out, “in,” she snapped and closed the door behind us to a bleak room smelling strongly of cleaning products. She walked over to the back of the room eyeing us and folding her arms across her chest.
In the middle of the room was a desk, a paper bin, a bleak fake plant, faded blue desk chair, and a rather angry looking fat man. Oops sorry, head teacher.
“Mrs wicket has explained everything and expressed her views. And I am deeply ashamed. Did you know, Emma, that watching bullying as bad as this, without doing any hoo about it, is just as bad as being the bully your self? It shows lack of courage.” I had a strange desire to coo at him then, he used words he would use if he was talking to a baby. And he had it wrong, I did not lack courage.
“And you, Katie, I am appalled any one could be so harsh in this school.” as he rambled on my distraction was drawn to Mrs Wicket dialing the phone and murmuring to who ever was at the end of the line.
“Blah blah blah blah We are calling your parents- blah blah blah”
“WHAT!” I cried, and his bulging eyes flickered to me. “I beg your pardon.” he spat at the exact moment his phone went off. He had a crappy ring tone that made Katie giggle like a little girl watching Noddy.
“I'll deal with you in a minute – I have to take this.” he growled, going slightly red at the amusement of his ring tone.
As he flipped his phone open he span his office chair round so its back was too us. I couldn't care less what he was saying. They were calling our parents, because of THAT? I glanced at Katie who seemed a little shocked too despite her couldn't-give-a-toss attitude, it took her slightly longer to process information then turn it into emotion.
He flipped his phone down and turned back to us.
“Where were we?” he muttered as he searched through his draws for something - I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled out the cane. Instead he drew out two detention slips and a ruby red pen.
“Two weeks worth of detentions, in school, and after school.” I saw Katie knuckles whiten as she gripped the chair. It was only four detentions together but it still made me flag back, defeated and utterly pissed, in the hard metal of the chair.
“But sir?” Katie desperately tried to plead and I was glad to see she did have a weak side, even if she chose to never show it. “Isn't that- can't we- do we have to?”
“Punishment is punishment young Katie, in my days you would have the cane right now.”
I knew it had crossed his mind. “Your parents will arrive shortly so I can speak with them. Joking about the dead in such such a disgusting manner is NOT some thing we can tolerate here.” the silence that followed was only broken by the occasional clicking and grating of his file draws.
I watched the hands tick on the clock – unusually slow. Like some one had filled it with a thick liquid as it struggled to slug round.
Maybe to make the wait in the office more painful, gods way of punishing me. The only thing that broke the painful silence was the loud munching of Mr Threadem making his way through his snacks. I played with my long auburn hair. I twiddled my thumbs. I blinked furiously for 30 seconds then closed my eyes for my own mini light show. I saw how long I could go with out thinking of penguins. I silently spat on the carpet too see how long it took till it disappeared.
The door opened, and two Mothers came in, escorted by Mrs Lucy the receptionist, with two very different faces. Katie's mum looked more angry but almost pleading at Mr Threadem for some reason. But as my mums eyes swept over the room to find me – she was seething with disappointment, but also had her usual weary tiredness. We had made a deal I wouldn't get in trouble again.
“Ah, thank you for coming.” addressed Mr Threadem, who gestured to the remaining two seats.
Then he spent a entire 15 minutes talking, often repeating statements he must of thought made him look very official – when they really didn't. They just made him look like an old man who ran a small boring school with too much time on his hands. The only thing I noticed was a little bit of frothy dribble rolling from the corner of his mouth, and his very pink tongue occasionally popping in and out like a fat worm.
After that we were dismissed from the office, trailing after our mothers in silence.
Katie and her mum climbed into the car, but we didn't have one so we caught the bus home.
On the bus several people stared at me, as I was supposed to be at school, but most people couldn't care less. You wanna know who are like you on a bus, who would under stand you?
At the front of the bus are all the old people who can't be bothered to walk to the back, the 2/4 of the way up are the mothers and there children plus tourists – if there ever are any.
3/4 of the way up are the people on their way, or on their way back, to work in sub way or mac Donald's. Or the loners, or those people who just sit on the bus all day listening to music. You get the occasional school kid here as well.
