Velvet Stars.
Chapter fourteen. Secrets. Emma.
They had gone out. Again! To hunt me down. And guess what those thick fools don't know? Merging into the night, I'm crouched on the window ledge staring at Rosalind's back.
She was unimaginably, unmistakably different to a normal human. But something told me that she knew she had a secret but she wasn't all that sure about it, it made my mind whirl with anticipation.
She was sitting at the table, chewing on a pen and staring at a book, fiddling constantly with her blinding hair which was unfortunately pulled into a bunch today. I wanted to slide in and ask the questions that were clogging my thoughts, but I somehow don't think that's secretly spying on some one.
And any way – I needed to see what she was like on her own.
Rosalind.
It was bizarre feeling. Most of my life I was surrounded by the constant annoyance of my farther, and then the others my private tutors. And I find myself sitting here nearly every night telling my farther I'm doing research when really I can't stand to be at home. And sometimes I found myself pretending it was my own, so I would know the feeling of reliability of having a place to call yours..
But as I had turned 16 I have noticed things changing. I walked over to the mirror and peered into the mirror. I had always looked young for my age, but my eyes were so much brighter? Diamond bright, they reflected off the mirror and hit me back in the face with there beauty. I wasn't beautiful, just impishly pretty. But my eyes told a different story. Before I turned 16 they were flat like any other persons eyes. Now they had a mysterious silver swimming round in there purple glaze, but also seemed as deep as the sea, so many thoughts and wonders swirling In them. So deep and meaningful and amazing.
Any way, enough of being vein. It wasn't just my eyes. It felt like I was needed. Some where. Like some one was calling me through the frail whispers of the wind, there were fingers pulling at my hands and I wanted to follow them so bad. But I had to keep my feet firmly rooted (painstakingly), to the ground and stay strong.
It was also actions of every day life.
I reach out to pick something up and it seems to jump into my fingers before I have a chance to. Silly I know. I'm probably just acting up with boredom and worry. Not a good mixture. But I thought I'd try it any way.
So I placed a salt and pepper shaker on the table that stood in front of one of the crappy non-double glazed windows, and stood at the other end feeling light headed and stupid. I held my hand out and leaned forward to pick it up, clearly stating the ambition in my mind. And it was like an invisible person was handing me every thing my mind was ordering. It slid along the table like a swan to water, directly into my hand, lifting a little before it touched my skin. It was like my whole world collapsed and a new one reformed.
I can not explain the thrill that exploded inside me like a hundred fireworks at that moment. It span through my nerves, twisting them together, and sending an electric jolt through my body of pure glee. And I found my self closing my eyes and letting everything pile onto me. The possibility. The sounds, sights, smells, feelings the taste of my new found knowledge on my tongue. And then my eyes snapped open. I was being stupid. A silly little girl mixed in a fairy tale and I hated myself instantly for getting so worked up over it.
There was, must be, a perfect explanation for the happenings of just now, it was just, just I couldn't think of it. I found my self pulling myself up on the table and resting my head in my hands. I wish there was someone there to tell my worries to. I was drowning in myself. It was like being locked inside a cage that was being rattled by the only person most people would tell, only you can't. Dad. I was scared of him. Or I used to be. I didn't feel scared any more. I felt... fearless in a way, but sick with worry. My hormones were messing me around I should think. Like something is changing inside of me.
But then at the same time I felt this feeling of eyes on my back. Something staring. I spun round to see nothing but the night pressing against the window pains so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
There was the life vibrating around me. Then there was the air and the feeble life of the plants in the corner, the dead life of paper in a book. So I ventured outside. Into the night and pass the window frame which is where I felt it. The white feathers splattered with blood, the beautiful vibes of passion and wars that built up inside. I found myself predicting thoughts from listening to the space out side, should I be this monster? Who am I? How much worse am I to become?
The thoughts of a girl who once went to school, who had teenage arguments with her mum. Who dreamed of loosing virginity and winced as her friends started smoking. Who once sat and watch kids channels in front of the TV. And now she looked in the mirror and saw an alien. She hated it. Loved her new family and life. Hated herself, and it was an constant war that stabbed her with so much grief I could feel it and it hurt. She was trying so hard to cling onto her humanity.
But that wasn't the point. The point was I had only sensed this type of life (living dead), once before, and that was when a vampire was lying on the bed in the room next to us.
Still fearless, but cloaked with worry, I ran over to the window and yanked it open. It was that second I felt the white feathers and blood disappear but could sense it hiding some where near by.
“COME OUT ,YOU COWARD OF THE NIGHT! STOP SPYING ON ME! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?” I yelled into the darkness before me. It rang out and I waited taking heavy breaths. No reply so without thinking twice I put my hand in front of me and yelled,
“let the light show you to me!” a throbbing white light shot from the palm of my hand like a spot light and fell upon a space where I saw a flick of disappearing chestnut hair as a certain vampire fled into the night. I was angry now as the light flickered and dimmed. Very angry. I felt like I could set the whole building on fire and I just wanted to rip things and...
So what. So what if some low life vampire want to watch me. The other side of me thought. The angel perched on my shoulder. Let her. Won't bother me. I will sit here and take a chill pill.
Then the devil contending on my other shoulder told me to kill her.
But as I sat down and looked through my book with fumbling fingers, I couldn't control how much I was shaking and how sick I felt, I dashed to the toilette just in time. And suddenly I didn't want to be alone. I at least wanted my dad shouting in my ear. To keep my distracted from the fact I would be reminiscing al night about the things I managed to do and the fact vampires are on my heels spying at me.
I hated my life. Hated it. Jeez. How much do need to emphasis.
Close. But she made it to easy. If my heart was still beating it would have been thundering against my ribs, full throttle, right now.
She had yelled into the night that she was going to cast a light on me so it gave me time tor run.
And she was luckily that the window only gazed out upon a concrete area and fence that blocked off a little woodland area – other wise other people would of seen what was making my skin crawl. She had powers. I don't think she understood fully yet, but neither did I. At all. But I didn't want to tell the others about it. There was something personal there. Like she needed to discover them on her own.
I arrived at the HQ but was still shaken so I hitched myself up on the wall and put my head in my hands, I seemed to do this a lot now a days.
“1, 2, 3,” I muttered as I tried to control my breathing. “In and out, in and out...” I looked up at the starry sky to stretch my neck.
My life had way to much going on. It was like a play with two scenes going on at once.
And then at the same time, I had the mind blowing task of trying to control the monster surging inside me. I was clinging desperately onto the Emma but could slowly feeling the monsters vines sprawling out inside me and dragging me into myself. I would always be Emma inside but I wanted people to see that on the outside two! I saw fear in the eyes of people I love when they look at me, and god knows the images that flash through their feeble minds. And I can't help it. It was like me against the whole world. But maybe if I lost Emma it wasn't that I would just become an animal to kill. Maybe I would just going to change into some one else, like Enchantra.
So what was I to do? Help the pixie like girl bring her inner self out as she was locked in her false smile by her farther, or keep my inner self from escaping and tearing apart everything that had ever happened to me?
And then there was the guilt. The guilt that I know Enchantra once was a free vampire who could be completely who she truly was. And now, with tight eyes, was forced to live around humans and contain herself purely because she's scared. Scared to be alone, and she's here for me as much I am for her. I had saved her when she was doing the vampires idea of committing suicide and there had been an instant but guarded connection. And I was the only thing like her left for miles and miles due to the slayers, or so I thought.
All we had was each other and we had to keep a hold of our more humane sides if we didn't want to risk getting caught. Not that its helped much.
“Enchantra...” I whispered into the wind.
She was by my side in a second.
“Your worried.” she stated. I nodded.
“You can tell me.” suddenly I spilled my guts like I hadn't intended to.
“She has powers! But not weak powers. Powers with so much possibilities in it! Amazing powers with so much strength! But I have a feeling they've only started to reach her. Like now she's 16 she gains them. I don't think she fully understands yet. And I don't know what her farther will do to her if he finds out. He killed her mother! Its like he's scared to be over ruled. And, and I'm not sure what to focus on more. Me? Or her.” Enchantra stayed her same calm, expressionless face but I could see she was thinking deeply in her eyes. Then she sucked in breath.
“What ever feels right.” she said softly, looking into the night over my shoulder. I honestly didn't know. “I wish there was a vampire sense when we know what's right...” Enchantra trailed off.
“Yeah, ooo it must me right because my fangs are tingling.” I smirked sarcastically. She gave me a half hearted smile back.
“Hey Emma. Where'd you go?” Lizzie walked briskly into the side yard. I shrugged casually.
“Just to watch that girl for a while.”
“Oh yeah? Anything interesting.” I hopped of the wall and shook my head.
