The World Is Ugly.

One week, one whole week.

Yeap, the supposed night turned into a week…

The next morning when I got up, they wouldn’t let me go. I swear. I tried to, but every time they just found lame excuses to hold me here.
I wasn’t going to complain, they were kinda nice. The first night I stayed in the room I had woken up into, but after that I felt so bad because Bob had to sleep on the couch. So, they went back to their respective rooms.

The dark red room was Gerard’s, Mikey and Frank were staying in the grey room, and Bob and Ray were staying in the only room with two double beds, the blue night room.

The couch was comfortable, more than when I slept in the forest. I was just glad I had a roof over my head, food to eat and the free access to the bathroom.

I was currently sitting on the couch, the TV was on but I was too busy looking outside to even pay attention to it. They were all out and what made me worried was the fact that they were smiling and glancing at me when they left. They had been gone for a couple of hours already and I should probably start the dinner soon.

That was kind of a silent agreement between us, I’d cook for them, and clean the apartment and they’d let me stay with them.

In that week, I had come to know them a little bit more. Frank and Mikey were kind of an item, which often made Gerard uneasy because Mikey was his younger brother and all…

Mikey worked in a bookstore, Frank was a tattoo artist that would explain all the ink covering his body…

Ray was a guitar teacher, he was teaching how to play the guitar to little kids from 5 to 12 years old.

Bob was a cab driver. And Gerard was working at a coffee shop. All were coffee addicts, Frank was vegetarian, and they were all smoking, except Mikey because he had asthma.

I scribbled everything I knew about them in my little notebook. To keep a trace of my little trip, what happened when I left home and stuff of the kind.

I wanted to be able to remember everything when I’d be old and wrinkled.

I took out my video camera from my bag, and switched it on, turning it on so I was facing the objective.

“Alright, it’s been a week since I arrived in the big Apple. Today, 15th December, I’m still staying at Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Bob and Frank’s apartment. I’ve been cooking and doing their laundry for them. They’re pretty nice fellows… Always ready to party and stuff… But of course, I’ll not stay here forever. I’ll have to leave eventually. My guess is that I’ll probably have to leave when they’re not around, otherwise I’ll be stuck here forever… not that I mind being here, they’re nice and everything, but I didn’t not leave my hometown to be stuck in an apartment. I want to move, I need to move… I can’t stay at the same place for too long. My parents might start looking for me… Probably Kevin already started… I think I’ll go to a payphone and call them, to tell them that I’m alright and that they shouldn’t start looking for me, to tell them that I’ll come back when I’m ready.” I kept on rambling, holding the camera at arms-length. I sighed and bit my lip slightly. “I think I’ll start looking for a job. Just something to keep me busy during the day, since I’m alone from 7.30 am to 8 or sometimes even 10pm every day, except on Sundays. Speaking of Sundays, they still hadn’t come back.”

I heard the familiar ‘clang’ sound of the lift.

“Ah, they’re back.” And with that, I switched the camera off and shoved it back in my bag.

I sat up on the couch, closed my notebook and put it in my bag, before throwing the bag on the floor, and grabbed the remote to pretend to be flickering through the channels.

The door opened and I jumped up, walking towards the door, and holding it open as Frank and Mikey walked through the door, smiling.

“Where are the others?” I asked, rubbing my neck.

“Right there!” yelled someone in the corridor. I frowned, and walked outside of the small apartment, only to see Bob, Ray and Gerard dragging something out of the lift.

“What is it?” I asked, backing away in the apartment. As they were finally moving towards the apartment.

“Your new bed!” shouted Frank, swinging his arm around my shoulder.

“Huh?”

“You.will.no.longer.sleep.on.the.couch.” said Frank, detaching each word, speaking close to my ear. I shuddered, feeling his breath against my neck and pushed him.

He groaned and rubbed his nose, since I had pretty much slammed my hand on his face to push him away.

“Thank you. I got it now…” I said, before turning to look at the rest of them.

“One, two, three…” and they dropped what looked like a mattress on the wooden floor. They pushed it in the really small place between the two walls. And I realized that the wooden desk that usually was there, wasn’t anymore. It had been pushed somewhere else. The mattress was just the right side. It fitted perfectly in the small space that used to be considered as the desk room.

Gerard wiped his hands on his tight black jeans and then turned to smile at me, just like the rest of them did.

“Tadam!” yelled Frank, coming back in the apartment and closing the front door with his foot. I had no idea he had left, but I kind of should have guessed, since it became calm all of a sudden. Anyway, he was holding something dark by his side, and it was bigger than him. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and then turned to look at Mikey.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s a folding screen.” Explained Ray, taking it from Frank’s hands and walking over the mattress. He placed it next to one of the wall and pulled at the side, and yes, in fact, it was a folding screen. There was only a small space between the end of the folding screen and the opposite wall, big enough for me to pass.

“You’ll have some privacy now…” explained Gerard.

“And you’ll be able to sleep naked if you feel like it…” added Frank. “Not that I care or whatever you know… You have boobs, I don’t like boobs.” He said, snorting.

“Yeah, I kind of knew that… As far as I know, Mikey ain’t a girl…” I said.

“Well, he does squeal like a girl when…” said Frank, looking thoughtful, a finger on his chin.

“And that’s when you shut up.” Cut Gerard. “I gave you my blessing to be with my little brother. You two can do whatever you want to each others as long as I don’t know about it.” Said Gerard, running a hand through his black locks and then turned to look at me.