The at the very back are the groups who don't like to be seen. They keep them self to them selves. Up to no good, you could say. Or just people like me, the ones who want some where to stick there chewing gum and just day dream., who don't like to be noticed and don't trust no one. Also groups sit here. But I was with my mum, so we sat more toward the front today.
The above don't apply to all buses, just where we live, you know. Little towns no one herd of before. No business men or nothing. I reckon this is the type of place you would wanna come if you were trying to hide.
I'm good at logic, working things out. I had completed the man's riddle he was trying to work out for his kids, out of a little activity book, already. He was sitting in front. I had a clear view over the shoulder of his cheap rain mac.
“Off, here.” my mum said with no expression, she sounded old although she often acted younger and I followed her off the bus along the sodden wet grass. Pass the graffiti and litter. It must of rained earlier, I thought as I looked across at the oily puddles that threw grim rainbows in the dim light. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds, that were now rolling in, along with my mood.
The air got eerie - the sky darkened and the wind got roughly bitter, as mum lead me into our tiny council house.
She got to work, putting the kettle on for pot noodles. I sat and waited, but all she did was stare at the steam erupting from the kettle in a brain dead fashion.
“Aren't you cross?” I whispered, scared to make a sound in the dullness of it all.
“I don't know what to do with you.” she replied bluntly.
“You know I don't choose to get my self into things like this. It wasn't my fault I got expelled.”
“Hello? You knocked half a wall down and destroyed the piping.”
“There was something living in there, and it wasn't no mice, some one was hiding a creation in there – a monster!”
“HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW! Look, I know you think your some great detective, but just because the new girl had black eyes, just because of all the suspicions, you have to stop dreaming, making things up. Stop talking bull crap! Grow up! We're in reality here, when will you realise it? Monsters don't exist.”
“I was searching for what I believed. And they aren't monsters, they're creations.” she snorted.
“What, like Frankenstein? NO, you were searching for something you made up. And now, here you are in trouble AGAIN!”
I ran upstairs in raged making sure I was particularly heavy footed.
“Where are you going!” she yelled up the stairs.
Running away was something I had considered a lot, but I never really plucked up the courage to do it.
I never thought about it this long though. I sat on my bed for hours. The past of my life – including the disappearance of my farther, whirled through my mind like a marble of night mares, too vibrant for my liking. They merged and filled me with a black cloud and I started to drown in my own agony.
A little girl in a peach pink dress with a huge house. The gentle knock on the door, mums head flipped up from where she was sat with several phone numbers and he mobile, with long curled hair and plenty of curves. A different person to the tiny mouse woman with her blond hair clipped so short she was almost like a pixie. Dad, dad. I herd my self scream.
He had been so late, maybe he bought me some cookies or a little china dog to add to my collection? I ran to the door first and swung it open to revile two men dress in blue and black. They looked up from there note pads and clip boards.
I waited that night, when I was only five or six, out side the door my mother sat with the men in blue. However hard I pressed my ear onto the cold door, I only herd snippets that made no sense when I tried to string them together.
“Its to do with his Job I knew it...”
“What happ...”
“No one can be....”
“wish you the....”
“'port with new info...” I strained so hard to hear those muffled voices.
What seemed like years later the door opened, making me topple in the room. The police men left silently, patting me on the head lightly without one glance down at my huge questioning eyes, and I crawled into the room to find my mother in tears. Her eyes daunted my mind now. Puffy and blood shot and swimming in tears. She swayed a little on her chair and she tried to concentrate on me.
“Its your farther,” she whispered pain painstakingly in the dark, empty room, her words ringing out like a distant sound it a hell binding night mare. “He's missing.”
Even at six it is possible to under go such strong emotion, it felt like some one had ripped the inside of me out, I could feel fingers scraping round desperately at every corners, even snatching the breath from my lungs.
As the years went by so did the money dad had brought in. So did the house and the furniture, the dogs and the cats. The acres of lush emerald land and the peacocks. We rented a flat, then moved into the council house when I was 12 and everything was gone, I got expelled when I was 13. I think lack of all the money we had was maybe mums drug addiction. OK, it was mums drug addiction. But she's off now, just the booze. It numbs the pain.
It wasn't until I woke up I realised I had fallen asleep.