“No.” I replied bluntly. She didn't seem disappointed as she walked over to the dustbin and dumped the dustbin bag she had in her other hand inside it.
Dropping the lid, which was a caramel gold from rust, back down, she shrugged back,
“that's a shame. You girls had a nice night.” Enchantra flashed me a confused look as she said this. After Lizzie was out of ear shot Enchantra turned on me and I braced my self, but instead she surprised me a little by using her same, beautiful voice that was always etched with a sleepy sadness.
“Why didn't you tell her?” I turned to look directly at the wall.
“I don't know.” I answered her with as much truth as possible. She didn't press.
“I only realised after you left, that we weren't allowed out. It was very risky.” I decided not to tell her about the fact I was nearly caught then.
“I know. That should be the last time I have to take those risks.”
She nodded and then said in a slightly perkier voice, “come on in then. Jimmy's a lot better.” I smiled at those round eyes and followed her silk flowing hair into the HQ. Jimmy was sitting, like ever, on the sofa reading the paper as the two boys resumed watching their film. Looking over there shoulder in unison they both gave a gentle smile (well Adams was close to cocky, but it was still nice), and a small wave. It made me laugh inside but I didn't seem to laugh out loud as much now a days, the thought squeezed me until I felt physically sick, like a bower constricter.
Jimmy's head flicked up at our silent approach.
“Hey? Why do you look so sick?” he asked me. I glanced away with a little tear in my eye as I knew Emma was leaving me, then looked back at him with cold eyes.
“You scared me.” he looked concerned for a second then grinned ear to ear.
“Scared? About me? Kid that's not right.”
“Oh but it is.” I interjected him, not sure why I felt cross. Enchantra was keeping her distance from all of us as she normally did.
He looked up at me wistfully and said very simply,
“I'm fine.” he shook his head.
“Get a little sleep tonight please Emma. And then see Matt. He should come about tomorrow because we can start to take him off some of the painkillers. Its not so bad.”
“What damage was done?” I herd myself saying. I herd Emma saying as her heart throbbed with love and grief. Jimmy sighed as if talking about it was painful,
“as the table leg came one of the legs flicked back ripping through his face and the contents on the top smashed so large shards of glass entered his flesh. But they weren't that bad, what's bad is the glass that gut his eye. He's had stitched of course...” Jimmy smiled at Lizzie who saluted him as she walked through, arms loaded with what looked like a knew set of books.
“He'll be okay though.” I winced. Some how, even if he wasn't going to be, I needed insurance to keep calm.
“Oh jeez, yes Emma. Oh I've see worse in the day.” I laughed mentally again at the granddad touch to his voice at the last sentence. Until I realised they type of worse he'd seen and my insides blackened and shrivelled. But I pushed this aside and just nodded. As I walked pass the sofa to get to Matt I patted Jimmy on the shoulder, and he put his hand on mine for a second before we let go. With no eye contact.
I was glad Enchantra wasn't one of these friends who tag round after you everywhere like a duckling. She dispatched from me with a little nod, to a corner where she took out a sketch pad and charcoal pencil.
I opened the door to the room and instantly knew he must be getting better. He was pink again, the way humans should be, with that cute china doll flush in his cheeks. And then the love that swarmed through me had me running to him in seconds and cradling his face with my hands in relief.
And then I realised something.
I had been trying to save Emma. But. When I fell in love with Matt I had been human. And it just so happened that one that day true love had connected us before I turned into what I am today. And true love can't break unless death takes place (which then leaves the other feeling so empty they generally kill them self, I read up a little about it in my rare free time when I'm not outside at night), so Matt carries the piece of my heart that never died.
I CAN ALWAYS HAVE A BIT OF ME LEFT BY MY SIDE. I wanted to embrace myself, to sing and dance in a very uncharacteristic way. But the overwhelming feelings crashed down on me. Making me weak at the knees. And I realised I needed bed.
I gave him a kiss on his forehead before leaving the room.
“Night!” the boys called as I passed. Jimmy just smiled.
“You to.” I replied. And then I paused.
“Where's Sarah Jimmy? Where is she now a days.”
“Oh her and Lizzie are working on a big project in the study hall, she sleeps in there to avoid you most times any way. And when you do go in there she normally slips into the back room. In other words – she avoiding you.” he gave me an apoplectic look, but I was glad he didn't try to hide stuff from me to spare my feelings. “But we have to have her on the team Emma. Brilliant mind.” I very much doubted it but shook my head.
“No its fine. See you in the morning.”
Then I went to Enchantra and said so quietly so the others wouldn't' hear. “You need some sleep? We can go head to toe.” she looked reviled.
After we both were in our bed clothes we lay in bed, and just as we were drifting away Enchantra said something very interesting.
“Coffins.” she sighed.
“What?”
“Those myths that vampire sleep in coffins aren't really myths. I tell you, beds are way more comfy.” it was random, yes. But it got me up on my elbows to star directly at her. Her hair was tinged green in this light and was spilling over her pillow making her look like a very pretty version of Medusa.
“Coffins were the only way. Vampires are stuck behind in time. Once you lived in caves and god knows what else. A couple of traditional covens live in caves that lead underground. We needed some type of bed the would fit down that small gap, so we could sleep.
Not even a mattresses fit into the small opening of the cave. So we ended up taking coffins with comfy satin linings because they were the only things we could get down there at the time. Of course it was easy for us to get in and out. Being so agile.
“It was a very relaxing place to live and we made it homey despite the cobwebs. In the dim glow of candle light. Very warming...” I could hear the pain it was causing her to say it. So I stifled at yawn to give her an excuse to stop.
“I never knew that,” I said dreamily, “But I'm so tiered. Can we discuss this tomorrow?” she nodded and I could see she wished she'd never started the conversation. But it was very interesting indeed.
YES! A dreamless night again. That's the good thing about being absolutely shattered. You very quickly pass the lighter stage of sleeping you generally have dreams in. You just fall into deep and beautiful sleep.
And to ruin my ruby mood, I was very thirsty. Not blood lust...yet. So I jumped out of bed, hearing the distance noise of bird song. It was still early, but being a vampire I didn't have the crappy waking up feeling humans get where they have to stretch and yawn and scratch. And don't quite get with it until five or so minutes later.
Instantly I stretched any way, old habits dye hard, as they say. I lent down an whispered in Enchantra's perfect ear, “breakfast.”
Her thick frame of dark eye lashes fluttered open and her eyes found me as I straightened. And she was up in seconds as we staggered to the breakfast room for some donor blood.
“Today.” she directed me calmly and efficiently after we both felt new and ready after breakfast. I can't remember when I had felt so good physically after I had changed. A long sleep (well for a vampire any way), and full of breakfast, I was literally bouncing on the spot. But Enchantra, despite the fact she was slightly more cheerful, stayed the statue she always was. Most people who would meet Enchantra would think she never showed any expression or emotion. She was scarred by her past. I, on the other had, could read those huge projecting eyes and feel the vibes.
“Today, what? Go get the girl?” she nodded soberly.
I tried to string together a sentence.
“Really, so urgent.” she simply nodded, a tiny fraction of a movement a human would miss.
“Before she has enough time to think things through and decided to turn against you fully.”
“Tonight then.”
“Tonight.” I shook my head and sighed. Leaning on the surface of the counter I looked at her squarely in the face.
“Are there even such things as witches.” I asked and she shocked me a little by shrugging.
“I have no idea. I think so. But I've only herd rumours. Why don't we do some research today, other wise we'll be sitting on the sofa thinking about god knows what.” I fumbled around as she waited patiently for my answer then nodded.
“Your right.”
“Well of course.”
A smooth silence filled the space between us until we herd the distance slaps of feet on floor boards and the door gradually opened. Jimmy looked awful. He was milky pale, shaky and sweaty. With deep penetrating bags.
He saw us standing next to the table that had splashes of blood all over it and then looked up at me (Enchantra had gone to the far side of the small kitchen to sneer at him. She was a bit of a bitch to every one, but me. But her past doesn't help). He smiled a little.
“Morning.” he nodded and set about making coffee as I got the cloth and wiped down the surfaces.
“Jimmy, you don't look so good.”
“Err, end of the month? Any bright ideas as why?” oh yes. The grumpiness was coming out now. His foul moods just before the moon. I held my hands up innocently.
“Allrighty. Just saying.” I laughed weakly and tuned to Enchantra.
“Rude...” I cut her off before she could say the word lingering in her mind.
“OKAY. Study hall if you will.” her eyes met mine for a moment and she spun of her heels to duck under the little door.
“Werewolf's,” she stated, “are loving creatures, with swollen hearts. But he isn't horrible before he changes, just moody.” it didn't surprise me, “I've never met any werewolf so caring before.