“So, what do you think?” he asked.

“Well, it’s very nice. Thanks! But you shouldn’t have, the couch was just fine…” I said, playing with the sleeves of my last clean piece of clothing.

I really needed to go to the laundry room downstairs. It had become an emergency.

“Ah shut it. You deserved something better than a lame ass couch to sleep on.” Said Bob, with a wave of his hand.

“I slept on worst. Seriously, you shouldn’t have.” I said, shoving my hands in my jeans’ pockets. I felt bad. I was living in their apartment, they were feeding me and everything and yet, they bought me a fucking mattress and a folding screen so I could have some privacy…

I felt horrible. I thought I was going to leave in less than a week. Guess I’d probably have to stay longer…

“Just say ‘thank you’ and drop it.” Said Frank, sighing before letting himself fall on the couch.

“Thank you guys, really.” I whispered.

“What’s for dinner?” asked Ray, patting my head in a loving manner.

“Vegetarian lasagna.” I said, trying to smooth my hair.

Cheering could be heard as I picked up my big bag from its place next to the couch.

“I’m gonna go do some laundry. I’m running out of clothes.” I explained, swinging the bag over my shoulder and heading to the front door. I put one my Chucks and left the apartment. I got into the lift and pressed the button to the first floor. I slowly but surely got out of the lift and headed to the laundry room that was located down a couple of steps. No one was there. I switched on the light, grabbed one of the baskets and emptied the content of my bag into the basket. I picked up all of my dark clothes and stuffed them in one of the washing machines. I did everything I was supposed to do to make it work and wash my clothes properly before putting the rest of my clothes into an other washing machine and repeating the process. Then, I sat my butt on the bench that was in the middle of the laundry room and starred at one of the machine, my elbows resting on my knees, loosing myself in my thoughts. Some brighter than others. I tried to analyze what I was feeling right now, sitting in a dark laundry room, with the light bulb above me about to explode or something, with the noise it was making…

And I was happy, except that I did feel a little guilty, but yeah… But I will not stop because some guys I barely knew bought me a mattress… Okay, that was harsh, because what they did was clearly one of the nicest things someone ever did for me. And the truth was that I was happy there, I haven’t been here for long, but they were all so nice, and they all have their own personality.

I heard the sound of footsteps and immediately sat up straighter. I turned my head, looking towards the door, and sighed in relief when I saw Gerard coming through the door.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “All your clothes are clean, ironed, and folded on your bed.” I added.

“Yeah I know, thank you by the way. I just came down there to see if you wanted some company.” He said, staying at the doorway.

I had two options.
To tell him to fuck off, or accept the company and let him stay with me. That would mean that I could no longer drown in my thoughts. That probably wasn’t a bad idea…

“Sure, why not…” I said, looking down at the wooden bench, wondering if it would support both our weights.

Gerard smiled and made his way to the bench, he sat down next to me, leaving some space between us. I was grateful.

“So, how are you enjoying your life in the big Apple so far?” he asked, stretching his arms above his head. I silently prayed he wasn’t trying to be smooth and put his arm around my shoulder or anything of the kind. That would suck. I’d have to push him away. I’m still with Kevin in theory.

He cracked his back and then dropped his arms by his side, resting his hands on his lap.

“It’s okay you know. Pretty different from what I’m used to… There’s about as much people in this building that in my hometown.” I said, looking at him. “And I’m not exaggerating.” I added.

He chuckled lowly and ran a hand through his dark locks.

“I bet you don’t. I know you don’t.” he said, briefly gazing at me before bringing his gaze back to whatever he was looking at previously.

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain himself, but he stayed rather quiet after that.

“Is Jaelynn your real name?” he asked after a few minutes of silence, which I had spent watching my clothes in the machine. I was feeling quiet sick, watching them being spun and stuff.

His question caught me off guard and it took me more than a second to proceed it in my mind.

“Yeah… Yeah, it’s my real name. Of course it is.” I replied, a little taken aback. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Just checking.” He said, still not looking at me.

Yeah, he was such a good company. Please, note the sarcasm here. I feel like I was dialoguing with a wall. Seriously, why the hell would he come to keep me company and then just ask me if I had lied about my name. I don’t lie. Never did, never will.

“I do not lie.” I said, voicing my thoughts out loud.

I saw his face twitched and he turned his head to meet my gaze. He raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak.

“You’re one of the only persons I know who doesn’t tell lies.” He said.

“Is that a bad thing?” I asked, not looking away from his curious gaze.

“No… It’s rare. Everyone lies one day or an other. It’s just human.”

“I do not lie.” I repeated slowly. He rolled his eyes.

“Hey! Do not roll your eyes at me! I’m telling you the truth. I always do!” I argued.

His expression went blank for a second.
“I’m going back to see the guys. Will you be alright down here by yourself?” he asked, getting up.

“Of course.” I said, and just to show him, I kept my eyes glued on his, waiting for him to look away.

“Okay…” he said slowly and then turned to leave.

Can you say weird much? I can.

For the first time in my life, I had been face to face with what you could call ‘doubt’. No one had ever doubt me before. No one.

I felt kinda of weird. As if I had to prove myself. As if I had to show him that I wasn’t lying, prove him that I had never lied.

It was stupid in a way. I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me. Why should I bother?
Because I hate injustice. And the fact that Gerard didn’t believe me, I was taking it as a personal attack.

I was going to show him.