I checked my watch with weary eyes, it was elven, and I had decided. I had waited this long, just too see if the only reason I had wanted to run away was because I was cross at the time. I was completely calm now, in fact my fingers were spread out on my knees and I wasn't vibrating in fury, my breathing was light and shallow, normal, and the future for me was clear in a way but still as blurred as ever. I wanted to prove all those people who every doubted me on my courage, that I do have the heart of a lion.
I shoved everything I would need in my back pack. I didn't have shelter, but I had been taught in school how to make a shelter in the wild before. Not that I paid any attention. But I'm sure I would be able to do it. It seemed simple enough. And I don't think I was heading for 'the wild' any way like a little boys fantasy. This was so close to London! Full of freedom and possibilities.
I ran back down stairs with the back pack, and spun round to my mum, who was still up, cross legged on the floor, swirling the pot noodle, looking rather depressed.
“I'm going to the park to cool down.” I lied sounding perfectly believable and without looking at me she handed me the cold pot noodle.
“Thanks.” I said bleakly. She was in some other world right now.
As I stepped out into the open the cold air stung my lungs and made my thoughts painfully fuzzy for a moment. I made my way down the garden path to our small lop-side gate, and crossed over the road. As I tracked across the field in my bare feet as I spooned the noodles into my dry mouth absent mindedly, not realising how hungry I was.
I walked through the gap in the fence surrounding the swings, where some idiots had broken it.
Sometimes I think in odd way. For some reason, the night was aromatic – to me. Everything around me created flavours on my tongue, pictures in my mind, and strong smells in my my nose.
The night was a story of peace and mystery but I sensed security and secret. As I sat on the swing, it started to rain. Hard. I let the drops soak into my clothes. I tipped my head up too the sky and let it wash over my pink petal face.
I could of laughed then. But I just smiled. I felt free. Like I didn't belong to any thing or any one. No school, no people. The world was my oyster.
I leaned my head against the cold chain and shivered, as I pushed back and forth with my muddy toes.
I heard something move behind me, and I instantly knew it wasn't any small animal, my head span round to the mass of bushes. Ever get that feeling your being watched?
Silence fell for a minute, as I was frozen on the spot.
Then voices, louder and louder from the opposite direction. Foot steps pounding in the wet mud. They were the beat of one hundred drums hacking at my ear drums. And the before I could prepare my self, there were lights. Lights so bright I couldn't see anything and had to squeeze my eye lids shut to stop the burning white blinding my vision. I had been so used to the darkness, the bruised purple of the night my eyes did not adjust. Then there was shouting. Bodies moving closer and closer, over whelming. I tipped off the back of my swing so I landed in the mud with a hard smack. The roughness splattered on my dumb struck face and all fell silent.
“I don't think its her Jimmy.”
“Yeah.” another voice, “I thought you said it was a boy, older than her in fact.”
Who ever this Jimmy was he chose to ignore it.
“Why are you out at this time.” Questioning me now. I sat up and squinted through my eyes wiping the mud off with the back of my hand. There was only six people, Jimmy being the one at the front.
The words were thick in my throat, as if I forgotten the knack of speaking and my throat constricted.
I opened my mouth again, and opened my eyes fully, the lights weren't so bad now. Wow these people looked serious.
Guns. Pointing right at me.
“What's with the guns?” my voice sounding braver then I felt. He smirked and slid it into his pocket, holding his hands up innocently.
“There, see? Now speak.” he was softer, more gentle now. I could tell these people were good.
“I don't under stand.” I trembled to my self. I loved the atmosphere. The tensed. The adrenalin, excitement the...fear. Something different! Something exciting!
“What?” The girl to Jimmy's left had lowered her gun slightly, “what don't you under stand?” my head flicked up.
“So easily distracted...” a voice laughed from the bush.
Jimmy swore.
The action was immediate. They were in the bushes, firing, trying to catch who they were after. The gun shots echoed through the park. A horrible gut wrenching noise that brings only the smell of the wounded.
Jimmy came charging out the bushes looking panicked.
“Has he come out.” he said to me.
“w- wha- what.”
“HAS HE COME OUT!” He yelled making me jump, eyeing the park madly.
“No.” I answered.
“You sure?”
“Yes I'm bloody sure!” I cried, why wouldn't I be? I noticed blood trickling from the side of his face where the bush must of scratched him.