“He is so different. And the struggle of it will give him an early death bed – even for a were wolf. You see, in covens, or packs as they call them, they have wolf characteristics in the day but mainly act as lightly humorous, fun but smart guys to be around. But obviously personalities differ. Werewolf's can shape shift at night at will. The difference is that when they choose to shape shift they have control once they're in wolf form, for a full moon for example, they become pretty much killing machines, they turn into wolfs against will and forget who they are. The ones I know hunt at night but by day are sparky bright boys, who are good to hang around with. Even if you do get the odd immature one. And they're normally quite well toned to.” I threw her an, OMG-you-so-fancy-their-kind, look and started to walk along the huge shelves to find W.
“No I don't fancy them, but I think they're very interesting and genuinely good to have as friends.”
We spent nearly the whole morning actually finding books about witches. Near the end I was pretty sure they weren't real and we were wasting our time. But it just seemed witches were incredibly secretive. Around 11 Jimmy burst in the library just as I pulled a certain book from the very top of the very left side of one of the tallest leanest, further back, shelves.
“We've traced another spirit filled body Emma. Just letting you know were going out!” with that he charged to the weapon room soon returning fully loaded and disappearing through the door. I obviously couldn't go out in the daylight any more, in case I was seen.
With a little surge of excitement and hope for the best luck in the mission, I looked down at the deep purple leather hard back that had silver engraved swirls covering it and gasped. It was what we had been looking for. It was very simply titled, Witches.
Me and Enchantra huddled together, shoulder to shoulder on the huge oak table. And by the end of all the notes we had taken we both leaned back and gave long and slow breaths out.
Witches:
Magic. They could evoke magic out of this world. Apart from bring back the dead, only the leader of them can do so, although an average witch can kill.
Connection. Witches are all connected by their eyes. As soon as they turn 16 their powers kick in and their eyes change allowing them to have insight of there fellow witches inside worlds – but they must know what witch they want to look into otherwise it is impossible to know where they are and if they are in danger or not.
Themselves: they have two sides. Very much a good side and a bad side if you will. Two personalities. One minute they can be them selves. The next they can turn into some one who opposite. It doesn't occur to their leader, but often does to the average witch.
And so the list dragged on, the one I had scribbled in front of me as we had read the old text.
“Do you think....?” she started but I slammed the stupid book shut and shook my head stubbornly.
“NO. No. Not her, not now. I can't cope with this.” I stood up and looked down on her.
“Maybe I didn't see her doing powers. Maybe I was just being stupid over something that looked slightly abnormal. She may have been practising magic tricks from a box with invisible thread for all I know.” and even thought I knew it was a lie, it comforted my outer shell for the time being.
“I'm going to see Matt. Then we drink and then go save the brat.”
“The prick.” she corrected me. I shot her a disapproving look but nodded all the same.
I didn't know what to feel right now. All I know is that the loathing I felt for her may be jealously and Jimmy was right, you can't judge some one by one meeting.
“Okay, what do you think Enchantra?” she glanced at me from her nails.
“I don't know right now.” she closed her eyes lightly.
“Lets go, out the study hall, I mean, it feels like its closing in.” and it did, the towering shelves seemed to lean over and crash down inside me, simply because I was confused. Painfully.
“Yes, lets.” Enchantra agreed and we both hurried from the hall into the kitchen where Nessa was standing frowning at the recipe.
“Err, Nessa what are you doing?” I asked slowly. She looked up at me franticly.
“Well, Matt's not in a fit state to cook so we're all taking turns on it...and well. Its my turn!” she said brightly but a little hysterically.
“Calm.” I ordered and she looked at me with wide eyes.
“Yeah, I know. I'm just worried about poisoning everyone.” she laughed a little breathless.
“What you making?”
“Pizza.” she replied.
“Pizza?” she nodded. I budged her out the way with my hip.
“Vanessa, I'm a vampire who doesn't eat food and I can even make Pizza. Including the dough.” I added smugly. She stared at me in awe.
“Well its ready made dough.” she nodded over to the packet. I rolled my eyes.
“Then what's the problem?” she nodded over to the work surface a rolling pin tangled up in a lump of sticky yellow stuff.
“The dough keeps sticking and now I can' get it off!” I giggled.
“Your so silly! You have to flower the work surface and the pin first, or dough sticks.” she nodded processing the information.
“Then you put toppings on in this order, tomato, toppings of your choice, then cheese to lock the moisture in. Then zap it in the oven for 8 minutes, kay?”
“Awww, cheers Emma.”
“Any day.” I muttered in disbelief and suppressed an eye roll. When we were out the small kitchen Enchantra turned to me and said.
“how do you know that? I though you said you never cooked.”
“I didn't, it was just a lesson at school. Watching the teacher make Pizza in food in textiles. I don't under stand why the bothered to give them. We never learnt anything... apart from how to make Pizza.” I gave her a hasty smile.
“I don't remember food.” Enchantra said, her same soft sadness etched into her beautiful voice. I looked round at her and her face was puckered in deep concentration.
“I just... can't. I can remember when I first changed. It was horrible.” sometimes I wish Enchantra didn't tell me about her past. The way she spoke of it was like watching an 18 certificate horror movie.
“Woke up in the white silk bed I had fallen a sleep in every night and there was one person in the room. My older brother. Reading with out a care in the world! No one knew what I had turned into. And when I woke I was so thirsty. A raging thirst. And I couldn't help it. I killed him. Blood lust. And as I did so I couldn't stop and all the while I was crying my eyes out. He was trying to push my solid body back. He was shouting, Annabell! What's wrong? Why are you, what are you? In pain and thick gurgles and when I could stop he was gone and I started to scream. I screamed and scream blood curdling screams that made their flesh quiver.
My sister ran in first and when she saw she screamed to and she looked at me. I couldn't help it, I tried to stop! I screamed at her as the tears ran down my face. And we were twins so she knew me. I know, was her answer. And my parents followed and when they saw they screamed. And what they did next filled me with so much anger and hatred. And vampires are so dangerous when they're angry.
“He took a sword off the wall, one of his collectors items, and started to swing it at me. He was so scared and filled with rage. My mother kept shouting and shouting, The heart Herald, the heart! Aim for the heart, kill the beast that had possessed out daughter! And I was cowering. And then only person who could see past the eyes and the hair was the person I was most close to. She threw her self in front of me and screamed. No! And it was that moment of hesitation I flung forward and ripped there hearts out, with my hand. That thought will stick with Rose for ever. She collapsed on the floor on top of my brothers body in pain and let me go.
I owe her my life, she owes me her orphaning” her face stayed the same, expressionless. Her eyes we full of so much pain it was hard to look at her. So to avoid her harmful glare I pulled her into a hug .
“I'm sorry.” she whispered. “But your the first person I've told.” I had no idea what to say. I could feel her pain and it mad my insides curl.
I kept replaying what it must have been like. The scene of her farther who sounded like a mad man to me. Her sister throwing her self in front of the blade of a sword.
No.
it was horrible. Unreal.
Enchantra very quickly pulled her self together and held her head very high despite her hight. She but her favourite sneer on her face.
“I don't care about them. Its all shit. And I may want to see my sister, but she won't want to see me. So I'm just going to have to live with it. Like I said, I don't care.” the ice in her voice made my teeth chatter.
“Your so unpredictable.” she snorted and walked away. I shook my head and looked over to Jimmy who was sitting on the couch cross legged, trying to read a book which was shaking a little in his hands. Nessa came up to me and placed her hand on my back before I could go over to him.
“What was that about?” she nodded in the general direction Enchantra had ventured off. “Talk about split personality.” I shrugged.
“I've never seen her like that before. I know she goes all cold with humans, she really does hate them, but I think its just the past piling on her shoulders.” she nodded and we walked into the kitchen where Nessa opened the fridge and pulled out a bag.
“I know you don't like the subject... but have you thought about it? There's only so much I can gabble on to Max about it. Poor thing. I empty all my thoughts and feeling on his tiny shoulders. Hamsters do have shoulders right?”
She undid the bag and pulled out a plate.
“Thought about what?” she turned the bag upside down so wet pieces of raw meat slapped onto the plate making me wince. We both stared at it as we spoke. She had made no sense.
“You know...” but she was cut off my the beeping of the oven signalling that dinner was ready.
She put an oven glove on and pulled it out. It was golden and bubbly (smelt rancid to me, but warming to her), and the satisfaction from her face poured onto it.
“Sorry, as I was saying, about the you know business.”
“You really aren't helping...” then I remembered and gasped.
