Velvet Stars.
Chapter eight. Envy, Rosalind.
It was odd. I was aware of the cold floor of the bath room on my cheek, yet I was in my dream, a black empty dream with nothing but a girl, pale as icing on a cake, with dark hair and seething eyes. And I was coming back to reality despite her protests. It was just something about the dream that told me it was more than just a dream.
I soon drifted back to reality, and reality was the sickness and the sadness and the pain. I sat up rubbing the side of my face that had come in contact with the floor.
Quickly I cleaned up the blood and sick and ran a quick shower to cleanse my body.
The last thing I wanted was for my farther to know my abilities. So I drudgingly walked round the house, telling it all to come back to life.
Life. Live. Live, the pots of plants sprang back in there dull greens and my budgies flapped irritably round the cage in shock so the house now full of vibes with life which I always envisaged in my head a throbbing jade green, next to the empty space of man made items where I couldn't sense anything and the black, deepening holes of death. I wanted to kick the cream wired cage but my feelings were gone. My head was blank and my movements felt like some one else's, as if I were a puppet. And that when I herd it. The voice of kids laughing, ringing through the street.
I ran over the soft cream carpet of the hall way to the window and pressed right up against it to stare at the four kids who were walking along with out a care in the world.
I recognised one. Nelly Felton from my year four class before my farther murdered my mother and I was taken into private tutoring in case I was to tell any one. And I felt a surge of pure emerald envy rush through my body, burning my chest drunk with sizzling adrenalin. I fumbled with the lock on the window, trying not to admit to myself I was frightened. As the huge round panelled window opened a creak the voices flew in. it was a merry chatter. They were laughing and talking about normal things. They were living young and loving it.
They had cigarettes and red bull and were effing and going at the top of there humorous voices about school and GCSE's and teachers and the clothes they bought and the cars they want. As if I will get the choice of the car I want. I like the little Ferrari California but I would love a Vincent Black Shadow motor bike. Can you imaging the danger and ferocity of that? It made my insides roll with pleasure.
I cocked my head to one side to stare back at the group who were steadily making there way down the street. They'll go to uni, I thought, they'll go out each weekend getting pissed and having the time of there lives. If I didn't have a lap top for the internet then I would be completely isolated from the world and wouldn't under stand what I was missing. But I want to keep up, I don't want to stay nine for ever. I leaned forward onto the cool surface of the window, my breath steamed it up as I tried to image myself standing there. Talking about my love for big beautiful motor bikes and cute 1950's cars, not feeling worried about my opinions, wondering if it will get me a clip round the ear.
I sighed as there voices drifted round the corner along with them, although I could still hear the occasional high, goofy laugh.
I turned my back to them and proceeded to my bed then paused out side my room with my hand on the gold door nob. Oh how I would love to lye down and close my eyes and imagine I was some one else for the time being. Forget everything. But if farther would arrive home and I was a sleep he would take it as lazy, as not trying to help round the house and support his job. Although I had Mr Jeninson coming in tomorrow for my pointless schooling. So I padded down stairs and, trying desperately to keep my burning eyes open, started to cook him Chilli Con Carne for dinner.
I soon drifted back to reality, and reality was the sickness and the sadness and the pain. I sat up rubbing the side of my face that had come in contact with the floor.
Quickly I cleaned up the blood and sick and ran a quick shower to cleanse my body.
The last thing I wanted was for my farther to know my abilities. So I drudgingly walked round the house, telling it all to come back to life.
Life. Live. Live, the pots of plants sprang back in there dull greens and my budgies flapped irritably round the cage in shock so the house now full of vibes with life which I always envisaged in my head a throbbing jade green, next to the empty space of man made items where I couldn't sense anything and the black, deepening holes of death. I wanted to kick the cream wired cage but my feelings were gone. My head was blank and my movements felt like some one else's, as if I were a puppet. And that when I herd it. The voice of kids laughing, ringing through the street.
I ran over the soft cream carpet of the hall way to the window and pressed right up against it to stare at the four kids who were walking along with out a care in the world.
I recognised one. Nelly Felton from my year four class before my farther murdered my mother and I was taken into private tutoring in case I was to tell any one. And I felt a surge of pure emerald envy rush through my body, burning my chest drunk with sizzling adrenalin. I fumbled with the lock on the window, trying not to admit to myself I was frightened. As the huge round panelled window opened a creak the voices flew in. it was a merry chatter. They were laughing and talking about normal things. They were living young and loving it.
They had cigarettes and red bull and were effing and going at the top of there humorous voices about school and GCSE's and teachers and the clothes they bought and the cars they want. As if I will get the choice of the car I want. I like the little Ferrari California but I would love a Vincent Black Shadow motor bike. Can you imaging the danger and ferocity of that? It made my insides roll with pleasure.
I cocked my head to one side to stare back at the group who were steadily making there way down the street. They'll go to uni, I thought, they'll go out each weekend getting pissed and having the time of there lives. If I didn't have a lap top for the internet then I would be completely isolated from the world and wouldn't under stand what I was missing. But I want to keep up, I don't want to stay nine for ever. I leaned forward onto the cool surface of the window, my breath steamed it up as I tried to image myself standing there. Talking about my love for big beautiful motor bikes and cute 1950's cars, not feeling worried about my opinions, wondering if it will get me a clip round the ear.
I sighed as there voices drifted round the corner along with them, although I could still hear the occasional high, goofy laugh.
I turned my back to them and proceeded to my bed then paused out side my room with my hand on the gold door nob. Oh how I would love to lye down and close my eyes and imagine I was some one else for the time being. Forget everything. But if farther would arrive home and I was a sleep he would take it as lazy, as not trying to help round the house and support his job. Although I had Mr Jeninson coming in tomorrow for my pointless schooling. So I padded down stairs and, trying desperately to keep my burning eyes open, started to cook him Chilli Con Carne for dinner.