I Bleed On These Handcuffs

MONTH ONE
I woke up in a jail cell. Well. Not a federal cell or anything, just a holding cell at the local PD. As soon as I woke up I couldn’t refrain from letting a scream escape my lips. It was drawn out but not very loud. While I screamed the memories and pain (emotional and physical) rushed back to me from the previous night. My hand was covered in gauze that had a big red spot on it now and my ankle had a soft wrap around it. I sat on the cot I had apparently spent the night on and put my head in my hands. I didn’t cry, I just sat like stone. After my scream there was nothing rushing through me, I had temporarily shut down. I didn’t need a mirror to know that my brown eyes looked empty and it probably seemed I had no heart within that time period. I sat like from the time the sun came up to high noon. I could tell it was this time of day because there was a small window in this depressing little room. It had cement walls, ceiling, and floor. The door was only bars out of which I could see a couple desks that probably belonged to some cops who don’t get to go into the field. We all know the type who grew up imagining the glamour of catching the bad guys, and now they’re stapling papers and stuck behind a desk where they’ll never see any action and it eats away at them every day. There were three small holding cells in here and I was in the middle one. The one to my right and left where identical to the one I was in. I didn’t know if they were occupied or vacant and I had no desire to find out. When the sun was high in the sky someone banged on the bars of my cell. I looked up to see my parents. I stood up very slowly and walked to the bars that contained me here. My dad had his arm around my mom and they stood there on the other side of my bars. I knew they were here to remind me how much trouble it would cause them that Melinda died. The effects it would cause them because they locked me up here. Then it occurred to me for the first time, why was I even locked up here? My dad looked me in the eyes and he was the first one to speak. “So at least we know you have balls. I personally thought you would never have enough gut to kill Melinda.”
“WHAT?!” I snapped at him and grabbed the bars. It must’ve looked like fire raging through my eyes, “I would never kill her! I love her! I tried to help her!! WHY WOULD YOU SAY I KILLED HER?!?!” What my father did next makes me sick to my stomach to this day. He chuckled, he laughed in my face.
“They found you soaked in her blood with the murder weapon. They say the attacker came out of the bushes and you were covered in dirt and leaves. She had shown signs of struggle and you were hurt. Not to mention your apparent outburst at the kid she cheated on you with.” I couldn’t hold back. For all the years of shit my parents put me through I just cracked right there. I reached and arm through the bar and grabbed my dad’s arm. I squeezed on a pressure point near the elbow till his eyes were tearing. My mom looked terrified.
“I’m not her murderer.” That was the only thing I managed to say to him. My mother finally pried my hand off his arm and she gave me that stern look I had feared ever since I was a baby. At once I withdrew from her eyes and sat back on my cot. Without looking at them I whispered, “Please leave.” And once they were gone I couldn’t contain my tears any longer. A tall man came up to my bars about half an hour later. He was a plump man wearing a blue suit with a black tie. He looked very official and when I looked up at him with my red and puffy eyes he simply showed me his badge. I nodded. I got the idea that he was another cop and I had to listen to him. I just rose to my feet and met him at the bars. He had keys and handcuffs in his hands. He unlocked the bars and spun me around. He snapped the handcuffs one very tightly, it was uncomfortable. He walked me in front of him until we reached a bolt-locked blue door. I followed him into the room and he sat me down at a metal table in a single chair. It was an interrogation room; it looked the same as in the movies. The man stood across the table from me and he started to talk.
“Hello there boy. I’m officer Michaels. I’ve been reviewing your files all day. You’ve never had any run in with the law previously, you’re no honor student but you pass your classes. You’ve only gotten few detentions even. What possessed you to kill that young woman? I also heard she was your girlfriend. Now what kind of sick-o kills their own girl?” He thought the same as everyone else. Everyone thought I had killed her. I just stared down at the table wearing my best poker face. I never really paid attention in social studies and I wasn’t big on CSI or anything. I thought back to anything I had heard them say. The innocent ones anyway. I tried to list my rights that they made us memorize last year. Lawyer, I need a lawyer.