“You still want that? Even in the danger we're in at the moment. Oh god Nessa. Why? You are amazing and beautiful with great gifts and...”
a big harrumph came from the door way as Enchantra glided in. She took a bag of blood from the donor cupboard and then said, “Emma – no human is beautiful and being able to climb trees and stay awake at night isn't what most people would call a beautiful gift.” god she was in a bad mood. With that she left.
“Okay, I think its time to drop the subject Nessa, don't press.”
“But...” I grabbed the plate of meat and walked out the kitchen slamming the door behind me.
“Jimmy?” I called. Sarah peered over the sofa at me and grimaced at the plate, then she looked up at me sheepishly.
“Ahhh!” Jimmy said roughly. “Thank you Emma.” and he got up and went into a different room to eat it.
“Err, Emma?” I pretty much ignored Sarah now a days. So it shocked me a little. But I looked at her politely and said, “Sarah?”
“Look. This sounds small of me. But I guess I'm sorry. I was scared of you because my grandfather got too much into researching your kind and was attacked by vampires and were wolfs for trying to take them hostage. In the end killed. Unbelievable? Yes. But so much goes on behind our backs now a days. Any way, what I'm trying to say is that I was scared and the only way to hide my fear was to be snide. I am a nice person really.” she muffled. I frowned.
“That's okay Sarah. Thank you. Oh and by the way, to tell me that isn't small at all. But makes you bigger than when you confronted me knowing I could rip your head off at any time.” I kept the tone polite. She grinned.
“So I don't need to steer clear of you any more.”
“So you don't need to steer clear of me any more.” I never said she should any way but that's her problem. And no offence to her granddad but if he tries to take vampires and werewolf's hostage I'm not all that surprised he's dead.
She gave me a brief smile and went back to flirting with Zen who was taking the whole thing as a joke, hence the fact he was gay and loved designer underwear.
Nessa came out the kitchen looking a bit crest fallen but with a large cut up pizza in her hand.
“Dinner everyone!” she called. The boys faces lit up like two kids at a sleep over.
“Great choice in food Lizzie.” they chorused as she laughed and put it down on the table. I took two slices and Lizzie threw me a questioning look.
“For Matt.” I sighed. She nodded and I tried to smile at her but I really couldn't in this stale mood. I still loved Nessa, I just wish she'd stop bugging me. So I just went into the room Matt was in.
To my joy he was sitting up doing his own eye drops for the damaged eye. When he saw me his face broke into a smile.
“Emma! I woke up earlier and I feel so much better! Not fully fixed, but way on the way there.” I gave him a smile back.
“So your fancy a bit of pizza then?” I held them up and his gaze fell on them and lit up just like the other boys had. Pizza must be a boy thing.
I handed them to him and he ate them fast. Obviously hungry. I perched on the side of the table and snuggled into him, I know we both felt different love but Matt was my guilty pleasure for when I needed comfort.
“I miss having you around.” he patted my shoulder and leaned into me.
“Not long.” I breathed in his sweet scent. It was so good to be by his side. Suddenly I felt his body stiffen and I looked up at him with hurt, questioning eyes.
But he was looking over my shoulder with a stern face, his grip tightened on my arm and his heart plummeted. I felt a slight spasm as I spun around.
“Is every one going to have that reaction to me round here.” Enchantra was leaning on the door frame, a little bit of blood dribbled from her lips.
She licked it with her tongue and looked at me with warm eyes.
“We need to go soon.” then she glanced at Matt with much colder eyes.
“Like now.” I nodded and she smiled at me before disappearing.
“Why do you even like her?” Matt cried. And I looked up at him.
“She's very nice once you get to know her.”
“Or she's very nice if your a vampire.” I stiffened my back and stared him in the eye.
“Well no one in here is treating her like she belongs. The minute she came in you stiffened and went cold and god knows what else. What's wrong with a glance and a hi?”
“Well maybe because if she didn't look so ghostly...” I stood up and stared at him.
“Matt I thought you were better than that, Enchantra has had a hard past and she's close to me,” and I left the room leaving him a little fuming. Jimmy met me just round the corner as I buckled and gasped. But it was serious pain. It was like some set my heart on fire. I scrambled round desperately at my chest to rip my heart out, anything to stop the surging explosion of acid flames that made my body feel unexplainable. It vibrated my tissues and swam through my head.
Jimmy held onto my hand, putting his fingers round each wrists. Then he lowered me to the ground.
“Ripping your heart out won't help.” I could of thrown him off. Easy... but the pain had died down already. It left the space where my heart was supposed to be I felt empty but full of ash. Like it really had burned part of me away. And it left my gasping for air and kneeling on the floor with my hands out in front of me. I tried to clear my head and wiped back the sweat.
The emptiness was drowning me. It was like a sickness pain but in my chest. It was horrible. Disgusting.
“Did you and Matt just have an argument or something?” Jimmy asked calmly and I looked up at his chalky face and those deep circles as he held onto my elbows to support me.
“Yeah.” I managed.
“If you break up with him, then it will feel like all your insides are gone and that you are only a shell. The pain will kill you a slow and torturous death. If you have an argument then it will torturer your heart. Its a lot more painful if your human with an active heart obviously. The only way to restore what will feel like weights pressing on your chest and making you feel sick, is to restore that chip of love you just lost. You can't go back and hug him and say I'm sorry. It has to be real and not just words and actions. Okay?” I stood up slowly and nodded.
“Thank you. Now please rest.” he looked awful.
“Sure thing.” I started to go to the bisection room but rough hands caught my shoulders.
“Matt's eyes, nose and ears will be streaming with a little bit of blood right now from the pressure. Not a good idea. He was probably sick as well.” I put my fingers over my eyes.
“Oh god, this was bad. I'm so sorry. With his condition the stress it has probably put on his body. I'm so sorry. I... oh shit I'm a bad person.” he shook his head.
“Don't worry. I'll clean it up...”
“No you won't. Nessa won't mind. No offence Jimmy but you look crap.” he moaned a little but nodded.
“Okay, fine with me. Just call if you need any help.” he patted me on the back and walked pass into the next room. I followed full of dread and fear. Real fear.
Enchantra looked up, and instantly read my flow of thoughts.
“Oh god Emma. You okay?”
“I think we should go do the mission now. If we have to build back love then we need a little time to recap.” I hated this. I hated it. It meant I couldn't fall in love or be with any one else, Matt thought we were finances, I thought it was like sister brother love. I'm stuck with a human, and I'm going to be wrecked when he dies. I might die. No one had seemed to realised this.
“Oh god yes. I agree. I once met a... it doesn't matter. But yes, we'll set off now then. Oh, and if you find a witch they may be able to help you.” something told me I didn't want to know the story of who she met and what miserable ending it had. And in a way I still wanted to love Matt and wondered if that would be possible if we managed to break this true love shit.
“Actually. It was a happy ending this time. For him any way.”
“Huh.” she joined my side and we went out side to sit on the wall.
“Were wolfs have things called soul mates. Only 50% of them find them. Were wolfs are good at tracking. Its true love for humans. Soul mates for were wolfs. I don't know what it is for witches. Barley any people know anything about those secretive devils. But I do know there isn't one for vampires unless they had true love before they were changed. Did you know that only 45% of vampires survive there first week of being a vampire? Their body doesn't accept the blood. Any way, back to one of the only happy stories I have.
I fell in love with a were-wolf as our covens passed. We used to meet up every night even though we were based very far apart. Obviously both quick and agile.
“We used to lie next to each other staring at the stars. They were the happiest months of my life. I was finally settling down. When were wolfs see there soul mates they know that they are soul mate straight away. Some were-wolfs find there soul mate and fall in love with them but can never actually get them to fall in love with them. Only half the time you get two were wolfs that are soul mates.
Being a vampire I knew there was no way to connect with this person as other types from our world do, to ensure of be guaranteed that we would stay connected for ever more. I.e, true love.
So we were walking along one day holding hands. We had gone on a holiday to Texas. He had always wanted to go, he said his tracking senses told him to, so we just did as a break. And he saw this cute cowgirl chick riding a white horse (of course) and his hand slipped mine immediately and he gasped, “that's my soul mate!”
I was in so much pain at the time. But I still wanted to make sure she accepted him so I hang around for a couple of days. I couldn't go near humans though. At the time I was very ravenous and stupid. I thirsted for blood all the time and was a monster of the night.
She did take him. He was tall with good looks and a nicely toned body. A husky voice and a big smile. Werewolves come like humans, in all different shapes and sizes.
So he was happy and because he was happy. It made me happy. I don't think he ever thought about me again after that. But I couldn't read minds at the time so I cant be sure. Normally werewolves are an open book.” I looked at her.
“I'm going to do everything I can to make sure its a happy ending for you.” I herd my self promising. More to myself that her.