And then there he was, like he had appeared from thin air, an ordinary boy, with pitch black eyes that even filled the white that was supposed to be there, just like the girl who was working on the project only I found out about, at my old school. He seemed disturbed. Not quite human. He laughed, as Jimmy, who had raised his gun about to fire at him, was distracted by some things appearing from round the corner.
“I've herd about your little organisation. But I have armoured these ones, your never work out there weak point fools. Then with you dead I can make bigger and better things and fulfil my duties with out worrying about you bastards getting in my way.” he voice cracked through the park, clipped and sharp.
When Jimmy looked back, the man was gone.
“Crap.” he whispered. His eyes wide on the shadows blooming from the corner.
“GUYS I NEED YOU OUT HERE NOW.”
As the first of the creature started to file into the open space of the park I thought I was going to be sick. It made my insides quiver and my stomach curl. I never believe in stuff I haven't seen before. Ghosts, witches, wizards, vampires, were wolves, zombies the lot. So how was I supposed to believe in the grotesque monsters that made me want to look away but some how I couldn't. I didn't open my mouth to release the scream that had been building up inside me due to the fact I may have been sick.
The things were human shaped, but moved half like zombies and half like wolfs, there backs curled over.
They were the shape of a classic voodoo doll, not males or females, but more skeletal. The thing that was disturbing was the fact they were covered in scales, scales stretched across there bodies, binding them so closely. There heads were bald, with just scales sinking into empty eye sockets, like a skull.
Although they had no mouth they were screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Blood curdling screams that wasn't out loud but almost physic, like they were sending the screaming to our minds, and it electrified my nerves in pain. Screams that made the very depth of my soul cringe. Jimmy and his gang were way in front of me. the closer to them you are, the louder the screams.
The screams were sagging their knees and messing with there concentration. Jimmy, the closest, dropped to his knees, his eyes rolled back into his skull as he slumped to the ground like a rag doll. Then , with his mouth shut tight he was screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Everything was spinning.
I watched each of them slump to there knees and rag like dolls before me as the creatures waltzed closer and closer and the screaming rattled in their heads. One by one. Like flies. I was watching again. Doing nothing, as these people dropped before, what ever these things were doing.
The closest to me, a boy only a few years older than me, had his arm thrown out as he collapsed. His gun in his hand. I grabbed it just as I felt the screaming blacken and fill me like billowing smoke. Suddenly my legs were led but my knees jelly, but I knew what was happening. I had seen it before me.
I turned and started to move away. I didn't stand fighting like the rest of them because I knew what I had to do.
As I moved quicker than the creature the black emptied out my mouth in one gush of a scream. I took the gun and fired. It was doing nothing. Bouncing off their ribcage chests.
Think, Em , THINK!
Wait, if I wasn't here they probably would of stopped and killed the others by now, they had only disabled them to make it easier to kill. I was a bait, dragging them away. And I noticed, as the last one out of them walked past Jimmy, Jimmy suddenly regained life, he sucked up a lung full of air, and came back to earth. The screaming smoke was in front of them, not behind, they couldn't project in into minds behind them. I ran round in a huge circle to avoid the invisible smoke so I was stationed behind them before they could under stand what I was doing.
I was not going to watch them kill. I was not going to stand by, and be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I make it the wrong place. This could be the right place for me. The place where I am meant to be here.
Jimmy saw my plan and ran with me.
“Get lost kid, its to dangerous.”
I swore at him, and we both ran at them from behind.
“The eyes sockets look like the weakest place!” I cried, and he scowled at me, I pounced at the nearest from behind, bringing it down, and dug my fingers into its eyes, its hideous claw like fingers ripped into my arm, into a main archery, as it tried to push me off, and I felt the heat of the blood flow down my arm, I was to numb to feel the pain right now.
I shoved my fingers harder with the last of my efforts as I broke through the only the place the skin wasn't wrapped round a solid. The creature fell to its knees and its head lolled up to the sky, a black liquid gas gushed from its eyes as it fell to its knees and collapsed. I fell with it, the rain washing the blood from my arm so it trickled crimson down the concrete path. My mind blanked.
What had just happened? And then it was white, apart from the burning in my arm, it was a stunning heavenly white.