“I’m not talking without a lawyer.” I decided that was the best reply. I could feel my temper rising and I was usually calm but I was still all jumbled up from everything. I knew I would probably say or do something that would make me look worse. My dad was an asshole but he had been right. I must look pretty bad right now, but I live in the back of a complex. There had been a party that night at Eric Till’s house so all the teenagers were out and if you lived in the apartments as me than your parents probably worked all the time. There were no witnesses to plead my innocence. The cop, Officer Michaels, walked over by the door and pulled out his cell phone. An Envy2. Those are everywhere nowadays. He mumbled into the phone and then hung up. He turned towards me and said
“A lawyer will be here in about 10 minutes. So make yourself comfortable.”
“Then can you take these damn handcuffs off me?”
“Sorry kid. After that little stunt with your dad I’ve personally classified you as violent.”
“Please, they’re cutting through my skin.” That was the moment he slammed his palms down on the table. It made a crashing noise that I can still hear ringing in my ears. He looked me in the eyes with his gray, huge eyes. I saw years of pain and lost love in those eyes. He had seen cold-blooded murderers and had no sympathy. Why would he treat me any different than a killer? He looked me in the eyes as if he was staring down into the depths of me. I felt his presence in my gut like an unwelcomed virus. I started to feel nauseas from the extreme noise of that extended silence. He finally gave me mercy and stood up. He held his gaze.
“You have nothing going for you boy.” I hated Officer Michaels in that moment. I started shaking and jerking around in my seat.
“I didn’t kill her! I didn’t kill her! I could never kill her!” I stopped and just bowed my head. Unable to hide my face I tried my hardest to refrain from crying but I couldn’t hold it back. My tears fell silently though. I couldn’t allow this oversized bully to break me to the point of sobbing. Whenever I cried around Melinda she just sat there with her arms around me till I was calm enough to name a song. Then she would go on limewire on her laptop she always brought and download it if she didn’t have it. She’d play that song over and over till both of us were laughing and singing along to it like we were drunk. All I could think about was laughing with her and kissing her. I sat there and my tears stopped as I thought about her and then every emotion was gone from me except love for her. “I love her…” I don’t think it ever had so much meaning behind it at any other time in my whole life I said that. A couple of minutes later the woman who was set to be my attorney came in. She pulled up a chair and sat beside me. I gathered myself at once and she looked at me. After just a glance at me she said,
“You’re not guilty. I’m going to prove it too.” I smiled at her and she smiled back. “Alright, let’s get to business.” So we went on with the interrogation and about halfway through I winced. My lawyer turned to me and asked what was wrong. I told her how tight the handcuffs were. “Those are truly not necessary I assure you Officer Michaels.” She had a certain melody to her voice that almost seemed to enchant. It must be powerful because the officer just nodded and walked around the table and removed my handcuffs. I had bright red marks around both my wrists. SO he asked questions and I answered to the best of my ability with my lawyers help. I told him what happened with an even tone. Once he ran out of questions I was to be brought back to the holding cell. “I’d like to walk him back, un-handcuffed.” As I walked back to the cell with my lawyer she talked and I talked.
“My name is Anthony.”
“I know. I’m Jessica. I prefer to be on first name basis.”
“Sounds good to me. How long have you been a lawyer.”
“About three months. I’m going to tell you something, the system wants you guilty. That’s why they gave me your case. They think I’m young so I’ll lose, but we’re going to win. I know you didn’t kill her.”
“Thank you. You’re the first person to believe me all day. Even my parents…well they never liked me much anyway.”
“That’s because they’re probably dicks. You’re a good kid Anthony. I was a kid a lot more recently than you think.” At this point she motioned her hand telling me to step into my cell. She closed the bars and I stood on the inside while she stood on the outside.
“How recently?” I mean, she had to go to law school. She’s a lawyer after all.
“I’m only 18.” She said then she gave me a little wave goodbye and left. How did I end up being represented by an 18 year old??!!