She squeezed my hand.
“Thanks. That means a lot.” and with that we set off into the night.
She was unimaginably, unmistakably different to a normal human. But something told me that she knew she had a secret but she wasn't all that sure about it, it made my mind whirl with anticipation.
She was sitting at the table, chewing on a pen and staring at a book, fiddling constantly with her blinding hair which was unfortunately pulled into a bunch today. I wanted to slide in and ask the questions that were clogging my thoughts, but I somehow don't think that's secretly spying on some one.
And any way – I needed to see what she was like on her own.
Rosalind.
It was bizarre feeling. Most of my life I was surrounded by the constant annoyance of my farther, and then the others my private tutors. And I find myself sitting here nearly every night telling my farther I'm doing research when really I can't stand to be at home. And sometimes I found myself pretending it was my own, so I would know the feeling of reliability of having a place to call yours..
But as I had turned 16 I have noticed things changing. I walked over to the mirror and peered into the mirror. I had always looked young for my age, but my eyes were so much brighter? Diamond bright, they reflected off the mirror and hit me back in the face with there beauty. I wasn't beautiful, just impishly pretty. But my eyes told a different story. Before I turned 16 they were flat like any other persons eyes. Now they had a mysterious silver swimming round in there purple glaze, but also seemed as deep as the sea, so many thoughts and wonders swirling In them. So deep and meaningful and amazing.
Any way, enough of being vein. It wasn't just my eyes. It felt like I was needed. Some where. Like some one was calling me through the frail whispers of the wind, there were fingers pulling at my hands and I wanted to follow them so bad. But I had to keep my feet firmly rooted (painstakingly), to the ground and stay strong.
It was also actions of every day life.
I reach out to pick something up and it seems to jump into my fingers before I have a chance to. Silly I know. I'm probably just acting up with boredom and worry. Not a good mixture. But I thought I'd try it any way.
So I placed a salt and pepper shaker on the table that stood in front of one of the crappy non-double glazed windows, and stood at the other end feeling light headed and stupid. I held my hand out and leaned forward to pick it up, clearly stating the ambition in my mind. And it was like an invisible person was handing me every thing my mind was ordering. It slid along the table like a swan to water, directly into my hand, lifting a little before it touched my skin. It was like my whole world collapsed and a new one reformed.
I can not explain the thrill that exploded inside me like a hundred fireworks at that moment. It span through my nerves, twisting them together, and sending an electric jolt through my body of pure glee. And I found my self closing my eyes and letting everything pile onto me. The possibility. The sounds, sights, smells, feelings the taste of my new found knowledge on my tongue. And then my eyes snapped open. I was being stupid. A silly little girl mixed in a fairy tale and I hated myself instantly for getting so worked up over it.
There was, must be, a perfect explanation for the happenings of just now, it was just, just I couldn't think of it. I found my self pulling myself up on the table and resting my head in my hands. I wish there was someone there to tell my worries to. I was drowning in myself. It was like being locked inside a cage that was being rattled by the only person most people would tell, only you can't. Dad. I was scared of him. Or I used to be. I didn't feel scared any more. I felt... fearless in a way, but sick with worry. My hormones were messing me around I should think. Like something is changing inside of me.
But then at the same time I felt this feeling of eyes on my back. Something staring. I spun round to see nothing but the night pressing against the window pains so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
There was the life vibrating around me. Then there was the air and the feeble life of the plants in the corner, the dead life of paper in a book. So I ventured outside. Into the night and pass the window frame which is where I felt it. The white feathers splattered with blood, the beautiful vibes of passion and wars that built up inside. I found myself predicting thoughts from listening to the space out side, should I be this monster? Who am I? How much worse am I to become?
The thoughts of a girl who once went to school, who had teenage arguments with her mum. Who dreamed of loosing virginity and winced as her friends started smoking. Who once sat and watch kids channels in front of the TV. And now she looked in the mirror and saw an alien. She hated it. Loved her new family and life. Hated herself, and it was an constant war that stabbed her with so much grief I could feel it and it hurt. She was trying so hard to cling onto her humanity.
But that wasn't the point. The point was I had only sensed this type of life (living dead), once before, and that was when a vampire was lying on the bed in the room next to us.
Still fearless, but cloaked with worry, I ran over to the window and yanked it open. It was that second I felt the white feathers and blood disappear but could sense it hiding some where near by.
“COME OUT ,YOU COWARD OF THE NIGHT! STOP SPYING ON ME! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?” I yelled into the darkness before me. It rang out and I waited taking heavy breaths. No reply so without thinking twice I put my hand in front of me and yelled,
“let the light show you to me!” a throbbing white light shot from the palm of my hand like a spot light and fell upon a space where I saw a flick of disappearing chestnut hair as a certain vampire fled into the night. I was angry now as the light flickered and dimmed. Very angry. I felt like I could set the whole building on fire and I just wanted to rip things and...
So what. So what if some low life vampire want to watch me. The other side of me thought. The angel perched on my shoulder. Let her. Won't bother me. I will sit here and take a chill pill.
Then the devil contending on my other shoulder told me to kill her.
But as I sat down and looked through my book with fumbling fingers, I couldn't control how much I was shaking and how sick I felt, I dashed to the toilette just in time. And suddenly I didn't want to be alone. I at least wanted my dad shouting in my ear. To keep my distracted from the fact I would be reminiscing al night about the things I managed to do and the fact vampires are on my heels spying at me.
I hated my life. Hated it. Jeez. How much do need to emphasis.
Close. But she made it to easy. If my heart was still beating it would have been thundering against my ribs, full throttle, right now.
She had yelled into the night that she was going to cast a light on me so it gave me time tor run.
And she was luckily that the window only gazed out upon a concrete area and fence that blocked off a little woodland area – other wise other people would of seen what was making my skin crawl. She had powers. I don't think she understood fully yet, but neither did I. At all. But I didn't want to tell the others about it. There was something personal there. Like she needed to discover them on her own.
I arrived at the HQ but was still shaken so I hitched myself up on the wall and put my head in my hands, I seemed to do this a lot now a days.
“1, 2, 3,” I muttered as I tried to control my breathing. “In and out, in and out...” I looked up at the starry sky to stretch my neck.
My life had way to much going on. It was like a play with two scenes going on at once.
And then at the same time, I had the mind blowing task of trying to control the monster surging inside me. I was clinging desperately onto the Emma but could slowly feeling the monsters vines sprawling out inside me and dragging me into myself. I would always be Emma inside but I wanted people to see that on the outside two! I saw fear in the eyes of people I love when they look at me, and god knows the images that flash through their feeble minds. And I can't help it. It was like me against the whole world. But maybe if I lost Emma it wasn't that I would just become an animal to kill. Maybe I would just going to change into some one else, like Enchantra.
So what was I to do? Help the pixie like girl bring her inner self out as she was locked in her false smile by her farther, or keep my inner self from escaping and tearing apart everything that had ever happened to me?
And then there was the guilt. The guilt that I know Enchantra once was a free vampire who could be completely who she truly was. And now, with tight eyes, was forced to live around humans and contain herself purely because she's scared. Scared to be alone, and she's here for me as much I am for her. I had saved her when she was doing the vampires idea of committing suicide and there had been an instant but guarded connection. And I was the only thing like her left for miles and miles due to the slayers, or so I thought.
All we had was each other and we had to keep a hold of our more humane sides if we didn't want to risk getting caught. Not that its helped much.
“Enchantra...” I whispered into the wind.
She was by my side in a second.
“Your worried.” she stated. I nodded.
“You can tell me.” suddenly I spilled my guts like I hadn't intended to.
“She has powers! But not weak powers. Powers with so much possibilities in it! Amazing powers with so much strength! But I have a feeling they've only started to reach her. Like now she's 16 she gains them. I don't think she fully understands yet. And I don't know what her farther will do to her if he finds out. He killed her mother! Its like he's scared to be over ruled. And, and I'm not sure what to focus on more. Me? Or her.” Enchantra stayed her same calm, expressionless face but I could see she was thinking deeply in her eyes. Then she sucked in breath.
“What ever feels right.” she said softly, looking into the night over my shoulder. I honestly didn't know. “I wish there was a vampire sense when we know what's right...” Enchantra trailed off.
“Yeah, ooo it must me right because my fangs are tingling.” I smirked sarcastically. She gave me a half hearted smile back.
“Hey Emma. Where'd you go?” Lizzie walked briskly into the side yard. I shrugged casually.
“Just to watch that girl for a while.”
“Oh yeah? Anything interesting.” I hopped of the wall and shook my head.
“No.” I replied bluntly. She didn't seem disappointed as she walked over to the dustbin and dumped the dustbin bag she had in her other hand inside it.
Dropping the lid, which was a caramel gold from rust, back down, she shrugged back,
“that's a shame. You girls had a nice night.” Enchantra flashed me a confused look as she said this. After Lizzie was out of ear shot Enchantra turned on me and I braced my self, but instead she surprised me a little by using her same, beautiful voice that was always etched with a sleepy sadness.
“Why didn't you tell her?” I turned to look directly at the wall.
“I don't know.” I answered her with as much truth as possible. She didn't press.
“I only realised after you left, that we weren't allowed out. It was very risky.” I decided not to tell her about the fact I was nearly caught then.
“I know. That should be the last time I have to take those risks.”
She nodded and then said in a slightly perkier voice, “come on in then. Jimmy's a lot better.” I smiled at those round eyes and followed her silk flowing hair into the HQ. Jimmy was sitting, like ever, on the sofa reading the paper as the two boys resumed watching their film. Looking over there shoulder in unison they both gave a gentle smile (well Adams was close to cocky, but it was still nice), and a small wave. It made me laugh inside but I didn't seem to laugh out loud as much now a days, the thought squeezed me until I felt physically sick, like a bower constricter.
Jimmy's head flicked up at our silent approach.
“Hey? Why do you look so sick?” he asked me. I glanced away with a little tear in my eye as I knew Emma was leaving me, then looked back at him with cold eyes.
“You scared me.” he looked concerned for a second then grinned ear to ear.
“Scared? About me? Kid that's not right.”
“Oh but it is.” I interjected him, not sure why I felt cross. Enchantra was keeping her distance from all of us as she normally did.
He looked up at me wistfully and said very simply,
“I'm fine.” he shook his head.
“Get a little sleep tonight please Emma. And then see Matt. He should come about tomorrow because we can start to take him off some of the painkillers. Its not so bad.”
“What damage was done?” I herd myself saying. I herd Emma saying as her heart throbbed with love and grief. Jimmy sighed as if talking about it was painful,
“as the table leg came one of the legs flicked back ripping through his face and the contents on the top smashed so large shards of glass entered his flesh. But they weren't that bad, what's bad is the glass that gut his eye. He's had stitched of course...” Jimmy smiled at Lizzie who saluted him as she walked through, arms loaded with what looked like a knew set of books.
“He'll be okay though.” I winced. Some how, even if he wasn't going to be, I needed insurance to keep calm.
“Oh jeez, yes Emma. Oh I've see worse in the day.” I laughed mentally again at the granddad touch to his voice at the last sentence. Until I realised they type of worse he'd seen and my insides blackened and shrivelled. But I pushed this aside and just nodded. As I walked pass the sofa to get to Matt I patted Jimmy on the shoulder, and he put his hand on mine for a second before we let go. With no eye contact.
I was glad Enchantra wasn't one of these friends who tag round after you everywhere like a duckling. She dispatched from me with a little nod, to a corner where she took out a sketch pad and charcoal pencil.
I opened the door to the room and instantly knew he must be getting better. He was pink again, the way humans should be, with that cute china doll flush in his cheeks. And then the love that swarmed through me had me running to him in seconds and cradling his face with my hands in relief.
And then I realised something.
I had been trying to save Emma. But. When I fell in love with Matt I had been human. And it just so happened that one that day true love had connected us before I turned into what I am today. And true love can't break unless death takes place (which then leaves the other feeling so empty they generally kill them self, I read up a little about it in my rare free time when I'm not outside at night), so Matt carries the piece of my heart that never died.
I CAN ALWAYS HAVE A BIT OF ME LEFT BY MY SIDE. I wanted to embrace myself, to sing and dance in a very uncharacteristic way. But the overwhelming feelings crashed down on me. Making me weak at the knees. And I realised I needed bed.
I gave him a kiss on his forehead before leaving the room.
“Night!” the boys called as I passed. Jimmy just smiled.
“You to.” I replied. And then I paused.
“Where's Sarah Jimmy? Where is she now a days.”
“Oh her and Lizzie are working on a big project in the study hall, she sleeps in there to avoid you most times any way. And when you do go in there she normally slips into the back room. In other words – she avoiding you.” he gave me an apoplectic look, but I was glad he didn't try to hide stuff from me to spare my feelings. “But we have to have her on the team Emma. Brilliant mind.” I very much doubted it but shook my head.
“No its fine. See you in the morning.”
Then I went to Enchantra and said so quietly so the others wouldn't' hear. “You need some sleep? We can go head to toe.” she looked reviled.
After we both were in our bed clothes we lay in bed, and just as we were drifting away Enchantra said something very interesting.
“Coffins.” she sighed.
“What?”
“Those myths that vampire sleep in coffins aren't really myths. I tell you, beds are way more comfy.” it was random, yes. But it got me up on my elbows to star directly at her. Her hair was tinged green in this light and was spilling over her pillow making her look like a very pretty version of Medusa.
“Coffins were the only way. Vampires are stuck behind in time. Once you lived in caves and god knows what else. A couple of traditional covens live in caves that lead underground. We needed some type of bed the would fit down that small gap, so we could sleep.
Not even a mattresses fit into the small opening of the cave. So we ended up taking coffins with comfy satin linings because they were the only things we could get down there at the time. Of course it was easy for us to get in and out. Being so agile.
“It was a very relaxing place to live and we made it homey despite the cobwebs. In the dim glow of candle light. Very warming...” I could hear the pain it was causing her to say it. So I stifled at yawn to give her an excuse to stop.
“I never knew that,” I said dreamily, “But I'm so tiered. Can we discuss this tomorrow?” she nodded and I could see she wished she'd never started the conversation. But it was very interesting indeed.
YES! A dreamless night again. That's the good thing about being absolutely shattered. You very quickly pass the lighter stage of sleeping you generally have dreams in. You just fall into deep and beautiful sleep.
And to ruin my ruby mood, I was very thirsty. Not blood lust...yet. So I jumped out of bed, hearing the distance noise of bird song. It was still early, but being a vampire I didn't have the crappy waking up feeling humans get where they have to stretch and yawn and scratch. And don't quite get with it until five or so minutes later.
Instantly I stretched any way, old habits dye hard, as they say. I lent down an whispered in Enchantra's perfect ear, “breakfast.”
Her thick frame of dark eye lashes fluttered open and her eyes found me as I straightened. And she was up in seconds as we staggered to the breakfast room for some donor blood.
“Today.” she directed me calmly and efficiently after we both felt new and ready after breakfast. I can't remember when I had felt so good physically after I had changed. A long sleep (well for a vampire any way), and full of breakfast, I was literally bouncing on the spot. But Enchantra, despite the fact she was slightly more cheerful, stayed the statue she always was. Most people who would meet Enchantra would think she never showed any expression or emotion. She was scarred by her past. I, on the other had, could read those huge projecting eyes and feel the vibes.
“Today, what? Go get the girl?” she nodded soberly.
I tried to string together a sentence.
“Really, so urgent.” she simply nodded, a tiny fraction of a movement a human would miss.
“Before she has enough time to think things through and decided to turn against you fully.”
“Tonight then.”
“Tonight.” I shook my head and sighed. Leaning on the surface of the counter I looked at her squarely in the face.
“Are there even such things as witches.” I asked and she shocked me a little by shrugging.
“I have no idea. I think so. But I've only herd rumours. Why don't we do some research today, other wise we'll be sitting on the sofa thinking about god knows what.” I fumbled around as she waited patiently for my answer then nodded.
“Your right.”
“Well of course.”
A smooth silence filled the space between us until we herd the distance slaps of feet on floor boards and the door gradually opened. Jimmy looked awful. He was milky pale, shaky and sweaty. With deep penetrating bags.
He saw us standing next to the table that had splashes of blood all over it and then looked up at me (Enchantra had gone to the far side of the small kitchen to sneer at him. She was a bit of a bitch to every one, but me. But her past doesn't help). He smiled a little.
“Morning.” he nodded and set about making coffee as I got the cloth and wiped down the surfaces.
“Jimmy, you don't look so good.”
“Err, end of the month? Any bright ideas as why?” oh yes. The grumpiness was coming out now. His foul moods just before the moon. I held my hands up innocently.
“Allrighty. Just saying.” I laughed weakly and tuned to Enchantra.
“Rude...” I cut her off before she could say the word lingering in her mind.
“OKAY. Study hall if you will.” her eyes met mine for a moment and she spun of her heels to duck under the little door.
“Werewolf's,” she stated, “are loving creatures, with swollen hearts. But he isn't horrible before he changes, just moody.” it didn't surprise me, “I've never met any werewolf so caring before.
“He is so different. And the struggle of it will give him an early death bed – even for a were wolf. You see, in covens, or packs as they call them, they have wolf characteristics in the day but mainly act as lightly humorous, fun but smart guys to be around. But obviously personalities differ. Werewolf's can shape shift at night at will. The difference is that when they choose to shape shift they have control once they're in wolf form, for a full moon for example, they become pretty much killing machines, they turn into wolfs against will and forget who they are. The ones I know hunt at night but by day are sparky bright boys, who are good to hang around with. Even if you do get the odd immature one. And they're normally quite well toned to.” I threw her an, OMG-you-so-fancy-their-kind, look and started to walk along the huge shelves to find W.
“No I don't fancy them, but I think they're very interesting and genuinely good to have as friends.”
We spent nearly the whole morning actually finding books about witches. Near the end I was pretty sure they weren't real and we were wasting our time. But it just seemed witches were incredibly secretive. Around 11 Jimmy burst in the library just as I pulled a certain book from the very top of the very left side of one of the tallest leanest, further back, shelves.
“We've traced another spirit filled body Emma. Just letting you know were going out!” with that he charged to the weapon room soon returning fully loaded and disappearing through the door. I obviously couldn't go out in the daylight any more, in case I was seen.
With a little surge of excitement and hope for the best luck in the mission, I looked down at the deep purple leather hard back that had silver engraved swirls covering it and gasped. It was what we had been looking for. It was very simply titled, Witches.
Me and Enchantra huddled together, shoulder to shoulder on the huge oak table. And by the end of all the notes we had taken we both leaned back and gave long and slow breaths out.
Witches:
Magic. They could evoke magic out of this world. Apart from bring back the dead, only the leader of them can do so, although an average witch can kill.
Connection. Witches are all connected by their eyes. As soon as they turn 16 their powers kick in and their eyes change allowing them to have insight of there fellow witches inside worlds – but they must know what witch they want to look into otherwise it is impossible to know where they are and if they are in danger or not.
Themselves: they have two sides. Very much a good side and a bad side if you will. Two personalities. One minute they can be them selves. The next they can turn into some one who opposite. It doesn't occur to their leader, but often does to the average witch.
And so the list dragged on, the one I had scribbled in front of me as we had read the old text.
“Do you think....?” she started but I slammed the stupid book shut and shook my head stubbornly.
“NO. No. Not her, not now. I can't cope with this.” I stood up and looked down on her.
“Maybe I didn't see her doing powers. Maybe I was just being stupid over something that looked slightly abnormal. She may have been practising magic tricks from a box with invisible thread for all I know.” and even thought I knew it was a lie, it comforted my outer shell for the time being.
“I'm going to see Matt. Then we drink and then go save the brat.”
“The prick.” she corrected me. I shot her a disapproving look but nodded all the same.
I didn't know what to feel right now. All I know is that the loathing I felt for her may be jealously and Jimmy was right, you can't judge some one by one meeting.
“Okay, what do you think Enchantra?” she glanced at me from her nails.
“I don't know right now.” she closed her eyes lightly.
“Lets go, out the study hall, I mean, it feels like its closing in.” and it did, the towering shelves seemed to lean over and crash down inside me, simply because I was confused. Painfully.
“Yes, lets.” Enchantra agreed and we both hurried from the hall into the kitchen where Nessa was standing frowning at the recipe.
“Err, Nessa what are you doing?” I asked slowly. She looked up at me franticly.
“Well, Matt's not in a fit state to cook so we're all taking turns on it...and well. Its my turn!” she said brightly but a little hysterically.
“Calm.” I ordered and she looked at me with wide eyes.
“Yeah, I know. I'm just worried about poisoning everyone.” she laughed a little breathless.
“What you making?”
“Pizza.” she replied.
“Pizza?” she nodded. I budged her out the way with my hip.
“Vanessa, I'm a vampire who doesn't eat food and I can even make Pizza. Including the dough.” I added smugly. She stared at me in awe.
“Well its ready made dough.” she nodded over to the packet. I rolled my eyes.
“Then what's the problem?” she nodded over to the work surface a rolling pin tangled up in a lump of sticky yellow stuff.
“The dough keeps sticking and now I can' get it off!” I giggled.
“Your so silly! You have to flower the work surface and the pin first, or dough sticks.” she nodded processing the information.
“Then you put toppings on in this order, tomato, toppings of your choice, then cheese to lock the moisture in. Then zap it in the oven for 8 minutes, kay?”
“Awww, cheers Emma.”
“Any day.” I muttered in disbelief and suppressed an eye roll. When we were out the small kitchen Enchantra turned to me and said.
“how do you know that? I though you said you never cooked.”
“I didn't, it was just a lesson at school. Watching the teacher make Pizza in food in textiles. I don't under stand why the bothered to give them. We never learnt anything... apart from how to make Pizza.” I gave her a hasty smile.
“I don't remember food.” Enchantra said, her same soft sadness etched into her beautiful voice. I looked round at her and her face was puckered in deep concentration.
“I just... can't. I can remember when I first changed. It was horrible.” sometimes I wish Enchantra didn't tell me about her past. The way she spoke of it was like watching an 18 certificate horror movie.
“Woke up in the white silk bed I had fallen a sleep in every night and there was one person in the room. My older brother. Reading with out a care in the world! No one knew what I had turned into. And when I woke I was so thirsty. A raging thirst. And I couldn't help it. I killed him. Blood lust. And as I did so I couldn't stop and all the while I was crying my eyes out. He was trying to push my solid body back. He was shouting, Annabell! What's wrong? Why are you, what are you? In pain and thick gurgles and when I could stop he was gone and I started to scream. I screamed and scream blood curdling screams that made their flesh quiver.
My sister ran in first and when she saw she screamed to and she looked at me. I couldn't help it, I tried to stop! I screamed at her as the tears ran down my face. And we were twins so she knew me. I know, was her answer. And my parents followed and when they saw they screamed. And what they did next filled me with so much anger and hatred. And vampires are so dangerous when they're angry.
“He took a sword off the wall, one of his collectors items, and started to swing it at me. He was so scared and filled with rage. My mother kept shouting and shouting, The heart Herald, the heart! Aim for the heart, kill the beast that had possessed out daughter! And I was cowering. And then only person who could see past the eyes and the hair was the person I was most close to. She threw her self in front of me and screamed. No! And it was that moment of hesitation I flung forward and ripped there hearts out, with my hand. That thought will stick with Rose for ever. She collapsed on the floor on top of my brothers body in pain and let me go.
I owe her my life, she owes me her orphaning” her face stayed the same, expressionless. Her eyes we full of so much pain it was hard to look at her. So to avoid her harmful glare I pulled her into a hug .
“I'm sorry.” she whispered. “But your the first person I've told.” I had no idea what to say. I could feel her pain and it mad my insides curl.
I kept replaying what it must have been like. The scene of her farther who sounded like a mad man to me. Her sister throwing her self in front of the blade of a sword.
No.
it was horrible. Unreal.
Enchantra very quickly pulled her self together and held her head very high despite her hight. She but her favourite sneer on her face.
“I don't care about them. Its all shit. And I may want to see my sister, but she won't want to see me. So I'm just going to have to live with it. Like I said, I don't care.” the ice in her voice made my teeth chatter.
“Your so unpredictable.” she snorted and walked away. I shook my head and looked over to Jimmy who was sitting on the couch cross legged, trying to read a book which was shaking a little in his hands. Nessa came up to me and placed her hand on my back before I could go over to him.
“What was that about?” she nodded in the general direction Enchantra had ventured off. “Talk about split personality.” I shrugged.
“I've never seen her like that before. I know she goes all cold with humans, she really does hate them, but I think its just the past piling on her shoulders.” she nodded and we walked into the kitchen where Nessa opened the fridge and pulled out a bag.
“I know you don't like the subject... but have you thought about it? There's only so much I can gabble on to Max about it. Poor thing. I empty all my thoughts and feeling on his tiny shoulders. Hamsters do have shoulders right?”
She undid the bag and pulled out a plate.
“Thought about what?” she turned the bag upside down so wet pieces of raw meat slapped onto the plate making me wince. We both stared at it as we spoke. She had made no sense.
“You know...” but she was cut off my the beeping of the oven signalling that dinner was ready.
She put an oven glove on and pulled it out. It was golden and bubbly (smelt rancid to me, but warming to her), and the satisfaction from her face poured onto it.
“Sorry, as I was saying, about the you know business.”
“You really aren't helping...” then I remembered and gasped.
“You still want that? Even in the danger we're in at the moment. Oh god Nessa. Why? You are amazing and beautiful with great gifts and...”
a big harrumph came from the door way as Enchantra glided in. She took a bag of blood from the donor cupboard and then said, “Emma – no human is beautiful and being able to climb trees and stay awake at night isn't what most people would call a beautiful gift.” god she was in a bad mood. With that she left.
“Okay, I think its time to drop the subject Nessa, don't press.”
“But...” I grabbed the plate of meat and walked out the kitchen slamming the door behind me.
“Jimmy?” I called. Sarah peered over the sofa at me and grimaced at the plate, then she looked up at me sheepishly.
“Ahhh!” Jimmy said roughly. “Thank you Emma.” and he got up and went into a different room to eat it.
“Err, Emma?” I pretty much ignored Sarah now a days. So it shocked me a little. But I looked at her politely and said, “Sarah?”
“Look. This sounds small of me. But I guess I'm sorry. I was scared of you because my grandfather got too much into researching your kind and was attacked by vampires and were wolfs for trying to take them hostage. In the end killed. Unbelievable? Yes. But so much goes on behind our backs now a days. Any way, what I'm trying to say is that I was scared and the only way to hide my fear was to be snide. I am a nice person really.” she muffled. I frowned.
“That's okay Sarah. Thank you. Oh and by the way, to tell me that isn't small at all. But makes you bigger than when you confronted me knowing I could rip your head off at any time.” I kept the tone polite. She grinned.
“So I don't need to steer clear of you any more.”
“So you don't need to steer clear of me any more.” I never said she should any way but that's her problem. And no offence to her granddad but if he tries to take vampires and werewolf's hostage I'm not all that surprised he's dead.
She gave me a brief smile and went back to flirting with Zen who was taking the whole thing as a joke, hence the fact he was gay and loved designer underwear.
Nessa came out the kitchen looking a bit crest fallen but with a large cut up pizza in her hand.
“Dinner everyone!” she called. The boys faces lit up like two kids at a sleep over.
“Great choice in food Lizzie.” they chorused as she laughed and put it down on the table. I took two slices and Lizzie threw me a questioning look.
“For Matt.” I sighed. She nodded and I tried to smile at her but I really couldn't in this stale mood. I still loved Nessa, I just wish she'd stop bugging me. So I just went into the room Matt was in.
To my joy he was sitting up doing his own eye drops for the damaged eye. When he saw me his face broke into a smile.
“Emma! I woke up earlier and I feel so much better! Not fully fixed, but way on the way there.” I gave him a smile back.
“So your fancy a bit of pizza then?” I held them up and his gaze fell on them and lit up just like the other boys had. Pizza must be a boy thing.
I handed them to him and he ate them fast. Obviously hungry. I perched on the side of the table and snuggled into him, I know we both felt different love but Matt was my guilty pleasure for when I needed comfort.
“I miss having you around.” he patted my shoulder and leaned into me.
“Not long.” I breathed in his sweet scent. It was so good to be by his side. Suddenly I felt his body stiffen and I looked up at him with hurt, questioning eyes.
But he was looking over my shoulder with a stern face, his grip tightened on my arm and his heart plummeted. I felt a slight spasm as I spun around.
“Is every one going to have that reaction to me round here.” Enchantra was leaning on the door frame, a little bit of blood dribbled from her lips.
She licked it with her tongue and looked at me with warm eyes.
“We need to go soon.” then she glanced at Matt with much colder eyes.
“Like now.” I nodded and she smiled at me before disappearing.
“Why do you even like her?” Matt cried. And I looked up at him.
“She's very nice once you get to know her.”
“Or she's very nice if your a vampire.” I stiffened my back and stared him in the eye.
“Well no one in here is treating her like she belongs. The minute she came in you stiffened and went cold and god knows what else. What's wrong with a glance and a hi?”
“Well maybe because if she didn't look so ghostly...” I stood up and stared at him.
“Matt I thought you were better than that, Enchantra has had a hard past and she's close to me,” and I left the room leaving him a little fuming. Jimmy met me just round the corner as I buckled and gasped. But it was serious pain. It was like some set my heart on fire. I scrambled round desperately at my chest to rip my heart out, anything to stop the surging explosion of acid flames that made my body feel unexplainable. It vibrated my tissues and swam through my head.
Jimmy held onto my hand, putting his fingers round each wrists. Then he lowered me to the ground.
“Ripping your heart out won't help.” I could of thrown him off. Easy... but the pain had died down already. It left the space where my heart was supposed to be I felt empty but full of ash. Like it really had burned part of me away. And it left my gasping for air and kneeling on the floor with my hands out in front of me. I tried to clear my head and wiped back the sweat.
The emptiness was drowning me. It was like a sickness pain but in my chest. It was horrible. Disgusting.
“Did you and Matt just have an argument or something?” Jimmy asked calmly and I looked up at his chalky face and those deep circles as he held onto my elbows to support me.
“Yeah.” I managed.
“If you break up with him, then it will feel like all your insides are gone and that you are only a shell. The pain will kill you a slow and torturous death. If you have an argument then it will torturer your heart. Its a lot more painful if your human with an active heart obviously. The only way to restore what will feel like weights pressing on your chest and making you feel sick, is to restore that chip of love you just lost. You can't go back and hug him and say I'm sorry. It has to be real and not just words and actions. Okay?” I stood up slowly and nodded.
“Thank you. Now please rest.” he looked awful.
“Sure thing.” I started to go to the bisection room but rough hands caught my shoulders.
“Matt's eyes, nose and ears will be streaming with a little bit of blood right now from the pressure. Not a good idea. He was probably sick as well.” I put my fingers over my eyes.
“Oh god, this was bad. I'm so sorry. With his condition the stress it has probably put on his body. I'm so sorry. I... oh shit I'm a bad person.” he shook his head.
“Don't worry. I'll clean it up...”
“No you won't. Nessa won't mind. No offence Jimmy but you look crap.” he moaned a little but nodded.
“Okay, fine with me. Just call if you need any help.” he patted me on the back and walked pass into the next room. I followed full of dread and fear. Real fear.
Enchantra looked up, and instantly read my flow of thoughts.
“Oh god Emma. You okay?”
“I think we should go do the mission now. If we have to build back love then we need a little time to recap.” I hated this. I hated it. It meant I couldn't fall in love or be with any one else, Matt thought we were finances, I thought it was like sister brother love. I'm stuck with a human, and I'm going to be wrecked when he dies. I might die. No one had seemed to realised this.
“Oh god yes. I agree. I once met a... it doesn't matter. But yes, we'll set off now then. Oh, and if you find a witch they may be able to help you.” something told me I didn't want to know the story of who she met and what miserable ending it had. And in a way I still wanted to love Matt and wondered if that would be possible if we managed to break this true love shit.
“Actually. It was a happy ending this time. For him any way.”
“Huh.” she joined my side and we went out side to sit on the wall.
“Were wolfs have things called soul mates. Only 50% of them find them. Were wolfs are good at tracking. Its true love for humans. Soul mates for were wolfs. I don't know what it is for witches. Barley any people know anything about those secretive devils. But I do know there isn't one for vampires unless they had true love before they were changed. Did you know that only 45% of vampires survive there first week of being a vampire? Their body doesn't accept the blood. Any way, back to one of the only happy stories I have.
I fell in love with a were-wolf as our covens passed. We used to meet up every night even though we were based very far apart. Obviously both quick and agile.
“We used to lie next to each other staring at the stars. They were the happiest months of my life. I was finally settling down. When were wolfs see there soul mates they know that they are soul mate straight away. Some were-wolfs find there soul mate and fall in love with them but can never actually get them to fall in love with them. Only half the time you get two were wolfs that are soul mates.
Being a vampire I knew there was no way to connect with this person as other types from our world do, to ensure of be guaranteed that we would stay connected for ever more. I.e, true love.
So we were walking along one day holding hands. We had gone on a holiday to Texas. He had always wanted to go, he said his tracking senses told him to, so we just did as a break. And he saw this cute cowgirl chick riding a white horse (of course) and his hand slipped mine immediately and he gasped, “that's my soul mate!”
I was in so much pain at the time. But I still wanted to make sure she accepted him so I hang around for a couple of days. I couldn't go near humans though. At the time I was very ravenous and stupid. I thirsted for blood all the time and was a monster of the night.
She did take him. He was tall with good looks and a nicely toned body. A husky voice and a big smile. Werewolves come like humans, in all different shapes and sizes.
So he was happy and because he was happy. It made me happy. I don't think he ever thought about me again after that. But I couldn't read minds at the time so I cant be sure. Normally werewolves are an open book.” I looked at her.
“I'm going to do everything I can to make sure its a happy ending for you.” I herd my self promising. More to myself that her.
She squeezed my hand.
“Thanks. That means a lot.” and with that we set off into the night.